“Please, Dominus,” she managed. “I need you.”
She saw him waver, but he closed his eyes with a shake of his head. He guided her hand faster, pressing harder on her clit, feeling the energy in the room build, ready to explode and complete the ritual.
“Open your eyes,” she said. “Just look at me with those incredible blue eyes.”
He did what she wanted this time. “Let go, Lorayna. Bring the light.”
Their gazes stayed locked until she could no longer hold back. She was caught in a hopeless spiral that drew her in until there was nothing but Dominus, nothing but the light and the pleasure and the god who was calling it forth.
Lorayna caught her breath, bit her lip, and stiffened. She tried to hold back in that last moment, wanting to extend this time with him, savor every throb of exquisite desire before giving in to the inevitable, but it was too late. With much effort, she kept her eyes on him while the climax made her cry out. Muffled through the lip she was still biting, the sound filled the room and, and orgasm swept her away. Dominus didn’t let up, however, and together they kept rubbing her pussy, milking out the spasms of pleasure that would erupt into light any moment now.
Water sloshed over the edge of the tub while she writhed in ecstasy, grinding her pubic bone against both their hands and moaning like a wild thing. But no light came out of her, nor any sense that she had lost anything, except perhaps her mind.
* * *
Dominus pulled back and rose, with some issue considering the stiff bulge in his pants, and stared down at her.
“Did it work?” she asked, panting as she sat herself upright. “Is it over?”
His pulse pounded through his veins. This was wrong. There had been no blinding release of power as it flowed out to the universe. When her motions slowed, he used his other sight to see that she burned brighter than ever. She had held onto the light after all.
Dominus shook his head. “The light still clings within you. You did not release it.”
The notion rattled him. Never had this happened, not in all his years overseeing the Yuletide. He hadn’t even imagined it possible.
“Perhaps it was because you wished to keep the light,” he said, more to himself. “You fought against letting it go.”
Her dreamy smile faded. “No, I promise I didn’t. I tried to hold back at the end, but just because I wanted the pleasure to last a little longer. I gave myself over, really I did. You just saw the truth yourself. I didn’t exactly have any inhibitions.”
Thoughts whirred through his mind in panic. This couldn’t be. Everything had been done to ensure success—and then some. With his encouragement, she had used the herbs, nurtured the light, even set out an offering and hung the sacred mistletoe, inviting his presence. The ritual had taken place in water, which was a bit unusual. Still, the water element shouldn’t have had any effect on the outcome. The only other difference this time was a major one.
He had shown himself to her.
He frowned. That alone should not have interfered with the rite. Long ago, in the time when humans had full knowledge of the gods who walked among them, such rituals took place with the women quite aware of who they were giving themselves to. Lorayna had accepted his presence, or else she wouldn’t have so readily indulged in pleasure. So what had gone wrong?
She rose from the bath like a siren, water streaming over her stomach and down her thighs. “What now? Do we try again?”
“I do not know. This has not happened before.”
Lorayna stepped out of the tub, and again, Dominus’s hand shot out to steady her.
“Maybe you should take a more active role this time,” she said.
His chest tightened, but he shook his head. “That is not permitted.”
She shrugged and picked up her towel, wrapping herself in the fluffy white cloth. “Neither is me keeping the light. But I guess I get to have it after all.”
He took hold of her upper arms. “You cannot. Understand this. No human can contain that amount of sun energy within them forever.”
A flicker of fear registered in her gaze, even more so than when he’d first revealed himself.
Dominus let go of her, feeling a stab of guilt at the red marks his grip left behind on her flesh. “I apologize. I did not mean to alarm you, but we need this to succeed, for a few reasons.”
Without another word, she turned and strode from the room. He stood there, staring after her, not sure whether she meant to return.
Oh, this night was rapidly unhinging his rational senses, hardly a normal reaction to a ritual he had performed for a thousand seasons. True, watching women pleasure forth their light held a certain thrall, and he would often spill his seed soon after returning from helping a bearer achieve climax. But watching sultry Lorayna with her eyes closed, arching her back with her legs spread while in the throes of self-pleasure, a swell of emotion had overtaken him that he struggled to contain. He had been lucky to make it through the ritual without losing control of his seed, let alone trying to make it back to his realm. A teasing whisper had echoed through his mind, taunting him for not responding to her request that he kiss her. Selfish need urged him to pull her beneath his body, slake the months of desire he’d felt for her. If only she knew how badly he’d wanted to give her what she wanted, show her what she had come to mean to him. She was not just another sun bearer, but a woman he longed to hold in his arms, plunge himself inside, and declare his own.
For that was the truth, there was no denying it. Attending his female had been a fool’s errand, and every visit, every extra glimpse he had granted himself, had only doomed him to crave more of her. He didn’t merely want to ensure a successful passage. He wanted her. Every word of the ancient recitations that he’d uttered to welcome the light had held an echo of personal longing in them, making mockery of ritual. The words were a lie.
He pulled away from his thoughts when she did not return, and he followed his curiosity to the hallway. There, he found the towel abandoned on the floor just outside the door to her bedroom.
He had been in this room before—on numerous occasions, in fact—but this time he entered with a wary caution. Or rather, he stopped short just inside the doorway when he spotted her. Lorayna was lounging naked on her bed, lying on her side facing him. The dip of her waist and gentle swell of a hip was clearly visible, but she had cleverly tucked the blue coverlet against her so that the rest of her feminine allure was hidden. All except that luscious mouth, of course, curved up into a smile that magnetized. And those dark eyes, so knowing—too knowing for a woman who was a virgin from the touch of human men.
So many times he had come to her while she lay in this bed, innocent and dreaming. Now he knew exactly what she wanted, something he had only allowed himself to imagine in moments when he had no strength left to resist. Every inch of him wanted it, too, and his cock strained in such tight desperation that he felt the prickle of sweat break out over his body.
“What are you doing?” he asked her.
“Waiting, and not at all patiently. What took you so long? I’m getting cold.” She rolled her hip forward and pressed her groin into the mattress. “Touch me, Dominus. Warm me up.”
“That is not how the ritual is done.”
“Screw the ritual.”
He blinked at the words. His balls tightened, all too eager for him to do just that. But he had to stay strong. She was considered a pure, sacred being, as much as a human could be, until she gave birth to the energy now churning like a maelstrom inside her. Tendrils of that light snaked forth in a wild dance now, adding a coronal glow to every curve and each strand of her hair.
“Please hurry,” she said, and the gasp she let out mid-sentence gave away her anxiety. She could sense it, he knew, feel how the light was growing, pushing its way out, needing her to release it and spare her body the suffering that immense power would cause.
His feet were moving toward the bed, and when she gave him a victorious smile, he growled and tugged
the coverlet flat, exposing her to his hunger. Her nipples were already peaked and waiting, and he ached to pull them into his mouth one by one and graze them with his teeth until she cried out for more. He was losing it, and part of him didn’t even care. He wanted her.
He loved her.
A shiver passed over him, a rare thing for a god whose greatest power came during the chill of winter. He pushed his pants down, feeling the torturous thrill of soft doeskin sliding over his raging erection. Lorayna sucked in a breath of the sight of him, his cock purpled and ridged with veins as it pointed straight at her. She reached for him, but he evaded the touch that might well drive him into insanity and instead, slid onto the bed beside her.
He didn’t mean to do it, not any of it, until it had already happened. His lips were on hers, seeking the depths of her mouth with his tongue. She gasped and responded, pressing her body to him, enveloping him with the power of Yuletide sun, burning them both with passion and hot need. His hand slid down her waist and around to cup her ass, kneading the smooth, supple flesh while he pulled her tighter against him. She ground her pubic bone against his erection, and he grunted like a forest animal rutting a female shamelessly inside her den. That was what he was doing, wasn’t it? What the hell was he doing?
Dominus broke off the kiss, leaving her panting. “I’m sorry. Forgive me.”
“I don’t want to forgive you. I want to fuck you.”
He made a fist to keep himself from grabbing her. “Stop toying with me, Lorayna. I cannot take your purity until you complete the ritual.” He swallowed at those words. He shouldn’t take her at all, not even afterward. It was not how things were done. But he knew they were beyond such restraint now.
“I did complete the ritual, and it failed. The truth is, I’m not even cold. I can feel the heat rising in me. It burns, Dominus. I’m scared.”
“So release it. Let me help you.”
“Help me feel what it’s like to have a man inside me. Now, before it’s too late.”
“I’ll spoil you.”
“I’m already spoiled.” She ground against him and took hold of his cock, squeezing it until he moaned in frustration. She put him between her thighs and slid him back and forth along her pussy lips. “I have a confession to make to my god,” she whispered, dry fucking his cock. “I’ve felt you with me so many times at night, and it made me long to become a woman. Your energy, all that male power, made me dream of you. I hung the mistletoe in hopes of that masculine power coming to me again. I dreamed of a god taking me in his arms. But you, the real you, is even sexier than my fantasy.”
He groaned and pulled her on top of him, kissing her until his lips burned with Yule fire. With what he knew to be the most final of his mistakes with Lorayna, he reached down to move his cock head against her wet, slick entrance. Then slowly, he pushed inside of her.
The power was raging now, every inch of her aglow with the sun’s own aura. It was too late, and his heart pounded with the knowledge that he was about to lose himself inside her before losing her forever. She would perish with that energy, and it was his fault. He hadn’t been able to help her release it in time. He would be forever doomed to relive this memory, sliding deep inside the sun before it destroyed the woman he loved. Or perhaps he wouldn’t have to remember it. Perhaps the fire would take pity and consume them both.
Despite the dark turn of his thoughts, he could not stop his body from taking what it wanted from her. He thrust his hips upward while she pressed down, letting out guttural moans that were part pleasure, part pain, but grinding her body harder, faster. Her breasts bounced over his face, and he pulled her closer, taking in a nipple and sliding his tongue over the hard bud. She stiffened and called out his name. He felt her nails dig into his shoulders, and the stinging burn was not merely from the sharp points rending his flesh. Her fire entered his body through the broken skin, scorching him, but the heat drove his lust for her higher.
Her eyes were aflame now, no longer dark, but lit with white-gold orbs like miniature suns. She pulled one of his hands around to grab her breast and kissed him again, wild and free as a winter storm, and he fucked her faster, feeling the inevitable build, knowing he was about to spill inside her.
Lorayna stiffened up and bit down on his tongue, and as the searing pain mingled with the tang of blood, she reared back and let out a yell. She was climaxing now, and he was right with her. His eyes closed while his balls emptied themselves well within her depths, overtaken by pangs of incredible ecstasy. Release washed over him while he felt the white-hot heat, and he could see through his closed eyelids that the world had exploded in brilliant light.
He shouldn’t have opened his eyes then, but when he did there was nothing but golden fire around them. He could feel Lorayna, knew her weight was still on top of him, but he could not see her through the surge of energy. Never in a thousand seasons had he been witness to such power, such majestic fire in the birth of Yuletide. Without even seeing it, he knew that the whole cottage would be ablaze with the energy of a great season of light coming forth to greet a new year.
Suddenly, her weight was gone, and his heart wrenched sideways in his chest. Had the power taken her, reduced her body to nothing? Was she no more than a memory to the universe now?
“Lorayna?” he called out. “Lorayna!”
The soft, peaceful sigh in reply came from beside him, and though his vision was still awash in light, he reached out and felt her on the bed next to him. He let out his own sigh and gathered her in his arms, nuzzling her neck and stroking her. The energy was thick and alive while he ran his fingers through her hair, drawing out the last bits of power. The light began to dim, and his sight returned gradually, making out details of the room and the woman nestled beside him, resting a delicate hand on his hip.
“I think it worked,” she whispered after a time.
He couldn’t help the laugh that spilled out of him. “I would say so.”
She snuggled closer, and his heart pounded. “I guess I just needed more of your direct attention to be able to let go.”
Perhaps so. He had attended her himself all these months, adding his energy to her own. Maybe that was why his body had been the key to unlocking her power.
Lorayna appeared limp now, and he could sense that she was completely spent and exhausted. This was as it should be, as it would be for any woman who had just travailed to bring forth life. He had to admit, the power of that release had taken a toll on him as well.
Lorayna’s breathing deepened, and just before he knew she had drifted off to sleep, she murmured, “I love you, Dominus. Thank you for being the one.”
His eyes widened, staring out into the darkness while she slept against him. He contemplated those words, coupled with the depths of his own misguided steps throughout her preparation, until the first light of a breaking dawn paled against the bedroom window.
All over the worlds, in this realm and the next, those who kept the old ways were bearing witness to that dawn, bowing to the sun, dancing, and rejoicing over the return of the light half of the year. Yet none would truly understand what had taken place, or what it had just cost the god of Yule.
With a pang that soured in his gut, Dominus eased himself out from under Lorayna’s sheets. He pulled on his pants and went in search of the pendant, which he found in the bathroom. The necklace dangled between his fingers on his way back down the hall, where he spotted the towel she had dropped outside her door. He picked it up, holding it while he watched her sleep. The small, contented smile playing on her lips tugged at his chest. Her profile became clearer as the dawn brightened, as did his resolve. He had no choice.
Dominus hung the towel over his shoulder while he tied on the pendant. With one final glance at the beauty curled under the coverlet, he swallowed a thick lump and took hold of the veil charm. Then he phased out of Lorayna’s existence.
* * *
There was an interesting blend of sensations when higher brain function began filtering b
ack into Lorayna’s thoughts the next morning. Her body ached in strange and new ways, evidence that the previous night’s dream had been anything but a figment of her subconscious. Even her face ached, and as she came to with her eyes still closed, she realized she had been smiling in her sleep—and apparently for some time, judging on how sore and stiff her jaw felt. A numbing fatigue covered her as thickly as the blanket she had pulled up to her chin. Another sensation hovered just out of reach, a warning that her awakening might take a darker turn if she thought too closely about the state of things.
Then it hit her. She was lying in the middle of her bed, not scrunched off to one side with a certain pair of arms around her.
She popped open one eye, which was pointed in the direction of her bedroom door. The room was still, too still, without even the telltale sound of breathing to give away the existence of anyone in the room. No presence lingered, no touch of pine scent. The thick layer of purpose she had sensed for months no longer hung in the air.
“Dominus?” she said quietly.
She didn’t expect an answer, nor did she get one.
She pushed herself upright, rubbing sleep from her eyes as she looked around the room. She was alone, in a palpable sense that hadn’t happened to her for some time. Not since Beltane, when her life had apparently been turned upside down by a decision she’d made on the cusp of a twilight sleep.
Sunlight blazed through the curtains, announcing the return of the sun whose rising she had missed. She had done her own Yule ritual, celebrated the light of the sun in a way she had never dreamed. She had given Dominus what he’d wanted, and now he was gone. The dawn of Yule was over, and so was her time with the being who no longer saw any use for her. The god of Yule had left her without so much as a “Thanks for helping the universe.”
Dominus: God of Yule Page 4
