by Jeremy Asher
“She’s definitely passionate about this place.”
Kevin turned to Sarah. “So, sweetheart, I stopped by to tell you that I’m going to Vegas.”
Surprise registered in Sarah’s voice. “Vegas? As in Las Vegas?”
Kevin nodded.
She shifted her weight and crossed her arms. “When did you make these plans?”
“Don’t be mad. The guys wanted to have one last fling before we got married.”
Sarah’s voice grew louder. “One last fling?”
Oh boy, Jesse thought. This is not going to end well for Kevin.
“Okay, bad choice of words.” Kevin placed a hand on her arm. “It’s just for a few days. I’ll be back Monday night.”
Sarah looked at Jesse and the tension seemed to slowly dissipate from her face. “It’s fine.”
“Really?” Kevin asked, disbelieving. “Are you sure?”
Jesse couldn’t believe it either.
“We’re only getting married once.” She uncrossed her arms and placed her hand in his. “If this is what you want, then go and have fun.”
Jesse had been with enough women to know that when a woman says that, it’s simply a test.
Kevin leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. “And that’s why I’m marrying you. Because you’re the best.”
Not exactly the best answer. But Jesse watched as Sarah ran the blueprint changes by Kevin. He showed a mild interest, nodding at all the right times and asking a few questions, but Jesse got the sense that he was glad that he didn’t have to spend a lot of time on this project. Then, after one final hug and kiss to Sarah and a handshake with Jesse, he departed.
For the first few hours working on the fence, neither Jesse nor Sarah said much. Jesse got the feeling that Vegas wasn’t sitting well with her. He imagined telling Kate the same news, except it ended with her throwing things at him and glass shattering against the wall. It was moments like these where he realized he had made the right decision, staying away from love and the chains that went with it.
Sarah left around noon, leaving Jesse to handle the fence on his own. He didn’t mind; he actually enjoyed a little manual labor. Working outside, taking in the sun, and getting a little unintentional exercise. It felt good.
She returned a few hours later, holding two brown bags. “I brought you some lunch just in case you were still here when I got back. You hungry?”
“I’m starved.” Jesse slammed the shovel head into the ground and pulled out a rag from his back pocket.
She sat the bags on the hood of the car and started unloading the food. Bags of chips, a few ham and cheese sandwiches, and a couple bottles of water.
Jesse got an idea. He retrieved a blanket from his truck and laid it out on the ground.
“Wow, you come prepared,” she said, moving the food from the hood of her car to the blanket.
“You never know when you’re going to have an impromptu picnic.” Jesse took a bite of the sandwich. “This is good. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me. The work you’re doing is more than I can repay you for.”
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s definitely not nothing. You’ve almost got the entire fence up.”
Sarah’s eyes trailed off to the forest.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just wish he showed more of an interest in this place.”
“Kevin?”
Sarah nodded. “I don’t think he gets it.”
Jesse ate a chip and looked at the freshly cleared land, envisioning the greenhouse. “Maybe it’s just not his thing.”
“But it’s mine. Shouldn’t that be enough?” She looked up at Jesse, her eyes full of disappointment. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be unloading this on you. This isn’t what you signed up for.”
“It’s fine,” he said. “I completely understand.”
“What about you,” she said. “Do you have anyone?”
“Not exactly.”
“That surprises me.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re a good catch. Smart, funny… And not bad to look at.”
“Nope, even with all those things going for me, I’m still not attached.” Jesse twisted the cap off his water bottle and took a drink.
“Attached? That’s how you see being in love?”
“Is there any other way to see it? Look at you two. Kevin’s friends are taking him to Vegas, but he can’t go without checking it with you first. Doesn’t exactly scream freedom.”
Frowning as she placed her sandwich aside, Sarah said, “Jesse Malone, what has happened to you?”
Jesse cocked his head back. “What do you mean?”
“What happened to that sweet boy who built me my first house, carved our initials into the willow tree, and did everything he could to make me laugh whenever I was down? Where did he go?”
The life they had had as children swam in Jesse’s mind. Was she right? Had he changed? Maybe, or maybe he was just wiser now. After all, he had seen the good that came with love. He had seen it the day he watched his aunt say goodbye to his uncle just before the nurse pulled his plug. Aunt Sherry had clung to his hand for hours, cried out everything she had. He had seen it the day his father beat his mother to death. Was that love? Because if it was, he didn’t want anything to do with it. Jesse had also seen it that same day. When he had watched Sarah disappear behind the windshield of the cop car when they took him away, never to see her again, or at least not for ten years, and after she had found someone else to marry.
“I’ve seen what love can do someone. I’ve seen it firsthand and I just don’t think it’s worth it.”
For a long while, Sarah was silent. Then her eyes trailed to Jesse’s truck. “I have an idea.”
He watched her lips curve into a smile. “What’s that?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Let’s go for a ride.”
Chapter 14
Sarah
After winning two rounds of Rock-Paper-Scissors, Jesse handed Sarah the keys to his truck. “Are you sure you’re a good driver?”
She brought a finger to her chin and feigned thinking. “I know I took the test. I just can’t remember if I actually passed. There were all of these complicated questions.”
“Very funny.”
They just as easily could have taken her car, but after seeing the shiny S10 pickup, she thought it looked more fun. Despite her teasing, she drove carefully through the streets of Chicago, letting out the occasional honk and making a few quick lane changes, each time looking over at Jesse and watching his eyes grow wider.
Sarah pulled the truck over to the side of the street. He had been very patient the entire drive, only asking twice where they were going, but she liked surprising him better.
Jesse scanned the two-story houses on the street. “Are we here?”
“Yep.” Sarah’s eyes fell on the light brown house with red shutters and a large wrap-around porch.
His eyes followed hers. He leaned forward and across Sarah to get a better look. “Who lives here?”
The scent of soap and the outdoors wafted up to Sarah’s nose. Light from the street lamp danced within Jesse’s eyes. “My father,” she told him.
Jesse’s eyes grew wide. “We’re going to see your dad?”
She had tried calling him earlier but he didn’t answer. Her worried imagination was getting the best of her. She needed to check on him. “It’s the first of two stops,” she said. “I hope you don’t mind.”
Jesse shrugged his shoulders. “Not at all.”
She got out and waited for Jesse to come around. She didn’t know why, but she felt nervous, like bringing a boy home for the first time. Sure, she was bringing a guy home to meet her father, but it was Jesse. A friend, not a boyfriend.
Jesse followed her up the few steps leading to the large wooden porch. Sarah reached into her purse and fished for a key. Then she unlocked the door and opened
it slowly. “Dad, are you here?” she called out as she walked inside.
“I’m in here, sweetheart.” The voice came from down the hall.
Surprised to find an empty space beside her, she motioned for Jesse to come inside. The tiny foyer was just big enough for them and a set of stairs that led to the second story. They made their way past the stairs and down the hall to a room at the end.
Stanley was in a recliner reading a book. As his eyes fell to Sarah, his face lit up. He set his book and reading glasses on a rustic table beside him and slowly pushed himself out of the recliner to wrap Sarah in a hug.
“Hi, Dad.” She lingered in his arms a little while longer before stepping to the side so that her father could see Jesse. Stanley walked past Sarah and over to him, offering his best smile. “Who do we have here?”
Light from a corner lamp illuminated Stanley’s face. Sarah could see dark circles around his sunken eyes. An indication of weight loss and malnourishment. A pit of worry formed in her stomach. He’s lost too much weight, she thought. Something she could never get used to seeing. Everyone has a shelf life, and most people never had any idea what that number was. They went through life naïve and happy, rarely thinking of an expiration date. But not her father. A doctor had assigned him a number. After that, it became hard to think of anything else.
“This is Jesse Malone. Remember when I used to tell you stories about him?”
“Jesse?” Wrinkles bloomed on his forehead. “Willow tree Jesse?”
Sarah covered a smile with her fingers as Jesse shot her a curious look. “That’s him. His family owns a pet store in Old Town now.”
“Is that so?” Stanley offered his hand.
Jesse shook. “Yes, sir.”
Sarah smiled. Like a strange and beautiful dream, she had a hard time believing that Jesse Malone was standing in her father’s living room. She never in a million years thought that she would see her father and her oldest friend in the same room together, let alone shaking hands.
“What are you kids up to?” Stanley walked back to the worn blue recliner and slowly lowered himself into it. Sarah and Jesse took a seat on the matching sofa across from her dad.
The dark blue sofa sank beneath Sarah, forming nearly perfectly to her body from the years she had spent sitting in this exact spot, usually with a book in hand. She and her father had spent countless hours in silence lost in a world of fiction. The sofa, much like everything else in the house, hadn’t changed much over the years. Her father had the bachelor minimalist décor thing going on. A sofa, recliner, a scarred wooden coffee table with a glass top, and two side lamps were just about everything in the rustic living room.
In an old oak bookcase was Stanley’s vast collection of books. He had everything from Moby Dick and The Adventures of Huck Finn, to some of the more contemporary thrillers from writers such as Lisa Gardner and Harlan Coben. For years it had held one of Sarah’s favorite stories of all time: A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Each Christmas Eve Sarah would stay the night at her father’s. She would put on her favorite flannel pajamas and sit on the blue sofa while her father read that story to her. It broke her heart to think that this would probably be the last year she ever got to relive that Christmas tradition.
“We actually came into town for another reason, but I wanted to stop by and give you some good news.”
“I could use some good news.”
Stealing a quick glance, Sarah noticed how pale and thin Stanley’s fingers had become. It had been four days since she had last seen her father. Meeting with contractors and wedding coordinators and taking care of other business had kept her busy. Sure, he had his neighbor, Norma Liken, to look after him, and she was so good to him, making sure he had everything he needed. And Sarah knew that her father really enjoyed her company. But she couldn’t help but feel terrible for going so long without visiting him.
Now she realized just how limited life was. Stanley’s once strong arms were now little more than skin and bone. The unfairness of mortality was written all over him, and all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and make everything okay. After months of fighting for his life, the final battle was near and no matter how hard he fought, the outcome was going to be the same.
“We are going to break ground on the greenhouse next week.”
Stanley’s eyes grew wide. “That is good news.”
“Jesse’s graduating with a degree in architecture. He’s been to the nursery site and has made some changes to the blueprints.”
“Is that so?” Stanley said, looking at Jesse. “Looks like we’re lucky that you showed up.”
“I don’t know about that,” Jesse said, flashing a modest smile. “It’s a good piece of property that you’ve picked out. And the greenhouse is impressive.”
Stanley gave Sarah’s hand a squeeze. “It’s been our dream for a long time now.”
“That’s right,” she said. “Come on, let’s go outside for some fresh air.”
Sarah helped Stanley out of the recliner, and then he led the way. His gray hair seemed thinner, revealing more of his scalp than she had seen even when he was in the middle of one of his chemo treatment cycles. His white T-shirt and khaki pants hung loosely on his already too thin frame. Although it had been four days since her last visit, she called every day and he had insisted that he was fine. I should have known better, she thought. He never complained, even when he should. He refused to be a burden. She hated that he referred to himself as a burden. He was her father and the only person she had had in her life ever since her mom had left them when she was fourteen.
He looked as though he’d lost ten pounds since her last visit. She couldn’t believe that he had been working on the fence just a week ago. “How are you feeling, Dad?”
“Good. Can’t complain.”
That’s because you refuse to complain. “When’s your next appointment?”
“Next Wednesday, I think.”
They continued through the tiny kitchen. A small oak table where Sarah and her father had played more games of Go Fish than she could count took up much of the floor space. The light blue walls matched the blue and white tile and cream colored antique-looking appliances. For years Sarah had tried to get him to renovate and redecorate, but he didn’t see the point in it. After Sarah’s mom had left him, he had never remarried or even dated much. He seemed to settle into a bachelor’s life and showed little interest in leaving it.
Sarah often worried about him living alone. Probably one of the reasons she spent so much of her time here. That, and the fact that this would always be home to her. Everything about this house reminded Sarah of the best years of her life. Although she had spent most of her teenage years without a mother, when she had left them, their home was filled with a peace that they hadn’t felt in years. And as far as fathers went, Stanley was more than her father; he was her best friend. The one person who was always there for her no matter what.
“Do you mind if I come with you to the doctor’s?”
“I’m sure you have more important things to do than hang out with an old man in a stuffy doctor’s office, sweetheart.” They were at the back door now, and Stanley held it open for them.
Sarah made a mental note to call Dr. Bradtmiller and find out what time she should be there on Wednesday.
The back door opened up onto a darkly stained wooden deck that flowed into a wooden walkway which ran into his yard, disappearing into the darkness.
Stanley reached over and flipped a light switch. Lights throughout the backyard illuminated the scene, revealing the extravagant landscaping that had taken years to perfect. The walkway snaked through the maze of bushes and shrubs, and beneath the walkway was a large pond. Tiny lights beneath the water’s surface lit up colorful rocks and plants and large goldfish swimming in clusters.
Sarah and Jesse followed Stanley down the walkway to the center of his masterpiece and pinnacle of the garden, a large white gazebo. The tiki torches with flickering fake fire
beneath glass fixtures lit their way—a touch Sarah had added.
The gazebo held some of Sarah’s favorite memories. She and her father would spend hours drinking tea during the hot lazy summers. School, religion and politics were some of the topics discussed here. They spoke freely about anything. It was their special place. Sarah remembered one conversation in particular. It had been a year since their mother had left them, and Sarah had no idea why. At fourteen, something that heavy was too much for a child to comprehend, though she had spent hours speculating on it.
Daddy?
He looked over at her with his usual smile. Yes, sweetheart.
She thought about her question for a moment. Why did Mommy leave? The smile on his face faded, like the light from a candle as it burns out. Was it because of me?
He put his arm around her. No, sweetheart. It wasn’t anything you did or anything I did either. Mommy just wasn’t happy.
That was the first and last time they had talked about her mother. Sarah knew, though, that her father was just being kind. Her mother had left because Sarah wasn’t good enough for her; never was, and never would be.
“This place is really neat.” Jesse’s enthusiasm brought her attention back to the gazebo.
“Watch your step,” Sarah said, pointing to two small steps that led up to the gazebo’s entrance.
Once inside, Stanley and Sarah took a seat at a bench off to the side while Jesse stood and looked around.
“Do you like it?” Sarah asked.
“Like it? I can’t believe it,” he said. “You’ve turned your entire backyard into a garden. This has to be one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen in this city. I can’t believe we’re still in Chicago.”
“Sarah and I spent a lot of years putting this place together.”
Dozens of tiny LED lights lined the inside perimeter of the gazebo’s ceiling, creating just enough light for them to see each other clearly. Normally Sarah would be taking in the sight of the landscaping, especially at night when the illumination from the lights reflected off the pond and lit up the plants, casting shadows that added to the mystic look of the garden, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of Jesse. All of a sudden he was the old Jesse again: scrawny with long messy hair and beautiful blue eyes too large for his head. The fearless twelve-year-old boy who offered her shelter from the storm at home.
