She frowned, watching him spread the peanut butter on his toast as she took in what he'd said. She hadn't realised that his parents were dead. He hadn't mentioned it last night. He handed her a piece of toast, smiling broadly. She took it and continued to look at him. No matter how much she'd thought she knew about him, it seemed there were still things she was yet to discover.
“You're not eating?” His voice broke into her thoughts. She blinked herself back to the world. “Are you all right?”
“I'm fine,” she said and delicately bit the corner of her toast, chewing it slowly so she didn't look like a pig. “Why?”
“You just looked a little distant. Are you sure you're all right?” He took a bite out of his toast and had swallowed it down before she had a chance to respond. “Sorry I'm being a bit strange. Alistair calling me out of the blue has thrown me.”
“It's understandable.” She hopped down from the counter and took another bite of her toast as she went to the refrigerator. She opened it and grabbed the orange juice, placing it on the side. Shutting the refrigerator door, she looked at Erik. “You really don't like him do you?”
He shook his head and finished off his toast. “It goes both ways. When our parents were alive things weren't so bad between us. Now we'd probably kill each other if you left us alone in a room together for long enough.”
She took another bite out of her toast and poured two glasses of orange juice as she chewed it thoughtfully. Handing one to Erik, she swallowed her mouthful.
“So why the contract?” she said.
He drank down his glass of orange juice and then sighed. “It's complicated.”
“Is that a nice way of saying I wouldn't understand?” She smiled and sipped her drink.
“It's a nice way of saying you don't want to get involved in this.”
“I am involved,” she said and they both fell silent. She knew he'd hated her reminder that she was his client as much as she did. Forcing a smile, she pushed away all the questions about the contract and his family.
She placed the remains of her toast down on the plate and walked over to him. He looked down at her, his expression heavy and thoughtful. She was ruining their day. Time to make things better again. Taking his toast from him, she tossed it onto the plate and then caught hold of his shirt collar. She lured him down to her and kissed him, slowly exploring his mouth with light brushes of her lips, so barely there that it made her feel light and giddy inside. He responded by placing his hands against her hips, holding her gently and kissing her with equal tenderness. She stepped closer to him, into his embrace, and melted when his arms encircled her, wrapping her up. The world drifted away and the way she'd felt when they'd been kissing on the bed came back full force. She sighed against his lips, loving how relaxed this felt. He tasted like peanut butter. She presumed she did too.
His lips left hers and trailed down her neck. She was surprised when he stopped kissing her and just held her. He pressed his cheek against hers and she closed her eyes, wrapping her arms about him and holding him.
His grip on her tightened and she wondered if there was something wrong. She pushed against his shoulders and looked into his eyes as he stared at the work surface. Lightly cupping his cheek with her right hand, she brought his head around to face her. There was a look in his eyes again that she couldn't decipher. Maybe his brother had said something to upset him.
She smiled reassuringly, touched by the way he let his guard slip around her and was showing her the man he was beneath his strong exterior. The corners of his lips twitched a little, but he didn't manage a smile. There was so much sadness in his eyes that it made her heart ache. Who was this sadness for? Was it for his parents, or for them, or someone else?
Her fingers stroked his cheek and she let her guard slip too, wanting him to see the way he made her feel so if any of the mixed feelings in his eyes were about her, he'd feel reassured about those at least.
He smiled this time and kissed her. It was a gentle caress that made her ache inside, but not with desire. She felt as though he'd breathed a little of his sadness into her and she knew without words what he was trying to say. She clung to him, kissing him and wishing he wasn't about to leave.
He broke the kiss and brushed a few strands of hair out of her face.
“I have to,” he said, as though he'd heard her thoughts.
His hand slipped into hers and he led her to the door. She followed in silence, staring at their joined hands and trying not to think about tomorrow. None of this would change. There would still be feelings between them. He wasn't going to change his mind about her.
She stopped at the door and looked up at him as he turned to face her. She let herself believe that the look in his eyes was for her, that he didn't want to leave, and that this was hurting him as much as it was her.
Opening the door, she forced a smile as he stepped out into the hallway. His hand took hold of hers again and he toyed with her fingers, looking at them. When he raised his head, she gave him another smile, trying to hide how much she was hurting. She didn't want him to leave. She didn't want to go back to the real world.
He kissed her briefly and caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers, smiling at her.
“I'll see you tomorrow,” he said and kissed her again.
She nodded. He would. There was a meeting tomorrow to discuss the contract. She felt sick at the prospect of having to sit so close to him and not being able to touch him, or look at him for too long.
He moved a few steps, his hand still in hers, but then came back to her and kissed her again. It was harder this time. There was no sadness in it, only passion and hunger like he'd shown her last night. She threw her arms around his neck and lost herself in it, pouring out her feelings into it and ridding herself of them as she told herself that everything was going to be fine. She smiled against his mouth, thrilled by the desperate way he was kissing her, and then pushed his shoulder.
“Go,” she said with an even broader smile.
He grinned and kissed her one last time before his hand slipped from hers. She watched him walk to the stairs and held her hand up in a wave as he looked back at her. He blew her a kiss and disappeared down the stairs.
She sighed and leaned against the doorframe, listening to his receding footsteps.
Tomorrow would be fine. If she was lucky, he'd ask for somewhere to smoke and she'd have some time alone with him.
She grinned.
Life was suddenly looking up.
CHAPTER 14
Erik stood the moment the door opened and Laura walked into the room looking a little flustered. She hurried to her desk and placed down the files she was holding and then turned to face him with a bright smile.
“Mr. Blackwell, we weren't expecting you until eleven. I hope nothing is wrong,” she said, her cheery voice doing nothing to cover the tightness in it.
He knew what she meant by nothing be wrong. She was panicking that he was going to pull out of the contract negotiations with them and find another lawyer. He smiled.
“Nothing like that, I assure you,” he said and she visibly relaxed for a moment before acting as though she didn't know what he was talking about.
She knew.
He paced across the room, trying to think of the best way to say what he had to as his heart battled against his mind. He knew this was wrong of him, and that there was a chance Kim wouldn't see his actions in the same light that he did, but he had to do it. She'd said it herself.
“I want Kim off the case.” His heart ached in his chest and he took a deep breath, forcing himself to continue reciting the words he'd practiced so well since yesterday.
“Why? She hasn't done anything to upset you, has she?” Laura moved towards him.
He sidestepped her, not wanting her close to him. He didn't want to be here at all. But he did want Kim to feel as though she could be with him without losing her job.
“No, on the contrary. She's been wonderful. I just don't think sh
e's right for this case.”
Laura gave him a knowing look and nodded. “I see. This is because she asked those questions on Friday. What did she say to you in the lift?”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose to ease his building headache and said nothing. Kim had done nothing wrong in the lift. If anything, he was the guilty party. He was the one doing things wrong. He didn't mind that Kim asked questions about the contract, that was just her job, and he'd gladly explain things to her if he could find a way of doing it that she'd understand. He had to tell her. Since leaving her yesterday, he'd spent the whole time thinking about her and what was going to happen when she found out about him, and had decided that he had to tell her as soon as possible. Maybe then she would be more understanding about it.
Maybe then she wouldn't leave him.
He growled under his breath, quiet enough that Laura wouldn't hear him.
“You seem very agitated,” she said and moved to block his path as he paced back across the room.
He looked at her. “I have a headache. I want this contract signed as quickly as possible, and I want Kim off the case. Can you do that?”
She took another step towards him, her lips curving slowly into a smile. Her eyes narrowed slightly.
“I can do anything you want me to,” she whispered.
He grabbed her waist as she threw her arms about him, her lips pressing hard against his. Pushing her backwards, he restrained himself from using his full strength and tried to get her off him.
The door opened and he shoved her away.
He turned to see Simon smiling at him from the doorway.
“I'm terribly sorry,” Simon said in a snide tone. “I didn't mean to interrupt.”
With that he was gone and Erik knew exactly where to.
* * * *
Kim put her bag down on her desk and jumped when Simon appeared next to her. She pressed her hand to her heart and scowled at him for interrupting her thoughts about Erik.
“Morning,” she said and went to open her bag but Simon stopped her when he spoke.
“You wouldn't believe what I just walked in on in Laura's office.” He was smirking, the kind of smile that made her stomach turn.
“What?”
“Erik Blackwell kissing Laura.”
Her heart sank on hearing those four words, and her stomach went with it, shortly followed by the world dropping away.
She stared into Simon's eyes, desperate to see if he was telling the truth. Tears rose into hers when she saw the smile in his, the twisted pleasure he was taking from telling her something he knew would hurt her. She couldn't believe it.
Grabbing her bag, she mumbled something about not feeling well, and walked out of the office. When she reached the main entrance hall, she broke into a run, clutching her bag to her chest as she fought her desire to break down and cry.
This couldn't be true.
She felt so stupid for ever believing that a man like him could like her. He'd said she was beautiful. Was that a lie too? Was this all some scheme to get her into bed with him?
But the way he'd looked at her, the way he'd touched her. It couldn't be a lie.
Her heart reproached her. If it wasn't a lie, then why was he kissing Laura?
The journey home passed in a blur of unshed tears and the moment she reached her apartment, and the door was safely locked behind her, she broke down. She sobbed into her hands, feeling wretched and hollow as she tried to make sense of it. Simon hadn't been lying. Erik had been kissing Laura.
She was so stupid. She should have listened to Simon.
Erik was clearly as much of a player as his brother.
She was a fool for thinking he actually wanted to be with her.
Running into her bedroom, she grabbed everything that smelt like him, everything she'd cherished yesterday and last night. She crumpled the towel in the bathroom and the bed sheets up in her arms, and ran with them into the kitchen. Tears streaked her face as she shoved them into the washing machine and turned it on. She stepped back as it began the cycle, staring at it and still trying to come to terms with what was happening.
Falling to her knees, her mind emptied and she watched the sheets going around in the machine.
So much for things looking up.
So much for being beautiful, and feeling loved.
She pressed her hand to the side of her head when she felt a little dizzy. She went to stand but the world spun around her and she swore she'd seen a flash of the building. It was followed by a flash of the hallway, and then her door.
There was a knock.
Her head shot around to face the kitchen door and the corridor beyond.
Her heart thundered.
Getting to her feet, she moved cautiously to the door. Her hands were shaking as she stood staring at it, instinctively knowing who was on the other side. She was too confused to even attempt to make sense of what had just happened, not when she couldn't even understand everything before it.
“Who is it?” she said, her voice trembling.
“You know who it is,” his voice came through loud and clear.
He was right. She had known it was him before she'd even asked. She couldn't deny it. She'd felt him. Shaking herself out of it, she told herself that it didn't matter what she'd felt.
She looked through the peephole at Erik. “Go away.”
He looked flustered, anger shining in his eyes but mixed with disappointment and anxiety.
What was he doing here? Did he know that she'd heard about him and Laura?
He knocked again, making her heart jump with each harsh thump of his fist against the wood. Instinct told her to open it, but she firmly shut it out, keeping control and telling herself that she wasn't going to give into him. It didn't matter that he looked so hot when angry. He'd kissed Laura.
“I know what he told you, Kim, but that isn't what happened.” He sounded as though he was ready to break down the door if she didn't open it soon.
She didn't budge. Instead, she slid the safety bolts into place. They probably wouldn't stop the door from giving if he put his full strength behind it. It was more for her sake than his. She had to stop herself from letting him in like she wanted to.
“You mean you weren't kissing Laura?” she said, not holding back her anger and hoping he heard it in her voice. He deserved to hear the pain he'd caused her.
“Laura was kissing me!”
She stepped back from the door when it rattled with the force of his blow. A thrill ran through her over how he was acting. She shook it off. Now wasn't the time for fantasies about Erik. She hated him. He'd played her for a fool and she hated him.
“I don't believe you,” she said, her voice lacking the conviction she'd hoped for. A part of her did believe him.
And it was a big part.
“You've got to believe me. I have no interest in Laura. I was only in her office this morning to get you off the case.”
Her whole body slumped and her heart sunk on hearing those words. Annoyance quickly replaced any hurt she was feeling. He'd wanted her off the case? Wasn't she good enough to work for him?
“I know what you're thinking,” he said through the door. She said nothing. “Don't hate me. I wanted you to feel like you could be with me...if I'm not your client—”
“I still don't believe you,” she interjected, this time with more venom. She was impressed with herself. After he'd said that he'd only wanted her off the case so they could be together, she'd almost moved to the door to open it.
There was a noise that sounded distinctly like growling and the hairs on the back of her neck rose. Her stomach tightened, her body tensing with it. Something inside her said to back away from the door a little more. She knew Erik had made that noise. He'd growled. It wasn't a typical annoyed male sound of frustration either. It was a feral growl that had made her recoil in fear and made her fight or flight instincts kick in.
By the feel of things, her sense was saying flight.
But she wasn't frightened of Erik. Her heart said that he'd never hurt her, and it was because she was refusing to believe him that he was upset. If she went out into the hall, he wouldn't harm her.
“How did you know I was here and that I knew?”
“It was Simon who saw Laura trying to stick her tongue down my throat,” he said, a little less annoyed sounding now.
“And?” She frowned, confused.
“Men with the hots for a woman can smell their own kind.” His voice was grittier again now but she got the impression he wasn't angry with her.
“I don't understand.” The voice at the back of her head called her a liar.
“Simon is mad about you...” A pause. “But not as crazy as I am.”
She stared at the door, feeling a little stunned. Damn him to Hell. He was confusing her and making her not want to be angry with him. She hated him.
“Come away with me,” he said and her heart leaped into her mouth.
The words were said with such tenderness and calm that she stepped back up to the door and looked at him through the peephole. He was leaning against the banisters, his hands firmly gripping them as he stared at the door.
“Give me a chance to show you that you're wrong about me.”
She pressed her palms against the door, wishing she had the courage to open it and open her heart to him again.
“Go away with you? Where, when?” she said quietly, but he clearly heard her because he pushed off from the banisters and came to the door.
“Today...to the country. I know a little place there.” He pressed his hands against the door and she swore she could feel them against hers. “Please, Kim?”
She told herself to stay mad at him. She wasn't going to let him tempt her into agreeing. He'd kissed Laura. He'd smashed everything they'd had together.
“I'll think about it,” she said and cursed her heart for winning over her head.
He smiled and it relaxed her a little to see it.
“Will you let me in while you think about it?” he said, his look hopeful.
In Heat (In Heat Shapeshifter Romance Series #1) Page 12
