So, she put super glue on our surf boards so that our feet were stuck to them all day until their dad discovered us on the shore hours later trying to still peel it all off. He was both furious and amused. That was the day I was first invited over for dinner.
And wow, those dinners were amazing.
Mrs. Danvers was an amazing cook. Although I felt jealously stir in my gut at seeing their happy family, they made me feel welcome and for a first time since my father’s death, I felt less alone. I think their parents took pity on me too, knowing my home life wasn’t completely great. I was down their house more often than I was at my own.
I smiled a true genuine smile while I told Flint how Mrs. Danvers was such a kind lady. She reached out to my mom, telling her that I will be living with them until she sorts herself out. After a few trial and errors my mom became my mom again.
I will always be grateful for that.
Mr. Danvers was just as kind and had a wicked sense of humor. He treated me like a son and took me under his wing. He was my role model and a father figure. He actually was responsible for the love that Deacon, Dillon, and I have for surfing.
I explained in detail how both they and their parents had turned into the missing link to my family.
And with great sadness I somberly tell him, the day Mr. and Mrs. Danvers died only three months before Deacon and Dillon’s eighteenth birthday. They have no other family so it was left for them to do all the preparations, though my mom and I helped. They were so close to the legal age that they never had to go into the system. We were all grateful for that. It hurt seeing my best friends suffer, but also the pain of losing what I felt to me was second parents. They died when we were in the final year in high school. It was how Deacon and Marissa met. They were going to a therapy group for orphaned teens. When she first laid eyes on Deacon and Dillon, she liked Dill immediately but hated him. She thought he was too cocky. It was amusing to watch this five-foot-nothing girl, put him in his place.
I liked her instantly.
Eventually, Deacon wore her down like he did with everyone and they crossed the line from hate to love effortlessly. So, although they had lost their parents they gained someone too.
I even found myself confessing on auto pilot to the day I finally realized I liked Dillon more than just a friend. I was scared of the love growing inside of me. How, at that point she had turned from my family to my lifeline. I was determined to make her smile for the rest of my life.
I told him, somewhat nervously and self-consciously in a small voice, how I wanted to marry her.
I just kept talking and talking and talking. Right up until my ultimate fuck up. When I got to that point, my vocal chords froze. I pause to take a sip of water, noticing how the sun has shifted towards the other side of the street, casting us in shadows.
It has to be early afternoon now.
I fiddle with my bottle, looking down, not sure I want to tread into those waters just yet.
"Wow, so what happened? She obviously felt the same way, so what did you do about it?" Flint gently urges me back along.
"I don't know man." I grunt, taking the chicken way out and breaking eye contact with him. Flint huffs realizing that I’m lying.
"I think you do. But I am not here to judge, I am here to help you figure it out." he says quietly in a calm and patient voice. I stare into space, weighing the pros and cons. I take a deep breath and hold it in. This is the moment it can go down one of two roads.
"Just talk," Flint says gently to me again. I blink, coming out from staring into space only to stare at him for a few seconds, my pulse ringing in my ears.
I let out an exhale then nod sharply.
"Deacon and Dillon’s birthday was always the last week of each school year. And on our senior year not long after losing their parents, they didn’t feel like having a celebration but I wanted to do something nice. So, I planned a surprise party anyway. I didn’t want their final school year and big birthday to just go by because they would have eventually regretted it. They needed to take their mind off everything.” I sigh running my hand through my hair.
“At this point I knew Dillon had finally started to reciprocate my feelings, so I had planned to tell her everything the night of their birthday to make things extra special. I even went as far as getting her a promise ring, I really had it all planned out. I wanted to pull her aside after everyone left their party and just confess everything to her. If she were to decide to take the plunge with me, I would present her the ring. I remember being so nervous and my palms were so sweaty. I kept fidgeting with the ring in my pocket every five minutes, because I knew in my heart that she was my forever."
I think back and remember how gorgeous she looked in a pale peach sundress; she had curled her hair expertly and left it flowing down her smooth exposed back. She never wore too much make up, something I absolutely love about her. She always lets her true beauty shine through.
"Well, everything was going like I had planned, the party was a big hit and they both ended up loving it. When it started to wind down I walked over to Dillon and told her to meet me outside in five minutes. She looked up at me with eyes full of love and trust. Can you imagine it? The girl I’ve been pining over for so long. I shit you not; I felt like my heart would combust with so much joy, I couldn't wait those five more minutes. And she readily agreed to meet me.”
Flint smirks at that but I ignore him.
“Anyway, I walked towards the back door, buzzing, my mind going over everything I need to say to her. I had a speech I’ve been practicing for so long. I drank some liquid courage which happened to be warm, flat beer. I had a cat shitting grin on my face, well, that was until I reached the back door just as Deacon called out for me. I stopped, feeling annoyed and turned around. He was staring in the direction of his sister, I followed his gaze. It was only then that I realized that this Thomas guy was next to her. Unknown to me, Thomas McCoy captain of the football team had been flirting with her for some time. He was well known for being sleazy and talking shit about the ladies he’s been out with behind their back.” I sigh running a hand through my hair agitated.
“Hell, I barely noticed him flirting with her much less anything else that night." I laugh a self-deprecating chuckle and see Flint shake his head slightly.
“Deacon set his hand down on my shoulder and said, 'When we get to college in the fall we are going to have to keep a closer eye on her. She will need her two big brothers there to keep the scum bags away." I pause to gather my breath and notice Flint wince a little.
"Yeah," I scoff.“That was almost my exact same reaction. I had taken all this time into planning what I wanted to tell Dillon that I completely forgot that I needed to get Deacon’s approval first. My mind when on over drive and my heart grew heavy. Then my stomach dropped because I knew Deacon wouldn't have appreciated me going after his little sister, he had told me so over and over again. So basically, I freaked and managed to mumble an agreement then an excuse to get away from him. I darted out of the back door and started sucking my lungs full of air. I mean, here I was, caught between a rock and a hard surface. I had just told the one woman I knew I wanted to be with forever to meet me outside to tell her just that, and my best friend, brother for all intents and purposes wanting me to maintain the brother roll. I knew in that moment if I told Dillon everything that I would ruin the family we had become." I take another pause to take a sip of water. My throat is dry.
How long has it been since I’ve talked this much? Hell, to even have a full conversation? I scratch at my now smooth chin.
"So, what did you do?" Flint asks after taking his own sip of water. I screw up my face as the images of Dillon from that night start taking root in my mind.
Crap!
I throw my shields up as soon as I realize my emotions are running rampant once more, but I still catch the look on Flint's face.
Shit, he must have seen some of it.
I squeeze my water bottle hard, until the water f
lows over my hand. I look down at it detachedly, blinking.
Ugh, didn’t mean to do that.
I put the now empty bottle down and flick out my hand, getting the floor wet. I use the sweaty towel from earlier to dry my hand.
Seeing as he saw some it, I may as well go for broke and tell him the rest.
I suck in a huge breath of air and finished my story.
"Well, I decided that I couldn't ruin our family, I saw Dillon walking towards the back door to come meet me. I panicked. I looked around the back yard and saw a junior girl who had been flirting with me for a couple of weeks and called her over. As soon as she walked up, I grabbed her by the neck and kissed her. I timed it perfectly so it happened just as Dillon had walked out the door. I kept kissing this girl until Dillon found us.
As a rule of thumb, neither I nor Deacon was ever physical with a girl in front of Dill even as his relationship with Marissa at that point was starting to blossom. So, for our entire senior year I had ignored every other girl in favor of only keeping my affections towards her. I knew she was expecting me to make a move for the past few weeks, and I had seen the excitement and expectation in her eyes earlier when I asked her to meet me." I look up to see Flint's eyebrows have almost disappeared into his hair line they are arched so high.
"You didn't," He tried to counter.
"Oh no, I did." I break eye contact once more and drop them to watch my fingers as they twirled the towel up. "I also saw the hurt in her eyes when she saw me kissing the girl." I didn't say to him how I also was close enough to see her eye pool up with tears, or how much of an ass I felt because not only had she not long lost her parents I then go ahead and shatter her heart. I don’t see the point in telling him how sick to my stomach I felt and how I hated myself. It really wasn't needed. I’m pretty sure he gets the point.
"What did she do?"
"She walked back inside and went back to pretending everything was normal. We graduated and settled back into a routine. What I didn’t know, was that Dillon had got an offer for a scholarship at the University of West Florida, up in Pensacola as well as the local college here too. I had assumed since we all talked about going to college together that this was still the plan. Dillon changed her mind. Two weeks after her birthday and graduation, she accepted early admissions to their summer program and packed up and moved. From then on she kept me at an arms distance; treating me the way she would with Deacon whenever she visited." I finish my sob story just as the circulation in my fingers are about to be cut off from clinging to the towel so tight.
"Oh man, I am sorry. Well, that explains some but still not everything." Flint tries to push for more.
"Dude, I think I can only handle one tragic story a day," I confess and he nods his head that he heard me.
I really don’t think he will like me if I told him the rest.
"Thanks for listening to my moaning," I say in complete seriousness.
"I have found things are always better to get off your chest than to hold on to." He states matter of fact. He is right; I do feel a fraction better since dumping that on his lap.
"I will be here if you ever want to tell me the rest."
"Thanks man, appreciate it," I earnestly mumble to him.
“Let’s get back to work; this bar won’t get done by itself.”I stand up, stretching out my limbs and get back to work; it’s time to take my mind of Dillon again and stop the emotions from drowning me.
***
About four hours later, I make my way outside to the back wall having replaced all but one window. As soon as I get to the window with large, pane of glass in my arms ready to put in place, I hear an all too familiar voice.
"Hello?"
My entire world freezes, I swallow down hard. My pulse is thumping so loud. Panic tightens my chest. I close my eyes not wanting to turn around.
That voice…
Flint peeks up from behind the bar and glances through the windows at us, luckily, they are only a short distance from him, and he has been rewiring some of the lights. We exchange a confused glance and then he lifts his eyebrows up in surprise. My hands start to get clammy; I have to grip the window glass harder. I withhold a groan as my arms start to shake; the glass starts to feel heavier by each second.
"I am sorry I didn't mean to interrupt; do you know where…oh hey!” she waves to Flint as soon as she spots him through one of the windows I have just put up; her every movement shown in the distorted glass. “I just wanted to come by and apologize for what happened."Dillon says hesitantly not yet noticing it’s me. My eyebrows knit together as sweat starts to glisten on my forehead.
God, even after all these years her voice still does it for me. Please don’t notice me! What are the odds of talking about her and here she is?
I try to keep my back to her, but the urge to see her beauty is hard to fight. My legs start to become unsteady as does my breathing. I really don’t know how long I can hold on to this pane of glass.
My mind starts to run rampant again with all these crazy scenarios, stuff that shouldn’t be possible since I last saw her. Somehow my mind keeps stuttering over one major thought... has she met someone special? Has she got married in the past eight months? My heart pounds almost painfully with the thought of her married with kids by now.
I need to see if she’s wearing a wedding ring.
As my luck would have it I choose the worst time to look over my shoulder, because as soon as I do her eyes lock on with mine. Her jaw goes slack as my heart freezes in my chest.
She is still extremely beautiful just like the last time I saw her. My mouth goes dry.
"Zephyr?" she squints and asks like she can't believe it. I don’t know what to do or say. So, I remain quiet for a few seconds. Then I finally find my courage from the awkward silence
"Hi Dill," I say meekly. My grip on the glass slips.
I can’t hold this any longer!
Placing it carefully on the ground, I groan internally stretching out my weak arms. I wipe my forehead on my shirt then give a pathetic half wave, quickly checking to see that, in fact, she wears no wedding band. I let out a sigh of relief.
Before I can comprehend what is about to happen, she is in front of my face and my cheek is stinging like mad. The smack resounds through the street and pain unlike any other annihilates my body.
Ah crap.
I go down, hard. It isn’t so much from her slapping me as it is from the searing pressure that has now infiltrated my head.
I can't believe he would have the nerve to act like shit was okay.
Her voice booms in my head so loud I have to cover my ears just as she shouts, "You son of a bitch"
A light trickle of wind starts to creep up my body and stir the sawdust on the ground. It soon becomes stronger, starting to come through the glassless window, making creepy sounds while the miniscule papers on the floor inside start to fly around. I need to get it under control but can’t seem to focus to get a grip on it.
"Nuh uh no, not again, you take that shit away from my bar." Flint booms out walking outside to us. I frown, feeling hurt and confused. Pressure keeps building up, the atmosphere feels tight as does my chest and head; I start to feel dizzy.
Shit! Something is going to happen.
"No stop!" Flint warns, just at the same time the windows in the panes start fissuring with cracks. The one on the sidewalk by my feet cracks completely. I look up and follow their path with my eyes widening, realizing the pressure my air element is forcing. I stagger standing up.
"Both of you calm down," Flint attempts, voice almost pleading.
"Don’t tell me to calm down again, this is me calm." Dillon says in a low voice, bristling even more which happens to be enough of a push. With a groan and a loud cracking sound, the panes of glass in all of the windows along the front wall bend inwards. There’s a momentary stillness until suddenly everything happens at once. The wind blows so strong, practically a gale, sawdust starts flying around more, getting in my eyes and
mouth. I feebly spit it out only to receive more. With a loud creak, the glass gives away in a sling shot like fashion, sending thousands of sharp, shattered pieces forward; towards us. With wide eyes, mouth gaping open, I rush to push Dillon down the same time Flint does. We smack heads, grunting, and all three of us tumble to the ground in completely disarray. We remain there for a few minutes listening to the tinkering and smashing sounds as the glass fall. We all are breathing heavy. I groan.
Shit!
I cough, spitting out more sawdust. “Umm, is everyone ok?” I get some muted yeses.
Of course, I happen to land with my head practically touching Flint crotch, and Dillon’s leg in my gut. I feel so damn bruised after everything that has happened since I woke up.
Worse sober day ever!
After a while we all start to move careful not to touch each other’s body parts, well more than we already have. After I get to a sitting position, I look around and realize the glass never touched us; the shards are at least a few feet away.
At least my wacky element did some good in protecting us, although it’s a shame it didn’t protect from the sawdust affiliation, I itch everywhere.
"Oh, to hell with it all," Flint proclaims as he stands up throwing up his hands. Sawdust flying off him like a cloud from the jarring motion. I just remain sitting upright on the ground, rubbing at my stinging eyes and blinking up at Dillon as she too moves to stand up.
"You know what, I can't even look at you right now,” She twists her body around to survey the new damage; I do the same and grimace. There’s no glass left in the windows, I twist my head and notice the pane of glass I was holding somehow managed to survive.
Well, survive as in it didn’t shatter completely, though, there are a few gnarly cracks displayed on it like spider webs. Least that’s something.
I look across the street to see a couple on onlookers gawking at us.
Great just what we need!
She turns her body so that her back is to me, completely blocking me out as she tells Flint, "I’m sorry again; now for this as well. But I can't stay here and properly apologize and say what I want, because of him."She turns around, though still not looking at me; she points her finger almost accusingly in my direction. My stomach drops. She then flicks her pony tail, bits of sawdust falling to the ground, she looks down at herself pursing her lips and she tries to brush it all away. After a while she gives up.
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