by Laurie Bell
His voice was soft when he replied. “Ry … Made a few mistakes, ended up in the wrong place with the wrong people. It is what it is.”
So he wasn’t going to tell her. She stared into the flames. Her fingers curled into the cool sand forming strange abstract pictures. The scent of their dinner still lingered in the air, but it was fading. She could smell his soap. Scooting lower she kept her arms close to her body. I must reek!
Curiosity finally forced her to break the uneasy silence fallen over them. “Have you always worked alone?”
He barely hesitated. “Yup. Don’t need anyone else to do what I do. Heck, the pay is great. You need a job? The hazards are insane but the people you meet are mostly good. There are some nut jobs, but you get them everywhere, right? People to avoid, that sort of thing. You’d be good at it.”
She laughed at his obvious attempt to change the subject. Silence stretched between them, but it wasn’t hostile—more comforting than anything. Warmth kissed her face on the side that faced the fire. The smell of burning wood familiar—her grandparents kept a working fireplace in their small house. The memories of their crinkly faces and the hot cocoa they always had on hand filled her with melancholy. Popping wood sap sent sparks into the air. Toni pulled her knees up to move her toes away. After a little while she sighed. “My name is Toni.”
“I know.”
“What?”
“Jasmine.”
Of course. “Why didn’t you say anything.”
“I was waiting for you.”
She thought about that for a while. “This is kinda nice.”
He nodded. “It is. When I look up at the sky dancing around like a great celestial show just for us … I think I could stay here, live here.” He turned to her then. “We could stay here.”
She laughed, thinking he was making a joke, but his face was serious. He stared into her eyes. “We could. Just the two of us. No need to go back.”
Toni shook her head. “Be serious, Dan. It would never work.”
“You could make it work, if you really want to.”
He looked so earnest. She tried to imagine it, but every time she pictured the two of them together, the image dissolved like a water-based image in the rain. Ephemeral, intangible—it was a dream, nothing more than that.
“Can I ask you a question without you exploding at me?” he asked.
“Depends on what you ask.” She was sated, warm, and exhausted from staring at strings of code. In a few days she might be ready to reactivate the CII, maybe even as early as tomorrow. It was time to start thinking of the future, the realistic future. What was she going to do when they got off this moon? Could she really arrest him? What if she turned him instead? Make him into an informant. Would he go for that? It was certainly more palatable than just letting him go. And then she’d get to see him again.
“Do you really think you’re a freak?” In the light of the fire, orange flames danced in his eyes. He stared at her unblinkingly. Firelight cast half of his face into shadow, while the side she could see glowed.
“I am.”
“Why do you think that?” he asked, exhaling a long breath almost like a sigh.
How could he ask? Look at me. She turned her face up to the sky. “I’m not normal. I’m too pale and sickly looking. I make people uncomfortable. I burn too easily, my eyes hurt in just about any light. My DNA is damaged. I shouldn’t exist. I’m an anomaly.”
“I think—”
She didn’t want to know what he thought. “My scars. I was born with them, you know. They don’t just stop at my collar. I have them on my ribs too. I am a freak.”
“Did someone tell you that?” His voice sounded flat in the darkness. No expression crossed his face when she peered at him. He was holding his body so still, no part of him twitched. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“Who hasn’t?”
“I haven’t.”
Toni snorted. “Yet.”
He knelt forward to nudge a block of wood further onto the fire and when he sat back he was a lot closer, close enough that Toni could reach out and touch him—if she wanted to. She clasped her fingers tightly together over her belly, feeling his gaze on her face. After a few minutes, she turned to look him in the eyes. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, Dan, but this thing, whatever it is, can’t happen. We’re enemies. Maybe not right now, but when we get off this rock we’ll go back to being who we are. You, a smuggler on the run, and me, hunting you down. Just let it go.”
“Thing? You think this is a thing?” His voice was low when he added, “Are we really enemies, Toni?”
“Don’t,” she begged, hoping he would let it drop. She licked her lips to moisten them and for just a moment, she didn’t think she could say no if he pushed things further. She didn’t think she’d want to.
“It’s not true,” he told her, looking away.
“What?”
“You’re not damaged, or broken, or a freak. Whoever told you that was very, very wrong.”
“Everyone can’t be wrong, Dan,” she said, rolling away from him at last. She lay down on the blanket they’d been using as a bed. Moments later, she felt him take his place at her back. He flicked the blanket over them and breathed into her neck.
Toni was mostly asleep when she thought she heard him say, “Not everyone.”
CHAPTER TEN
“I think we can try turning her on,” she called to his feet late the next afternoon. The sun’s bite was sharp on her face. Toni shaded herself with her hand, peering down from the top of the Renegade’s ramp. Dan lay beneath the wing, but toed the trolley out from underneath at her announcement.
“Wait for me,” he called up. Oil painted his face. She turned away from the sight, hiding her grin.
Two and a half weeks since the crash and Renegade was finally patched and rebuilt. It wasn’t pretty by any means, but hopefully the Stargazer would be functional. Toni led him into the cockpit.
“Shenghi! What did you do in here? Throw an end-of-solar-year booze up?”
“Funny. I’ve been working on your CII, not as your housemaid,” she replied. Lifting the rewired board she’d created to act as a new interface, she waved it around. “I’ve got one speaker attached, but no screen, so you won’t get the CII’s face. Ready?”
“As long as you’ve got her working, that should be fine. We’ll need her to manage the fuel changes on the burn up.”
She looked at him drily. “Yes, I know.”
“How did you learn to do this anyway?”
“What? Reprogram a CII? I get bored.”
He snorted. “Bored?”
Toni climbed under the console and connected the last of the lines to allow the meager charge he’d generated outside to trickle into the system. They waited for the NSD to reboot. Come on, come on. She’d practically rewritten the entire program. Was there a chance she’d missed something? Highly likely, given the situation. Still, she had her fingers crossed. All she needed was a little “hello.” Come on. She thumped on the console with her fist. “Anything?”
Above her head, Dan cleared his throat and called, “D’ena? Are you with me?”
There was a burst of static in reply. Yesssss. “Hang on,” she said, and stretched further within the confined space under the console to manipulate a few more connections. Maybe something’s loose? She climbed out and stared at the cockpit lights. Connecting them to the CII was a good way to test signal strength. “Try again.”
“D’ena?”
The Renegade’s lights flickered. A computerized voice said, “Boss?”
“Hey, you did it!” Dan grabbed Toni around the waist, hugging her tightly and laughing into her ear.
Toni grinned, watching the lights flash.
Dan’s fingers touched her face, turning her to look at him. He kissed her. She froze at the touch of his lips. Oh. He tightened his hold and pulled her closer. Her eyes drifted closed. She sighed into his mouth, raising her hands to loop around
his neck. His lips were warm and wet. His hands pressed fire into her skin everywhere he touched. Even the usually numb area around her ribcage scars tingled. He ended the kiss, lifting his head slowly only to kiss her again when she dragged him back.
“D-d-d-a-an?”
He raised his head at the static filled sound of the CII’s voice. “Welcome back, D’ena.”
The relief in his voice was so great Toni turned away to give him privacy. Her hand rose to her lips. Her first kiss. She wanted more. Dan sat down at the control center and didn’t look back. The kiss probably meant nothing to him, but for her, it meant everything. Her head swam. She needed air. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she said, and escaped through the open doorway.
Grabbing the blanket to protect her skin from the sun, she sat down on the shoreline, facing the ocean. Every time a wave crashed against the sand water licked her toes.
What was that? She knew Dan was happy to have D’ena back, but why kiss her? Was he playing with her? She shook her head. I always see the worst in every situation. Dan had done nothing in the past two and a half weeks to make her suspect he was manipulating her emotions. He’d saved her twice, fed her, kept her warm. In fact, he’d done nothing to cause her any pain at all. Why did she automatically assume that was his intention? A little voice in the back of her mind cried out, reminding her of the flash bang. He’d left her blinded on Nizlec Six. Ruthlessly, she shoved the memory away. He’d told her he liked her. Maybe he really does? His kiss certainly implied he did. Would he have kissed her if he didn’t like her?
The shield over her heart faltered.
It wouldn’t take much to repair his ship now. Hearing him address his CII had her aching for the loss of Mate and Zach even more. They would be okay, but she was determined not to leave them here when they left. She’d get Dan to carry Mate and she’d grab Zach’s storage drive until she could return. With that resolved, she struggled back to her feet to find Dan heading toward her. He stopped a few feet away.
“Good work. D’ena is responding, but reports some of her systems are inaccessible. Think you can do something about that?”
“Get me some more power, and sure,” she told him.
“Done.” He walked beside her back to the ship. He didn’t mention the kiss.
Neither did Toni.
*
“A-a-agent Delle?”
“D’ena, don’t talk. I’m still working on those lines,” Toni mumbled, her mouth full of wires. Her hands were tangled in the console’s innards.
“I jus-s-st wan-ted to … thank y-y-you.”
“Oh, no sweat.” She rolled out from beneath the console to eye the lone active camera in the ceiling she’d managed to get working.
“I m-mean for Da … an.”
“What do you mean?” Toni asked, not really paying attention to the CII’s answer. She sorted through the wires in her hand. The red one maybe?
“For s … s-s-saving him.”
“Oh, you’ve got it wrong, D’ena, he pulled me out of my ship. I was trapped. He saved me.” She knelt back down.
“Did-d-d he? Oh I’m-m …”
“Don’t speak, D’ena. Let me rework these switches so you won’t be so garbled. I want to access your stored memory. Can you try your external communications relay? See if you can get an emergency signal out. Call for help.”
“We can’t do-o-o-o th-that.”
“Of course you can. Well, provided someone is listening.” Toni changed the connection in her hand, and D’ena’s response became nothing but static. Ugh, this is such a kheghing pain in the rear. She switched the wires back.
“—and he doesn’t want that.”
“What was that, D’ena?” she muttered. What did I just change? She tried the green wire.
“D’ena, Toni, how’s it going in here?” Dan called from the Renegade’s entry ramp.
Startled, Toni lifted her head and smacked it against the panel. “Ouch! Khegh it!” She rubbed the blossoming bump on the back of her head as she dragged herself out once more.
“Boss! I’m back. The agent sure is good with her hands, huh?”
Dan choked on his next breath. Toni grinned at him cheekily and waited for his response. “She’s never spoken like that before.”
Toni shrugged. “I might have tweaked a few things.”
He rolled his eyes. “Can you run a system check, D’ena? See what you can and cannot access? Ah, any messages?”
Toni wiped at the scratches on her fingers, dabbing at blood spots with the rag she’d tucked into her waistband. There was a burst of static above their heads. Toni glanced up wearily. Not again.
She was on her knees climbing back under the console when D’ena spoke. “Everything seems to be functioning. Diagnostics are not flagging any major issues, but then again, my diagnostics might be what’s on the fritz. I have two messages, Rycee and Gall—”
Dan cut her off, slamming a hand down on the panel Toni held. He pointed at Toni and gestured outside. “I’ve just put another pot on. You might want to grab it while it’s hot.”
Messages? The CII accessed the holonet? “We should try the comms—”
“It’ll wait.”
“What? No, why?” Toni dug in her heels. Her stomach twisted sharply at his pause. “Are you coming?”
“Yes. I’ll be right there. Pour me something, will you?”
Her eyes narrowed as she frowned. She shot a glance at the panel. He cut D’ena off. Why? The CII mentioned a couple of messages. Gall? Clearly smuggler stuff Dan didn’t want her to hear. She hovered in the doorway but he shooed her out with a smile. “Go.”
“Check the communication system is sending not just receiving. See if we can get a signal out,” she said, looking at him uncertainly. She didn’t want to leave. An icy cold spread across her chest. He doesn’t want me to hear something. What’s he hiding?
“Yes, I’ll do that. Really, I won’t be long.”
Outside she hovered by the open ramp but couldn’t hear anything from inside. Get your weapon. This was it, wasn’t it? The moment he became a smuggler again, and she an agent. Why did it feel as though a blackhole had opened inside her chest? She sat by the banked fire, fingering her gun. Her tea was cold by the time Dan joined her. She tucked her gun beneath the blanket though kept her finger on the trigger and wriggled back under the shade of the tree. The moon rotated quickly here, or so it felt, and shade always crept away before she realized.
“What was that about?” she snapped.
“What?”
He had the gall to look confused. The ice inside her chest became nothing but steam as flames roared to life inside her body. It could easily become an inferno that would consume them both if she let it. “You wanted me off your ship. Why?” He grinned and held out a small package. She stared at it blankly. “What’s that?”
“Open it.”
“Why?”
“Shenghi, Toni, just open it. It’s a thank you for getting D’ena back.”
Oh. Deflating as her anger extinguished, she took the thing badly wrapped in tree leaves and tore it open. “What?” she said, staring at the polished stone in her hand.
“I found it the other day. I think it might be a natural silkcrystal. Thank you for getting D’ena up and running.”
“Um.” Toni stared at the stone, embarrassed over her behavior. She fidgeted on the log—every knot and deviation in the wood digging into her soft flesh. Dan sat down beside her. His leg pressed against hers, but she didn’t shift away. “Thank you.” Silkcrystals were insanely expensive. If it was one, he’d just given her a fortune.
“No, thank you,” he whispered and moved closer. His hand rose to touch her face. “Toni.”
She pressed her lips to his. Just once, give me this. She’d arrest him in the morning, but for now, she waited, sand hot beneath her feet. The sky a shining ball of fire above her head, but still she let Dan tug the protective blanket away. She stared into his dark eyes. He tangled his fingers with
hers. His smile drawing her attention back to his mouth. She whispered his name as their lips met again. “Daniel.”
*
Dan’s hand stroking the length of her arm woke her. Warm breath tickled the back of her neck and she fought to hide the smile that bubbled up. She feigned sleep a little longer, wanting to enjoy the feeling for as long as she could.
“Hey.”
She cracked open one eye, slamming it shut at the brightness of the early morning sun. “We fell asleep.”
“You fell asleep,” he whispered against her skin.
Scrunching her toes in the cool sand, she let out a moan. Rolling over, she buried her face in his shoulder and rubbed her skin against the tattoo on his chest. “It’s gonna take forever to wash the sand away.”
“How quickly reality sets back in.”
“Oh, don’t start.” She raised her hand and allowed it to flop back down beside her in a demonstration of her lack of energy. Her glare quickly turned into a smile. “Hey,” she said softly, looking up into his face.
He ran a finger over the scars on her neck. “Hey.” He didn’t meet her eyes. Leaning forward, she pursed her lips. He turned his head away. She sat back. What did I do wrong? Did I snore?
“Last day.” His words drifted over her head as he peered into the distance.
“We weren’t going to talk about it, remember?”
“Won’t take long to fix those last switches.”
“Not talking, not listening.” She snatched up the shirt lying in the sand where they’d thrown it the night before. It was Dan’s. She tugged it on anyway, uncomfortable having her body so exposed to his eyes in the bright light of morning. Her scars were horrible. Searching for her shades, she located them beneath the blanket, grateful to find her protection against the burn of the sun. When she looked back, Dan stood beside the blanket, looking out across the beach to the repaired ship. His shoulders were a tense line. Toni hesitated. He regrets last night. Her stomach tightened as goosepimples rose all over her skin.
“Dan?” It came out a whisper.
When he spun around he was still naked, but it was her pistol in his hand that shocked her. She stumbled back. “What?” Her foot slipped in the soft sand, and she fell.
