Mary was right, I didn’t like to return there anymore. The memories of my life with my parents, my family, were imprinted there. A walk down Newbury Street. Our nights at the Boston Conservatory for my father’s performances with the orchestra. A shopping spree at Faneuil Hall sometimes came to mind. But what always overshadowed these visits was the ride down the main Highway 93, where their lives had ended.
I still remember the photo from the Boston Herald being handed to me by a neighbor “for safekeeping.” It showed our black, four-door mangled vehicle with the Jaws of Life truck in the foreground, where they had removed their bodies from the wreckage. The neighbor had no idea, of course, how much I didn’t want to see the wreckage or keep a copy of the article. One look imprinted the image on my mind, and challenged my will to live. One look had me transfixed before a mirror in my bathroom that night with a handful of sleeping pills, preparing to join them.
That didn’t happen, only because Declan was there, pulling the pills away. He had stayed up all night talking to me, telling me how much my parents would have wanted me to live. That was the Declan I had fallen in love with, and wanted to marry. That was the Declan I knew was still buried in there. But I’d turned him in, my conscience chided. Yes. I had.
I exhaled and slid the closet door open, eying the designer trolley Jonas had bought me. Jonas. I grabbed my backpack and shoved in a couple pairs of jeans, jerseys, and underwear. I then crossed the hall to the bathroom and cleaned up, before picking up a few toiletries to take with me and returning to my bedroom. I dressed and brushed my hair into a ponytail. I pulled out a plastic tub from under my bed in search of old college papers. I noticed a few loose pictures of my parents were out of the album. My heart pulled as I put them back, then my phone buzzed. I answered with my free hand.
“Hello, Lily. It’s Jonas.”
I dropped my papers. “Oh. Hello.”
“You didn’t call back last night, and I don’t blame you. I wanted to apologize,” he said.
I licked my lips. “I left a message, but it was late. You don’t need to apologize. We both did what we wanted to do.”
“You left a message with…Melissa.” I could hear him putting the pieces together. “She stayed over in—”
“You don’t need to explain anything to me,” I interrupted. “I’ll be fine. I’m fine.”
“I don’t believe you are. And from your tone, you’re jumping to conclusions. I don’t want to speak with you over the phone. I’ll come and pick you up, and this time we’ll talk. I promise.”
I sifted through the papers and took out a few. “I can’t. I’m heading to Boston to see Mary.”
“When will you be back?” he asked.
“Not sure. Probably Tuesday,” I said.
“I’ll be leaving for Texas on Wednesday. Then away to London for another two weeks.”
I blinked rapidly. “So you won’t be around here for a while,” I said in a small voice.
“That’s my life, Lily. I work and travel. I try to get home when I can.” He sighed. “How about I take you to Boston? I’m flying up to Connecticut today, but that won’t take long. We’ll ride the rest of the way from there.”
“You don’t need to go out of your way,” I started, then stopped. “Wait. You’re going to Connecticut to see your mother?”
“Yes. I need to settle some things there. Dani would normally go, but she’s at a spiritual retreat with Alan this morning. I didn’t have anything planned except taking Paul to the Knick’s game at Madison Square Garden, and that’s not until tonight.”
A flutter went through my stomach. Jonas had told me on one of our nights together that his mother suffered from early onset dementia, and that going with him to see her was one of the things Dani would do for him. It was just too hard for him to see her. His difficulty expressing his feelings wasn’t limited to me.
My heart ached at the thought of him going alone. I wouldn’t want to do that myself. “I’ll go with you.”
“Thank you. We’ll be at your place to pick you up in half an hour?” he said. “Sorry such short notice, but with visiting hours….”
“I’ll be ready. What should I wear?” I said before I caught myself.
“Want me to help dress you? I’ll be right over,” he teased.
I sucked in air. “No. I….”
“I was only kidding. Slacks and a shirt are fine,” he said.
I then thought of Melissa. Why wasn’t she going? “What about Melissa?”
“She’ll be on our flight back to Texas on Wednesday,” he admitted. “I didn’t lie, I’m not with her.”
We were silent for what felt like a minute, but it was probably only a few seconds.
“Alright. See you soon.”
I put the phone down. My mind wanted to dissect the conversation, but I didn’t have time.
On my third pass through my papers, I found everything I thought Mary would need. I ended up having to use the trolley, as I needed my laptop, too. So I quickly repacked my clothing and changed into a pair of black wool pants and a grey button down shirt. I even managed a smear of gloss on my lips before the door sounded. I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Jonas.
I’m walking out of my apartment and will meet you outside
This was not a date, I told myself, as I quickly grabbed my handbag and keys before walking out the door.
My pulse sped up at the sight of Jonas standing outside of the apartment building waiting for me. His gaze connected with mine, and the tension charged the air between us. A shiver went through me, as my eyes zoned in on the smile curving his full lips. I couldn’t help but acknowledge the effect he had on me. He was stunning, in a dark turtleneck and grey slacks. I laughed internally, thinking how we matched. His brow rose questioningly as I approached.
“You look beautiful.”
They were words he often said to me, that magically relaxed me. A little boost to my confidence that he somehow understood I needed. It was one of the many things that had my heart skipping a beat when I was with him.
He leaned down and brushed my cheek, then took my bags and handed them to David, who walked over to collect them. I smiled at our driver shyly, a blush appearing on my cheeks. After having loud and passionate sex in the car with Jonas, my embarrassment had become a part of our greeting.
A chilly gust of wind came past and I shuddered, which in turn had Jonas reaching for my hand and walking us over to the car. As I looked down at my ankle boots, I noticed the dusting of snow on the sidewalk. Winter wasn’t exactly over, but New York City didn’t usually get this cold. Not as cold as Boston, for which I now realized I had under-packed. Nevertheless, I climbed inside the car and took off my coat, passing it through to place in the trunk.
Jonas climbed in and settled next to me. I turned to him and noticed a tightness around his eyes, and a slight turn down to his mouth. He tried to cover both once our eyes met. This was difficult for him. I reached out and took his hand, clasping it.
David pulled off and drove down the street, the crush of the dusting of fresh snow under the tires. The sun was beaming down. If the temperature hadn’t been so cold, it would have melted the snow by now.
“I’m sorry about leaving you last night. As part of the press for the foundation, we have to do some interviews. I understand why you left with Ian.”
The words were weighted as if he wanted to ask more about what happened between myself and Ian last night.
I licked my lips. “I didn’t mean to come between your and Ian’s friendship or business relationship. One kiss is all I had with him. He was helping with some legal stuff—”
“What legal stuff?” Jonas interjected.
I chewed my lip. “The thing I’m not yet ready to discuss with you, but will when I feel better.” I dipped my head down. “Please don’t push it,” I said in a small voice.
“I won’t, but I want to know. I can help if you’d give me a chance,” Jonas said. He lifted his arm. “Can I hol
d you?”
He read my need for comfort and asked. He didn’t take or order. There was the difference. I was no longer his companion. I moved over and placed my head on his chest, and the warmth and comfort filled me. I could have wept.
My mind played over what he had shared about his mother in the past. He once told me she had placed him in boarding school early and left his father for his friend. Not exactly great childhood memories. And now, his mother didn’t seem to remember any of it, conflicting his feelings even further. To what extent, I didn’t know. His pain was evident in his telling and had led me not to press him for an answer at the time.
“So, how about those Knicks?” I asked to break the tension.
He laughed and I joined him.
“Paul is looking forward to that this evening.” He squeezed me. “We should talk about us, but later. If that’s alright?”
There was a sadness there that caused a tightening in my chest. “Sure. So, will your younger brother, Vincent, be there?” I asked, changing the subject.
From Jonas’s expression, this topic wasn’t one he was ready to discuss either.
“Don’t know.” Jonas stared out the window. “I didn’t call to tell him.”
“You’re fighting?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Nope. Vincent feels he does everything and I don’t do enough, though he wouldn’t dream of opening his wallet to pay for the five-star resort he insisted on placing mom in. They visit every other Sunday and I visit when I can, and that sums up our normal relationship. He’s perfect, and I’m a shit.” He swallowed.
I grimaced. “I don’t believe that’s true. Is there another place you want her to be?”
He ran his tongue over his bottom lip. “It’s not about the money. It’s his attitude and the expectation that goes along with it. He acts as if I owe him. He’s like my father—nothing was ever enough for them.”
I pursed my lips. “I’m sorry, Jonas, but he’s wrong. If he treats you like that, you don’t deserve it, not with all the hard work you do for your family, staff, and companies. You’re not selfish.”
“I’m not perfect, Lily,” Jonas said. “I feel better, though, so thank you.” He moved over and pressed his lips against my forehead. “Dani mentioned she hugged you recently and it warmed her heart so much that she cried all the way back home.”
A tightness formed in my chest. She had cried for what happened to me. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that, though, so I just dropped my head and nodded.
“I told you about Dani to let you know that talking to you warms me too. I feel better, just being with you,” Jonas said, as if he had to offer me an explanation. “I need one of your hugs right now, too.”
I allowed him to position me across his lap, and wrap his arms around me. I closed my eyes and inhaled, taking in his scent, which I found intoxicating and comforting. Whatever we were to each other at the moment didn’t matter. We took comfort in each other’s arms the rest of the short drive to Newark Airport.
CHAPTER 9
The thirty-minute flight got us to Hartford just before noon. During the short wait to board the plane, I texted Mary and informed her of my detour, which would actually be getting me to her sooner than I had originally promised. I also provided added assurance that I had brought my laptop and would be poised and ready to start a marathon session of studies once I arrived in Boston.
Jonas had arranged a car, which David went to collect once we arrived at the airport. We rode silently up the long stretch of highway toward Windsor, Connecticut and turned off into one of the suburban upscale neighborhoods before driving through a stone and iron gate marked Henning Estates. As I took in the surroundings, I thought Jonas hadn’t exaggerated when he said the nursing home appeared more like a resort. Although it was covered in snow, even that looked manicured. Everything was perfectly in its place, from the gazebos to the low bridge streams.
We parked in front of what I would consider a brick and stone mansion, boasting Doric columns with marble footings. A ramp rose conservatively along the side, well blended in along the long porch, which was partially insulated where a few people were seated. They appeared to be listening to a woman in a uniform read aloud to them. Jonas opened the door, and a little chime went off announcing our entrance.
The inside was befitting the exterior; upscale décor with crystal chandeliers, and toned floral patterned plush seating. There was a large fireplace and a grand piano in the living area. Amidst the affluence was some cleverly placed signage as well as a nurse’s station. The pungent scent of disinfectant cleaners made it clear this may be a home to some, but it was also a business. A few residents were seated, their eyes fixed on us as we stood there. One middle-aged female in uniform came from behind the nurse’s station and approached us with an open smile.
“I’m Brenda. Family Relations Manager. May I help you?” Her smile deepened in recognition. “Sorry, Mr. Crane. Your mother Joselyn should be back from the Crane Institute by now. If you don’t mind waiting a minute, I’ll go check and escort you up to her suite.”
Jonas nodded, and she rushed off.
I touched his arm. “I could wait for you down here if you would prefer to see your mother alone.”
His eyes clouded over. “That won’t be necessary. This won’t take long.”
I frowned, and was about to ask him what he meant, when Brenda came back. “She’s available, and we can use an office there for the papers I need you to sign, as we discussed. If you’d follow me.”
“How is she?” he asked, as we walked over to a wall that turned out to be a well-hidden elevator.
Brenda pressed the top floor then glanced at me. Jonas simply nodded.
“She’s doing fine,” Brenda said. “Blood pressure is under control. We will continue to monitor her adjustment to the new medication. Otherwise, everything is pretty much the same.”
“That’s good,” Jonas muttered.
The doors opened and we all climbed out. Brenda waved a pass and we entered a plush, neutrally toned suite.
“Would you like to go over the paperwork? I can have Miss….” Her eyes turned to me.
“Lily,” Jonas said. “Apologies to the both of you. Yes, Brenda, we can go over the paperwork now. Lily can…meet Joselyn. I’ll join her once we’re done.”
Brenda nodded slowly, then held out her arm for me to follow her. I noticed similar décor to the downstairs, with a few personal photos thrown in. I immediately recognized Jonas and Mathias, as they were very much in the public eye. Dani and Paul were represented as well. My eyes stopped on a shorter man who appeared in a few photos. He had reddish-blonde locks and large brown eyes that stared out of some of the pictures with a young, handsome Jonas. Vincent? I pondered.
I didn’t have long as Brenda motioned for me to take a seat in one of the loveseats before a flat screen television. I inhaled the aroma of Chanel No. 5 fused with the velvety soft fabric. The smell, along with the beautiful bouquets of lilies, tactfully hid the sanitized scent. I stared at the lilies for a moment in admiration.
“Aren’t they beautiful?” Brenda asked. “Jonas has them delivered every few days. Joselyn loves lilies. They were her wedding flower. Well, her first wedding,” she added the last words in a hushed tone. “Mr. Crane definitely spoils her. Everything and anything she can remember, he gets for her. And we put it all around her room. You know, to trigger her memory. But there is no cure.”
We both went quiet.
“Yes. That must be really hard for Jonas and her family,” I said.
“Well, she’s luckier than most. Some don’t get visits, just money. Her son Vincent comes see her every Sunday,” she said. “Jonas comes too when he can,” she quickly added along with a smile.
“Jonas travels and works,” I said.
She nodded in agreement, then turned the television on and a soap opera I recalled from my days of watching them in my teens flared to life.
“I’ll be right back,” she said.<
br />
She walked out of the room and returned a few seconds later with a tall, curvy female. The woman was dressed casually in a cream cashmere turtleneck and beige wool pants, but made both appear rich and elegant. Her reddish blonde hair was brushed back in a tight chignon, showing off a beautiful pair of pearl earrings along with the sculpted plains of her face. She was striking, even with the creases around her pale blue, vacant eyes. A small smile appeared on her bow lips on approach.
“Hello….”
She paused. There was a slight tremor to her stance.
“This is Lily. A friend of your son, Jonas. You haven’t met her before,” Brenda said.
Her brows puckered. “I don’t have any children. You’re mistaken….”
Her eyes fixed on Brenda for a clue or correction.
“Yes. You do you have two sons, Jonas and Vincent,” Brenda said in a playful tone.
“Oh. Yes,” Joselyn said, but she didn’t appear convinced. Her gaze shifted back to me. “I do think I know her, though.” I stood and awkwardly shook her hand, which she took in a loose shake as she assessed me. “Whose family did you say you were?”
She looked down her nose at me.
“I…I didn’t,” I stuttered.
“She’s Lily. Your son Jonas’s friend,” Brenda said, furthering her correction on Jocelyn’s claim that she had no children. “Remember Jonas?”
She went and picked up a picture, one that displayed a young Jonas in uniform.
“Jonas,” Joselyn repeated.
She looked at me as if she was poised in wait for my confirmation.
I swallowed hard. “Yes. Jonas. He’s handsome in that photo. Your son.”
“Mathias’s son,” she muttered. “I did my part.”
I touched my lips and Brenda quickly took the photo away. “I’ll be right back.”
She turned the volume of the television up and left the room. I shifted in my seat and we watched the television in silence. I stole glimpses of Joselyn, and the door, pondering what I should do until Jonas returned.
“Who are you, Miss?” Joselyn asked.
Tiger Lily: Part Two Page 7
