by M. Barnette
"Look at me, Jason,” she murmured, her hands caressing over the Dragon's body. This was who she really wanted. Bells. Jason. The Dragon. No one else. “You're my boy, remember? You said you were."
The eyes returned to her face, his gaze seething, aglow, living flame. She could see the outline of the Dragon surrounding him, the gold edges aqua scales dancing in and out of her vision. Nikki wanted to look at the Dragon, to step back and take in the whole sight of what her lover was, she wanted to see the Dragon in its entirety. But she didn't dare break eye contact with him, and she knew it. He was seeing something as he looked at her, and it seemed to be calming him.
* * * *
A gentle golden light encompassed Nikki. A familiar glow that soothed him and tamed the savage anger boiling inside his soul; the Dragon raging free, unchecked, consumed by rage. But the murderous fury was fading. Her hand was touching his face. Her voice spoke to him through the madness of rage that had unleashed the Beast's power.
Female. His female. The one who had laid her chains on him.
He could hear her voice, sweet, soothing, reasoning with him, speaking to the man, not the Dragon. The Dragon heard her, too, listened to her, craved her slightest touch, her scent. The Dragon wanted Nikki like an addict craving a fix. And it was the Dragon that was in control.
A gentle hand stroked down his cheek and he leaned into the touch, feeling the quieting nature of her soul lapping at the shores of the anger, draining it away, bit by bit. He took a small step closer to her, resting his cheek on her silken hair, the sweet rose scent he loved filling his senses. He could detect the strong musk of the other man on her, but he chose to ignore it, letting himself be lost for the moment in Nikki's presence.
He was totally unaware of Corwin, of anything else.
For him only Nikki mattered.
And that was a mistake.
He felt the pain, but it didn't totally register.
"Corwin, NO!” Nikki screamed, trying to stop the engineer from stabbing the smaller man a second time, but the blade drove in deeply, rising to strike a third time.
* * * *
It was like a slow motion nightmare. Nikki looking up just in time to see Corwin driving her biggest kitchen knife into Bells's back, yanking it free to repeat the attack, the blade finding flesh a third time before she punched the bigger man, hitting him in the forearm, but failing to make him drop the knife. “CORWIN, NO!” she screamed, seeing what was coming and knowing there was nothing she could do to stop it.
Bells started to turn. Corwin thrust the blade at the smaller man, and Nikki stepped into the path of the knife, not by intention, tripping on the tail of the sheet wrapped around her.
It didn't hurt, but there was blood on the floor and Corwin, eyes wild with abject terror and killing hate, tried to stab Bells again.
They bumped into her and she stumbled, falling onto her couch. There was an incredible flash of light, bright as being at ground zero of a lightning strike. In the dazzling afterimage she couldn't see anything, but at least there hadn't been a boom of thunder, just a furious roar and a scream that was cut off ominously short.
She felt herself being picked up, carried. By the scent of leather and sandalwood she knew it was Bells but there were still pinpoints of light occluding her vision.
"I've got you, Nikki.” It was the voice she loved, she was in the arms of the man she trusted.
"You're hurt."
"Hell with me. He hurt you!” his voice was a velvet growl.
"You killed him, didn't you?"
He put her down on the bed. She could tell it was her spare room because the room lacked the rose scent that filled her own bedroom. When he didn't reply she knew the reason and closed her eyes. The night that had started out with the gift of a ceramic kitten had ended in pain, hate and death. Where had it all gone so wrong?
The answer to that was simple. Corwin hadn't accepted it when she'd told him what he was doing scared her. He had continued holding her down, pinning her to the bed as he fucked her rather than let her have her hands free as she wanted. He'd been so determined to prove that he wasn't Roderik he'd duplicated the things Roderik had done, thinking that would help her see the difference. But it had only made him seem cruel and domineering when he'd refused to heed her pleas for freedom. Instead of showing a difference between himself and Roderik he'd all but proved to Nikki that he was almost as bad as the man she hated. She should have realized from the way he'd pressured her to sleep with him, move in with him, that he was not the kind of man she could have a relationship with. And maybe, on some subconscious level she had understood what he would be like, otherwise why would she have refused for so long?
Because you still want Jason, her mind replied, making a valid point. He's never pressured you, he's just let things happen. Even that first time, he didn't insist on anything. He kissed you and apologized, he let you set the pace and decide what you wanted to do with him, not the other way around. He submitted to you.
Bells took the bloody sheet off of her, looking at the cut. It was shallow, barely a scratch, but it had initially bled like a much more serious injury.
The blond pressed the sheet to her belly, and the blood stopped.
That was when she noticed he was shaking, trembling.
"Bells?” Her vision cleared, the glare obscuring everything was fading.
He swept her up into his embrace and started crying, stunning her into shocked silence as he whispered, “I almost lost you. I almost lost you, Nikki."
She put her arms around him and let him cry, amazed at his reaction and realizing that maybe he'd had reasons other than not wanting her for staying away. Seeing the tears in his eyes now, compounded with the fierce protective reaction he'd shown to what Corwin had done, Nikki finally understood why he'd left her. The Dragon and its killing rage was a danger. Not to Nikki, but the potential existed that it could kill someone, like it had killed Corwin tonight, not just for what he'd done to Nikki, but because the man had gone mad with fear and attacked Bells.
Or maybe it wasn't what set the Dragon off, she pondered. It was as if he went mad for a moment after Corwin cut me by accident. Is it only me that sets the Dragon off? She thought back to their time together and realized the only time she'd actually seen any sign of the Immortal Beast had been when they'd made love. She was the one that triggered the Dragon, setting it free, and that explained everything, even his reluctance to make love once they'd reached Colby, his moving out. While they were alone there was no danger to other people. In town they were surrounded by humans, people that he must feel he was a danger too because of his involvement with her, and rather than risk hurting anyone, he'd ended their relationship.
The tears told her how much the decision hurt him. It was a reaction that spoke to her of more than simple lust. Men didn't cry over lust. But she'd known quite a few to cry over lost love. Hawk, who'd cried when he'd told her about his dead family. Chet, when he'd told them how he'd found his parents dead, in one another's arms. Then he'd cried again when they'd found those old people in a similar embrace.
It was a lot of insight into the heart and soul of the man she loved. He didn't want to risk the lives of others for his own happiness. But, somehow, when she'd been scared and hurting under Corwin's manhandling he'd known and come to protect her, the Dragon escaping his control to kill: which was the very thing he'd feared.
"Shhh ... Jason. I'm okay. Shhh...” she murmured to him, feeling the violence of the tremors that were shaking him. She didn't know what was causing them, whether it was emotion running wild, or the result of the Dragon getting loose and his fight to contain it, but he was shaking badly and she found it disturbing. The way his muscles moved reminded her of mild seizures of some type.
"It's okay, Jason. Relax, please relax."
"Nikki, I could have lost you.” He kissed her with a desperate passion that took her breath away and drove all rational thought from her mind.
But only for an instant.
She broke the kiss, not because she didn't want him, but because she had tasted blood in his mouth and knew his injuries, while they couldn't be fatal, must be serious, and that went a long way to explaining the why his body was shaking. He was in deep shock. A look at his dilated pupils, the pallor of his face added to her conviction. He was Immortal, so he wouldn't die. But even an Immortal was weakened from being hurt, losing blood. Shock couldn't be good either and was concerned that it could slow down the healing process.
"You're in shock, Jason. Let me see how badly you're hurt."
"I'll live,” he replied, his voice was harsh but she knew the growling tone. Desire. He wanted her, and didn't care how badly injured he was. She, on the other hand, did.
"I won't make love with a man who's a bleeding wreck, Jason. Now calm down and let me look at you."
He subsided and she got him out of his jacket and ruined shirt, noticing that the damned jacket didn't show any signs of damage despite the fact the knife had punctured through it. While that realization made her wonder what the hell was going on with that, she had more pressing things to deal with at the moment.
The stab wounds were hideously deep, her trained eyes seeing indications that two had gone deep enough to puncture a lung. “My God,” she breathed in horror.
If he'd been human he would have been dying, or already dead, and he'd carried her into the bedroom. She wasn't sure Hawk could have done that with similar injuries.
She checked his gaze again and found that the eyes which had blazed with cobalt flame were dulling, either the Dragon going dormant or his body starting to feel the effects of so much lost blood.
"Lay face down on the bed for me, Bells."
Instead he tried to kiss her again.
"Jason!” She put the crack of authority in her voice, “Do you want to be punished?'
He gave her a quirky grin “No, Mistress Nikki.” Obediently he lie down.
"Stay!"
"Yes, Mistress Nikki.” He was still smiling at her, but Nikki noted that all the fire had gone from his eyes and they were dulled, whether from pain, bloodloss, shock, or a combination of the three she didn't know, nor did it really matter. He needed medical help.
With the blizzard raging outside she couldn't even have him moved to the hospital, and she only had very basic medial supplies in the house. She'd to her best to make him comfortable and keep him in bed for a while until his remarkable healing faculties repaired the damage.
She came back to find him asleep exactly the way she'd left him.
Cleaning the sanguinary mess away she saw he was already healing, the shallowest of the three wounds taking on the appearance of an injury more than a day old. It had been less than twenty minutes since he'd been wounded, and a chill crept over her.
How old did an Immortal have to be to heal that fast?
She didn't know, but she was planning to ask him once he was awake again.
* * * *
Much to Nikki's shock, Corwin wasn't dead, but he was badly hurt. Bruised, an arm broken, his shoulder dislocated, a knee wrenched and badly swollen. And the strangest part of all, his entire body was covered with what looked to be a nasty sunburn and wasn't, which left her wondering what that bright flash had been when the men were fighting.
Bells himself stayed asleep for the duration of the blizzard, only waking briefly to let Nikki clean up the bed and shove him into a tub to wash the blood away. She managed to get a few swallows of soup into him before he went back to sleep, which, she decided pragmatically, was for the best since Corwin was stark raving terrified of the Immortal.
As soon as they could get out of the house she had some of the men come and help her get Corwin to the hospital for treatment, not only of his injuries but of his rattled mind as well.
When Bells finally did wake up the town was so badly bogged down in snow that his services as one of three men able to drive a snowplow were put into use. Just as easily as he'd returned, Bells vanished from her life, going to his own apartment rather than coming to her house at the end of the day as she hoped he would.
This time she was determined not to let him drift away. Not after what had happened. She refused to let him go. Bells was her boy, and that was the end of the story as far as she was concerned. She just had to get it through his blond head and wasn't above using his smaller head to assure she had his attention.
* * * *
Nikki wanted to see him, but Bells was doing whatever he could to stay away from her. Much as he wanted her, the Dragon was too dangerous. His only consolation was that Corwin had survived his attack, probably because, at the last instant as the dragonfire started to burn the man, he'd realized what he was doing and stopped himself.
Whether the man's mind would ever recover was another story, and he genuinely felt bad about that, too, even though Corwin had made the foolish mistakes that had brought on his current predicament. A man did not treat a woman like that. Not ever. And it still angered him that Corwin could have been so stupid to believe holding her down, making her confront a fear head-on with such ruthlessness would ‘fix’ the problem. Instead he'd reinforced it.
He finished the box of bullets he'd been making and sat back in his chair, stretching the stiffness out of his shoulders. Twelve hours of work, twelve hours of doing a job that required little conscious thought from him had left him too much time to think about her when he knew he didn't dare resume their relationship. What he'd done to Corwin had driven that home.
Freed from the tenuous control of his own will, the Dragon was far too dangerous. All it would take was a few moments of unleashed rage and Colby and her citizens would be nothing but burning buildings and ash on the wind.
Even if he had to confront Roderik—and it was a possibility—he wouldn't dare let the Dragon loose. Not with so many people in the vicinity at risk. He'd done it once, and carried the stain of the deaths on his soul even if he couldn't fully remember the incident. That, he knew, was a mercy because so many people had died. Innocents. Women. Children.
It was something he could never allow to occur, shouldn't have let happen the first time, not even if it meant his own death.
But he owed Nikki an explanation. Especially after he'd cried in front of her the way he'd done, making a damned fool of himself. Nothing new there. He'd done that with other women before Nikki, and most assuredly she wouldn't be the last one to see him being an overly emotional moron.
After so many centuries, though, he should have gotten over his need to be with a woman—or out of desperation, another man—but he hadn't, and by now he was coming to the realization that he just wasn't designed to be alone constantly. Maybe it was that the Dragon didn't like it. Or perhaps they both lacked the elements of personality that would keep them away from other people. Those were questions he didn't have any answers to, and probably never would.
A hand fell onto his shoulder. “Hey, bossman, why don't you go get some rest?” a woman's voice suggested.
He knew the voice, the scent. Alice, one of the munitions specialists from artillery. He glanced up over his shoulder and gave the woman a shrug. She was in her late thirties, pretty, with sparkling blue eyes and luxurious curves. “I'm all right,” he told her.
"Bells, you've been here since seven yesterday morning."
"Yesterday?” he glanced at his watch, which clearly said it was, indeed, seven in the morning, not seven in the evening as he'd thought a moment ago.
"Go home!” she insisted. “Or better yet, go see Doc Nikki."
"I umm..."
She pulled on his arm, “Go home, Bells. Don't make me get Rudy and Sam to drag you there. It looks bad to the folks here when our boss has to be dragged out of the plant twice in one week."
He actually gave her a bit of a sheepish grin, “Yeah, I guess it does."
"See you tomorrow."
"Hey, before I go, how are the tank shells coming?"
"Only a few hours off production schedule now. If the weather holds we'
ll make up the lost time, if not,” she shrugged, “we'll have what we have when Roderik gets here and do our best with it."
Bells nodded, the silver in his hair ringing softly.
"Leave. Now,” she ordered. “And if I find out you've stopped by the office to check production I'll have them lock you into your apartment.” She grinned, a bright glitter in her eyes, “Or maybe I'll just get my kids to sit on you."
"Woah, don't scare me like that.” The woman had six kids, the oldest a sixteen-year-old that topped the blond by a head.
"Go home!"
He nodded and left.
Passing by Nikki's house he paused, went up onto her porch. It was quiet, the woman either gone or not awake yet.
The desire to see her was strong, but so was his control. He walked away from Nikki's house with a hard knot in his chest and need heating his groin.
Chapter Twelve
Winter ground on, days passing faster than anyone liked. They had so much work to do, and the occasional whiteouts that kept everyone near their homes didn't help. Projects fell behind, especially the work the defense group was handling. With the munitions building at the far end of town, the blizzards prevented people from getting there to work on the guns and ammunition they'd need to repel the Rangers when they arrived after the thaw.
On days that it was clear and sunny they worked like dogs, putting in sixteen hour days. They never got ahead of their production goals, but they didn't stay far behind them either. Bells worked with a will and by the end of January he and his team had one tank operational. It would give them an edge they desperately needed against the heavily armed Rangers and their APCs. The chopper defied their best efforts, though, and they were forced to scrap the project because their machine shop just couldn't make some of the parts they needed.
Not to say life was idyllic, but it was the best life Nikki had experienced since the Collapse. Her only regret was that Dal, Chet, and Anya hadn't lived to see it.
Jim, one of the senior members of the town militia, came back and reported that the pass was clear, no more snow blocking the road, though the road itself was going to need the usual repairs to patch winter damage caused by thawing and refreezing over the last few days.
