She pushes a bunch of buttons as my eyes stay glued to the black-and-white monitor. “And, there it is,” she tells me.
On the screen is a small, black blob. There aren’t words to describe what I’m feeling in this moment. I didn’t know it was possible to instantly love something you can’t hold or touch, but as I look at the screen, my heart overflows with more love and devotion than I’ve ever experienced before.
“You’re measuring right at four weeks,” she tells me.
She goes over when she’ll need to see me again and I barely hear her as I float out of the office on cloud nine. I walk back to my car, staring at the ultrasound picture with a smile on my face the whole way. I can’t wait to tell Nate and see his reaction.
The hardwood floor in our living room is going to have a hole in it if I keep pacing the way I’ve been. I’m practically bouncing with excitement as I watch the clock tick off each second before Nate gets here. I’m about to lose my damn mind. I had sent him a quick text to let him know I made it home and my appointment went fine, but this isn’t something you tell someone over text message.
Finally, I hear the garage door open and his truck pull in. I try my best to school my features so I don’t give it away as soon as he walks in the door.
“Hey, my love,” he says. He strides over to me and gives me a sweet kiss on the lips.
“Hey, how was work?” I’m making conversation, but bursting at the seams to spill my guts.
“Productive. Everything go okay at your appointment?”
I let out a sigh. “Well, I actually need to talk to you about that.”
“Is everything okay?” His eyes widen in alarm, and I almost feel bad for worrying him. But I know it’ll be worth it in a few seconds.
I grab his hand to pull him down next to me so we’re sitting on the couch. “She gave me this.” I hold up the ultrasound picture I had in my other hand and give it to him.
I see the moment realization hits. His mouth parts as he looks up at me in a daze. “Is that—are you—are we?” He fumbles through his words, making me giggle as I nod.
“I’m four weeks along, due July fourteenth.” My words come out just above a whisper as I take in his gorgeous face.
When we tried in the past, I had elaborate plans of how to surprise Nate. I was going to hide a bun in our oven, or have him open a gift with something inside to clue him in. But as I watch his eyes fill with tears, I know this is perfect. The simplicity of the moment is everything it should be and more.
He shakes his head in amazement but doesn’t utter a word as he scoops me up in a crushing hug, holding me tight. “Thank you,” he whispers in my ear.
When he pulls back, his eyes are red and filled with tears. Seeing him this emotional makes the floodgates open. We hold each other and bask in the moment.
He pulls back, cups my face and kisses me hard. “You’re amazing,” he says.
“We’re amazing,” I correct.
“You wanna tell everyone, don’t you?” His eyes sparkle as they look into mine while he still holds my face.
“Yeah, but I’m only four weeks. I think we should wait just to be sure.” It’s a somber thought, but Nate doesn’t let it rain on our parade.
“It might kill me to keep this secret, but that means more time for us to celebrate privately.” His eyebrows move up and down suggestively, and I have no doubts about what he means by celebrate.
I stand up and take a step away from the couch. “I’ll race you!” Before he has a chance to respond, I sprint for the stairs and climb them as fast as I can. Unfortunately, I’m not quick enough and he eats up my lead within seconds. Grabbing me by my waist, he tickles my side, which makes me fall to the ground. He picks me up without effort and throws me over his shoulder before hauling us the rest of the way upstairs.
I let out a yelp when he smacks my ass and my core tightens. Celebrating might prove to be really fun.
SIX WEEKS PREGNANT and I think I’m going to burst. Not because I’m showing or anything, but because it’s been two weeks since I found out and we haven’t told a soul. I’m so afraid I’ll let it slip, especially since it’s all I can think about. Once the excitement and shock wore off, Nate and I decided to tell everyone once I hit the twelve-week mark. Until then, I’ll suffer in silence as I keep the biggest secret of my life.
Sitting on the couch, I rub my flat stomach that has yet to show proof there’s a tiny human growing inside it. The only evidence is the lack of energy and nausea I feel on a daily basis.
Paige, Scarlett, and Lydia are coming over while Nate is having a few beers with Marcus and Sean. I’m glad he’s hanging out with our friends again. For so long he alienated himself by being absent. He used to be close to my friends, and it’s nice to see him interacting with Lydia’s husband and brother-in-law. It’s a welcomed change that reminds me of the old days while welcoming new faces into our circle. Plus, having some guy friends will be good for him.
There’s a knock on the door so I spring up off the couch to answer it. “Hey!” I greet. I hug each one as they walk through the door.
“I brought the booze,” Scarlett announces as she holds up a bottle of wine in each hand. I’d expect nothing less. She’s always down to have some drinks. Hell, I usually am too, but given my current state, I’m going to have to sit this one out. I just hope no one gets suspicious.
We follow Scarlett into the kitchen where she pulls down four glasses. “I’m not going to have any,” I tell her. She freezes and turns around slowly to face me. You would’ve thought I told her I was becoming a nun or something.
“Charlotte’s turning down wine?” Paige asks incredulously. “Are you pregnant or something?”
I do my best to school my features, willing my face to remain passive and not give anything away. Shrugging nonchalantly, I reply, “I’m trying this new diet.”
“More for me,” Lydia chimes in. “I have nine months of sobriety to make up for.”
“Speaking of, where’s Ella at?” I ask, diverting the conversation from me.
“She’s with Marcus’s parents.”
“Nice,” I reply.
I think about my mom and dad’s reaction when I tell them the big news. Mom was one of the few people who I told about our fertility issues. I didn’t even share our struggle with the girls. It was painful to talk about, but my mom is my best friend and I tell her everything. She’d reassure me constantly that it would happen when it was meant to. At first, I believed her, knowing patience was key. But as time passed, I held no hope in her comforting words. Now it’s happened when we least expected it, and I realize she was right all along. It sucks they live in Arizona and I won’t be able to see their faces in person though. Maybe we can Skype or something.
“I feel like we haven’t gotten together in forever,” Scarlett says, bringing me back to the present. “What’s the latest and greatest?”
“Ella started sleeping through the night,” Lydia replies with a relieved smile.
“At six months old?” I ask in disbelief.
She nods proudly. “Well, almost seven, but yep.” Bringing her glass to her lips, she takes a sip.
“Dude, you got so lucky with that one. Beware: your next baby will be the devil,” Paige tells her. We all laugh as Lydia shakes her head.
“Noted,” she says.
“I’m actually taking a step into leaving my torture chamber, or my place of employment as it’s commonly called,” Paige says sarcastically.
“And what’s that first step?” I ask. I swear if she says she’s going to quit one more time and doesn’t do it, I’m going to write her letter of resignation for her.
“First, I’m going to quit bitching. Second, I’ve started looking for another job. I know I’ve said that a million times, but I’m serious about it now. The bank I work for is sucking the life out of me. I’ve found some promising leads, so I’m going to send my resume in to a few of them and see what happens.”
“That’s awe
some,” I say.
“Drinks will be on me when I get out of there.” She holds up her wine glass and takes a healthy gulp.
“What about you?” Scarlett asks me.
I hesitate, no update on my life coming to mind other than the bun I’m hiding in the oven. Everyone looks at me expectantly. “Nate and I are doing good,” I finally offer up.
Warm smiles surround me. “I had a feeling you guys would work things out,” Paige says.
“Really?”
“I think we all did, or we at least hoped.” I look to the other two girls and they nod in agreement.
“I’m glad you guys had faith, because I honestly didn’t for a while.” Thinking about how close I came to walking away forever is startling at times. I hate myself for feeling like I gave up so easily, but I’m following Nate’s logic of everything happens for a reason.
“The important thing is that you’re here now.”
“Cheers to that.” Scarlett raises her glass and the others follow suit. Looking around, I grab the water bottle I was drinking from on the other counter and hold it up to toast as well.
Time gets away from us while we laugh and gossip. We avoid all conversation involving Ethan and the break in, and I’m thankful for that. I don’t realize how late it is until the front door rattles like someone is struggling to get in. With my brow furrowed, I look in that direction as the rest of the girls stop talking. A few seconds later, Nate comes stumbling in, a silly grin on his face as soon as he sees me.
“Hey, my love.” His words aren’t slurred, but come out slow, letting me know he’s pretty buzzed.
“Hey,” I say with a laugh. “Did you have fun?”
He nods, the goofy smile never leaving his face as he stalks toward me like a predator. Well, that’s what I imagine he thinks he’s doing at least. When he gets closer, he points at me. “You. Me. Upstairs. Now.”
I arch my eyebrow, amused by his antics. “Sorry, ladies,” he says, his eyes never leaving mine. “I need to love on my wife. You can either stay for the show or see yourselves out.” With that, he bends over and scoops me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I squeal from the unexpected movement.
“Nate! Put me down,” I plead, but it’s no use as he walks us toward the stairs. With my ass pointing in the opposite direction of my friends, he slides his hand up my dress and runs his finger over my seam through my panties. I gasp in surprise as my body immediately responds, my core clenching in anticipation.
“We’ll catch you later!” I hear Lydia shout, laughter in her voice as Nate continues up the stairs.
“Bye!” I respond.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I need to be inside you,” he tells me after he throws me onto the bed.
“Is this the alcohol talking?” I joke, sitting up on my elbows while he looks down at me.
“Hell no. I’d have my dick buried in you twenty-four seven if I could.” I clench my thighs together and bite my lip. “Don’t think I don’t notice you squeezing your legs together. Need some relief already?” The cocky side of him is frustrating, but so damn hot too. He hasn’t even touched me and I’m already wet. “Spread them for me,” he demands. Without taking my eyes off of his, I do as he requests, letting my knees fall to the side.
“Mmm, I’ll bet you’re ready for me. Am I right?”
I lick my lips and swallow. “Why don’t you come find out?”
A slow, salacious grin spreads across his face. “Don’t mind if I do.”
Crawling toward me on the bed with lust-filled eyes, he grabs me by the hips and slides me down the bed until I’m lying flat on my back. With my legs still wide apart, he kisses down my right thigh and back up my left. Each caress of his mouth on my skin is the sweetest torture as my toes curl and my breath hitches.
My hands grab his hair on their own accord and attempt to direct him to the place I need him most, but he resists. “You’re an eager one this evening.” His hot breath hits me at the apex of my thighs, and it’s enough to drive me insane.
“Please, Nate.” I’m not above begging at this point. Between the way he makes me feel and these damn hormones, I’m one flick away from ecstasy.
“Please, what? What do you need, my love?”
“Your mouth on me,” I pant out the words.
Hooking his finger into the side of my panties, he moves them to the side and blows a steady stream of cold air on my heated flesh. His other finger gently grazes up my leg, over my mound, and circles the very edge of my center. He’s so damn close to where I want him I’m ready to scream. Finally, when I don’t think I can take the teasing anymore, his finger circles my clit with slow, steady pressure.
“Yes,” I let out in a whisper as my back arches off the bed.
I’m drenched before he finally slides a finger inside of me. His mouth follows the same movements of his finger from seconds ago, and I begin to see stars.
“Just like that. Oh, God, Nate. Faster, please,” I plead, but he maintains the same pace, prolonging the journey to euphoria. It takes an eternity, but when he finally gets me there, the most intense orgasm I’ve ever experienced wreaks havoc on my body. My center tightens around his fingers, pulsating as I come back down to earth.
Opening my eyes wide, I blink several times to bring myself back to reality. When I get a look at Nate, he looks up at me with a satisfied smirk on his face. Well, mister, two can play at this game.
I get up off the bed and stand at the end of it. He rolls over from his position on his stomach to track my movements. With my pointer finger, I motion him toward me in a come hither gesture. Like the good husband he is, he complies without complaint.
“These won’t do,” I say, pointing to the offensive pants that are holding what I need hostage. His eyes dance with a combination of amusement, intrigue, and lust as he stands and removes his clothes.
I take a minute to admire this beautiful man as he stands before me completely nude. He’s solid from top to bottom, and especially in between. When I take in his large erection, I can’t hide the satisfied smirk that possesses my face when I get a glimpse of the bead of moisture at his tip.
I push on his chest, forcing him to sit back down on the bed and drop to my knees. I return the favor of torture as I grab the base of his erection. Maintaining eye contact, I lick him from root to tip then repeat. Switching it up, I pull him into my mouth in excruciating slow strokes. My tongue flicks the sensitive skin at the head of his cock before I move back down his thick length again. Beneath my free hand, I feel his thigh tighten up and know he’s trying to show restraint. The knowledge empowers me.
“Enough,” he growls. He picks me up in one swift move before throwing me back on the bed.
He reaches under my dress and pulls my panties off in one, rough motion. The primal need in his movements turns me on even more. Positioning himself at my entrance, he sinks into me with a single thrust. My head goes back as I let out a moan from the exquisite fullness.
He slides in and out of me and I hang on for the ride. I lean up and capture his mouth with mine, tasting myself on his lips. “I’m close,” I say against his lips.
“Let me hear you.” He pulls my bottom lip between his teeth before releasing it with a pop. I yell out his name as he makes me come for the second time. My body is limp as he slows his pace, allowing me to gradually build up again.
“On top, gorgeous.” He flips us so I’m straddling his lap and he’s leaned up against the headboard. I line his rock-hard length up with me before slowly sinking down on him. I let out another sigh as my eyes close while I savor each glorious inch of him. “Arms up,” he instructs. When I raise them, he pulls my dress up over my head to reveal my bare breasts. “No bra,” he admires. “I approve.”
There’s something empowering about being in control of our movements. With every change in pace and roll of my hips, I relish in watching Nate become more unhinged.
He pulls a taut nipple into his mouth, sucking hard. The second of pain makes me clench dow
n around his cock as a breathy moan escapes my lips. He continues teasing my breast with his mouth while palming the other with his large hand.
“I’m close again,” I warn.
“I’m right behind you.” His voice is tight, and I know he’s holding back for me. Nate is a selfless lover; always has been. He’ll deny his own release until he knows I’m completely sated.
A few seconds later, I’m overcome by pleasure as my body collapses forward and rests against Nate. I’m spent, unable to move if the house was on fire right now. Taking my ass in his hands, he lifts me up and down a few more times before his grip on me tightens and he goes rigid.
“Damn, babe. You’re incredible.” He kisses the side of my head while my face is still buried in the crook of his neck.
We’re both panting and sweaty, our bodies utterly exhausted. I rise up slowly and let him fall out of me. He slides down until he’s lying on his back and holds his arm out in invitation. Following his lead, I snuggle up to his side with my head on his chest, listening to his strong heartbeat that is pumping faster than usual.
I draw circles on his bare chest with my finger as his hand rubs my back, completely content right now.
“This is how it should always be,” he says into the quiet room. “I’m so sorry I lost my way and wasn’t taking care of you like I used to. I swear to you I’ll never let it happen again.”
I listen to his strong heartbeat, the same one he once said beat for me, and I believe him. I feel his deep remorse and desire to bring us back to where we were. It’s easy to forget the bad stuff when we’re like this, but it’s always lurking in the shadows. I haven’t forgotten, and neither has he. We’re choosing to ignore it for the sake of rebuilding our marriage, and I’m okay with that. With enough time, our shadows will drown in the light.
He squeezes me before resuming his task of rubbing my back. Neither of us says another word as we drift off to sleep, comfortable in the knowledge that we’re right where we’re supposed to be.
Together.
IT’S BEEN TEN months since I told Nate I wanted a divorce, but it feels like years. So much has happened in such a short time, but I couldn’t be happier with where our lives are headed now. We’re still going to wait another five weeks to announce the news that our family is expanding, but for now, Nate is taking me out for the day.
Risk and Reward Page 16
