by Iris Blobel
“Sorry, son,” William tried to comfort him.
“Why are you telling me now?” he asked without looking.
There was a touch of concern in Teresa’s voice. “There’s something else we need to discuss with you.”
Flynn looked up at Teresa. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to discuss anything else. In fact, he hadn’t discussed anything yet, and as far as he was concerned, he just received one of the biggest blows in his life. His beautiful Saz was dead, and he hadn’t been by her side to comfort her.
He moved his head and looked out the window onto the busy streets of Melbourne. A smile played at the corner of his mouth as he remembered the first time he had met Sarah. He had been the new guy at school, and she had offered him the seat next to her. Of course, it was awkward for him to be the only boy sitting next to a girl, but after only a few minutes he wasn’t able to take his eyes off her. He even had a few chuckles watching the frustration grow within her with the struggle to contain her curly hair. She was constantly pinning back another escaped strand of hair with a bobby pin, resulting in a big messy hair do at the end of the day. And as he’d found out over the next months, it was a continuous battle. One day, he was taking her home on his bike when she had a flat tyre, and he remembered the light kiss she gave him on his cheek as she thanked him. He was in love. Even at his fifteen years he couldn’t think of anything or anybody else but Sarah. She was the one for him. Though still a teenager herself, she had already radiated a mature calm. She seemed carefree and innocent. A trait he had always admired in her. Considering the strict upbringing by her mother, Sarah had always maintained her cheerful nature. And her headstrong nature and impulsiveness often clashed with Teresa’s authority.
Teresa interrupted his thoughts. “Flynn!”
Flynn slowly stared up at her.
“Are you listening?” Teresa asked in an impatient voice. “Sarah has left behind a daughter. Your daughter.”
“My what?” His voice cracked on the last word.
5
Emma shared a lovely modest townhouse with Jack. It was reasonably priced for Melbourne standards and ideally located for both of them. Easy access to the city and equally easy to get to the beach – a must for Jack to satisfy his need to go surfing most weekends.
She had moved into Jack’s little place just south of Melbourne a bit over a year before. He had advertised the room, and had told her once that when she’d stood in front of his door, he knew he had found the right person. According to Jack, she initially had come across very shy, yet he liked her bubbly personality, which rose to the surface as soon as she was comfortable with her company. And her Nordic blue eyes, apparently. He liked gazing at her. Thus the usual staring competitions as an opportunity to look at her eyes for a reason – that was what he had told her anyway.
They had the small kitchen and lounge downstairs, as well as a laundry room, two bedrooms, and a study upstairs with a spacious bathroom. Initially, Jack wasn’t all that happy about sharing the bathroom with Emma. Actually, it wasn’t the sharing, but the space she needed for her make-up, hairdressing, soap, and all her other ‘girlie things’ as he called them.
“What? Didn’t your girlfriend have girlie things?” she had asked.
“Nope. She kept it all in the bedroom.”
She went into her room and came back with the rental agreement, pretending to read it thoroughly. “In all fairness, I can’t see anything about ‘girlie things’ not being allowed in the bathroom.”
His mouth curved into a smile and she figured she had won this small battle. She knew then that he really liked her.
Emma was quite pleased to learn that Jack was the exception to the rule and fairly tidy. Though his room was kind of messy and literally stuffed with surfing gear and sports equipment, he did his very best to keep the rest of the house clean. Emma’s room was usually tidy. Over the last twelve months, she had done her best to hunt through second-hand shops to find the best furniture possible, and all of them reflected her love for the old and antique combined with the modern. Emma’s most beloved possessions, however, were two paintings from her mother – one of which was a watercolour of a purple bearded iris. The lines of the petals, so delicate and fine, in stark contrast of the flower’s deep and vibrant purple. There was one tiny raindrop clinging to the edge of a petal. Its reflection of the sky and clouds was truly magic. It certainly stood out on the white walls.
The sides of her mouth twitched into a smile as Emma remembered the early weeks as they had argued about the do’s-and-don’ts of their living arrangement.
Hauled back from her thoughts by the noisy television, she grabbed a can of cola out of the fridge and went into the lounge room where she joined Jack watching a B-grade movie. As she placed the drink on the table, an ad for a toy store in the TV guide caught her attention and she instantly thought of Nadine.
“She’s just gorgeous, Jack,” Emma said as she plunged onto the couch.
“Who?”
“Nadine!”
Jack turned down the volume a tad. “Did she give you any answers to your questions?”
“Well, she did tell me that her mother died just after Christmas. She really misses her mum.” Emma looked over at the little bookcase where she had a picture of her parents.
Jack placed his arm around her shoulder and gently pulled her towards him. “How about we concentrate on the movie to find out who actually killed this guy,” he said quietly as he placed a kiss on her forehead.
As much as she enjoyed the tiny bits of friendly affection, deep down inside she knew it was his way to say I care about your day, yet I care more about the movie at the moment. But it was one of Jack’s movies, and she couldn’t give a hoot who had killed whom.
Emma took another sip of her cola. “You’d like her.”
Jack turned his gaze to her. “Sunshine, there’s a lot I like, but kids are not one of them.”
Emma turned towards him. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Nope.”
“Learn something new every day,” she said as she moved out of his arms and leaned back into the sofa. “She is so brave, and handling this whole new situation with such, I don’t know, dignity?”
Jack turned up the volume as a clear signal to Emma that he wasn’t interested. She looked at him and knew that there was something between them. Something more than friendship. Yet, she was aware that he was still healing from his break-up, and if she was really to consider a relationship with Jack, she needed to wait. But then, how could she be interested in someone who didn’t like children? It was all she wanted; the old-fashioned get married and have children story. She sighed, grabbed her drink and stood up.
The first thing that came into sight when she came into the kitchen was a packet of chocolate biscuits, and even though she knew she would have to work too hard to get these calories off her hips again, she took two – something about Jack’s comment regarding children nagged at her. She needed comfort food! Then again, why? He wasn’t her boyfriend. Boyfriend! Em. How old are you? He wasn’t her partner or anything of that sort. They lived together. They liked each other. They cooked for each other and helped each other when help was needed. Went swimming together and worked together. My, oh my, that was a lot of togetherness. She bit into the second biscuit and let out a big sigh. As she watched the clouds passing by she remembered the few things Jack had told her about his previous girlfriend. It must have been a short, yet intense, relationship with the spark leaving quickly. He was still licking his wounds. He made no secret he was attracted to Emma, and she knew she could make him forget, but for how long? And was that what she wanted? Just make him forget? Dating was tempting, but the moment needed to be right.
Her focus turned back outside and she watched the outlines of trees moving in the wind. In the darkness, her reflection was visible just like another person standing next to her, staring back. Her lips curved into a smile, and the person smiled back, too. She gazed at the reflection and
took everything in, ignoring the trees — the long hair, which had been so unruly and according to her father, gave her freckled face just a touch of don’t-mess-with-me attitude. She missed him. She missed them both.
* * *
* * *
Flynn walked into his kitchen, sweat trickling down his face, his back wet from perspiration and his breathing still ragged. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and downed it in almost one go. Even jogging for a few kilometres didn’t clear his mind. He was still trying to comprehend what had happened earlier that day. Saz, his beautiful Saz, was dead. No more touching her beautiful skin. No more feeling her warm lips. No more – anything! Wrong. There was something – Nadine. A small girl who was a part of him. A small girl whom he had not known about, and whom he was supposed to meet the following day. You have a daughter. The words drummed through his head, and his usually calm and collected thoughts were doing a rollercoaster ride up there – it scared him.
He took a drink out of the fridge and tried to recall what had been said earlier.
* * *
* * *
“Her name is Nadine.”
His thumb trailed over his bottom lip. “What makes you think she’s mine?”
Teresa straightened up in her seat. “There had been only one man in Sarah’s life.”
“She told me there was someone else, and that was why she didn’t come to live with me in Melbourne,” he countered too quickly. Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself, because the last thing he wanted was to lose his cool.
Teresa’s demure smile seemed strained. “And anything else but a man doesn’t come to mind? Of course, you obviously thought of a man, didn’t you! She was talking about Nadine. Not sure what she saw in you, though, but there was never ever anybody else. And as soon as Nadine was born, there was just no time for a man.”
Flynn shook his head, trying to ignore her blatant disapproval. She had never approved of their relationship. He remembered the way Saz always snuck out of the house through the backyard, and they would drive somewhere to be on their own. He felt guilty because – though it was beautiful and everything they both wanted – their first time had been in a corner of the forest close by.
“She did want to tell you.”
“I’m sure she did.” He did a quick sum in his head. “When? For Pete's sake, this girl’s got to be no younger than six years.”
“Don’t be self-righteous, Flynn. You just have no idea what it means to raise a child on your own. And once you decided to make your life here, she never heard from you again. You looked after yourself and–”
Narrowing his eyes in anger and frustration, he glared at her. “Who are you, to blame me like this?”
William placed his hand on Flynn’s shoulder. “Now son. Let’s see whether we can all step back a little and try to have a mature conversation.”
Suddenly Flynn stood up, anger and confusion boiling within. “Having a mature conversation with you is the last thing on my mind. You have no idea what I’d like to do with you.” He stalled for a moment and heard William’s voice.
Teresa opened her mouth to respond, but William held her arm. ”Tess, love. Leave him be. For once, don’t have the last word.”
An overload of emotions stirred in Flynn — grief, sadness, confusion, and anger.
Flynn stormed off.
Out of the corner of his eye, Flynn noticed William watching him. He reached the café’s entrance and then turned to go back. Each hesitant step Flynn was making was like climbing a high mountain. Breathing became hard. Focusing on what to say or even think nearly impossible. But he knew he had to do this. Could do it!
“Does she know?” Flynn asked when he reached the table.
“Her name is Nadine,” Teresa emphasised.
Flynn noticed William’s hand on her arm, giving her slight squeeze. “Yes she does,” William answered calmly.
He cursed under his breath. “Everybody but me seems to know.” Flynn worked hard not to let his temper get the better of him again. He blew out a breath and asked, “Why are you here?”
“You have the right to know. And she’s got that right as well.”
Flynn shook his head in disbelief. “What about Jenny and Carl?”
Teresa looked surprised. “Your parents? No. And since they moved a few years back, I wouldn’t even know how to contact them.”
William stood up to face Flynn. “Son, she’s a beautiful little girl, and as they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
Flynn checked the time on his wristwatch. “I’ll be here tomorrow again, same time.” He walked off again. He needed air. Needed to try and digest all the information he had just been given. Needed to sort his head before he would be able to focus on a calm conversation. And he needed air to breathe and to fill his body with… with something. After all, he had just become a dad.
6
Emma rubbed her temple as her eyes darted around the foyer of the hotel, not liking the phone call she was having
“Mrs. Gibbs, I honestly do understand the predicament you’re in, but I’m not sure whether I’m the right person–”
“Darling, I have already talked to Mr. Morgan and he’s more than happy to grant you the extra one-and-a-half hour lunch break. I’ll pay you separately as well.”
“Ma’am, it’s not the money–”
Mrs. Gibbs let out a heavy sigh. “Emma, this is an unusual situation and I understand that, but so it is for everybody involved. Not sure what she sees in you–”
Emma was slightly offended by this and was about to hang up the phone, but somehow had a gut feeling it would come back to haunt her. Mrs. Gibbs was one of those people who took, and that was how they survived. So she didn’t hang up, but listened. Patiently.
“But she’s like her mother when it comes to friends. Her father is coming this afternoon and wants to meet her. We thought it’d be better not to be part of that meeting for reasons which are none of your business.”
Thanks, Emma thought! Boy, oh boy, talk about manners.
“Anyway, Nadine likes you very much. She wouldn’t stop talking about you last night, so her grandfather suggested it might be easier for her if you were with her.”
“Ma’am, it seems that I haven’t really got a choice here considering that you have already asked Mr. Morgan, but may I ask whether I could pick her up an hour earlier and ease her mind a bit?”
Emma could only imagine that Mrs. Gibbs wasn’t impressed by this request, but in the end she heard a quiet and seemingly uncomfortable “So it will be.”
Take that, Mrs. Grandmother. One for Emma, none for you. Ha!
* * *
* * *
“Are you all right, Em?” Jack asked as he came over to her.
“I’m more involved in this babysitting business than I actually want to be.”
“What’s the news?”
She groaned, weary from the day had developed so far. “The guy who came in yesterday is her father, and now I’m supposed to be with the little one when she’s going to meet him. Great! She’s organised it already behind my back with Mr. Morgan. I still haven’t talked to him. Shoot!”
Emma checked the time and then looked over at Jack who was still standing next to her. Amusement plastered all over his face. “What?”
With a sly smile he said, “Nothing.” He shrugged. “Just imagining you in front of Mr. Good-looking trying to say something sensible, because at the moment half of your sentences don’t make sense at all.”
Emma rolled her eyes. “Jerk!” She pushed a few buttons and locked her desktop. “I’ll be over at Mr. Morgan’s. I’m sure you’ll be able to cover for a few minutes.”
Emma took the stairs to the first floor to the Manager of HR’s office. Mr. Morgan was about to leave, so she hurried up a bit to catch up to him.
“Sir?”
Leo Morgan turned around. “Emma?”
“Sir, I just need one second, please.” Her voice nearly broke with t
he nervousness spreading through her body.
Leo checked the time on his mobile. “Shoot. What’s the problem?”
Emma hesitated. She knew exactly that she was walking on thin ice. Not only did his deep voice send shivers down her spine, but she was afraid she was pushing her luck. “I’d like to take the rest of the morning off.”
Leo looked at her in surprise. “Aren’t you looking after the young Gibbs girl this afternoon?”
Her face felt hot suddenly. “Yes, sir. I’d like to go home and change into casual clothes. I’ll pick her up an hour earlier to ease her mind a bit.”
Leo smiled. “Mrs. Gibbs did tell me how fond the little girl has become of you in such a short time. That’s okay. Do organise cover though. And with that I don’t mean Jack working two positions.” He raised his eyebrows and expectantly looked at her.
“Oh, and sir?”
His expression changed and the smile was gone. “Yes?”
“Could I respectfully request that if an arrangement like this will be made again in the future, I might have a say in it?”
Leo stared at her. “Miss Gallagher, you started this whole thing yesterday so you might as well finish it. It’s your arrangement to deal with. May I emphasise that you’re lucky I don’t dock any of your pay.”
Emma slowly nodded her head. “Understood, sir.”
“And Emma?”
“Sir?” she replied, noticing her voice sounding fragile and shaky.
“Make sure you make an appointment to see me before you leave tonight. There are a few things we need to discuss.”
Emma nodded with her stomach clenched tight.
* * *
* * *
Flynn enjoyed a nice long shower after his jog, thoughts of the day’s news still whirling in his head. He headed into the kitchen after he’d towelled himself dry. After making himself a cup of coffee he walked through his apartment to the balcony, where he leaned against the railing to enjoy the view over Port Phillip Bay. He watched the boats slide through the water, probably coming back from another day’s fishing. He took a sip of coffee and for a brief moment closed his eyes as a cool breeze brushed his face. From below he heard the usual traffic noises. Memories of Sarah came back and along with them, the guilt. The guilt of leaving her behind. But he hadn’t known she was pregnant. Things might have been different…
