by Caz May
I hate the smell of it, it’s a more overwhelming stench of bleach than the rest of the hospital and it always makes me want to gag.
The emergency department of Ridgehope hospital generally isn't that busy, usually only the occasional woman in labour or someone involved in a car accident as it’s the only hospital for a couple of hundred kilometres.
So when the unmistakable sound of sirens echoes around the hospital, it becomes a hive of activity as preparation for whatever case came through the double doors.
Zane is head doctor in charge today and he barks orders at me. His tone really irks me, and how he’s looking at me with a gaze so intent I feel like he’s stripping me of my scrubs with his eyes.
We’ve definitely gotten a little closer in the past couple of months, going out for drinks after work and attending the fundraiser night together, even sharing a few kisses that made me feel things I know I shouldn’t. But even so, in my eyes we are just friends.
I don't really have any other friends in Ridgehope so it'd been nice to have that closeness with someone again.I know still pining after Hunter at this point is ridiculous.
He’s clearly in love with Savannah, he'd confessed as much to me and I still can't let go.
The air is still always thick with tension whenever the Mackenney brothers are anywhere near me, even Quentin.
I’m still going over my last conversation with him at the fundraiser and can’t shake the feeling that he wants something more from me than just being friends, but I’ve never seen him in that light before. He’s always just been Hunter's little brother.
The thought had crossed my mind that maybe I should be with Quentin, considering we’re the same age and he’s just as good looking as Hunter, but I can't make my heart feel that way for him.
Right now though I have to concentrate on the emergency at hand, and get the Mackenney brothers out of my head. Again Zane barks at me, "Addison, you need to focus. We have a gun shot victim coming in stat."
Great, some idiot shot himself.
It’s not some idiot though that comes through the double doors, with the ambulance officers and two others at his side. It’s Hunter.
My heart falls to the floor, my jaw gaping looking at him on the stretcher barely holding on.
There’s no way Hunter had shot himself. He rarely ever used his gun, unless it was to put a sick animal out of their misery.
By his side Savannah and Quentin both appear in a complete panic and I can tell they were both involved somehow. They’re ushered out into the waiting area by a nurse.
"Addison?" Zane asks me, questioning why I’m not moving. I’m frozen and again Zane speaks to me, "Addison, saline, gauze, seriously now!"
I can't focus on his words. Hunter is being put on the bed.
His shirt is covered in blood and I want to vomit at the sight. Blood never has that effect on me, normally.
"What?" I muse, brushing the tears from my eyes.
"Get over here and do your job,” he yells at me.
The tears are pouring down my cheeks now. I want desperately to help Hunter, but I can't, afraid that I’ll do something wrong and he’ll be gone from my life because of a mistake I made when upset.
"I can't. I can’t,” I sob wretchedly.
"Addison, I'm not asking. We need to stabilise the patient for surgery."
Those words ring in my head. Surgery means only one thing. The bullet is possibly still inside and to save his life it needs to be removed.
My breathing is now panicky, my head spinning like I’m about to faint.
"Addison, please,” he says looking at me questionably, but also with an emotion on his face I’m not sure of.
"I c..can’t," I stutter, breaking further into uncontrollable tears.
Zane nods at the nurses to keep preparing Hunter for surgery, stepping a little closer to me before putting his hands on my shoulders and looking straight in my eyes when he speaks, "Addison I'm sorry. I know you're attached to the patient, so I'm going to ask you to step back. Please go out with his family."
I nod, shuffling out of the emergency department to the waiting area. Savannah is pacing the room, clearly as upset as I am. I don't hate her, but if Hunter dies because of this, I’ll never be able to forgive her for her possible part in his death.
There will always be tension between us, as long as we both love Hunter.
Quentin is seated on the waiting room chairs, his head in his hands. Walking up to him, I stop, standing in front of his legs, and through sobs I speak, "Quentin, w..what h..happened?"
He doesn't say anything, instead he stands up and pulls me into a hug. I cry into his shoulder, grateful for the comfort of someone who cares about me. Pulling back, it’s evident he has been crying too and sighing deeply he speaks with anger, "Dante happened. He fucking shot him."
"Dante?"
"Savannah's husband,” he says, just as angrily.
"Oh."
"I don't want to talk about it."
I don't either.
"Is Savannah ok? Was she there too?"
"I said I don't want to talk about it Addison,” he spits at me again, not looking at me but now focusing on the gurney being wheeled from emergency towards the surgery doors. Savannah is by it straight away, kissing Hunter's forehead.I can see her lips moving, but can't make out the words.
This is just not happening.
We all watch as Hunter is wheeled into surgery. Savannah comes to sit down on the waiting room chairs. The air is strained and thick with tension between us all wanting to say something but there are no words to say.
I should be the calm one in this situation, comforting his loved ones but I can't comfort her knowing that Hunter wants her, knowing that Hunter loves her.
I feel terrible that I want her to lose his love but I don't want him to be gone but her. I feel cruel but the hurt is so real. Tears are still stinging my eyes, from never having been in this situation before, having someone I love in danger of losing their life. I don't know how to feel or what to do.
Without warning Quentin pulls me into another hug, "Are you ok?" he asks with a friendly tone.
“No," I sniff, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ok.”
He doesn’t respond, instead shocks me by taking my hand in his and leading me in the direction of the main doors.
Walking past Savannah he asks her, "Savannah are you going to be ok here?"
'Yeah, I'll just wait here. I don't want to go anywhere."
"Alright if you're sure. I'm going to take Addison home,” Quentin says, looking at me with care evident in his dark eyes.
Quentin Mackenney isn't his brother, but I feel a little better having him around and his offer to take me home is genuinely caring.
The hospital is the last place I need to be right now, as I’ll only go more crazy thinking about Hunter in surgery.
I’m most likely the last person he'll want to see when he wakes up and I hate to admit it to myself but I really do need to let him go, for him.
(44) Quentin
I've never seen this side of Addison, emotional and vulnerable. She’s absolutely distraught from Hunter arriving in the hospital and clearly she still loves him. It makes the ache I still feel for her intensify.
I want her so damn bad, to take away the pain she’s feeling and turn it to pleasure, but at the same time I don't want to be that guy, taking advantage of her just because she’s feeling vulnerable.
Arriving at her house, which is only a short walk away from the hospital, she fumbles with the door knob.
Tears are still evident on her cheeks and I want to lean in closer to kiss them away. I follow her inside towards the kitchen.
"Coffee?" she asks softly, grabbing the kettle.
"Yeah coffee sounds great,” I reply.
There’s definitely something going on between us right now, a strange tension hampered by the fact that I can't read her emotions.
If only I could read her mind, to know what she’s th
inking when she looks at me like she’s about to burst into tears again at any moment.
If she was able to read my mind though I'd be in trouble.
Yes, I’m thinking about my brother in surgery but I’m also thinking about where in the house her bedroom is as I want to take her to it and strip her of the scrubs that envelope her body.
I know underneath her scrubs her body is delicious and I find myself licking my lips at the thought of tasting her skin, of kissing her and connecting her body with mine.
Instead all I’ll be able to taste now is the coffee she places on the table in front of me. She sits in the chair opposite me and sips her coffee, her gaze not leaving mine.
I can feel the lust for her rising in my pants and curse myself.
How dare she fucking tease me right now?
I have to say something or I'll do something else that I know isn't right.
"He's going to be ok Addison."
"You don't know that Quentin."
"We have to hope that he will be."
She lets out an 'mmm' that shamelessly sends a further jolt to my pants.
I pull my chair closer to hers, my knees brushing against hers.
"Come here,” I say wiping the tears from her eyes with my thumb.
As if we both know what the other is thinking we stand up at the same time and I envelope her in my arms in a tight hug. This hug feels different to the ones in the hospital, as I can feel her melting into me and it’s driving me crazy. I've never wanted her more.
She pulls back from the hug, her eyes glancing down to the desire in my pants.
“Quentin," she murmurs softly and teasingly.
God, I shouldn't want this so fucking bad right now.
But I do and when she suddenly presses her lips to mine in a fierce kiss I could damn explode. Her kiss is more than I'd ever imagined.
Her lips on mine make my whole body tingle and I never want to stop kissing her. To deepen the kiss I pull her body closer to mine, biting her lips and playing with her tongue.
She pulls back breathless.
“I'm sorry,” she says with a sexy tone in her voice.
"Don't be sorry for that.” I laugh, trying to hide how much I’d enjoyed it.
"Really?"
"Just fucking kiss me again Addison,” I demand.
She lets out a little moan, licking her lips teasingly. She’s driving me wild.
My eyes don't leave hers, even when she pulls her scrub top over her head, exposing her lacy bra.
Taking her cheeks in my palms I smash another kiss to her lips and curse myself for the fact that now I've kissed her again I’m not going to stop until she’s moaning my name whilst my dick is buried inside her.
Addison pulls away from my kiss, and begins fumbling with the buttons of my shirt. I have to question her as no doubt I want her but I have to be sure that she wants me.
“Addison, are you sure you want this?”
“Yes,” she says with a raspy tone, breathless from our hot kisses.
“You sure? You want me?”
“Yes, Quentin, I want you,” she announces dropping her scrub pants from her body to the floor.
I watch her lustfully as she steps out of them, and kicks her high heels off.
Fuck, she’s gorgeous.
Frantically, keeping my gaze on her I unbutton my shirt, discarding it to the floor. Underneath my bullet proof vest feels stifling all of a sudden, as she’s biting her lips as she watches me undress.
Pulling at the velcro of my vest I lift it over my head throwing it on the table beside us.
I’ve been shirtless in front of her before but now I feel more exposed than ever, especially when she reaches out to touch my bare chest with her palm and lets out a delightful giggle.
“Fuck Addison,” I groan.
She again moans and I need to have her now. Grabbing her around the waist I scoop her up, bridal style and stumble down the hallway.
She points towards her bedroom and as soon as we enter the overly girly room, I throw her body onto the bed, stretching over her to kiss her.
Leaving her lips, I start to kiss her neck, trailing kisses down towards her breasts, kissing the pink buds through the lace of her bra.
Her nipples rise to attention at the graze of my lips over them. Continuing to kiss down her torso, towards her lace panties, I put my thumb in the elastic to push them down her legs to the floor.
She’s clean shaven and I just want to drive into her waiting body, but also want to tease her more and enjoy every fucking second I have with her.
Plunging a finger into her body, I tease her, rubbing her clit to feel her desire increasing.
Stretching up to kiss her for a moment, my breath against her face I say, “Addison, please, I want you so bad.”
She sits up a little, reaching behind her back to unclasp her bra, tossing it aside without a care.
With her body fully exposed she’s even more breathtaking than I ever thought she’d be.
I’d fantasised about being with her so many times, but actually seeing her naked and pleasuring her is a thousand times better than any fantasy.
“Tell me you want me Addison.”
She smiles, giggling. “I want you Quentin.”
I fumble with my belt, shoving my pants and boxers down my legs. She grabs my length in her grasp, causing me to gasp.
“Do you have a…?”
She nods, reaching to open the drawer beside the bed, extracting a shiny square packet and holding up to me between her fingers. Ripping the packet open with her teeth, she stretches it onto my dick.
I push her back down on the bed again kissing her hard, my throbbing dick pressing into her torso.
Still kissing her frantically I thrust into her waiting body, pulling in and out slowly.
Oh fuck, oh fuck, she feels so fucking good.
I break the kiss, looking into her eyes as I push further into her body. She starts moaning, her hips bucking underneath me, meeting mine with each thrust. I can feel my climax building and want nothing more than to hear her moan my name as she comes for me.
“Addison, I want you to come for me.”
As if my words are a cue, her body begins to twitch. She throws her arms behind her head and her climax is strong as she screams, “Oh Quentin, fuck!”
Her juice squirting over me drives me to a hard climax, filling the latex inside her. I collapse against her bare chest, panting, but completely satisfied.
Pulling out of her body I feel like something has changed between us. She’s still looking at me lustfully and it makes me desperately want to fuck her again, but I don’t want to be greedy.
I’d settle for holding her body against me, and kissing her again.
Standing up I discard the condom in the bin by the door, stepping out of my pants still around my ankles. She’s gotten comfortable in the bed, and is still gazing at me like she’d honestly enjoyed every second as much as I had.
I yank my shoes off diving at the bed to kiss her and pull her close to me under the covers. Having her close after finally being with her feels like a dream come true. I’m in a complete daze and know I have to tell her how I feel about her.
Brushing a stray hair from her cheek I muse in her ear, “Addison, I love you.”
She turns her head towards me. I don’t expect an answer, instead I’m thinking she’s going to kiss me, but the lustful look that was in her eyes is gone and has been replaced with shock. I’d fucked up, by admitting my feelings.
“I’m sorry Quentin,” she states.
I don’t want to her say what I know are going to be her next words. I’ve honestly just had some of the best sex of my life and she’s still going to reject me.
“I don’t feel that way about you.”
Her words are like a knife to my heart, even though I knew that was exactly what she was going to say.
She’ss still hung up on my brother, and it hurts so bad, even though I know her rejection was inevita
ble. Anger rises in my chest. I’m seething.
I just can’t believe her, don’t want to believe her.
Getting out of the bed, I grab my clothes from the floor and turning to leave I spit back at her, “I can’t believe you Addison, after what we just did, you still don’t fucking feel anything for me.”
“I’m sorry Quentin, I just can’t.”
“Yeah, whatever. But thanks for the best sex ever.”
She starts to respond but the words freeze on her tongue. Tugging my pants on, I take one last look at her sitting naked on the bed before running down the hallway to grab my vest and shirt. I can’t get out of her house fast enough.
Feelings of regret are overtaking me. I’m regretting telling her I love her and I’m having mixed feelings about sleeping with her too.
I’d wanted nothing more than to have her for years, and I can’t deny it was absolutely fucking amazing, like I’d said to her, the best sex ever, but I had to open my fucking mouth and tell her how I feel.
I could have had her again if I’d not told her how I feel. But now, as I trudge back to hospital to hopefully find my brother out of surgery and alive, I can’t help but feel as though I’ve completely lost any chance of being with Addison for real, forever.
I’ll probably never get the chance to be with her again, unless my brother is no longer with us and she’d again take comfort in my arms and I can’t bear to think about that.
(45) Savannah
Even though I'd told Quentin I was going to be fine waiting in the hospital alone I’m not. Pacing up and down in the waiting area is doing nothing to calm my nerves.
The last few hours are a complete blur and the image of the bullet in the air flying towards Hunter is still so vivid in my mind, his body falling to the ground is something that will be possibly forever etched into my mind. The pain of possibly losing him is far worse than the pain Dante inflicted on me.
I can't believe Dante is gone. Hearing the shot he inflicted on himself was a shock to the ears but at the same time a sense of relief washed over me. I feel guilty for being happy he'd shot himself but I’m glad he did as I’d not have to endure months of court time, testifying against him for all I'd endured at his hands.
