by Tara Brown
I glanced at the locket once more, certain it was deceiving me, but the man eating and speaking to the woman across the table was exactly the man on my wrist. The face flashed and was gone.
"Millia."
My eyes darted back to Grayson. He glanced over his shoulder at the man. "Who is he?"
I shook my head. "I don’t know." It was the truth.
"Why are you looking at him like you want to kill him?"
I shrugged. "I don’t know." Again it was the truth.
“The girl is probably a working girl. You needn’t give them that stare. He’s probably a lonely old man in need of company and she’s a young thing in need of cash. It works for them.” Grayson’s voice trailed off as I stopped paying attention to him and focused on them.
The man was indeed older, like my father was. He had dark-gray and black hair with a thick beard and bushy eyebrows. The lady whose hand he was busy stroking looked my age. I would guess they were father and daughter, had it not been for the intimate nature of the way they were conversing. I grimaced, imagining such an old man kissing and touching me.
I smiled at Grayson who was still perplexed at the faces I was making. "I think I need to take a walk. I'm feeling quite full. Thank you for breakfast—and everything else."
"I did have—do have ulterior motives, Millia."
I furrowed my brow.
“Not like that.” He laughed and nodded at the old man caressing the young woman. “I meant motives in the most honest and innocent way.” He grinned wide and leaned across the table to tuck my hair behind my ear. "Don’t frown. I just want you to have a night out with me. Not here. Somewhere else. To have fun, real fun that doesn't involve me working or fire ale.”
I contemplated the request and the months I’d had of doldrums and despair.
“Meet me here at nightfall?"
I watched his lips and smiled. "Yes." I gave myself permission. It was an easy decision. He had earned my trust over the course of our friendship. His care for me was obvious, not something I had to stress myself over. I liked that about him. He was a good friend.
He stood, lifting me to my feet by my hand and leaned in, across the table. His lips brushed my cheek so softly with warm breath and whispered words, "See you at dusk." He lingered, kissing a second time before releasing me and walking away.
My knees were weak for a moment. I glanced over at the man I would kill and noticed a figure move from the window where the man sat.
Maddox. I felt a small trickle of guilt. He must have seen the kiss. The innocent kiss of two friends, but it must have looked like more. It felt like more. I think deep down I wanted it to be more.
I pushed away all the thoughts and left the inn, turning in the opposite direction from where Maddox had walked. I had no reason to feel guilty. He had rejected me and it was high time I let it go.
I didn’t go back to the cottage. I didn’t need more guilt seeing Artan. I still owed him an apology.
Instead, I went around the block and circled my way back to the building across from the inn. I slipped inside the front door, noting it was a supply shop. I pretended to be looking but ducked into the back room before the owner could see me.
I climbed the back steps to a storage area and walked through the dimly lit, cluttered space to the single window that faced the inn. I sat on a crate and watched the man in the window. His face again flickered on my locket.
He reached across the wooden table and stroked the cheek of the young redhead he sat with. She looked like she was giggling. I wondered why I had to kill him, beyond his obvious love of young women, which always made me a bit leery.
"You don’t have to do all this to make me jealous."
I jumped, lifting my hands in the air in fists and readying for a fight. I lowered them when I saw the grim face of the boy I needed to be rid of. "God's light, Max! You scared the ever-loving peace out of me." I turned away from him and looked back at the mark.
He growled my name, "Amillia."
I refused to turn my head and show him my stubborn expression. He knew the look. He would know I still loved him the minute he saw it. I didn't want him to know that. I wanted to be rid of him—in my heart and my head and my presence.
"Amillia."
"What?" My tone was edgy.
He took a step toward me. The floorboard creaked under his weight. I turned and put a finger to my lips. "Shhh."
I noticed his stubble was growing in more than it ever had and he looked exhausted.
Before I could stop myself from caring, I asked, "Hey, are you all right? Are you ill?"
He arched an eyebrow and gave me an incredulous look. "No. What kind of a question is that?"
I jerked back, blushing. "What? I'm being nice. You look exhausted, you haven’t shaved, and you're wearing dirty clothing. I just wanted to be sure you're all right. You look unwell."
“I meant no, of course I’m not all right. I’m plagued by this.” He shook his head, pressing his lips together. "I can't keep you safe. It's driving me insane. You're driving me insane. You wear that ridiculous outfit out, to an inn no less. You drink with a bunch of men you don’t know and get me into a fight with some boy you're using to make me jealous. You're putting yourself at risk, for what? To punish me?"
“To punish you? You really believe all I do revolves around you and what it will do to you? Are you that narcissistic?” I laughed. "You're being a child."
His face twisted.
Of course the image of it made me stop laughing. "The last thing I was thinking about was ways to get you to pay attention to me. You told me flat out that you had no intention of being around me or loving me, and yet here you are. Taunting me. Jealous? No. I like him. I've known him for almost seven months and I like him a lot. He's sweet and funny and attractive." The last word surprised us both.
His anger was replaced by the most painful look. Sheer agony crossed his face. "You love him?"
“No. But I could.” Easily. He’s loveable and fun and easy to be around. He’s the exact opposite of you.” I winced, hating I’d said it, and yet continuing with all the things I felt. "I don’t know, Max. I've never given him much of a chance. He's been there, trying to get my attention and being my friend and asking for nothing in return. And I’ve nearly missed it because I've been obsessed and broken up about you. Now that you've freed me from any guilt or feelings I might have had about you, I find myself entertaining the idea of him. You can go and not worry about me. I can take care of myself." My eyes hardened as the amusement left my face. "I always could, Maddox."
He crossed the floor in a single step, grabbing me roughly. He pressed his face into mine and kissed like we were in the woods and my back was against a tree. His tongue and lips moved quickly. It was the oddest kiss, but I found myself giving in. His hands slid down my back, grabbing me, cupping my butt and lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around him and let him sit me on a higher crate. Somehow his fingers found their way up the back of my shirt.
My hands were sliding down his hardened stomach but I stopped. I leaned back and pushed him away. "Why are you doing this now? I have a chance to be free of you, finally, but you don't want that, do you? You don't want me to get over you?"
He put his lips on mine again, but I pulled back.
"You didn’t want me until someone else wanted me."
“I’ve always wanted you.” He sighed. "Amillia, everyone who has met you has always wanted you. You turned down three princes your father suggested before Herrick and Roland forced your hand.”
The names brought fury with them but his sigh mellowed it. “I have always wanted you, and now that shop boy wants you. The men you were drinking with wanted you. Everyone has always wanted you. This is not news to either of us, so stop acting like a wounded child."
My back straightened as I shoved him back even more using my foot. "I turned down an old stodgy prince, nearly my father’s age. Then I turned down a child, ten years my junior who wouldn't even marry me unti
l he turned eighteen and I was eight and twenty. The final prince I turned down was very attracted to my brother Ed and he was three years my junior. Of course I turned down Herrick—who would marry Herrick? No one of worth wanted me or has ever wanted me, not till Grayson did."
His eyes burned. "I've always wanted you."
"But you said I was the one with the young girl’s crush. I was the one who wanted you. That you never made me promises." Rage and anger were burning inside me. He had ignited something I'd never felt before. A desire built from the flames of passion that could turn on me and become an anger like I'd never felt before either.
He licked his lips. "I told you I never promised you anything and I didn’t. I always wanted you, but I knew I could never have you."
I slid off the crate, looking up into his dark-blue eyes, and continued to shove my foot into his chest, holding him back. "I have a job to do." I was trembling with hate, actual hate. His finger moved fast, shoving my leg to the side and sliding up against me, pressing our chests together.
But my hands moved fast too. I had pulled a dagger from my belt as he grabbed my leg and now had it pressed against his throat. He swallowed, nearly making me cut him. I leaned in, pressing on it. "Stop toying with me. I know what you're doing. It's always been you, always, and now it's not and that’s driving you insane. But I'm not playing this game anymore. I'm done with you hurting me. You don’t want me, but you don’t want me to be with anyone else."
He snarled and pressed his throat into my blade, making a small line of dark-red blood trickle from his neck. "Do it. End my life. I'd rather be dead than watch you like I must."
I grinned and stepped back. "You and I have something in common; you don’t stay dead, Max."
He smiled. "I like it when you call me Max. You know we're the same."
I nodded weakly. "Yeah, the devil doesn’t want either of us." I turned and slipped up the stairs to the roof of the building. The man from the inn was gone from the window. The cool air wasn’t making me feel better. I was angry and defeated, and yet full of rage.
Maddox had come at exactly the right moment. I was weak from the fire ale and the sweet kiss of Grayson. He was trying to make me stay stuck on him, but I would resist his urges. My urges.
I scanned the crowded streets below, but couldn’t see my mark.
"He's gone. I can track him for you." I look back at Maddox standing on the roof behind me, staring at me with his hardened eyes. I wanted to stab him, but instead I laughed psychotically. "You are going to get me killed. You're risking my entire life for this game you want so badly to play."
He pointed at me. "Don’t talk like that. I would never get you killed, ever."
"The witches never told you, did they? You have no idea what I'm doing up here, do you?"
His angry face slipped into a cocky grin. "Driving me crazy. It's what you’ve always done."
I shook my head and readjusted my band over my breasts, something his fingers had moved in our embrace. I pulled my shirt back into place and walked past him to the door. "Okay. Track him for me. If you can." I pointed. "You have till dusk. I have a date and I'm keeping it."
He swallowed hard. "We'll see."
I put my dagger, with his fresh blood still on the back of it, into the sheath and walked back through the door. "Yes, we shall."
Chapter Fifteen
I followed Maddox through the busy streets until he turned onto a very crowded one with a night market on it. When we got into a throng of shoppers, he reached back for my hand. I didn't even pay attention to it. I just let his warm hand envelope mine.
The sounds of the market were everywhere.
People were offering me dried and fresh nuts and fruits, jewels, and fabrics. If they only knew who they were offering them to. My jewels and fabrics at home were amazing.
He pulled me through the market, stopped and looked to the left and then back at me. I glanced at the gray-haired man and smirked. “Okay, apparently, you can track people like one of my father’s hounds. How proud your mother must be.”
He nodded. “I should have placed a wager on my ability.”
“What would you have wagered?” I jerked my hand from his.
He crossed his arms. “Your dinner with the wee lad from the inn.”
I rolled my eyes. “I wouldn’t have wagered with you, Max. He's a nice guy, and he's the same age as I am.” Wanting to change the subject, I glanced back at the man. “Do you know what I'm doing here?”
“They filled me in on your agreement. I'm sorry you have to do this.”
I shook my head, avoiding the emotion in his gaze. “I want to. There is no have to. Not when it comes to avenging my family. They're my blood. I must avenge my father.” I shook my head. “I don’t understand why Ed doesn't want to.”
His eyes flinched slightly. “He wants to. He's unable.”
I put my hands on my hips. “Why can't I see him? Where did you take him? Why are you keeping my family separate? Are you part of the plot against us? Will I see your face on here one day?” I lifted my hand with the locket.
He shook his head. “Not right now, Amillia.” I sighed and looked away from him. Same old Maddox. I didn’t know why I expected him to be less frustrating.
He reached into his pocket and offered me a shiny apple. I bit into it and watched the man who was holding jewels up to a young lady's neck.
The juice of the apple burst into my mouth as I spoke without looking at him, “Why didn’t you die? On the pyre when I thought you were dead?”
He leaned in to kiss me instead of answering, but I leaned away, still watching the man. “You either think an awful lot of the impact your affections have on me, or you assume I am so weak as to be distracted by that. Answer the damned question!”
“Watch your mouth.”
I turned to tell him where he could take his scolding of me, but he was grinning like he knew a secret. “I wasn’t trying to distract you. I’m not always plotting against you—in fact, rarely have I plotted against you.” I noticed his gaze was fixed on my mouth as he spoke as though in a trance. “Your lips were all red and covered in juice, and you were staring at my lips. I assumed you wanted me to kiss you.”
“I didn't,” I muttered back, also staring at his lips.
He cleared his throat and spoke softly, “I don’t have to worry the way normal people do about accidents and things. A sword cannot kill me. A fire might, but I didn't stay long enough to know.”
I frowned. “The red cloak. You always wore it to stop hunters from shooting you.”
He nodded blankly. “It would be very difficult to explain my rapid healing from an arrow being shot into my torso. I made certain it never happened. A bright-red cloak is seen by everyone.” His gaze tore to a couple behind us.
I followed it to the old man to see him kissing the young lady's cheek and putting a necklace around her throat. She pressed her blushed cheek into his lips and batted her eyelashes at him.
I gagged, making Maddox laugh. “That could have been me, Max.”
His arm slid along my back. “I won't ever let that be you. I would have murdered you before I let them marry you to Herrick.”
“Thanks.” I nodded. The old man turned and paid for the necklace. Maddox took my apple core and crossed the square to the garbage bin. The girl with the old man looked at Maddox. Her face flushed. She smiled sweetly at him. He missed it, looking over at a screaming child.
It made me sad. She was desperate to catch the eye of the gorgeous man crossing the square in front of her. The old man turned and she looked down. He took her hand and walked to the next merchant.
They shopped for a long time. My feet were starting to get sore. I hopped up on a stack of pallets and pretended to be homeless. It was easy when you were truly homeless. Maddox stayed with me. He was restless.
I looked at a rat running behind the pallets and grimaced.
“I bet you I can stick the rat from here with a dagger,” he muttered.
>
I laughed. “I'm going to dinner whether you kill the rat or not.”
He laughed but maintained his annoyed look. “What if he tries to kiss you?”
“He might and I hope he does. Because he’s always been sincere in his feelings, and he’s never been forward in a way to make me uncomfortable.” I grinned and looked down. “I think he wouldn't care if we were just a couple of shop workers and I never went home. He would love me for me and never need me to be anything but that.” It had been the wish I had made for Maddox and me for a decade.
He groaned. “Either I follow you two on your little dinner or you play by my rules. No kissing or cavorting with him. He’s beneath you.”
“I don't care.” I shook my head. “If you want to follow and watch me have fun, then that's your choice.” I wasn’t playing this with him anymore. “Your opinion of me is your own.”
He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair.
The old man helped the young girl inside a dress shop. I had never seen a man so enthusiastic in getting a woman to have sex with him. It was pathetic. “If I ever am forced to return to castle life, and I do end up having to marry, I hope he's at least man enough to tell me to piss off if I ask him to shop. This is ridiculous.”
“It's like this one has no self-respect. I wouldn’t shop with you if your life depended on it.” I glanced up at him. He looked at me and smiled. “Okay, only if your life depended on it. But otherwise, no.”
“It is a pity you had not just married me when I threw myself at you a hundred times.” I laughed. “I would have risked my life just to see you in a dress shop.”
He winced. “We would have had no money for dresses.”
“Then I would have happily worn leaves.” I brushed off the flagrant confession by nodding at the dress shop. “I've never seen nor heard tell of this kind of effort. She must be something pretty special where it counts.”
“Try to sound like you're at least slightly related to King Henry.” Maddox choked and looked horrified. I wasn't certain which comment had made him upset.
