There were strict rules regarding how far balconies could protrude from the facades of buildings, and clotheslines over streets were forbidden. This in its way was refreshing, but one raised in Rome acquires a taste for chaos, and after a while all this regularity and order became oppressive. I realize that it seems a good idea at first, laying out a city where no city has been before, and making sure that it does not suffer from the ills that afflict cities that just grew and sprawled like Rome. But I would not care to live in a city that was a veritable work of art. I think this lies at the heart of the Alexandrians’ reputation for licentiousness and riotous living. One forced to live in surroundings that might have been devised by Plato must seek relief and an outlet for the human urges despised by philosophers. Wickedness and debauchery may not be the only answers, but they are certainly the ones with the widest appeal.
In time we turned north along a great processional way. Ahead of us were several clusters of impressive buildings, some of them within battlemented walls. As we proceeded northward, we passed the first of these great complexes on our right.
“The Museum,” Rufus said. “It’s actually a part of the Palace, but it lies outside the defensive wall.”
It was an imposing place, with wide stairs ascending to the Temple of the Muses, which gave the whole complex its name. Of far greater importance than the Temple was the cluster of buildings surrounding it, where many of the world’s greatest scholars carried on their studies at state expense, publishing papers and giving lectures as they pleased. There was nothing like it in all the world, so it took its name from its temple. In later years, other such institutions, founded in imitation, were also called museums.
Even more famous than the Museum was the great Library attached to it. Here all the greatest books of the world were stored, and here copies were made and sold all over the civilized world. Behind the Museum I could see the great pitched roof of the Library, dwarfing all surrounding structures. I commented upon its immensity, and Rufus waved a hand as if it were a trifle.
“That is actually the lesser Library. It’s called the Mother Library because it’s original, founded by Ptolemy Soter himself. There’s an even bigger one, called the Daughter Library, attached to the Serapeum. It’s said that, between them, they contain more than seven hundred thousand volumes.”
It seemed unbelievable. I tried to picture what 700,000 books must look like. I imagined a full legion plus an extra auxiliary cohort. That would be about 7,000 men. I imagined such a body of men, having looted Alexandria, filing out, each man carrying 100 books. Somehow, it still did not convey the reality. The wine probably didn’t help.
Once past the Museum, we passed through yet another gate and were within the Palace itself. The Palace of Alexandria displayed the by-now familiar urge of the Successor Kings to build everything bigger than anyone had built before. Its lesser houses were the size of ordinary palaces, its gardens were the size of city parks, its shrines were as big as ordinary temples. It was a veritable city within a city.
“They’ve done well, for barbarians,” I said.
We were set down before the steps of a sprawling stoa that ran the length of an apparently endless building. A crowd of court functionaries appeared at the top of the steps. In the middle of them was a portly, pleasant-faced man I recognized from his previous visits to Rome: Ptolemy the Flute-Player. He began to descend the Palace steps just as Creticus descended from his towering littler. Ptolemy knew better than to await him at the top of the steps. A Roman official climbs stairs to meet no one but a higher-ranking Roman official.
“Old Ptolemy’s fatter than ever,” I noted.
“Poorer than ever, too,” Rufus said as we made our unsteady way to the mosaic pavement. It was a matter of constant amazement to us that the king of the world’s richest nation was also the world’s most prominent beggar. Not that we failed to take advantage of the fact.
The previous generation of Ptolemies had assassinated one another nearly out of existence, and an irate Alexandrian mob had finished the job. A royal bastard, Philopator Philadelphus Neos Dionysus, who was, in sober fact, a flute-player, had been found to fill the vacant throne. For more than a century Rome had been the power broker in Egypt, and he appealed to Rome to help shore up his shaky claim and we obliged. Rome would always rather prop up a weak king than deal with a strong one.
On the pavement Ptolemy and Creticus embraced, Creticus making a sour face at the scent Ptolemy wore. At least Ptolemy did not affect the Egyptian trappings so favored by the court. His clothing was Greek, and what remained of his hair was dressed in the Greek fashion. He did, however, make lavish use of facial cosmetics, to disguise the ravages of time and debauchery.
While Creticus and the king went into the Palace for the formal reception, I sneaked off with Rufus and a few others to the Roman embassy, where we would be staying. The embassy occupied a wing of the Palace and came complete with living quarters, banqueting facilities, baths, a gymnasium, gardens, ponds and a mob of slaves who might have staffed the biggest plantation in Italy. I found that my own quarters were far more spacious than my house in Rome and that I was to have twenty slaves for my personal service.
“Twenty?” I protested when I was presented with my staff. “I already have Hermes, and the little wretch hasn’t enough to do as it is!”
“Oh, take them, Decius,” Rufus insisted. “You know how slaves are; they’ll find something to do. Do the quarters suit you?”
I surveyed the lavish suite. “The last time I saw anything like it was when I visited Lucullus’s new town house.”
“It is a bit better than being a junior official back home, isn’t it?” Rufus said with satisfaction. Obviously, he had found the best possible dead end for his career.
We went into a small courtyard to sample some of the local vintages and catch each other up on the latest doings in our various spheres. It was delightfully cool beneath the palms, where tame monkeys gamboled among the fronds. In a marble-bordered pool, bloated carp swam up to be fed, their mouths gaping like the beaks of baby birds.
“Did you stop by Rome on your way here?” the secretary asked eagerly.
“No, we came by way of Sicily and Crete. Your news from the Capitol is probably more recent than mine.”
“What of Gaul, then?” Rufus asked.
“Trouble. The Helvetii are making warlike noises. They resent the Roman presence and they’re talking about taking back the Roman Province.”
“We can’t let them do that!” someone said. “It’s our only overland connection to Iberia!”
“That’s just what we were trying to prevent,” I said. “We called on a number of tribal leaders and reminded them of our old friendships and alliances and we passed a few bribes.”
“Do you think they’ll stay peaceful?” Rufus asked.
“You can never tell with Gauls,” I said. “They’re an emotional people, and they do love to fight. They could jump either way. When we left, most of them seemed to be content, but tomorrow some fire-raiser could make a speech accusing them of being women for accepting Roman authority, and the next day all Gaul could be in revolt just to prove their manhood.”
“Well, we’ve beaten them many times before,” said the secretary, who was a safe distance from Gaul.
“And they’ve whipped us a few times,” I reminded him. “A tribe or two at a time, they’re no danger. But if every tribe in Gaul decides to throw us out, I don’t see that we could do much about it. They outnumber us about fifty to one, and they’re on their own home ground.”
“We need another Marius,” someone said. “He knew how to handle Gauls and Germans.”
“He knew how to handle Romans, too,” I said sourly. “Mainly by massacring them.”
“Only people of senatorial rank,” the obnoxious little secretary pointed out. “But then, you Metelli were Sulla’s supporters, weren’t you?”
“Pay no attention to him,” Rufus said affably. “He’s a freedman’s son, a
nd the common herd were Marians to a man. But seriously, when does the proconsulship for transalpine Gaul change?”
“It will be one of next year’s Consuls,” I said, “which means some amiable dolt will undoubtedly be on the spot when the Gauls finally rise up and start wiping out every Roman citizen they can lay hands on.” If I could have known what was happening back in Rome that year, I would have been far more alarmed. We faced something a great deal worse than a trifling military disaster in Gaul. But I was blissfully unaware of it, as was Rome in general.
“Now what of Egypt?” I asked. “There must be some problem, or the Senate wouldn’t have ordered Creticus all the way from Gaul.”
“The situation here is a chaotic shambles, as usual,” Rufus told me. “Ptolemy is the last living male adult of the line. The question of the succession is growing urgent, because he will drink himself to death before long and we must have an heir to support or we’ll have a whole civil war to sort out, and that could take a number of years and legions.”
“Who are the contenders?” I asked.
“Just one, an infant born a few months ago, and sickly at that,” the secretary said.
“Let me guess. Would his name be Ptolemy?” The only other name they used was Alexander.
“However did you get that idea?” Rufus said. “Yes, another little Ptolemy and one in for a lengthy minority, from the look of things.”
“Princesses?” I asked. The women of that line were usually more intelligent and forceful than the men.
“Three,” Rufus said. “Berenice is about twenty and she’s the king’s favorite. Then there’s little Cleopatra, but she’s no more than ten, and Arsinoe, who is eight or so.”
“No Selene in this generation?” I asked. That was the only other name bestowed on the Ptolemaic daughters.
“There was one, but she died,” Rufus said. “Now, if no other girls are born, Cleopatra is probably the one little Ptolemy will marry, if he should live that long. There’s already a court faction supporting her.” The Ptolemies had long ago adopted the quaint Egyptian custom of marrying their sisters.
“On the other hand,” said the secretary, “should the king turn toes-up any time soon, Berenice will probably marry the infant and rule as regent.”
“Would that be a bad idea?” I asked. “On the whole, the Berenices and Cleopatras have been a pretty capable lot, even if the men have mostly been clowns.”
“This one’s a featherbrain,” Rufus said. “She falls into every loathsome foreign cult that comes along. Last year there was a Babylonian revival and she devoted herself to some Asiatic horror with an eagle’s head, as if the native Egyptian gods weren’t disgusting enough. I think she’s over that one, but if so, she’s just found another even worse.”
Courts are never simple, but this was getting truly dismal. “So who supports Berenice?”
“Most of the court eunuchs favor Berenice,” Rufus said. “The satraps of the various nomes are divided, and some of them would like to see an end to the Ptolemies altogether. They’ve become like little kings on their estates, with private armies and so forth.”
“So we must pick somebody to back so that the Senate can vote on it, and then we’ll have a constitutional justification should we have to intervene on behalf of our chosen heir?” I said.
I sighed. “Why don’t we just annex this place? A sensible Roman governor would do it a world of good.”
That evening there was a magnificent banquet, at which the centerpiece was a whole roast hippopotamus. I put the same question to Creticus, and he set me straight on a few matters.
“Take over Egypt?” he said. “We could have done that any time in the last hundred years, but we haven’t and for good reason.”
“I don’t understand,” I said. “When did we ever turn down a chance for a little loot and some more territory?”
“You aren’t thinking it through,” he said as a slave spooned some elephant-ear soup into a solid gold bowl supported by a crystal stand sculptured as a drunken Hercules. I dipped an ivory spoon into the mess and tried it. It would never replace chicken soup in my esteem.
“Egypt doesn’t represent just a little loot and territory,” Creticus explained patiently. “Egypt is the richest, most productive nation in the world. The Ptolemies are always impoverished only because they mismanage things so badly. They spend their wealth on frivolous luxury, or on projects that bring them prestige rather than prosperity or might.” The Flute-Player was already snoring gently at Creticus’s elbow, and so did not resent these comments.
“All the more reason for some good Roman reorganization,” I said.
“And just who would you trust with this task?” Creticus asked. “Let me point out that the general who conquers Egypt will become, instantly, the richest man in the world. Can you imagine the infighting among our military gentry should the Senate dangle such a prize before them?”
“I see.”
“There’s more. Egypt’s grain production surpasses that of all other nations by a factor so huge that it staggers the mind. The Nile obligingly delivers a new load of silt every year and the peasants work far more productively than our slaves. Two crops a year in most years, and sometimes three. In a time of famine for the rest of us, Egypt can feed our whole Empire, by stretching the rations a little.”
“So the Roman governor of Egypt could have a stranglehold on the Empire?”
“And be in a position to set himself up as an independent king, with the wealth to hire all the troops he needs. Would you like to see Pompey in a position of such power? Or Crassus?”
“I understand. So this is why it’s always been our policy to back one degenerate weakling after another for the crown of Egypt?”
“Exactly. And we always help them: with loans, with military aid, with advice. Not that they take advice very well. Caius Rabirius is working heroically to sort out Ptolemy’s financial problems, but it could be years before he makes much progress.” Rabirius was a famous Roman banker who had lent huge sums to Ptolemy, who in turn had named him minister of finance for Egypt.
“So who do we back this time?” I asked.
“It’ll have to be the infant,” he said, lowering his voice even further. “But no need to let that be known too soon.” He favored me with a conspiratorial grin. “The other parties will court us lavishly as long as they think they have a chance to win Roman favor.”
“The princesses are out of the question?” I said. I had yet to see these ladies. They were living at country estates at that season.
“The Senate has never favored the support of female rulers, and these are too surrounded by predatory relatives and courtiers. I suppose the brat will have to marry one of them, but that’s for the benefit of his Egyptian subjects. As far as the Senate is concerned, he can marry one of the sacred crocodiles.”
“That having been decided,” I said, “just how do we occupy ourselves here?”
“Like all the other Romans here,” he said. “We have a good time.”
2
FOR TWO MONTHS I LIVED THE WONDERFULLY idle existence of a Roman official visiting Egypt. I made the inevitable journey to all the most famous sites: I saw the pyramids and the nearby colossal head that is supposed to have an equally huge lion’s body beneath it. I saw the statue of Memnon that hails the rising sun with a musical note. I toured some very odd temples and met some very odd priests. Wherever I went, the royal officials went into transports of servility until I began to expect them to erect little shrines in my honor. Perhaps they did.
Once you are out of Alexandria you are in Egypt proper, the Egypt of the Pharaohs. This Egypt is a curious and unchanging place. In any of the nomes, you would see a spanking new temple erected by the Ptolemies to one of the ancient gods. A mile or two away you would see a virtually identical temple, except that it would be two thousand years old. The only difference would be the somewhat faded paint on the older temple.
At the great ceremonial center of Karnak ther
e is a temple complex the size of a city, its great peristyle hall a forest of columns so massive and so tall that the mind wearies in its contemplation, and every square inch of it carved with that demented picture-writing the Egyptians delight in so. Over countless centuries the Pharaohs and priests of Egypt drove the populace to finance and build these absurd piles of rock, apparently without a murmur of protest in return. Who needs slaves when the peasants are so spiritless? Italians would have reduced the place to rubble before those pillars were head-high.
There can be no more agreeable way to travel than by barge upon the Nile. The water has none of the alarming instability of the sea, and the land is so narrow that you can see almost everything from the river itself. Walk a mile from the riverbank, and you are in the desert. And drifting downstream under a full moon is an experience out of a dream, the quiet broken only by the occasional bellow of a hippopotamus. On such nights the ancient temples and tombs gleam like jewels in the moonlight and it is easy to believe that you are seeing the world as the gods once saw it, when they walked among men.
It has been my experience that periods of ease and tranquility are invariably followed by times of chaos and danger, and my prolonged river idyll was no exception. My time of ease and idle pleasure changed as soon as I returned to Alexandria.
It was the beginning of winter in Egypt. And despite what many people say, there is a winter in Egypt. The wind grows cool and blustery, and on some days it even rains. My barge reached the delta and then took the canal that connected that marshy, rich country to Alexandria. It is wonderful to be in a country where one rarely has to walk for any great distance and there are no steep slopes to be negotiated.
I left the barge at one of the lake harbor docks and hired a litter to carry me to the Palace. This one was carried by a modest four bearers, but Alexandria is a beautiful city even at street level.
Our route took us by the Macedonian barracks, and I ordered a halt while I looked over the place. Unlike Rome, Alexandria had no ban on soldiers within the city. The Successors were always foreign despots, and they never thought it amiss to remind the natives of where power lay.
SPQR IV: The Temple of the Muses Page 2
