I try to shake off this unknown feeling that’s taking over and leave my room. I meet Raya on the stairs, coming up to help me get ready.
“It’s okay, Raya, I’m done.” I mumble trying to get past her before she wants to do my hair or put me in something more formal.
“But, Miss Willamina…” She starts gently.
“I’m just going to wear this today.” I plead, trying to get the need to be simple for the day across through my eyes.
She sighs. “You wanted to go see Miss Amelia today, didn’t you?”
I nod, holding my breath. She holds my gaze for a long time before saying, “Let me go get you a piece of toast so you can get out of here before your mother sees you.”
I thank her but she’s already setting off down the stairs. I like Raya; she just seems to get things, even though she doesn’t say a lot of what she’s thinking. You can see the things that go through her naturally intelligent mind, through her eyes if you look, but not many people do. But just as I’m thinking how good she is to me, she’s back with my breakfast. I smile, thank her again and I’m out the door.
I eat my toast while my pod is driving me to Mia’s. Raya remembered that I like apple butter on mine because she always makes Georgie and I’s breakfast during the school year. That’s another thing I like about Raya, you only have to tell her things once, she’ll never forget.
I reach the center of town and look out my window to watch the world go by. There are businesses everywhere, all owned by us and run by Workers. I can see some of them through the windows as I pass by, heads downs, helping customers. Most of the customers at this time of day are women since the men are at their jobs, some bankers, accountants, or the highly sought after position of government employee. That’s what my father is. I don’t know exactly what he does in the government and neither does anyone else, other than the employees he works with. It’s all very confidential, Mother doesn’t even know, not that she really cares anyway. As long as she possesses the status of a government employee’s wife, she’s perfectly content.
The pod comes to the very center of town where it makes a right. The layout of our town is simple. If you start at the dividing gate, which no one ever does because no one goes that close to the other side, you will find nothing but empty fields full of dying grass, or so we’re told. But if you keep going you’ll find a road, and if you go even farther, you’ll start seeing businesses, restaurants and shops, and slowly there will be more, and more, and more until, BANG, just like that you’re in the center of town. And if you’re still on that main road, you’ll come to a three way cross roads fairly soon, and this is the very middle of everything. The road that leads directly back will take you to the residential area for all the government’s employees. This is where my family lives and these are the nicest houses in town. If you take the road going left you’ll come to residential area for everyone else, this is where Mia lives. If you take the road going right you’ll end up on a very long road trip to the factories. The factories make everything that we need and are run by supervised Workers of all ages. The Workers that come to live at the factories are chosen because they are the strongest and most valuable from the other side of the gate. But they’re trained to follow orders. They send home their pay to their families and eat and sleep at the factories.
Since I’m coming from the government houses, that means the other houses are on my right instead of left, so that’s where I go. Not long afterwards I pull into Mia’s long driveway and pop out of my pod.
I knock on the big white door and it’s opened by their butler, Samuel, who’s getting on in years. I’m always amazed that he can get to the door so fast.
“Good morning, Miss Willamina,” He greets me. “You are here to visit Miss Amelia, I presume?” I think when you’re selected to become a butler there’s a class on speaking exquisitely that you have to pass before they let you come and serve a family. I think this because our family’s butler and every other butler I’ve ever met talks the same way.
But before I can reply, Mia is bounding down the stairs toward me. She runs up to me and gives me the biggest hug, like she hasn’t seen me in a year instead of the three days it’s actually been. I’m not surprised, she does this every time.
“You know, I had a feeling you’d come over today!” She says happily. The problem with being the daughter of a government employee is that visits from those outside of the government are frowned upon if they start happening too often. It’s not a formal rule, it’s just generally known. I remember when Mother first told me about it, I was crushed. Luckily, those in the government can pay visits to those who are not as often as they wish. Mia and I have wondered what the point of this rule is for years, but no one wants to give us a straight answer.
We run up the stairs as fast as we can, something we’ve been doing since our very first play date when we were six. It’s sort of a race, the one who gets to the top first wins, but we never keep score past the last race. Up in her room we start to talk about everything and nothing. Not in the way Mother and her friends talk though. Even when we talk about the unimportant, what we say comes from our hearts. Mia starts telling me about the daily antics of her three little brothers, who she claims are annoying, but I can tell she wouldn’t know what to do without them. I understand a little, even though I only have a sister, she’s a bit of a firecracker!
Mia is passionate about every aspect of her life. She can be excited and content and the next minute be furiously defending something small that she believes in. I think that’s one of the reasons we get along so well, I’m calm, she’s unpredictable.
“How was the luncheon?” She asks with a knowing smile. Her mother came, but she had soccer practice that day. Mia has always been good at sports; I can’t be athletic to save my life. Once, I tried to get onto the soccer team because they’re allowed to wear miniskirts and leggings, but I failed the tryouts miserably.
“How do you think it was?” I reply glumly.
“Hmm,” She scrunches up her forehead and pretends to think about it, slowly tapping her index finger to her chin. “Was it absolutely fantastic in every possible way and the best day of your entire life up to this point in time?” She proposes sarcastically. Her bright, stunningly blue eyes are lit up with pretend enthusiasm.
“Ha!” I laugh bitterly. “I wish! Actually, maybe I don’t wish that. Because if I were the type of person who found gossip parties fun, my current self wouldn’t be very impressed with my wish universe self.”
“Good thinking!” She agrees. “I guess that’s why they say careful what you wish for!”
“I guess so…” I watch her start absent mindedly braiding her long chocolaty hair. “Hey, Mia?” I begin.
“Uh huh?” She gives me her focus by piercing me with her intense gaze.
“Do you ever feel… like something’s not right?”
This time her forehead scrunches up for real. “What do you mean?”
“It’s just, I’ve always had this feeling inside of me, for as long as I can remember, but lately, it’s gotten stronger and I can’t help but feel that there’s something about the world or my life,” I pause, trying to make it make sense in my head. “That’s just not right. Or, it’s not right yet.” With her forehead still scrunched up, she stares at me, thinking hard about what to say, delving inside my mind with her eyes. Even having years of practice looking into her eyes, while her eyes looked into me, it’s still too much for me to take. I look down and wait for her to answer. Still, I don’t feel stupid for asking her, I know she’ll really think about what I’ve said and that she takes me seriously.
“Willa, I personally am not familiar with that feeling, but you are a wise and intelligent person who is very dear to me, so listen closely: If you have this feeling, trust yourself. Trust that you have it for a reason and trust that you will find out what that reason is. But be prepared, you won’t be satisfied until you’ve made the wrong a right, so don’t go searching for the wrong
unless you’re prepared to do whatever it takes to fix it.”
And that is why I love Mia.
Chapter Five
Nathan
I storm through the door and slam it behind me, shaking the entire house in the process. Everyone is at the table and they all look very surprised to see me home so early.
"Nathan!" My mother shouts, "For goodness sake, the baby is asleep!" I walk right past without acknowledging she’d spoken. I can't talk to anyone else today. I just need to be alone.
I swing into my room and slam that door as well, not really meaning to; it just happened beyond my control. The moon light shines through my window and lights my face with a silvery blue glow. I can't catch my breath; I'm so overwhelmed. On the verge of breaking down, I take a deep breath and lean back on the door. I slowly slide down until I'm sitting on the floor. I just need to think, I need to figure this out. I think back on my whole day starting with when I met a stranger at Mr. Thompson's. He knew exactly who I was, what my family and I were going through, and that I needed help. He said he could help me get food, money, medicine, clothes, blankets, and anything else my family needed. Once he said that, he had my full attention, but I wasn't about to trust him just because he had a knack for persuasive sweet talk.
My first question for him was, "How do you know so much about me? What, are you stalking me?"
His reply was, "I've been simply watching your behavior when you’re out working. You work too much to not be in such need." He had a point. And I'm sure many people around town watch me in that way, I just hate the idea of my name being thrown around.
He said his name was Michele Glass. He was seventeen, same age as me, and he had a family that he provides for as well. He has two younger brothers, no older than my sisters. But what I really cared about was when he said the Tecks were coming, and they were coming for soldiers. My mother had been right. The Taking year was among us.
The Tecks come for new soldiers every ten years. I wince at the fact; all the soldiers were once one of us. I've only seen the Tecks come in for new soldiers once; I was only seven at the time. I wasn’t old enough to be taken away myself, but I saw plenty of other boys get dragged from their homes and thrown into strange moving objects. They're taken to the other side. When they come back, they're different. They come back almost like robots, like they're brain washed. They don't know their families afterwards and they beat and kill their own people. All I can really remember the details of are all the screams. I remember every scream that day. The horrible, painful screech of every mother, the silent but certainly visible broken hearts of every father... almost every family suffered that day, and suffered for many more years after that.
Michele's directions were clear. The Tecks were coming, and they would most certainly take us both away in the process. It didn’t scare me nearly as much as the idea of my sisters being there to watch. I can't bear to think of that, leaving my sisters here with nobody. Gabe would be the strongest in my family then, and have to take care of them. The thought hurts me. But when Michele told me his plan, a different feeling entered me. He told me of a passage over The Wall that separates the two sides. He told me that he and some other guys our age have been sneaking in the last few months to get what they need for their families before they're taken away; stocking up, so to speak. And they wanted me to come along. He assured me that they had never been caught and that there were never any soldiers out on patrol where they enter in from. As long as we stick to the plan, we're perfectly safe. But it's not my life I'm concerned about.
I sit here thinking for more than four hours. Surprisingly, I’m actually considering it. But I shake it away. No! I’m not going! I have no idea what's over there. I don't know what they would do to us if we were caught, but that's not a situation I want to end up in. Not to mention what they would do to our families. But every time I think I've made up my mind to not go, I think about my sisters, how they’ll be after I'm taken away. If I can't stop my fate, maybe I can at least prevent theirs from becoming as miserable as mine will be. Maybe going is the right choice. Getting them everything they need to hold them over for a while. I'm really not one for stealing, even if it is from those lustful demons. But if they’re coming to destroy my family even more, I'm not holding back on anything. So, now, the real question bobbing in my mind is this; is doing the wrong thing for the right reasons worth the consequences of the already fated outcome? I haven’t quite figured out the answer to that one yet.
At first sight of dawn, I haven't slept a wink and I'm already jumping up to dress myself. Michele told me to sleep on it -didn't do much sleeping- and if I decided to come, to meet them by the river. They'll only wait an hour for me so I can't be late.
I walk into the girl’s room where they’re still deep in sleep. I gently kiss each one on the forehead.
Now, standing in the kitchen, I pick Leila up out of her cradle, slowly, trying not to wake her. I stare at her for some time. She's so small and innocent with no knowledge of what happens around her or of the world she lives in. I kiss her head very gently and lay her back in the cradle. I even find myself sending Gabe affectionate looks as I tie up my boots and button my jacket. I realize that I'm really preparing myself to not come back. I have to. Never in this life do I want to end up as cocky and confident as Michele. And with that thought I can't bear it. I look away from him and head out.
It's still dark out which makes it difficult to run through the woods, but I've been through this forest hundreds of times. I have this path memorized so it's not hard to find my way to the river. Using the natural instinct of hearing doesn't hurt either. Listening closely for the river as I'm running is somewhat of a skill I've acquired over the years. My brain is good and awake as I run, stampeding me with questions and worries and stress and anxiety. I like it though, it keeps me focused. And before I know it, I've arrived.
Five boys wait anxiously. They all jump up from their sitting and crouched position when they hear me dart out of the forest behind them. Michele seems surprised I showed up and once I see his face, I am too. Before I have time to rethink my decision, Michele wraps his arm around my shoulder and whispers something to me. I can't make out what it was but I'm thinking it had something to do with my showing up.
"Gentlemen, I think you all owe my new friend, Nathan an apology for doubting his arrival." He announces with a laugh. All the guys laugh after him, as if they've been betting on it or something. I feel very uncomfortable and confused now. Michele gives my back a pat as he says, "Ah yes, but we have important business now. You all follow my lead and stay down."
He leaps off into the river –which only gets about waste deep in the center– and all the other guys follow him like he's their mother duck. I'm not one for soaking myself at four in the morning, so I turn to walk fifteen feet in one direction until I find my usual crossing spot. I studied this river when I first acquired my shotgun and found that most of the game lingered on the other side. At first, I did what the rest of them do; leaped in and dealt with the wet clothes the rest of the day. However, over time I thought through my actions more and searched for a more convenient way across the river, I searched for the flaw in the system that the deer travel by. A much shallower –and safer– path that only soaks me up to my calves can be found underneath the growing pine tree where the earth rises under the water.
They all look at me with smug and irritated expressions as I rejoin the group on the other side. I hear some of them whispering to themselves and each other. This is ridiculous; they’re acting like teenage girls. I walk behind them, regretting my decision to tag along.
We must have been walking twenty minutes or so by now. I’ve never journeyed this far in before. Always knowing The Wall was somewhere nearby –and quite frankly, not having any idea just how close nearby meant– I’ve tended to keep a comfortable distance when determining how deep into the less familiar wood I traveled. I’ve learned to always be very aware of my surroundings, no matter where I am. Even in
the most secure place in my world.
As the hike continues on, and I mentally count how many footsteps I’ve taken since crossing my invisible line several miles back, I find myself seriously thinking about turning around. I’m stealthy enough, light on my feet and making far less noise than the strangers in front of me, not to mention I’m already holding up the tail end of our line, I have no doubt I could sneak away without being noticed by anyone. Of course, there’s always tomorrow to think about, when these guys show up at my front door and proceed to stone me in cold blood. Is retreating now worth deceiving them? After all, they did trust me enough to invite me along. Although, that thought only makes me lean towards ditching even more. They have absolutely no reason to trust me. Yet they do. Why? They don’t even know me.
I swallow hard, the reality of the critical situation I’ve lost myself in taking effect. Not only shouldn’t they trust me and appear to do so, it occurs to me slowly how Michele never mentioned why he asked me to tag along. There are no proceeds being delivered to him by my thievery, so why approach me in the first place? What if I were to turn them all in? What if I decided to take my chances on the Teck’s side and make a run for it? The fact of the matter is; he just doesn’t know me and the kind of person I am. Oddly, I feel a strong urge to be the bad guy.
Lost in thought, I’m caught off guard when the guys in front of me all plunge to the ground to duck behind bushes. After an embarrassing moment of standing there like an idiot, I catch on and throw myself into the deeper thicket, waiting for further instructions.
I hear Michele quietly call out to the rest of us from somewhere, "The Wall’s up ahead. Don't forget your positions."
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