‘Let me hold him,’ Donna called out. ‘Alessi, I want to hold him.’
Alessi didn’t say anything at that point, at least not to Donna. Instead, he spoke to the little boy.
‘Hello, beautiful baby,’ he said, and Isla felt tears prick at the backs of her eyes as Alessi did his best to shut out Donna’s pleas to hold her baby and instead did everything he could to give this little life a chance. ‘Do you have a name for your son?’ Alessi asked.
‘Archie,’ Donna said, and then lay back on the pillow, exhausted and defeated, aching to hold her son but knowing he needed the skill of the medical team now.
Isla did her best to comfort Donna as the team worked on. There was no way to see what was happening. Alessi, the anaesthetist and two neonatal nurses were around the resuscitation cot. They could hear the baby’s fast heart rate on the monitor and Alessi issuing instructions. The mood was markedly more urgent than it had been for Elijah, and Donna started to cry.
‘I just want to hold him,’ Donna said to Isla.
‘I know you do,’ Isla said. ‘But right now he needs to be with the medical team—they’re doing everything they can for him.’
It was an interminable wait, made all the more difficult because Donna’s husband called to say that he had landed. When Donna couldn’t speak Isla took over the call and Alessi glanced up at the calmness in her voice as she introduced herself to the distraught husband.
‘Tom, Donna is exhausted and upset but we’re taking care of her. Elijah was born first and has been taken up to the neonatal intensive care unit, and Archie …’ she glanced over and met Alessi’s sombre gaze ‘… is being worked on by the team now. We hope to get him up to the intensive care unit soon.’ She took a breath. ‘Have you cleared customs? Good, go over to the information desk and explain what’s happening and hopefully they can see you to the front of the taxi queue.’ There was another pause. ‘They’re very premature, Tom. Right now the team are doing their best for your sons.’
It wasn’t an easy call but somehow she did her best not to scare Tom while still conveying the need for him to get there urgently because it was clear that Archie especially was struggling. That was confirmed when Alessi came over and spoke to Donna, his expression grim. ‘Donna, I am very concerned for Archie. I want to move him up to NICU where we can do some more tests on him and where there is more equipment …’
‘I want to hold him.’
‘I know you do,’ Alessi said, ‘but we are not at that stage—Archie is fighting and I will do everything I can to assist him in that. For now we’ll bring him over so you can have a little look at him. He’s very beautiful …’
The incubator was wheeled over. Archie looked like a little washed-up frog, but Alessi was right—he was a very beautiful baby. ‘Put your hand in,’ Alessi said, and Donna did, stroking his little cheek and then holding his fingers. ‘I’m going to take him up. I also want to see how his brother is doing. As soon as I can I’ll come and speak with you or I’ll send someone else if I am busy with them.’
‘Thank you. If something happens …’ Donna couldn’t say it but Alessi did.
‘If either of the twins takes a turn for the worse you will be told, Donna, and the staff here will do everything they can to get you to your babies. Right now, though, I need to get him to NICU.’
‘Mummy loves you,’ Donna said, and Isla felt her heart twist, and for once she was struggling to keep up her cool mask. She wanted to go over to Alessi, to tell him to just give Donna her baby, to accept the inevitable and give them this precious time.
It wasn’t her place to, though. Donna had made it clear before the twins’ birth that she wanted everything possible done for her sons. It was for Isla to support that decision now.
It was a long and difficult day. Isla went through the birth with Flick and all that had happened. Donna’s husband arrived and he went up to NICU. Though Donna ached to go and see her twins she had a small bleed after delivery and wasn’t well enough to go up till much later in the day.
Isla went with her.
First they saw Elijah, the tiny, though relatively bigger, twin. ‘It seems impossible …’ Donna said, and Isla just stood back and let her have the time with her son. She looked over to the next cot and Alessi was there and caught her eyes, his expression still grim.
When Isla took Donna over she knew why.
Donna completely broke down when she saw her little man hooked up to so many machines.
‘He’s not well enough to be held,’ Alessi said. ‘Just talk to him, he’ll know your voice.’
Alessi, Isla noted, looked exhausted. He was also incredibly patient and kind. For close to a year she had dismissed him as some sort of killer flirt and had avoided him at all costs.
Now there was no avoiding him.
On Friday, at the end of a long shift, at the end of a very long week, she walked into her office to find Alessi sitting there with Jessica, the twins’ older sister.
‘Excuse me.’ Alessi glanced up as she came in. ‘I was just speaking with Donna, and Jessica asked if she could have a word. I just came to the nearest room.’
‘That’s fine.’ Isla smiled. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’
‘No, don’t go,’ Alessi said. ‘Jessica was just telling me that she’s too nervous to see the twins but that her mother thinks that she should.’
‘Do you want to see them?’ Isla asked.
‘I don’t know,’ Jessica admitted. ‘I’ve seen their photos and there are so many machines.’
‘NICU can be a scary place,’ Isla said. ‘Alessi is actually coming to speak to my Teenage Mums-To-Be group, in a few weeks’ time, to prepare them in case their babies have to go there. It can be a bit overwhelming but once you get past the machines you’ll see your brothers.’
‘That is what I was just telling Jessica,’ Alessi agreed. ‘They are very cute. Elijah is very much the big brother. Stoic and very strong, he doesn’t like to cry or make a fuss …’
‘And Archie?’ Jessica asked, and Isla heard the twist in the young girl’s voice.
‘He’s way too cute,’ Alessi said, and Isla smiled at the genuine warmth in his voice as he went on to tell Jessica about her youngest brother. ‘His eyes have just opened and he loves the sound of voices, he really does calm down when he hears someone say his name.’
‘I used to talk to him when Mum was pregnant,’ Jessica said.
‘Then he would know your voice.’ Alessi smiled but then looked over when Isla’s cool voice broke in.
‘Are you scared to love them, Jessica?’ she asked, and Alessi could only blink in surprise. Isla asked the tough questions and had clearly got straight to the difficult point because Jessica nodded and started crying. ‘I’m guessing you already do love them,’ Isla said.
‘They might die, though.’
‘I know,’ Isla said. ‘And I know that is so hard to even begin to deal with, but whatever is going to happen you can still have some time with them and let yourself be their big sister. Would you like me to come and spend some time with them with you?’
Clearly it was what Jessica did want because half an hour later, instead of collapsing on the sofa and being grateful that it was the start of Friday night and the end of a long week, Isla was up on NICU with Jessica.
There was no place she would rather be, though. Watching as Jessica’s fear was replaced by smiles, seeing little Archie’s eyes flicker and possibly, possibly a hint of a smile on his lips was time well spent indeed. They took photos and Jessica let her friends know all about her two brothers via social media.
‘I’m off.’ Alessi stood by the incubator. He had changed out of scrubs and was wearing black jeans and a gunmetal-grey top and he looked like the man who had made her heart flip over on sight all those months ago. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he said to Isla.
‘There’s a big ball tomorrow night,’ Isla explained to Jessica. ‘Alessi’s getting an award.’
‘And I’ll see you on
Monday,’ he said to little Archie. ‘In the meantime, behave.’ He nodded his head in the direction of the corridor and Isla excused herself from Jessica, who was holding her brother’s tiny hand. ‘It’s good she’s had some time with them.’
‘I know.’ Isla smiled. ‘It’s going to be tough on her. How do you think Archie—’
‘It’s minute by minute,’ Alessi interrupted, the inevitable answer because there were no guarantees in NICU and especially not with a baby who was so fragile and small. ‘Just take the good times, that’s all you can do sometimes. Are you off now?’
Isla paused before answering; she had a feeling, more than a feeling that they were on the edge of something. That if she said yes, then she’d be joining him for dinner tonight, or for drinks, or for …
Isla looked into his black eyes and there was an absence of fear. Yes, she knew, given his reputation, it could only ever be fleeting. She knew, too, that she couldn’t tell him her truth—he would surely run a mile—yet she knew she was ready.
For him.
Yet, while she wanted to say yes, some things came first. ‘I think I’m going to be here for as long as Jessica wants me to be.’
‘Fair enough.’ Alessi smiled. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, then.’
‘You shall.’
‘Funny, but I’m actually looking forward to it now.’
She knew what he meant and her answer told him the same. ‘So am I.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
ISLA WASN’T FEELING quite so brave the next morning, though there was still a flutter of anticipation in her stomach for the coming night as she downed a grapefruit juice before heading into work for a couple of hours.
‘Haven’t you got a ball that you’re supposed to be getting ready for?’ Darcie teased as they headed out the door.
‘I’m getting my hair done at two,’ Isla said.
‘I guess you’ve got this type of thing down to an art. Still, if I were going to a ball instead of working this weekend, I’d need more than a hair appointment to get me ball-ready! What are you wearing?’
‘Black,’ Isla said. ‘Or red, I haven’t decided. All I know is that I’ve got a mountain in my inbox that needs to be scaled. The weekends when I’m not officially there are the only times I can get anything done on the paperwork front.’
Instead of taking the tram, they walked. Darcie wasn’t on until nine and Isla wasn’t officially working anyway, so they took their time, enjoying the morning and stopping at Isla’s favourite café. She picked up a coffee and a pastry to have at her desk and Darcie did the same.
‘I love the food here,’ Darcie groaned. She’d really taken to the café culture of Melbourne and Isla was only too happy to show her her favourite haunts. Once on the MMU, Darcie took her breakfast to the staffroom to get handover from Sean, and instead of saying hi to the staff Isla headed straight for the quiet of her office. She was just unlocking the door when she saw Alessi walking down the corridor.
‘I thought you were off this weekend?’ Isla frowned.
‘Not any more—I got called in at four,’ Alessi said. ‘I’ve just been speaking with Donna and her husband.’
He followed her into the office. ‘Archie had a large cerebral haemorrhage overnight. We’re taking down all the equipment and letting nature take its course. Emily is about to take them up to NICU to have some time with him.’
‘Oh, poor Donna …’
‘Poor Archie,’ Alessi said. ‘He’s such a fighter …’ And then, to Isla’s surprise, Alessi cried. Not a lot, but he’d been tired already and being called in at four to find hope had gone and sharing the news with Archie’s loving family all caught up with him and Alessi did let out a couple of tears.
Isla just stood there, more than a touch frozen. She wasn’t very good with her own emotions, let alone dealing with Alessi’s, and her lack of response didn’t go unnoticed.
‘You’re much kinder to your patients when they’re upset,’ Alessi pointed out, and gave a wry smile as he gathered himself back together as Isla still stood there.
She could cope when it was a patient; she could survive only by staying a step back. Alessi made her want to take that step forward but she just didn’t know how.
‘I just hate it that he had everything stacked against him. Had he been a girl he’d have been stronger,’ Alessi said. ‘Or had it been a single pregnancy at twenty-four weeks … even if he’d been the first to be born, he’d have had more of a chance, but everything that could go wrong went wrong for him.’
‘Maybe he’s getting to you because he’s a twin, too …’ Isla offered.
‘They all get to me,’ Alessi said. ‘Though Archie has more than most—he really did want to live.’ He looked at Isla. Was it exhaustion that made him be honest, or was it simply that it was her? ‘I’m not actually a twin. I was the second born of triplets, with Allegra the last. My brother was the firstborn and died when he was five days old.’
The same age as Archie.
‘Is that why you’re so driven?’ Isla asked.
‘Oh, I’m driven now, am I?’ Alessi teased. ‘Last week you were warning me away from your staff.’
‘It would seem you’re both.’
Alessi shrugged. ‘I guess. You feel you have to make up for all the opportunities that they never had.’
She remembered the black-sheep comment that Allegra had made about Alessi, and curiosity got the better of her now for she wanted to know more about him. ‘Did your parents push you?’
Alessi nodded. ‘You know, apparently, Geo, my brother, would never have spoken back to them. In fact, he’d be married by now and would have given them grandchildren.’
Isla smiled.
‘And he wouldn’t have given up piano at fifteen or …’ Alessi shook his head. Things were moving closer to a painful part of his past than he would like, so he wrapped it up there. ‘The list goes on. I really feel for Elijah, too. If he makes it.’
She watched as Alessi yawned. She could see he was exhausted and if it were any of her staff Isla would have told them to go home.
‘Shouldn’t you let Jed take over Archie’s care?’ Isla ventured, referring to the neonatologist on this weekend. ‘You’ve been here all week and you’ve got a big night tonight. Surely you need—’
‘What I need,’ Alessi interrupted, ‘are three things from you.’
‘Three things?’
‘Your coffee and whatever smells good in that bag …’
‘What’s the third?’ Isla said, handing them over.
‘If I don’t get there tonight, can you give my speech for me?’
‘Alessi, you’re up for an award, I think it’s taken as a given that you’ll be there. My father—’
‘Archie is having seizures,’ Alessi interrupted. ‘Violent ones, and they aren’t nice for his family to see. Jessica wants to be there also and I want his death to be as gentle and as pain-free as possible. I want to be there for him. I’m sorry if it upsets your father that I might not make it but right now Archie is my priority.’
Alessi waited. He knew she was about to protest and he actually wanted her to. That was his tipping point. When anyone tried to come between him and his work Alessi walked away very easily. He wanted not to get in too deep; he wanted her to insist that he be there tonight. Instead, she nodded her assent.
‘Fine,’ she said, though her father would think it anything but fine if Alessi didn’t show up. ‘What do you want me to say on your behalf?’
‘Whatever is said at such things. I’m sure you’ll give an excellent speech,’ Alessi said.
‘That sounds like an insult.’
It was, actually. He looked at her, so completely calm and unruffled, even as he had broken down, and knew she’d be the same tonight. ‘Do any of them get to you?’
‘Sorry?’
‘I remember the night we met. You were all animated, completely enthralled about a baby that had just been delivered.’ He watched her cheeks redden and rather t
han leave things there he chose to pursue them. ‘I’ve seen you elated but I’ve never seen you upset and, though avoiding each other, we’ve still found ourselves working together at times.’
‘When have I avoided you?’
‘Come off it, Isla,’ Alessi said. ‘And don’t avoid the question. Do any of them get to you?’
‘I don’t let them get to me,’ Isla said, hopefully slamming the door closed on that observation, but Alessi wrenched it straight back open.
‘That would take an awful lot of self-control.’
‘Not really.’ She tried to keep her voice even.
‘Yes, really. Otherwise it would mean that you’re completely burnt out and I don’t believe that you are.’
‘You don’t know me,’ Isla said.
‘I know that I don’t, because a year ago I could have sworn that we were getting on, that we were enjoying each other’s company, that you wanted me as much as I wanted you,’ he said. ‘Yet it would seem I was wrong.’ Isla wanted to tear her eyes from his but somehow she made herself hold his gaze.
‘I may be wrong now,’ Alessi said, and Isla knew that she could turn and head to her desk and he would go, but she didn’t. Instead, she stood there as he continued speaking, the air between them crackling with tension. ‘The thing is, I won’t put myself in that position again. You’ll never give me that look again, Isla …’
She wanted to point out that she wasn’t giving him that look now; she wanted to point out that she wasn’t turning and walking off. The air seemed too thick for her lungs and Isla’s eyes flicked to his mouth, to his soft, full lips, and she wanted to place hers there, or for his mouth to move to hers, but Alessi just stood his ground.
‘When you’re ready to apologise for that night …’
‘Apologise?’ Isla gave an incredulous smile.
Alessi didn’t return the smile. ‘Yes, apologise,’ he confirmed. ‘The next move is yours.’
‘I’m not with you.’
‘You’ll kiss me, Isla.’
‘And if I don’t?’
Just One Night? Page 8
