“That must have sucked.”
“It did.”
“And each dog, or set of dogs, has its own special job, right?”
“Right. Kodiak and Truman are in charge. They set the pace and follow my commands and keep the other dogs in line. They’re the ones I’m talking to when I command anything at all. Then Hester and Frank help steer the team around corners. They create an arc to force the others to stay on the trail, because otherwise the other dogs try to jump off the trail to follow the lead dogs who’ve already made the turn, which can cause the sled to tip.”
“And Scout and Moose?” Hayley asked, taking off her mitten and offering her hand for Scout to sniff.
“Whereas Kodiak and Truman are the brains of the team, Scout and Moose are the brawn. The workhorses. And then my wheel dogs, Bo and Buster, they’re my biggest, as you can see. They take on the weight of the sled and musher first, which for me is usually about four hundred pounds including gear, so imagine going uphill. They’re also my most patient guys, because they’ve got to deal with me constantly jumping on and off the sled and running alongside them. So, if all goes well, these are their positions, but I change them up if I need to.”
“They look eager to get going.”
“They are,” Josh said.
She looked at the ones remaining, the ones who’d be left behind, and felt sorry for them. “Why are the other dogs howling?”
Josh smiled. “I like to think they’re showing solidarity with the team. Telling them to go on ahead, they’ll hold down the fort when they’re gone, and to have a good run. Come here, let’s get you situated.”
He helped her get seated at the front of the sled and tucked a wool blanket over her legs, leaving her feeling like a pea in a pod. Bruce brought out the Thermos and packed it into the supplies. He then went to the feed station and brought back a supply of snacks for the dogs and piled it in as well.
“Frozen whitefish,” Bruce said, anticipating Hayley’s question.
Josh jogged up and down the line once, checking a few last things, and the dogs went crazy, clamoring to get on the trail. As he passed her, he smiled at Hayley, a wicked-adventurous smile that made her weak at the knees and excited at the same time.
“Ready?”
“Yes, as soon as I get a few more pictures. Can you run up and down the line again, and give me your best smile?”
“Action shot,” he said. “You bet.”
Bruce made a few teasing comments to Josh so his smiles were genuine, and Hayley was thankful. She could tell the pair was extremely close, and as she always did when she witnessed honest affection between a parent and child, she felt wistful and sad and a little envious. She thought of her own father and it was a tight knot of pain in her heart, like an old scar made sensitive by a change in the weather. In sunny Miami, Hayley had known nothing but cold. Here in knee-deep snow, she felt the warmth between Josh and his father—and hell, the warmth in Josh’s eyes when he looked at her—and the contrast almost brought her to tears.
She directed her thoughts into happier channels, a technique she’d learned from long-ago therapy, and smiled back at Josh as he climbed into his standing position on the sled behind her. She put her camera away, ready to enjoy the ride. Her blood quickened with excitement. The dogs, too, could barely contain themselves.
“How far are you going?” Bruce asked.
“Eight or ten miles,” Josh said. “I’m picking up Maggie at work at four, so we don’t have too long. Her flight’s at six, and I’m covering someone’s shift tonight starting at seven.”
“That’s right,” Bruce said. “I’ve got a dentist appointment, so I’m heading into town myself. Text me if you want to meet for dinner before you head into work.”
“Will do,” Josh said.
“Have a good run. Hayley, it was nice meeting you.”
“It was great to meet you, too, Bruce.”
“Okay, guys,” Josh called to the dogs. “Hike!”
A feeling of magic came over Hayley as the sled started forward, moving swiftly onto the snowy forest trail. Behind them, the sound of the dogs left in the kennel faded, and she felt as if they were leaving the world behind and entering a primordial one.
So much of Alaska had never been settled, and some towns were so remote they were unreachable in bad weather. In 1925, dogs just like these had delivered life-saving medicine to Nome, running more than six hundred miles in six days in a white-out blizzard to bring the serum that would fight against a diphtheria outbreak, which had been predicted to wipe out the entire town of ten thousand. Every Alaskan knew about that run; it was taught in every state history class, and as Hayley was pulled by the descendants of those heroic dogs, she felt their place in history so firmly. She felt honored to be along for the ride.
She was surprised she and Josh could talk so easily as the dogs ran. He stood directly behind where she sat, and she was able to ask him questions about the dogs and how they trained, as well as about his experiences racing. He talked easily, occasionally calling “Gee!” or “Haw!”, telling the dogs to turn left or right, and Hayley felt a thrill of danger as the sled made the turn.
She didn’t notice the cold. What she did notice was the utter silence, save for the breathing of the dogs and the sled sweeping across the snow. She could see why mushing spoke to Josh, a man who helped so many and had witnessed so much. The forest would be his head-clearing place, the dogs his easy companions.
“I see why you like this,” she said. “Something about it feels purifying.”
“There’s lots of time to think, but you’ve got to be entirely present, too, for the dogs. Especially when racing. There’s no idle time.”
“So your brain’s working right now? Because mine feels like mush. Like pleasant nothingness.” The afterglow of their coupling had melted the tension out of Hayley’s body. Now it was her mind that felt increasingly relaxed.
“My brain’s busy,” he said. “I’m trying to measure their pace without checking my GPS, making sure the line’s taut. I’m seeing who’s having a good day. Who’s upset by the way they bristle their hair or arch their back. I know these dogs so well I can almost tell what they’re thinking and vice versa. I’m watching the trail in front of us, trying to anticipate what they’re going to do next.” He was silent for a while, then said, “We’ll stop at the halfway point a little further ahead and take a break. Have our cocoa and then head on back, if that sounds good.”
She said it did and stopped asking him questions then, finding she wanted to be swallowed up in the vast silence, which felt safe only because she was with Josh.
“Easy,” he called eventually, placing pressure on the brake. “Whoa,” he cried a little further on, putting both feet on the brake and bringing the dogs to a full stop in a small clearing. “Whoa, whoa, hah! Good work, team.”
He jumped off the sled and walked the gangline, giving each dog some appreciation. He lingered with Scout and felt his right hind leg, studying the dog’s expression as he put pressure on the leg.
“Is he hurt?” Hayley asked as she extricated herself from the sled, the pea from her pod.
“I’m not sure,” he said. “I’m going to switch him out with Hester on the way back, see if it helps. Take some of the brunt of the weight off him.”
He unlatched both of Scout’s clips from the gangline and held him by the harness.
“Here, could you hold him for a minute?”
“Sure.”
“Give him a firm grip.”
Josh passed the holding of Scout’s harness to her and went to Hester to unlatch her. Hayley had never had a dog growing up; in fact, as a child she’d been bitten by a German Shepherd once and another time been backed into a corner by a Great Dane. The truth was, large dogs made her nervous, so when Scout barked and jumped aggressively, trying to go to Josh, Hayley instinctively backed away, dropping her hold on his harness in the process.
And just like that, the dog was loose.
&nbs
p; “Josh!”
His look was one of disbelief when he saw her without the dog, and when he saw the dog darting away into the woods. He stood and shouted, “Scout, stay!” He cupped his hands around his mouth so the sound would carry, but Scout was already at least a hundred feet away, a black-and-white flash of fur in the monochrome forest. “STAY, boy, STAY!”
His tone was commanding but Hayley sensed a frantic undertone. Based on their overwhelming barking and yipping, so did the remaining dogs.
“I’m so sorry, Josh.” She felt awful. “He jumped and pulled, and I got scared.”
“Why’d you take him in the first place if you couldn’t handle him?”
“I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to. I—”
“SCOUT!” he shouted. “COME! Shit.”
Josh’s worried expression was upsetting. It was the first time Hayley had seen him look, feel, and be anything other than completely in control of himself and his surroundings. He’d rescued the guy who’d fallen through the ice into the freezing pond like it was all in a day’s work, which it was. But dogs had minds of their own, especially huskies. Hayley had seen news stories over the years about sled dogs who got loose during the Iditarod—search teams scoured the area for them, hoping to find the dog before wolves did. Sometimes they were successful, but usually not.
“He’s one my newest dogs, and he’s the opposite of submissive. SCOUT!” he called. “Come here, buddy!”
“Why would he take off like that?”
“Because it’s what they do. Shit. I need to get my sister to the airport, but I need to go after him.”
He grabbed the bag of frozen whitefish and took a handful. The other dogs went crazy barking, thinking they’d be snacking soon. But Josh started off after Scout.
“Should I come, too?” Hayley asked. “Maybe go in a different direction?”
“No, you need to stay here. The last thing I need is to have to do a search and rescue on you, too.”
He jogged into the forest, calling for the dog. Feeling chastened, Hayley watched as he went off the well-beaten trail into the virgin forest, following Scout’s paw prints. He’d be up to his knees in snow, and it would be cold, wet, and slow going. Hayley didn’t see how he’d be able to catch up.
“It’s okay, dogs,” she said to the others, keeping her distance from them, not wanting them to jump on her or lunge at her. They stood barking and howling impatiently. Alone with them, they seemed so wild, so untamed. So obviously descended from wolves.
She checked her phone for a cell signal, but as she expected they were out of range. Darkness was falling, the temperature was dropping, and the wind was picking up. With each passing minute, she grew more nervous about Josh’s whereabouts. What if he got lost out there?
When he finally came back, Hayley could feel his dejection. The dogs took their crazy to a new level, and their barking grated on her nerves.
“No luck?” she said, stating the obvious but not knowing what else to say.
“No, and I need to get Maggie to the airport. And then I’m standing in for someone at work starting at seven, and I can’t not show.” He came over to her, eyeing her mood.
“Josh, I’m so sorry. I can’t begin to say how sorry I am.”
“I have a favor to ask. If Scout’s out here after dark, a wolf’s going to get him, and I don’t think he can find his way home on his own. I don’t want to leave him out here, but I need to get back.” He paused, and she waited for what would come next, dread seeping into her heart. “Huskies have a fantastic sense of smell. It’s their best sense, and what I’d like to do is tie a piece of my clothing to a tree out here, so he can follow my scent when he’s ready to come back.”
Hayley stood still, unsure where he was going but not liking the slow, deliberate way he was explaining things to her, as if he knew she wasn’t going to like what came next.
“And?”
“I’m hoping you’d be willing to wait here for the dog—just for a little while.” He sped up his words. “I’ll set up the cook stove, and you can heat up some food for Scout—that might bring him back, too. I’ll take the other dogs back and send my dad out here on the snowmobile to get you. You wouldn’t be out here for more than an hour, tops, and probably way less.”
Hayley felt the fringes of panic start to creep in. “Your dad went into town, remember? He had a dentist appointment.”
“I’ll call him as soon as I get back into cell phone range, and if he’s not already back, I’ll make sure he comes back fast. I just—if we leave the dog, I have no hope of finding him, and it’d kill me to know he’s going to meet a bad end. Especially because it’s my fault.”
“I’m the one who let go of him,” she said, her voice cracking.
“I should never have asked you to hold onto him in the first place. I should have tied him around a tree. It would have taken less than a minute. I shouldn’t have assumed you could handle him.”
“Josh, I just—” She stopped. “It’s cold and windy and getting dark and scary.”
“I know it is.”
He knew it was below freezing and windy and getting dark. He knew, and he was asking her anyway—because he had no fear and no idea how opposite she was from him in that regard. He’s leaving me here, she thought, leaving me alone. Because I screwed up, which is what I do. That self-accusatory voice from the past reared its ugliness inside her at full strength, making her feel incapable and small.
“What if I get lost?”
“How would you? I know where you are, and you’re right on the trail. Just don’t go wandering off.”
She felt herself shaking and knew it wasn’t from the cold.
“You’ll be fine,” he said. “The snowsuit you have on is literally the warmest on Earth. It was made for expeditions in the Antarctic. I’ll leave you a flashlight and a lantern, and you’ll have the cook stove going. And you know what—I’ll leave one of the dogs out here with you, which might draw him in, too.”
“What about wolves?”
“They don’t attack humans.”
“What about that one woman? The teacher down south? She was attacked and died.”
“That was, like, six years ago,” he said. “And it was the only wolf attack ever reported in Alaska.”
“But what if that same wolf is out here right now?” She looked around at the vast, lonely forest, the shadows growing long as the sun sank toward the tops of the trees. “What if he’s just waiting for you to leave?”
“There were two wolves in that attack six years ago, and both were shot and killed,” Josh said with a touch of impatience. “Do you want me to leave the rifle with you?”
“I don’t know how to use it,” Hayley said, on the brink of tears.
“Okay. But I’ll leave my emergency beacon, and my GPS programmed for home so if you want to come back along the trail, you can. But you shouldn’t, because my dad will be out here to get you in less than an hour. He’ll come with the snowmobile. You should stay right here and wait for him.” He gripped both her arms. “Are we good? Can you do this for me?”
How could she say no when she’d made the mess in the first place?
“How will he know where I am?”
“I’ll give him your coordinates, and he’ll see the lantern light. Plus, he’ll see you. This is the main trail we take every day. He knows it like the back of his hand. He’s lived in this area for forty years.”
She shook her head. Had it really only been a few hours ago that they were in Josh’s bedroom, warm and naked and together?
“Okay, I’ll stay.” She tried to view the situation as a test, and she wanted to pass it. “If you promise I’ll be okay.”
“Hayley, I’m on the search and rescue team. I absolutely wouldn’t ask if there was any chance of you coming to harm, nor would I ask if we had another choice.”
“What if I go back and you stay?” she said. “I could take Maggie to the airport, and you could stay out here a little longer.”
“Would you know how to drive the sled?”
“No, but I could walk.”
“It would take you too long. You wouldn’t be back before dark, and I wouldn’t be comfortable with that.”
Sighing, she tried to summon her courage. “Do you really think Scout will come back?”
“I think there’s a decent chance because it’s close to night feeding time and the scent might draw him back. But there’s no chance if he doesn’t make it back here to where he ran off.”
“Okay,” she said bracingly. “I’ll stay.”
“Thank you, Hayley. I mean it.”
Josh worked fast and got the cooking burner set up, lit it, and put snow in the pot to melt. He explained to her how to heat the stash of dog food he’d packed by boiling the water and then dumping it into the small cooler over the food. She was then to let it unfreeze before ladling some into a bowl.
“Got it?” he asked.
“Got it,” she said, repeating back the instructions.
“Perfect. You can feed Moose, and then set a bowl out for Scout and call to him. Just keep calling, and hopefully he’ll hear you and smell the food, and he’ll come on back.”
He pulled a tarp, a wool blanket, and a sleeping bag from the sled—just to be safe, he told her, reminding her the tarp would be used beneath the sleeping bag—as well as a tie out for Moose, the dog he was leaving behind. He lit a bright propane lantern and set it on a fallen log. Finally, he tucked a few packs of beef jerky into her pocket and told her to munch on them if she got hungry.
She stood with a false smile pasted on her face, trying not to drown in the foreboding she felt about being left behind. She nodded and said okay to everything he told her to do, and dutifully listened as he explained how to use the GPS unit he was leaving with her. She could tell he knew she was nervous, but Hayley could see he’d already made up his mind about their course of action.
She told herself to keep it together as Josh climbed onto the sled, got the team turned around, and paused before leaving.
“An hour,” he said. “I’m sure it won’t be more.”
Bring Your Heart (Golden Falls Fire Book 2) Page 18
