by Leanne Banks
"Does he mind?"
Olivia swallowed and winged it. "No. He wants me to finish my degree. He knows how important it is for me. My mother never did much outside the home because my father discouraged her, and Nick would never be that way with me. Never."
"It must be nice to have someone love you that much. You're lucky," Lissa said again.
Olivia smiled again, but it required a painful effort. She didn't know which bothered her more. That she felt dishonest by saying she and Nick were engaged, or that deep in her heart she knew the good things she'd said about Nick were true.
* * *
Arriving home from work, Nick opened his mouth to call out to Olivia, then stopped when he overheard her talking on the phone.
"Of course I'll be home for Christmas, Mom," Olivia said as she paced, shoeless, across the kitchen floor. "I just won't be home early. I agreed to, uh, house-sit," she said, crossing her fingers, "for the friend who is letting me stay here rent-free the rest of the month."
Silence followed.
"I expect my grades will be good," Olivia said. "No problem there. I'm glad I didn't try to work part-time this first semester, though, because some of the courses were tough." There was a brief pause. "No. Money's no problem," she said, crossing more fingers and rolling her eyes.
"Yes, I have another place to live starting January first," she said, crossing fingers on the other hand. She winced. "Yes, I'm staying away from the guys." She crossed two more fingers and closed her eyes. "Yes, Mom. I'm definitely moving closer to school in January," she said, uncrossing all her fingers. "I love you, too. Don't work too hard. I'll see you soon."
She hung up the phone and sighed. "Oh, what a tangled web we weave," she muttered. "When we lie like dogs."
Nick came up behind her and tugged a strand of her hair. "Do you need me to talk to your mom or dad?"
"No!" Olivia whipped around to face him, looking startled. "No. Not my dad or my mom," she said with a sick expression on her face. "I'm hoping they never find out about this."
He curved his hand beneath her hair and touched the soft skin of her nape. "Is it that tough to pretend you're engaged to me?"
"No," Olivia said again, too quickly. "Well, not as tough with people I don't know. But I want to be honest, especially with people like Lissa Roberts and my mom and—"
"Lissa Roberts?" Nick asked, wondering if Olivia was leading him on another conversational goose chase.
She nodded. "I took her out for shopping and a movie today and she started asking all kinds of questions about you and me."
"You persuaded her to go out?" he asked, stunned. "Her mother said she refused to leave the house except for doctor visits. And they argued about those. What did you do? Put a spell on her?"
Olivia shrugged. "I think it was just timing. Lissa was getting bored."
"You're understating again," Nick said.
Olivia's brows furrowed in confusion. "Understating?"
"You do it a lot," he said. "You understate your effect on people."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do."
"No. I—"
Nick covered her mouth. "Do you really want to argue with a man who wins arguments for a living?"
Olivia glared at him, then nipped his finger.
Nick chuckled in surprise and pulled her into his arms. "Heaven help me, she bites!"
"I owed you," she said in a wry voice.
"Back to the original point," Nick said. "You do underestimate your effect on people." He shook his head. "Be careful about getting emotionally involved with my clients."
"You might as well tell me not to breathe. I can't imagine not being emotionally involved with someone who's been hurt like Lissa has." Sounding as passionate as he sometimes felt, she gave a smile that tugged at his heart and libido at the same time. "Good thing I'm not an attorney, isn't it?"
"Yeah," he muttered, sensing she was still unsettled about something. "What kind of questions did Lissa ask?"
Olivia groaned, pulling away. "She asked about you and your attraction to me. Then she mentioned—" She shook her head and looked slightly ill again. "Babies."
Nick's heart stopped. He took a careful breath and cleared his throat. "'Babies'?" he repeated in the most controlled tone he could muster.
"That's what I said," she told him, "after I nearly dumped my ice cream in my lap. I could deal with the ring, but the baby thing is going a bit far."
"What did you tell her?" he asked, curious as hell.
"Since you and I haven't discussed children," she said wryly, "I had to wing it. I told her you want me to finish my degree first because you know how important it is to me." She glanced away. "I told her if it was important to me, then it was important to you."
"That would be right," Nick said to her.
Olivia sighed and looked up to meet his gaze. "Sometimes it's hard being engaged to you when I'm not really engaged to you."
Nick nodded. "This is strange, but I know exactly what you mean. You and I would be a lot happier if we didn't have to deal with the rest of the people in the world."
"But the whole reason we got engaged was because of other people," Olivia reminded him.
"Yeah," Nick said, however his mind was filled with the image of Olivia big with his baby. He looked into her eyes and could see the brown-eyed gaze of his child. His heart tripped over itself and a warm feeling suffused him. He waited for cold panic, for rejection of the mere idea of children. He waited, but the warm feeling remained. A strange longing hummed through him.
Now, that made him nervous.
* * *
The following night, Nick and Olivia dressed for a Christmas party at Anna Vincent's home. As if both were aware their time was slipping away, they had stayed inside all day, hiding from the outside world and cherishing private moments. They talked and laughed, and with each passing hour, Olivia felt more vulnerable from the impact of Nick's undiluted attentiveness.
Nick met her at the bottom of the stairs. His gaze drifted over her appreciatively. "You look beautiful, but I can tell you don't want to go."
Although she felt frayed around the edges, Olivia mustered a smile. "You weren't supposed to notice."
He lifted a dark eyebrow. "That you look beautiful?"
She rolled her eyes. "No. That I don't want to go. You were supposed to be so overwhelmed by my beauty that you didn't notice anything else. But noo-ooo, you had to use your Warrior Commando super abilities and read my mind."
"Super abilities," he said with a dry chuckle. "It's more from years of taking depositions and learning how to read a face. We don't have to go tonight," he told her.
The intense passion in his eyes made her feel light-headed. She took a careful breath. "Yes, we do. Anna Vincent will disown you as a neighbor if we don't show. She's called three times today to make sure we're coming."
Nick cupped her chin. "We won't stay long."
The promise in his voice rippled through her. It would be so easy to grow accustomed to being with him, too easy to get used to feeling as if she belonged to him. She could learn to rely on Nick's undivided attention.
That would be a huge mistake, she thought, and looped her hand through his arm as they walked next door to Anna's festively decorated home. Anna's driveway and the curb in front of her home were filled with cars.
"Looks like Anna has a full house," Olivia said as Nick pushed the doorbell.
Nick nuzzled her neck. "That should make it easy to leave early."
Anna pulled the door open and smiled with delight. She quickly turned around. "It's Nick and Olivia," she called to her guests.
A hoard of people yelled, "Surprise!"
A few guests followed up with a singsong chorus of "Congratulations."
It took a full moment before Olivia comprehended the situation. Her stomach sank to her feet. "Omigod," she whispered. "A surprise engagement party."
"Kiss your bride-to-be, Nick. You're standing under the mistletoe," Anna said. "The
n we can start the toasts and gifts."
At once, Olivia and Nick glanced up to see the spray of traditional holiday kissing greenery. The whole foyer took on an aura of unreality for Olivia. Surely, she couldn't be standing at an engagement party when she wasn't actually engaged. Surely, this crowd of people wasn't waiting for Nick to kiss her. Surely someone would snap their fingers and the guests and the mistletoe would disappear.
"I'm sorry," Nick muttered as he pulled her into his arms.
Olivia looked into Nick's gaze and saw grim determination. Lowering his head, he kissed her, and Olivia understood that she was in for the performance of her life. She wondered if she would be able to pull it off.
Nick's lips lingered as if to offer silent consolation and support. When he pulled back, he laced his fingers between hers and held tight. He shook his head. "Anna, how did you manage such a surprise?"
"I swore everyone to secrecy," she said, clearly proud of her success. She ushered Nick and Olivia into her large, elegant den decorated profusely with holiday knickknacks. "Most of the guests are from the neighborhood, but I invited a few people from your office." She waved toward Helen, her escort, Bob and Karen, as they stepped forward.
"Congratulations again!" Helen said, giving Nick and Olivia a warm hug.
"We're all still speculating on the date," Karen, the wife of Nick's boss, hinted.
Olivia felt her entire body tighten. "We're not even looking at dates until after Christmas. We're just glad we found each other again," she said, and realized she meant that last statement with all her heart.
Nick put his arm around Olivia's waist and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "That's right. We're in no rush."
Olivia met his gaze, and the connection she felt with him calmed her. During the next hour Nick didn't leave her side, and it seemed he was always either holding her hand or keeping his arm around her waist. In the back of her mind, Olivia kept reminding herself it was all part of the show, but her body and heart wanted to believe his touch meant more. The game of pretending that she and Nick were truly in love and planning to share their lives felt a little more real.
The champagne and toasts flowed with ease, raising forbidden questions. How would it be if she and Nick were really engaged? How would she feel if he loved her with all his heart? What if she truly loved him?
A seductive euphoria slid through her veins, making it easier to pretend. For the sake of the evening, Olivia decided not to fight it. As Anna brought in an array of gifts, she and Nick were separated to make way for the hostess. From the other side of the Christmas tree, she overheard some guests talking.
"She's not at all the usual kind of woman he dates," one woman said. "I always thought Nick would marry a lawyer. That way, his wife could keep up with him."
Olivia frowned.
"I always thought it would take an Ivy League type to land him," another woman said. "Did you know she didn't start college until this year?"
"Is that so?" the first woman asked. "She's not at all the usual kind of woman he dates."
"Maybe that's why he fell for her," the other woman said. "She's a novelty."
"I wonder if it will last."
It won't! Olivia wanted to tell the women even though her heart felt ripped in two. It would all be over in less than ten days. Nick would become Richmond's Bachelor of the Year again, Olivia would struggle to complete her degree, and they would go their separate ways.
Reality cut at her. This was such a farce, she thought, struggling with a desperate feeling. Surely they could leave soon.
"Time to open your gifts," Anna said, and Olivia prayed she could keep her misery to herself.
* * *
Chapter 11
« ^ »
By the time she and Nick returned to his house with gifts in tow, Olivia was numb. She wanted to turn her back on the damning sight of the gifts. They represented sincere, good wishes, and she felt anything but sincere. "I need a shower," she said, immediately heading for the stairs.
"Hold on a minute." Nick clasped his hand around her wrist. "Are you okay?"
"Just tired" she said, not turning to face him.
He tugged her backward, and her stomach took a double flip. "You don't sound okay."
"I'm fine," she said, wishing she could sound more convincing.
He turned her around. "You don't look okay."
"I thought you said I looked beautiful," she said, and managed a strained smile.
"I'm not talking about your beauty and you know it," Nick said.
Olivia felt like a house of cards. It would only take a stiff breeze and she would tumble into disarray. "You might not want to use your Warrior Commando super powers on me right now, Nick. It could get messy, and you don't like messes."
From her peripheral vision, she saw the stack of gifts and squished her eyes closed. "Oh, damn."
"What is it?" Nick demanded.
"The gifts," Olivia said. "They'll need to be returned."
"I'll handle it," he told her.
"We shouldn't have opened them," she said, her eyes filling with tears. "Everyone was so happy for us, and I felt like such a fraud."
He took her by her shoulders. "Olivia, you are not a fraud. You are the most real woman I've ever known."
"But these people care about you, Nick. I feel dishonest," she whispered.
"Hush," he said, holding her, clearly trying to soothe her distress. "Anna took us by surprise. That's why you're upset."
"Sometimes when I'm pretending to be crazy for you, I don't feel like I'm pretending," she confessed, and swallowed over the lump in her throat. "I think I might want you more than I should."
The depth of emotion in his eyes floored her. "I know," he told her in a rough voice, "I want you more than I should."
Then he kissed her and obliterated everything from her consciousness except him. He was warm, and his hands and mouth were like a consuming fire burning away her pain. In his arms, the outside world fell away. Sipping at her tears, he made her feel as if she weren't all alone in her feelings.
She wanted to be the woman that fired his passion, that made him lose some of his precious control. She wanted to be the woman he trusted and turned to when he celebrated or when he mourned. She feared his possession at the same time she craved it.
"I want to make love to you. Now," he told her. "A moment didn't pass tonight when I didn't want to take you away from Anna's house so we could be alone."
His breaths came in quick bursts, and she could feel his arousal as he brushed against her. His urgency felt like gasoline, and she was already burning. Wordless, she pressed her open mouth against his and tugged at his shirt and slacks.
He unzipped her dress and pushed it down with her stockings. A second later her bra joined her other clothing on the floor. Nick immediately cupped her bottom and pulled her against him.
"Upstairs," he muttered, dragging his mouth down to her breasts. He swore. "How can it be too fast and not fast enough at the same time?"
If her vocal cords would have worked, she would have said, "The same way you can be too much, yet make me want more of you at the same time."
They climbed the stairs together, kissing and caressing each other with each step. He knew exactly where to touch her, exactly how to kiss her. Olivia was burning up. In his darkened bedroom, he took her mouth in a scorching, sexually claiming kiss that left her moaning.
"I've got to slow down," he muttered.
"No," she protested.
"Yes," he said, his nostrils flaring with each inhalation. He tugged her with him to the CD player, hit the power button, and let the slow jazz music fill the crackling air.
Pulling her flush against him, he took her mouth again and began to move.
Her heart hammering, her body clamoring for more intimacy, she struggled for her breath. "What are you doing?"
"We're dancing," he said.
"We're naked."
"I know," he said.
His chest rubbed over h
er breasts, tightening her nipples. His thigh slid between hers. He rocked his hard masculinity seductively where she was damp and swollen for him. Olivia inhaled deeply and drew in his scent.
She wanted to drown in all the sensations he evoked. Everything about him drew her, teased her. He was so deliciously close, yet not quite close enough. Her heart hammered against her rib cage and she lifted her mouth to his.
The brush of his tongue over hers, combined with his rhythmic intimate movements, was so erotic she could barely breathe.
"You feel so good," he told her, sliding his hands down to her bottom.
"Oh, Nick," she murmured. "I want you—" She broke off when he kissed her again.
"How do you want me, Olivia?" he asked in a voice that combined sex and silk.
At another time her need might have made her blush, but her body was on fire. "I want you—" she swallowed "—in me."
His eyes lit like twin flames as he guided her backward. The wall was cool at her back. He lifted her and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist.
Inch by incredible inch, he slid inside her. Olivia gasped, tightening around his sensual invasion. His possession was so intense she struggled to keep her eyes open. She didn't want to miss a second of seeing him or feeling him.
He sucked in a deep breath and began to pump. "You're so tight, so good. I can't get enough of you."
With a mind-blowing rhythm, he filled her stroke by stroke, and Olivia wanted his words to be true. For more than just a night.
* * *
Nick didn't let her out of bed until noon the following day. For the umpteenth time, his hand snaked around her waist as she tried to crawl out of bed.
Languid from their lovemaking, she collapsed on the bed and laughed. "Food! Water!" she cried. "Bathroom!"
He pulled her against him and gave an evil-looking grin. "I'm not ready to release you."
"Then I'll die of thirst, and it will be all your fault, and they won't name you Bachelor of the Year again."
He shook his head and played with a strand of her hair. "You're not helping your case."
She lowered her lids and affected a sexy pout. "Maybe this will," she said, and pinched him.
