by P. Jameson
And he’d had years of practicing keeping his distance.
After the pain he endured with his failed mating and all that went along with it, he’d decided he never wanted to be with just one woman ever again. So he’d had a strict one-and-done policy when it came to females. They warmed his bed at the lodge just long enough to satisfy them both and then they were off. The policy hadn’t failed him. Even after his clanmates started settling down.
Until his animal had grown restless with the one night stands. The damn lion wanted more. Started wanting what his brothers and sisters had. What he’d wanted way back when he was a young and his mom promised him things could be different for his generation.
And then she’d arrived. Adira, the Sorcera.
He’d thought her and her coven a threat when they took down the entire clan of shifted animals in an effort to prove their worth to the group. She’d gone one-on-one with his cougar, even as he tackled her to the ground, she’d used her magic to force his animal back into his body. And the way her light magic lit up the midnight sky like it was daylight earned her the nickname Sunshine. But for Mason, that name meant something else entirely.
At first sight, his lion had recognized something in her. She didn’t just light up the sky that night, taking his breath away and making him angry and excited at the same time. She lit him up inside. Peeled back shadows he’d carried with him forever, exposing hurts he’d sworn not to cover. Memories of the past he’d failed at keeping fresh. All that, without speaking a word to him. The light inside her speaking to his darkness without either of them giving permission.
His Sorcera had what it took to roll back the darkness that still cradled his heart. And he didn’t know if he wanted her to or not. But he knew he needed to decide fast before her light was gone. Before she was gone.
“You wound me, Mrs. Markel. You think I have commitment issues?”
“I suspect you do, son.”
“Judgy,” he tsked, letting humor edge his voice. “Maybe there is someone. You don’t know.”
She turned her weathered face to him, one expertly drawn in eyebrow raised in interest. “Now, that would be interesting. If she exists.”
Mason barked out a laugh. “You don’t believe in her?”
Mrs. Markel settled back on the table with a sigh. “Oh, it doesn’t matter if I believe in her. It only matters if you do. So… do you?”
Believe in Adira.
He’d seen her go up against the ruthless Alley Cat gang from Memphis to help Ouachita. He’d watched as she worked up a spell to break Nastia’s ties to the mystics that sourced their magic. Watched her bring her sister back from death. And most recently watched her help Mirena ask the mystics to send her a child for her and Theo to raise.
Believe in her? Yeah, he believed she would help everyone but herself. When it came to finding her own Anchor, saving herself, something was jamming her up. And he couldn’t help feeling like it was him. Like he was the roadblock.
The thought made him lock his jaw in frustration.
And like a switch turned, his mind was invaded with another presence. Destiny the Elder. He was finally starting to get used to her popping in and out of his mind like a weird second conscience. She was a bobcat shifter mated to a wolf from the Dirt Track Dogs pack. After training with Elders from another wolfpack, she’d become DTD’s adviser. And somehow, she’d been the same for Ouachita, even though werecats didn’t traditionally have foreseers to advise them. Cats didn’t need them because they tended to be loners.
But Destiny never played by the rules.
With her help, Mason had been matchmaking with his clan, in hopes of making them stronger. And he’d succeeded. They were iron now. Unbreakable. Destiny had brought them the witches. Given them a solution that meant no shifters would mess with them ever again.
But there is still unfinished business, she murmured in his mind.
Mason recalled the disaster of a family meeting Mirena had called last week. Sorcera transitioned from light to dark magic in their twenty-fifth year unless they could find their Anchor, the person or object they attached to with such devotion it had the power to hold them to their light. Nastia had used dark magic before she found Thames, so she’d needed to outsmart the darkness to anchor. But Mirena had decided she’d found another way.
A baby.
Some old-ass tomes that belonged to their line of witches told of a way to use a baby born of love as an anchor to the light, and Mirena wanted Mason to give Adira a baby for this reason. She’d caught on to the way Mason watched her sister, or the way Adira behaved around him… something. But she had no idea what she was asking of him. And it wasn’t her place to ask anyway.
A baby.
As if having young could be a band-aid for your problems. He’d done that once already. And paid dearly for it. His heart had opened wide for his son, and now it was closed to the possibility of ever having another.
Mason, Destiny said carefully. Don’t believe that’s true. Don’t count anything out.
It was odd to hear her this muted. She was usually so in his face, he could hardly stand it. She’d been trying lately to respect his boundaries, and he appreciated it. But this wasn’t her way. Destiny always told it to him straight.
He heard her sigh in his mind. Fine. You want it straight? She’s yours. Adira. Everyone can see it. Your clan, your cougar. Even her. But you resist.
Yeah, this was more like it. Calling shit, shit. But her words choked him up bad.
You are running out of time. You’ll lose your heart again if you don’t find a way to open it up. Now is your time, Mason. Everyone you love is safe. Everyone except her. Everyone except you. Do something about it.
With that, she disappeared from his mind like vapor, leaving him with only his own thoughts and Mrs. Markel’s moaning.
Mason swallowed down the lump clogging his throat. What Destiny didn’t know was he was so close to just saying fuck it, and giving that Sorcera everything. All his ugly past, all his sordid future. Because that’s what a future with him would be. He wasn’t due a happily ever after like all the others. And if Adira attached herself to him, her future would be just as dismal.
He couldn’t bear to see her sunshine dull. She was too vital. Too brilliant. She wasn’t just a sparkle on a dark horizon. She was the whole damn sun.
As if he’d conjured her with his thoughts, he spotted her through the wall of the massage room. Half of her anyway. From the waist up, her long sleeved, buttoned to the collar shirt. Her wavy blond hair, looped at her temples in some old-fashioned hairdo she liked. He liked it too. Her brow was furrowed as she talked to Beth, twisting her hands again and again. She seemed… upset.
Mason’s therapeutic touch slowed on Mrs. Markel’s shoulders. “Think our time’s up,” he murmured, bringing her robe up around her. “You just relax until you’re ready to go now, alright?”
“Mm hm. Sure thing, Mason,” she said drowsily. He’d no doubt find her snoring in here when he returned.
He washed his hands in the sink, drying them quickly. But when he turned to look back at Adira, she was already gone. Beth stared toward the front of the spa at the heavy frosted glass door, frowning.
Something’s wrong, his cougar warned.
But he wanted to no-shit that fucker. Of course something was wrong. Everything was wrong.
The question was, how to fix it.
Chapter Two
Adira the Lightest was out of time. Out of time to help Mason. To help herself. And she’d be damned if she was going to stick around to hurt her sisters and the clan with her changing. Especially when the male she cared so much for didn’t have a place for her in his heart.
Staying at Lake Haven would only bring more heartbreak for them all.
“I’m not for you, and you are not for me. Understand? I don’t have the kind of heart you need to anchor you. And for fuck’s sake, I’m sure as hell not giving you a baby.”
“I never asked you to. That
’s something I’d never do.”
Adira squeezed her eyes shut against the memory of the single most mortifying conversation she’d ever endured. And in her time, she’d endured some pink-cheeking.
A week ago, Mason the cougar shifter had paced the small space of her room at the lodge, ranting over the plan her coven sister had proposed while Adira sat on her bed trying her best not to cry over his harsh words. Her rhyming vice didn’t help either. She hadn’t been able to stop Doctor Seuss-ing every response when normally she had no trouble speaking around him.
“Look, I want you to find your Anchor just as bad as everyone else. I really do, Sunshine. But I’m not it. You see that, don’t you?”
He’d knelt on the floor in front of her, pleading with his eyes. She’d just nodded that time, not able to make the lie move past her lips.
Was a future with her really something to dread? Because Mirena had said exactly what Adira had been thinking: she and Mason had a connection. Didn’t they? Until that moment, Adira had believed it. But he was so worked up over the mere idea of being her Anchor, and that was when she knew there was no hope.
“We have to find another way. I’ll help you. I swear. But there has to be another way.”
But there wasn’t.
The bristly werecat had snagged her from the very beginning. When she and her sisters arrived at Lake Haven, it was with the thought of helping one of the cats who was steeped in a shadowy past. Gash, a former Alley Cat, had left his life of crime and wanted peace so he could settle with his mate in the Ouachitas. But his wasn’t the only shadowed heart she’d felt that day.
Mason Miller was brave and had fought her magic hard. He battled for his clan, battled for her coven sisters, and even for her. But he hid things deep in his heart. Things that called to her, wanting out into the light.
Over the past months, she’d grown attached to him and his secrets, but now, it was time to admit she was defeated. In two weeks, what little light magic she had left would drain from her and she’d be filled with the dark power of a Magei. She would become the evil in the world meant to temper goodness. The evil that strove to produce a balance.
It was her turn to be dark, even if she didn’t want it. And there was no more time to ignore the inevitable. It was time for action.
Adira hurried through the halls of the lodge toward the spa. There was a ninety-seven percent chance she’d run into Mason there, but she had to talk to Bethany. Maybe he wouldn’t see her. Maybe he’d be busy with clients. She could be in and out, quick like. And then she’d call Father Isaac and make the necessary arrangements for her departure.
She’d just avoid the cougar as best she could until she could leave.
Sadness threatened to sweep her under like a riptide.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She was the youngest and last of her sisters to transition, so she’d always known whatever fate awaited them was something she would witness firsthand. But she never expected to be the only one becoming a Magei. She never imagined her sisters would escape darkness without her. How was it possible to be both ridiculously happy for them and terrified for herself at the very same time?
But it was more than just leaving her sisters behind. She was leaving behind a clan of wonderful people she called family now.
What would her days be like without watching Magic and Josie bicker and then kiss to make up? What about little Rhys, the clan’s only young? The two of them had become best buddies after she showed him how she could make Legos fly through the air and form a boat. And what about the masterful recipes Eagan and Bailey prepared in the kitchen? She’d become accustomed to good food.
Adira pushed on toward the frosted double doors where the word SPA was etched on the front, hoping Mason wasn’t the first thing she saw on the other side. Her long skirt swished with the rapid movement of her legs.
But her sadness swirled on, forming a storm in her gut. She’d never meet Mirena’s baby. Never see Josie and Bethany’s young. Never hear Layna’s colorful curse words again, or Ryan’s bad karaoke and party dancing, or participate in Doc’s yoga classes…
She was leaving everything behind to become something she didn’t want to be. All because her nature demanded it. Her mystics, the lights in the sky that coexisted with the black of night, demanded balance, and every Sorcera was due to become a Magei unless they could find their Anchor. And hers… was not here.
It was hardly fair, but she’d learned a long time ago life wasn’t fair. It was the first lesson she’d learned from Father Isaac and the tutors.
Pushing through the double doors she spotted Bethany at the front desk. The female was round with a child, given to her by her panther shifter mate, Renner. It was her second young, who she was expecting to meet any day now.
Adira sighed, more sadness hitting her heart even as she offered Bethany a careful smile. What a sweet family the female had.
Family.
Adira had only started wanting one of her own recently, since coming to the Ouachitas. Before that, she’d only had dreams of helping raise other Sorcera with the tutors. She’d wanted desperately to teach. To take young magic users and show them her spells, teach them her methods, help them embrace their light. The way the tutors had helped her. But maybe that’s because it was the only form of family she knew.
She had an entire wishlist for her life, but none of it could come true if she didn’t keep her light.
Her whole life, she’d known it was a long shot, but she’d prepared anyway. The same as Mirena had prepared to raise a family. The same as Nastia had studied love. Adira had watched Father Isaac. Watched the tutors. Learned every spell she could. Made some up as she went along. She was The Lightest. She had overcome many obstacles in her years. If anyone stood a chance against the darkness it should have been her.
“Hi there,” Bethany said with a smile of her own. “You looking for Mason? He’s in with a customer—”
“No.”
But Bethany was already gesturing toward the half see-through wall, and Adira’s gaze skated that way, her eyes seeking out the cougar of their own will. He was stoic, lost in concentration as he worked on some unseen customer.
Adira liked watching him. Did it a lot when no one was looking. He was serious most of the time unless he was being sarcastic. He liked to pick at people, she’d noticed, to see what they were made of. He’d done a lot of that with her in the beginning, but he found quickly that she wasn’t made of jelly. Her mouth could be as smart as his. It just came out in rhymes and occasionally, spits and sputters.
She jerked her gaze back to Bethany.
“No. Sorry, I’m not. I just need to tell you this thought. I-I-I…”
Adira snapped her mouth closed to stop the stuttering. It was a sign she was getting closer to the end. The rhyming her tutors had taught her as a way of coping with her speech impairment was no longer helping. As a child, she’d stuttered so badly speaking her incantations had been impossible. It wasn’t until Father Isaac taught her the rhyming game that she was finally able to speak clearly.
From that point on, it became her vice. Something her body and mind demanded of her. Just like her sisters’. Nastia was compelled to count every rock she found, and Mirena had a penchant for challenging and being challenged. All Sorcera had a vice. It drove them forward, shaping their personal style of magic, and helped them to focus on their spells. The vice became worse the closer they got to transitioning.
Now, Adira’s made it very hard for her to communicate. Since coming to the lodge, the only time she could talk normal was when Mason was around. But she was avoiding him now.
She took a breath and tried again. Maybe if she said what she needed to say very fast, she’d make it to the end.
“I can’t babysit Rhys tonight. Nor tomorrow night, nor any night, if that’s alright.”
Bethany frowned. “Well, sure. That’s fine. Did something happen? He can be a little, um, shall we say… rowdy? I can talk to him if you’d like.
”
Adira’s shoulders sank. This wasn’t because of anything the little four-year-old had done. She just didn’t feel like he’d be safe with her anymore. With less than two weeks left of her light, things would start turning bad fast. Her personality would deteriorate until the people she cared for would hardly stand to be around her. Then she’d become vindictive as Nastia had. Maybe even hurt people. Like Nastia had.
No. None of that would happen, because Father Isaac was going to get her out of there.
Adira shook her head to answer Bethany’s question. “No, it isn’t Rhys. He’s okay. It’s just that very soon, I’m going away.”
Bethany’s frown grew deeper, forming a ridge over her dark eyebrows. “Away? Why would you go away, Adira? Don’t you like it here?”
Adira wrung her hands. This wasn’t coming across right.
“My Anchor,” she reminded. “It can’t be found. And if I’m to turn, I don’t want to be around. Won’t hurt my sisters, o-o-or the clan. It’s best to go, while I still can.”
“But…”
With a shake of her head, Adira let Bethany know the conversation was over. She turned for the door.
“But… does Magic know? What about Mason? Your sisters? Adira, wait.”
Bethany’s words faded off with the click of the spa door, and Adira hurried toward the lobby in case the female thought to follow her.
Rounding the corner, she smacked right into Magic, the clan’s leader. The shopping bag he was carrying fell to the floor, bags of gummy bears tumbling out onto the hardwood.
“Oh! Sorry, Magic… well… this is tragic.”
He smirked, bending to pick up the stray gummy bear bags, and Adira crouched to help him.
“Not tragic. Just some spilled bears, that’s all.” He eyed her. “Oh, you meant your…” He circled one finger in her direction. “Your… thing.”
“Yes. I guess.”
“Your rhyming thing. I see what you did there.”
