by B. T. Narro
“Two days,” Leon repeated. “Now spread out.”
We started to walk off as he continued to shout at us.
“If I find out any of you said even one word to another from this point on, then I don’t care if you come back stronger than Gourfist himself. I never want to see you near the castle again. Don’t even pick a spot where you can see someone else. You are to be completely alone for this.”
I kept my eyes focused straight ahead and chose a route toward the nearest rocky slopes. There was no helping that some people were still walking close to one another, but everyone quickly spread out the farther they went. I was nervous to look back at Leon, curious how long he would stand and watch us go. It didn’t matter. I had no plans to break a rule, and I doubted anyone else did.
Rocky hills led up to the southern mountains ahead of us. There were more than enough routes for everyone to go their separate ways, but some paths were more treacherous than others. I took the steepest one, trusting in my balance and eager to find my spot for the next two days. I needed all the time I could to learn how to cast the one spell of dvinia that I knew. It would’ve been impossible without the vibmtaer. It would still be difficult, but I was certain I could do it. I just needed time.
I took a steep path that twisted up the small mountain, which met the sky farther up ahead, not allowing me to see what was on the other side.
When I eventually made it, I was pleased to find a small field of mossy grass at its surface. Up this high, I could see the rest of my peers fanning out and taking other paths. Many would have to walk quite far to find a flat surface like this. I was closer to the city here as well. The nights would be the worst because I had no cover. I could keep searching for a cave, as Leon had mentioned, but I was too eager to begin. I could usually sleep anywhere, so long as it didn’t rain. Fortunately, there was not a cloud in the blue sky.
It was advantageous to pick the first place, as I had done. This way I had more time to practice, and I was closer to the capital to return when we finished. I needed every advantage I could get. I was too nervous to take out my vibmtaer with everyone still walking around, but there was much I could do as I waited.
I sat down with my legs crossed. I set the ward of dteria in front of me, closed my eyes, and pushed out my mana. I couldn’t feel any difference here compared to the tavern, but the quiet was refreshing. It reminded me of Bhode.
The spell I needed required me to use the note of my natural mana, uF, and the highest vibration I could reach, uuD. These two would be the easiest to practice, and I didn’t need the vibmtaer to begin.
For the last five or six years of my life, I had toyed with my mana. I knew what uF felt like, and I wouldn’t soon forget it. uuD was different, however. Reaching that note with my mana was like pushing my voice to its highest note. It was exhausting, but it did get a little easier as I practiced.
Eventually, I stood up and looked around. I couldn’t see my peers, who I knew were somewhere south. The city wall was about a mile north, maybe farther. There was a short bridge over the river that ran south past my location. I hardly remembered crossing it on my way here. I’d had too much on my mind lately. I looked forward to being able to relax, but that wouldn’t be for two days.
I took out the vibmtaer from my pocket and the rolled up color chart from my bag. I found two small stones to set on the corners of the parchment so it would stay open.
Just to ensure I was right, I tested my mana. Sure enough, I saw a light grayish purple for uF and a pale yellow for uuD. I just needed to become more comfortable casting uuD, then I could start working on the other two notes between my natural note and the highest note I could reach.
Hours passed as the sun quickly set. It somehow became harder and harder to reach uuD as time went on. It felt like my mana was being pulled lower by an outside force. It took more concentration, more of my stamina as well, to reach it again and again.
I was exhausted when night was settling in. There was just enough light in the red sky for me to see the front panel on the vibmtaer. I decided another test was in order. I tried to push out my mana at its natural frequency of uF again, but it felt off. I checked the vibmtaer as I casted the note.
It was a pale green.
Shocked, I checked the color chart. Above the square of pale green was the note “uEm.”
uEm? I hadn’t been taught what “m” meant, but I could see that it was one note lower in frequency than uE. So “m” must be lower. Why didn’t they just name it differently? Why “Em” instead of “D?”
There were other questions I had as I looked over the color chart. The lowest note was llC. Why did they start with C and not A for the lowest possible frequency? And why did it go from G back to A as it got higher and higher? Why not G and then H? Why not all the way up to Z?
I remembered then that Leon had mentioned that the different F notes shared similar properties. He had also told me several times that there were similarities between mana and music. This probably had something to do with how they were named.
I started pondering other questions as I tried to regain my stamina. Was mana the same thing as the magical arts? No, I reminded myself that the magical arts were ranges of mana like dvinia, wind, fire, and ordia.
Soon it was too dark and I was too tired to keep practicing. I set out my bedroll and started to drift off as my mind sifted through all the information I’d learned today.
I was so tired I must’ve slept all the way through the night. I woke up with my body a bit stiff but my mind refreshed. I took a little time to wake up and make myself comfortable in fresh clothing, then I was ready to get back to it.
An instinct told me to test my mana again, though, because something felt off. It was like there was mana already in the air, mana that wasn’t mine.
My first thought was that I was finally beginning to feel the benefits of meditating in this area of mountains close to Curdith Forest. But the more I practiced, the more I realized that the difference to my mana was an inconvenience, not a benefit. Something was slowing my mana, lowering its vibration.
When I pushed out my natural mana, the color displayed on the vibmtaer was now light yellow. Looking at the color chart, I found out this note was uD. Last night it was one note higher, uEm. Why was my natural mana getting lower?
I picked up the ward of dteria. I looked into it deeply. I concentrated my mind on it. I even sniffed the damn thing. Was it this little thing that was changing the nature of my mana?
I felt a chill. Perhaps I hadn’t been tricked for coin but with intentions even more detrimental to my future. Did Greda sell me something that disrupted my mana?
I took it away from my camp spot and set it down about fifty yards away. Then I returned. If it was doing something to my mana, I needed to find out.
I thought through every possibility I could imagine as I waited for its possible effects to wear off.
Perhaps it was a ward of dteria, and the nature of the ward was what altered my mana. Or Greda could’ve made a mistake creating the ward. Or it was intentional and this wasn’t a ward at all. But why would she do something like that to me? And what could it be instead? There were other possibilities as well, but I wouldn’t come to any conclusions about them until I confronted her, so I didn’t see the point in wondering right now.
I tried to keep practicing, but it felt like a waste of time. I couldn’t learn what a specific note felt like if that note temporarily felt different, as they all did now.
Anger consumed me. I’d had concerns about this cursed ward, but Leon was such an irritable donkey ass that I couldn’t bring my concerns to his attention. I knew I was partly to blame for going against his instructions, but I didn’t have the capability right then to turn my rage onto myself.
I directed it at Greda next. I understood that she was worried about her mother, but that didn’t give her the right to sell me something as a ward when it most likely wasn’t. If she had done it on purpose, she would pay dearly
.
But why do this to me? I kept returning to the same question. I knew I’d interrupted her a few times when she was working, but that couldn’t have been the reason. No one was that fickle.
The only way I could explain her behavior was that she was lashing out at me as if I was the one responsible for her mother’s poor health. However, even when my father was clearly dying, I didn’t take it out on anyone else. Even the monk who had failed to heal him and then recommended prayer above all else—I treated the man with respect. It wasn’t his fault that he was incapable of helping. He’d tried his best.
I fumed for a while longer. Every time I tried to cast, I still felt my mana being altered by what I had come to be sure was the moonstone Greda had sold me. I was tempted to crush it or at least pick it up and throw it as far as I could, but I might need it later as evidence.
Eventually, I did notice my mana slowly returning to normal. The stone had to be too far away to make a difference anymore. I ate something from my pack of dried food and waited another whole hour for my natural mana to show as the familiar purple-gray on the vibmtaer, uF. Finally.
I was ready to practice again. It was noon. Yesterday evening and more than half of this day had been ruined. I wouldn’t let it get to me right now, though. So long as I still learned the one dvinia spell I’d memorized, then I wouldn’t be removed from the group and thrown out of the castle.
At least I was almost sure I wouldn’t be removed. I supposed Leon could hold a grudge against me for going against him, but I was relying on the notion that he needed anyone who could be of use. He would have to keep me if I proved myself valuable.
I supposed it wouldn’t be the end of my life if I did fail. I would find work in the city and study sorcery when I could. It would be much more difficult to accomplish anything with the magical arts without proper training, but at least I wouldn’t have to put up with Leon and any risk that might come with training for the king. Should I just give up now?
The thought turned my stomach. I’d only had a taste of sorcery, but it had become more important to me than anything else left in my world. I supposed that wasn’t too strange considering I had lost everything when my father passed. I had known this piece of me—my mana—was something incredibly valuable.
Pursuing it had led me this far. I wasn’t going to give up now.
CHAPTER NINE
I had never sat in one place for this long in my life, but the hours flew by as I made decent progress. I barely tasted any of the food I had brought with me. I never stopped practicing and working out my mana.
Eventually it was night. The wind was freezing as if trying to bring an early winter upon us. I settled into my bedroll. My exhaustion was more powerful than the cold, and soon I fell asleep.
I was groggy in the morning, my eyes blurry. I tried to wake up with some breakfast, but it didn’t quite do the trick. I decided to make a quick trip to the river where I could at least wash my face and rinse my hair.
I was ready to practice when I returned. I blissfully found out that now I could consistently cast uuD, the highest note needed for the spell, and it didn’t strain my mind as much as the night before.
Tomorrow morning I would have to go back to the castle. Having only one day left, I was nervous about learning the spell in time. I still had to figure out how to cast the other two notes, which meant memorizing the feeling of the two other frequencies of mana. These were in between the natural vibration of my mana and the highest note I could reach.
The hours flew by with me making great progress, now that the stone Greda had sold me was far away. By noon, I learned how to reach both notes consistently. That’s when I stopped for lunch.
I knew it was important to take a break, at least to eat, but I was so eager to begin again that I didn’t allow myself more than five minutes before I was casting once more. I altered my mana from one note to another, and then back down again.
I let out a little cheer. “Yes!” I was finally comfortable casting each of the notes necessary for the spell: uF, uG, uuC, uuD. There was still one small problem and one very big one. uG and uuC still felt a little awkward. I could push my mana to them by monitoring the color on the vibmtaer to ensure I made it to light orange and pale pink respectively, but when I tried to reach the same notes without looking at the vibmtaer, I looked later to find that I was sometimes off by a small margin because all the notes around this range still felt nearly the same to me.
I didn’t have time to familiarize myself with the two middle notes as I had with the lower and higher ones, not with the big problem looming over me like my immediate expulsion from the castle. I had to figure out how to split my mana into not two…not even three…but all four of these notes to actually cast the spell.
I was excited to find out what it did, but I had to be honest with myself. There was a good chance I wasn’t going to figure it out in time. Too much of my effort had been wasted because of that damn ward of dteria, or whatever it really was. I took a few deep breaths to let go of my budding anger. I had to focus.
As of right now, splitting my mana felt like splitting my voice into two different sounds. I just didn’t see how it was possible. Barrett had warned me that this would take weeks. Soon I would find out if I was brilliant or laughably stupid for thinking otherwise.
I would have time to worry about being expelled…well, when I was expelled. For now, I would enjoy the challenge. I was supposed to split something that seemed to come from a single source: myself. Perhaps that was my answer. It wasn’t about splitting the mana once I was holding it in the air. It was about pushing out two different forms of mana at the same time.
I took hold of the mana within me, feeling the familiar uF buzzing in my mind. It was easy to push my natural mana out of me into the air, or to cast into the air, in other words. I prepared myself to do it but stopped at the last moment, splitting my mind and the mana in half. Then I pushed.
Nothing unusual happened. It just felt like uF was buzzing in the air.
“All right,” I told myself. “That’s fine. It’s probably just because the two forms of mana were the same note: uF. They must’ve merged together to become one as they left my body. Perhaps all notes of mana do that when I split it.”
I started to wonder where exactly my mana was coming out of me. I could feel the energy anywhere I searched for it. I could even move it around once it was out. But where did it come from? It was a little strange and somewhat violating to think about the various possibilities.
I casted a few times as I pinpointed my mind on the mana leaving my body. I came to the conclusion that it was leaving from my hand, but it didn’t have to be that way. I could push it out of my chest, my head…and that seemed to be it. I was a little glad that my other experiments with the lower half of my body didn’t work.
What was bizarre was that I didn’t feel the mana leaving or even traveling through my body. It was as if it was already outside my skin but still connected to me. That made me recall something Leon had mentioned when I had first met him and Reuben. He had asked if Reuben knew what a vibmtaer looked like. He didn’t want Reuben bringing back something “useless like a manamtaer” by mistake.
I assumed that meant that our mana really was outside our bodies where it could be measured by a device. I imagined a manamtaer might tell someone how strong their mana was, or perhaps how much there was that could be used. That would explain how it could be useless for us, at least right now. It would be helpful at some point, however, to find out just how much mana I had compared to other sorcerers.
I set my mind back on my task. I needed to prepare two different notes to be used at the same time. I would have to learn to cast uF and uuD at the same time anyway, so I started with them because they were the easiest.
It was like trying to think two different thoughts at the same time. The grass is green and the rocks are gray. One after another was easy, but thinking each statement simultaneously was extremely uncomfortable. It ma
de me shout out in frustration a few times as I continued to fail. I scratched my head vigorously like there was an itch I couldn’t get rid of.
“How the hell does anyone do this?” I shouted. “And I’m supposed to do four at once?”
I was beginning to wish I had purchased an essence instead. It would be so much easier to match different notes already in the air. It would be like looking at the green grass and gray rocks and letting my mind think about both of them at the same time rather than closing my eyes and trying to think of one and…wait. That was it!
I didn’t have to focus on each individual note at the same time. That would be like trying to picture the grass vividly, with all its green individual blades, and at the same time picture gray and speckled rocks in a separate part of my mind. Why would I do that when I could put the rocks on the grass and picture them vividly together?
I was beyond familiar by then at casting uF and uuD. I had been preparing my mana and then pushing it into the air, but I would never be able to cast two different notes that way. They had to be prepared and casted together. I groaned as I realized what that meant. There was a step I needed to learn that I had forgone.
There was no way to prepare one note at a time when two needed to be cast simultaneously. I had to learn, instead, how to cast each different note without thinking. It would be like trying to move my right hand and left hand in circles of different speeds and directions at the same time. There was no way to think about one and then the other while moving both. I had to move them at the same time pretty much without thinking. That would take muscle memory and complete control over my hands. The same must be done with my mana.
Now I truly understood what it meant to be a sorcerer. If I could familiarize myself with using all the notes my mana could reach, then I would be able to cast any spell within my range. But I had spent hours trying to familiarize myself with just four notes, and I felt like I needed at least another ten hours before I might barely be able to use them to cast something.
