With a satisfied sigh, she snuggled against the pillows and was drifting off to sleep when her cell phone rang. Opening her eyes, she glanced at the intrusive culprit. It was laying on the table between the two lounge chairs on the patio, the other one having been occupied earlier by Ray. Bev frowned when she saw that there were two telephones on the table. Ray had left his when he went to run an errand, which meant that it was a certainty that the call was not from him.
Reluctantly, she picked up the ringing instrument. The call was from Darnell.
“Hey, sweetie,” Bev sing-songed.
“Hi, Mama.” Darnell sounded chipper. She and Thad had finished shooting their movie and were back home in Carmel. “Have you and Ray decided whether you’re driving down here tomorrow or not?”
“No, we haven’t.” Bev wanted to say that she wished that her daughter would stop bugging her about it. She had called her three times during the weekend with the same question.
“But Mama, it’s not like you’ve got to rush back to Chicago or something. You’re taking a couple of extra days off to be with Ray. Don’t you want to see your granddaughter?”
Implied in Darnell’s question was that her mother was putting Ray before her grandchild. Bev resented the implication, but she wasn’t going to be manipulated.
“Honey, I met you in Virginia for the wrap party and the three of us flew back to Chicago together. You guys spent a week with me. Two weeks ago Ray and I spent a weekend in Carmel…”
“Where you stayed in a hotel,” Darnell whined. “You used to stay here with us.”
Bev gave a weary sigh; her daughter could be such a child sometimes. “I used to stay with you. Things have changed. As your mother I’m not able to sleep under your roof with my boyfriend. I’ve never done it before.”
“Oh, that’s so twentieth century.” Darnell sounded frustrated. “And you’re with Ray this time, that’s different. He’s like family.”
“So it’s okay for me to make love in my daughter’s house with a family member? That sounds like incest to me.”
Darnell gave an aggravated grunt. “Very funny.”
Bev was ready to cut this short. “I’m tired, Darnell. I need to get some rest. You’re sounding more like a baby than the intelligent, mature woman that I know you are, so you need to take a step back and check yourself. I’m flattered that you want to see me more often, but I’m one person and I’m a busy one. I love you more than I love my own life. You’re always in my heart, but I won’t allow you to try and make me feel guilty because I have a life that doesn’t revolve around you.”
“Excuse me?” Darnell was insulted, and she didn’t mask it.
“You heard me, and we’ll discuss this at another time. Right now, I’m getting ready to take a nap until Ray gets back. Bye, sweetie.” Bev disconnected, leaving her daughter wanting but unable to say more.
Bev had just repositioned herself in her lounge chair and closed her eyes when once again, the ring of the telephone disturbed her peace. A second frown creased her face. She thought that her cell phone had been turned off. Her eyes slid over to the table. She was right. The ringing was coming from Ray’s cell.
She started to let voice mail get it, but decided that she could deliver a message to him. Picking up his cell phone she answered the call: “Hello.”
* * *
As Ray stood in the restaurant where he was to pick up the meal Bev and he would dine on this evening, he was feeling on top of the world. He was so in love with Bev that it was sickening. He had never felt so vulnerable or so alive. He was actually thinking about marrying again, something that he had sworn he would never do.
He and Bev were so compatible. There wasn’t a woman that he had dated—and there had been many—that had ever been as perfectly adapted to his lifestyle as Bev. Too many of the other women had been either needy or greedy. Bev was neither. It was refreshing.
The bumps in the road insofar as their relationship was concerned had not all been smoothed. It seemed that there was one development that neither Bev nor he had expected. Darnell had become jealous of the time that her mother spent with Ray. She had never had to share her before. Much to Ray’s delight he had been told that Bev’s previous relationships had never been as serious. Neither had they been long distance, which took a lot of time on both their parts. It was time that Bev used to spend with Darnell but was now spending with Ray. Until Thad entered her life with his flair for spontaneity, Darnell had not been the type of person who was easily adaptable to change. She liked order in her life, and her mother was her foundation. The bond between the two of them was strong. Sharing was proving to be a difficult adjustment. However, Ray felt that Bev was handling the situation well.
She had raised her daughter to be a strong, independent woman who was loved without question, but who wasn’t coddled. When Darnell reached adulthood, Bev continued to support and encourage her daughter in her endeavors, but she lived her life and expected Darnell to live her own. Her daughter had met that expectation, even when she fell in love with Thad. Now when Darnell expressed her anxiety regarding her mother’s time, Bev reminded her of both of their independent statuses. Meanwhile, she kept Ray out of it and he liked that.
Paying for the order, Ray was walking to the restaurant parking lot when he decided to call Bev to let her know that he was on his way back home. Sometimes he would find excuses to call her just to hear her voice and remind himself that she was with him. Reaching into his jacket for his cell phone, he discovered it missing. Frantically, he patted all of his pockets with no results. Stopping, he searched his memory until he recalled where he had left it. With a nonchalant shrug, he got in the car, started it, and pulled into traffic. He chuckled to himself for his initial panic about his missing telephone as he thought about how easy it was to become dependent on the instrument. Glancing at his car phone, he thought about using it to make the call, but dismissed the urge. He would be home shortly. Little did he realize the surprise that would be waiting for him when he arrived.
Bev was sitting in the living room when Ray walked into the house with his hands filled with the sacks of food her empty stomach had been craving, but she had lost her appetite. One telephone call had accomplished that. All she was hungry for now were some answers.
“Hey, baby.” Ray flashed her a smile as he headed for the kitchen. “Our order wasn’t ready when I got to the restaurant. I had to wait, but at least it’s still hot.”
He disappeared. Bev followed him.
Ray was busy unpacking the sacks when she reached his brightly painted kitchen. She remembered that he said that when Thad lived there this room had been painted a bright blue. He’d had it painted yellow, a happy, sunny color meant to influence the mood. It wasn’t working on her. She stood with arms folded across her chest, glaring at him as he busily gathered the dishes and silverware needed to eat their meal.
“I started to call and tell why it was taking me so long, but I left my cell phone here.” He set a place at the counter for Bev and for himself. “You didn’t happen to find it, did you?”
“Yes, I did, and I answered a call.”
It was the hard tone of her voice that caused Ray to pause and look at her. The expression on her face made it apparent that Bev was not happy.
“Oh, really? Who was it from?” He had no clue why a call for him would make her so visibly upset. Perhaps it had been from an old girlfriend. Her next words made him wish that the latter had been the case.
“It was the secretary for Nathan Webb, a private investigator. She said that he needed you to call his office regarding his investigation of Mr. Colton Cameron.”
Damn! Ray could feel the breath draining from his body. He had never expected this to happen, but he held her eyes and waited to see what she would do.
Bev was incensed. How dare he investigate Colton! What gave him the right?
“Would you like to give me an explanation?”
Everything in her demeanor told Ray that wha
tever he told her wouldn’t be good enough, and he knew that he could not share the truth. How could he explain that he suspected that after thirty-plus years her deceased husband might still be alive? She would think that he was joking. If he told her that he further suspected that Colton Cameron had murdered an innocent man and that it was an unidentifiable body that was claimed as his, Bev would think that he was insane. He would only solidify that thought if he added that the man whom she had loved and honored for so many decades had risen from the dead as Moody Lake, a drug kingpin who ran an illegal operation that spanned three continents. So what could he say? His silence served to fuel her anger.
“You’re not going to answer me?” Bev tried to remain calm, but it was increasingly difficult as he stood before her looking contrite. She took a step toward him. “Are you so jealous of a dead man that you have to have him investigated?” Again she was met with silence. She stood before him face to face, arms outstretched. “Just give me one rational explanation as to why?”
Ray felt sick. He wished that this had never happened. Why hadn’t he let it go when he had a chance to do so? But the least that he owed her was some element of truth. “There isn’t a rational explanation.”
Bev didn’t have a counter to that. Ray held her eyes as he sank to one of the stools placed at the kitchen island. His eyes were clouded with pain. Her eyes were blinded by confusion.
“So, it just happened? You woke up one morning and told yourself that was the day that you were going to find out all about Colton? I hadn’t told you enough? You had to know more?” Turning abruptly, she walked away from him in order to gather herself, and then she turned back. “I thought that you respected me.”
“I do.”
“I thought that we had the type of relationship where we could be open with each other.”
“We have.”
“Yet you didn’t trust me enough to answer any question that you might have had about Colton.”
Silence.
Bev gave a heavy sigh. This was a side of Ray that she hadn’t seen before. Since they had been together they had discussed every subject imaginable. Why did he feel that he couldn’t discuss her ex-husband, too?
“Have you even noticed that I no longer wear Colton’s ring around my neck?”
“Yes, of course I noticed. You keep it on your dresser. It’s hanging by a gold chain on that jewelry stand.”
His words caused Bev to wince. Yes, the ring was in her bedroom, and it was visible, but when she was here with him she didn’t bring it with her. Did he expect her to throw the ring away?
“I took it off because of you, Ray.” Bev threw her hands up in frustration. “My God! What do you want from me?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Your love and devotion to me alone.”
It was clear by the sadness in his voice that he doubted that she had given that to him. Bev felt as if he had slapped her. She had given more of herself to this man than she had ever given to any other, except for— She caught the thought that came into her head and became defensive.
“I’ve given you everything that I have to give.” Her feelings were hurt. “How can you doubt that?”
“Have you?” He needed more from her, and this was the time to demand it. “I love you with everything in me. Are you ready to say the same thing to me?”
Bev bristled. “I thought that my actions assured you of that. Obviously, I was wrong.”
She turned and left the room. As Bev climbed the stairs to his bedroom she fought back tears of disappointment. She had thought that he was more secure than that. How could he doubt that she was in love with him? Over the past few months she had flown back and forth across the country to be with him. There was no pleasing him! Perhaps Ray wasn’t the man that she thought him to be. Maybe it was time to re-evaluate their situation.
That night they lay in bed together back to back, not wrapped in each other’s arms. They said nothing to each other. They had nothing to offer one another, not even their bodies. Earlier, Ray had brought her dinner up to her and Bev had asked him again why he’d had her husband investigated. Just as before, he had no answer. The communication that had been the foundation of their relationship was nonexistent on this night. With Ray’s silence it had begun to crumble. There was a gulf that was building between them and it was frightening to them both.
At the airport the next day Bev gave him a dispirited kiss goodbye. Ray responded with much more passion. He watched her walk to the security gate with a lump in his throat and a knot in his heart and he wondered if he had lost her.
As Bev went through the gate, she glanced back at him. Ray looked as miserable as she felt. Could this be the beginning of the end for them?
CHAPTER 28
The weekend after Bev found out about Ray having her late husband investigated she changed their traveling plans. They hadn’t spoken to each other daily as they had been doing for months. It seemed that when Ray called during the day, Bev’s voice mail answered. Instead of returning his calls as soon as she was available, she did so at night and her excuse was always that she had been busy at work. Conversations between them that had flowed easily before were now awkward, rife with occasional silences where much remained unsaid.
Ray had anticipated Bev’s call regarding their plans the next weekend. He was to fly to Chicago on Friday. The call from her came on Thursday night.
”I need to go to Stillwaters this weekend.” Bev had worked all week to convince herself that she had to go rather than wanted to go. Therefore, it sounded almost plausible when she actually said the words.
“Is Dana all right? Grandy?” His questions were mingled with concern as well as doubt.
Bev could hear his uncertainty. She tried to reassure him.
“They’re both doing fine, but I need to go there,” and she did, if for nothing else but her peace of mind. There was a lengthy silence on the other end.
Ray knew that this could be the beginning of the end, and he blamed himself for it. All week he had conducted introspective self-analysis regarding his obsession with Bev’s husband, and he was still doing so. Their being apart this weekend might be best for them both.
“Then get there safely, and don’t forget to call me.” Their signature tag line was like a knife in the gut for them both. It was to assure each that the other had arrived at their destination safely. They always looked forward to those calls, which were filled with the love that they felt for one another. Now they each wondered if the meaning of those words would ever be the same.
“I will,” Bev whispered. She had expected more resistance to his not coming to see her and was disappointed that she hadn’t gotten it. “Good night, Ray.” She held her breath, waiting for his reply.
“Good night, Bev.”
They disconnected and both took a relieved breath. At least neither one of them had said goodbye.
* * *
Ray received a call from Bev that Friday evening. Their conversation had been short. She’d advised him of her arrival. He’d asked about the flight and they had ended the call with the words “I love you.” That hadn’t changed, and Ray had decided that from his end it wouldn’t. He had waited too long to win Bev’s love and he was going to fight to keep it. He wasn’t giving up easily and it was his hope that she wouldn’t, either.
In evaluating his obsession with Colton Cameron, he had come up with some conclusions, and one of them was that he was afraid of the man. He wasn’t frightened of him physically. His biggest fear was the hold that the memory of him had on Bev. Colton had been perfect in her eyes, and no one could compete with perfection. It was impossible to live up to something that didn’t exist, and he didn’t plan on doing so.
Having decided to be absolutely honest with himself in his week of self analysis, he knew that one of the reasons that he pursued the Colton/Moody transformation was that he was looking for the imperfections in her late husband. He would never tell Bev anything that was revealed regarding Colton, but Ray realized th
at knowing that Colton wasn’t a man without faults would be very satisfying. His knowledge would be his defense against her memory of him. It might prove to be the only weapon that he had. Yet when he thought about the price of possessing such a weapon, the reality was that it might not be worth it.
The investigator had informed him that he would be sending the Colton Cameron report to him by messenger on Sunday. Ray would have the only copy. What he chose to do with it was up to him.
* * *
“Now let me get this straight.” Dana looked incredulous as she scooted up in the lounge chair in which she had been relaxing so that she could get a better look at her sister sitting across from her. “You’re rethinking your relationship with Ray because he’s jealous of Colton?”
“Yes,” Bev answered. “He’s proving to be more insecure than I thought.”
Dana scoffed. “Ray Wilson? Insecure? We are talking about the same man that negotiates multi-million dollar deals with the biggest players in Hollywood, aren’t we? If so, insecure wouldn’t be a word that I would use when referring to him.”
“Well, that’s how he is when it comes to Colton.”
Bev rose from her seat and turned to look out onto Grandy’s garden. She could hardly believe that she was talking to her sister about her love life. It was a testament as to how things had changed between them.
The conversation had started out innocently enough. On a walking excursion Dana and she had decided to visit Grandy. Dana was walking with a cane now, and from the look of it she wouldn’t need that much longer. Bev had stated how impressed she was with her improvement. Her sister had asked how her life was going and then about Ray. Dana had caught Bev’s hesitation in answering. She wanted to know what was wrong, and now here they were engaged in a question-and-answer session.
“I noticed that you’re still wearing Colton’s wedding band around your neck.” She peered at her sister’s back accusingly.
Still Waters... Page 24
