by Sarah Swan
Ashley shook her head. “It’s not magic at all, Tracy. Besides, magic is just what we call phenomena that science hasn’t yet explained. Do you know how rare it is, what you can do? What any of us can do? Although, I can’t, anymore…” she trailed off, staring blankly into the distance.
“What do you mean you can’t? Ashley? Ashley!”
“Wha—? Oh. I drew so much power against you that… that…” she choked off what sounded like a mournful sob, “…that I lost the ability to use the crystals.”
I frowned. This was an ironic turn of events. She tried to scare me away from the crystals, and in the process, lost the ability to use them herself? Despite what she did to me, why did I feel pity for her, of all things? She looked on the verge of tears.
“You couldn’t have lost it completely, could you?” I asked gently.
She looked at me, and her eyes glistened with moisture. “…No,” she admitted. “Liz says it’ll come back eventually. But, I’m not so sure. It might be months before I even get a glimmer of what I could do before. Then again, it might never come back.”
“I’m sorry.” Surprisingly, I actually meant it. I could tell just by looking at her how hard she was taking this. She looked empty, like a shell of her former self. There was no spirit left in her eyes, no passion or desire.
“It’s my own fault,” she said. Then she gave a mirthless chuckle. “I paid the price for what I tried to do to you. I knew the risk, but did it anyway. I guess my emotions took over common sense.”
“But why did you come after me in the first place? And why were you so nasty when we first met? And—” I hesitated, conscious of potentially breaking the delicate balance we now held, “—why are you talking to me, now?”
“I could sense the ability within you. As soon as I walked up the stairs that first day and saw you with Liz, I knew how strong you were. Stronger than any of us. And yet, you were an outsider – some new kid nobody knew yet. The power we can all access, and the secrets that go along with it, ties all of us together with a bond stronger than if we were sisters. It’s a small group. I knew from the moment I saw you that you would break in. I thought…” She barked a laugh. “It seems silly to think of now, but I thought, if I could alienate you, you wouldn’t want to join us. I guess it was threatening to have someone like you pop out of nowhere and threaten to disrupt everything we’ve worked for.”
“But why would I disrupt anything? I told you – I don’t want anything to do with any of this!”
Ashley gave a knowing chuckle, as if to say how naïve. “You can’t run from who you are, Tracy.”
“Then who am I? Liz used a name, once—”
“Crystal seeker,” Ashley put in. “She came up with it. It fits what we do. So, we adopted it as our own.”
“But I’m not that!”
“You are, already, more than you even known.”
“This still makes no sense. I don’t understand why all of you want it so much? What’s the point of… using the crystals?” It felt odd saying that. “What does it do? What’s the purpose?”
“Finally, you’re asking the right questions,” said Ashley. “Unfortunately, I’m not the one to talk to about that. You’ll want Liz.”
“Why can’t you tell me?”
“I can, but Liz asked us not to, yet.”
“Liz asked you not to? Why? What? Is she like the leader of the group?”
“Exactly.” Ashley smiled. “There’s a hierarchy among us. It’s not mentioned much, but it goes first by latent strength, then experience. Liz is the strongest of us all. She was the first to discover what we could do. She has the most experience, as well. But you… you are so much stronger than anyone we’ve met before – even Liz.”
“How do you know? And what do you mean, anyone you’ve met? I thought it was just the four of you?”
Ashley shook her head. “Not quite. The truth is, there are many girls here who have the ability. For the majority of them – all of them, actually – it’s so small, though, that even if they were given the chance to learn, they wouldn’t be able to do much more than tell an active crystal apart from a regular lump of rock.”
“Wait,” I protested. “Only girls? What about guys?”
“Only girls have the ability. At least, as far as we know. This is all still fairly new to us. Most of what we know has come directly from Liz.”
“You said she was the first to discover it?”
“About two years ago. Some, like her – and you – have an innate talent for sensing the aura of the crystals. The talent would blossom by itself, no matter what, at some point of your life. You might not know what it was, had you not come here. But you did, and that’s why I think it is no coincidence.”
“So what if I hadn’t come here?” Ashley opened her mouth, no doubt to say that wouldn’t have happened. But, I jumped in before she had the chance. “Hypothetically, I mean.”
“Hypothetically?” Ashley chewed her lower lip. “I mean, I really don’t see how… Never mind. You want to know my guess? I think it would begin with the feeling that there was something missing in your life. That would be a start. You’d find yourself dissatisfied with everything. Even things that gave you pleasure before would no longer be interesting. Maybe you’d try to cover it up, by losing yourself in your work, in school, in… boys? But no matter what you did, the feeling that something was missing would constantly nag at you. Except you wouldn’t know what it was. It would be like an empty hollow in your body, begging to be filled, but no matter what you tried it just wouldn’t go away.
“I mean – and I’m just guessing here, by the way – you would probably develop some neurotic habits. You’d become obsessively compulsive over the tiniest things, perhaps. Maybe even worse. And yet, no matter what you did, no matter where you went, nothing would satisfy you. In time, that dissatisfaction would grow into a longing… a longing for something you didn’t even know exists.
“It would drive you crazy. And sure, if your mind were strong, you might be able to resist it, to fight it off for a while, even to function in society for some time. Eventually, though, you would snap.” She startled me by breaking the twig she held in half to emphasize the point. “I don’t know what would happen, then.”
I can fight it off, I swore to myself. I’ll fight it off if it takes everything out of me.
“I know that look,” Ashley said. “It reminds me of how Liz gets sometimes. Very stubborn. You two are more alike than you realize.” She glanced over her shoulder, to where all the food smells were coming from. “Well, it looks like breakfast is nearly ready. Are you good to walk on your own, or should we bring some over to you?”
“I can manage,” I muttered, pushing myself up. My legs felt a little heavy, but infinitely better than when I just came to.
“Okay.” Ashley turned around, and started toward the small fire.
“Ashley, wait,” I called out.
“Hmm?” She looked back.
“You said something before… and I think Liz said it, too. That I almost killed you…?” I let the question hang in the air, because I didn’t really know how to finish it.
“Oh. That. Don’t worry yourself over that! You’re not some sort of murderer. I doubt you even know what happened.”
“I don’t. That’s why I’m asking you.”
“Well, it’s simple, really. When I came after you with my crystal, I wasn’t trying to kill you, obviously. But when the aura of the crystal mixed with that raging fire – that was when some subconscious part of me took over. You felt it – or rather, your brain felt it – and you perceived the threat. You went into self-defense mode. So when the aura of my crystal, mixed with the fire, touched your crystal, our minds became linked. There was a struggle – one which I don’t think either of us was aware of. A battle of the subconscious, if you will. Anyway, you drew so much power… it’s almost incomprehensible. You ripped control of my crystal out from my mind with a surge of power to save yourself. The tin
iest sliver more, and I don’t think I would have survived. My brain would have simply burned out.” She smiled sadly, and that distant look was more pronounced than ever. “As it were, my ability to use the crystals was wrenched from me at that point. I don’t know if it’ll ever come back.”
I shivered. Everything I was learning about the crystals made them seem so much more dangerous, so much more ominous, than anything I was comfortable around. “All that risk…” I said. “Why would you guys want any of this?”
Ashley sighed. “Liz is really the one who should explain this to you. The crystals, when they interact with our minds, allow us to link ourselves to the surrounding world. You can think of them as a tool we use to unlock the real potential of our minds. Everything in this world is connected, in some way, shape, or form. Using the crystals allows you to sense those connections, but, more importantly, to manipulate them as you wish.”
“What do you mean, connected?”
“To be honest, this part’s really beyond me. Madison is the one who likes all the theoretical stuff. You should talk to her about it. As far as I understand, there exists a certain… flow… to all the objects of this world. It exists between every single molecule, every single atom. It came into being at the origins of the universe. Everything that exists around us today came from one source, from one common beginning. So everything resonates in that common frequency.
“As time passes, over the eons, the resonance between everything grows weaker. We’re constantly moving farther and farther in time from the point of origin. But it’s never something that will go away completely. So the interesting thing is that when the atoms come together to form common structures—elements, molecules, rocks, trees, living bodies – their resonance strengthens again. It’s almost as if they were made to come together. Or perhaps it’s because of the closeness, the connection of those larger structures, is more similar to what things were like at the start.
“That’s where we—and the crystals—come in. Our minds are made up of billions upon billions of tiny little neurons, all resonating with that common frequency. Somewhere along the line, some sort of configuration of those neurons gave rise to conscious thought. It turns out that there’s an innate capacity, built right into our brains, that allows us to exploit the connections among all the objects of the world. The crystals just allow us to unlock that capacity, which is usually hidden away.”
“And then what?”
“Well, if you’re strong enough, you can sense the connections and mold them as you like. The result? Unlimited power. Control over anything in this world. It gives us the energy to make fire, to move mountains, to control the weather – to do absolutely anything we want.”
“That doesn’t sound like something to take lightly.”
Ashley laughed. “Of course, it’s not as simple as that. Most of the connections are beyond any one person to manipulate. Even moving a small rock across the ground is more than any of us can do. But! There is a way to unlock more power. It has to do with triangulation.”
“Triangulation?”
“A sort of link created between a group of people. A group that consists of three – no more, no less. The strength of each person is not just summed up, but exponentially multiplied to give the group enough power to manipulate connections of any kind. Of course, two people in the group have to cede control to the third, and that’s sometimes problematic.”
“How come?”
“Oh, that’s way beyond me. Anyway, this isn’t something I really want to talk about much longer. It just makes me realize how much more I’m going to miss it.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Come on! Food’s finally ready. It’s been a long night for all of us. I can only imagine what it was like for you.”
Chapter Nineteen – An Unexpected Visitor
I walked with Ashley to the cooking fire. My legs were still a little unsteady, so I had to be careful to avoid falling flat on my face. The three other girls were all seated around the fire. None of them looked like they’d slept a wink.
Liz smiled when she saw me. “How are you feeling?”
“Better than last night.”
“A little more at ease with what you learned?”
“Maybe.”
I picked up a lone blanket that was draped over a seat and wrapped it around myself. It wasn’t cold, but somehow being wrapped up made me feel safer.
“Don’t you want to know what happened last night?” Eve asked, biting off a piece of meat. It was completely indistinguishable. More chunks of it were hanging over the fire.
“What do you mean? And what are you eating?”
“Rabbit,” Madison replied, and made a face. “Not for me, though. I’m vegetarian.”
The surprises just kept coming with these girls. “Where’d you find rabbit?”
“Oh, they’re all over these woods,” Liz answered. “Catching them is the tricky part, but using the crystals makes it a breeze.”
“And then you just… kill them? Yourselves?” I didn’t have a problem with eating meat, but that was when it was packaged and prepared a long way away from me. Killing an animal with my bare hands felt dirty.
“It’s not as bad as you think. If you use a crystal and direct enough energy toward it, the little critters pass out. They don’t feel any pain.”
“Oh.” For some reason, it didn’t make me feel any better.
“You want some?”
“Not really.” I looked at Eve. “What do you mean about last night?”
“After you ran away,” Eve said plainly. “Before we found you.”
“I tripped and hit my head against a rock,” I said. “I remember that.”
“Not that. What was it that made you trip? You didn’t experience anything peculiar, did you?”
“Actually, I did.” I remembered how the air around me seemed to shift out of nowhere. “It felt like reality were continuously rearranging itself.”
“That’s what I mean,” Eve said, biting again into the rabbit. “Let me guess: you saw distortions?”
“I – yeah, how’d you know?”
“That’s why we didn’t want to let you go,” Liz said. “You weren’t over the after-sickness yet, and there was a threat of a relapse. That’s what happened.”
“Oh.”
Using the crystals seemed to cause no end of problems. I stared out into space, thinking. So much had happened to me in the past week. I needed time to work through it all—especially after the revelation with the crystals. The other girls, maybe sensing my mood, ate their meal in silence. After a few minutes, Liz spoke up.
“So, I’ll bet you have a hundred questions for us, don’t you?”
“Actually, Ashley explained a lot.”
“Oh.” Liz shot Ashley a look. “Well, if there’s anything you want to know…”
“Why me?” I asked. “Why did you have to show me everything? Couldn’t you just have left me alone?”
“Your latent ability would have come out sooner or later. Better that it happened under our guidance.”
“Your guidance?” I asked incredulously. “I was nearly killed, passed out twice, and somehow, apparently, nearly killed Ashley!”
“And, yet, you’re still here,” Liz said. “As are the rest of us.”
“And the way you kept me in the dark about what was happening when you brought me here? You call that guidance?”
“A disagreement within the group,” Liz said simply. “Things have been patched over since.”
“I’d hope so!” It was scary thinking what these crystals could do. And what the girls wanted to do with them. I didn’t know exactly what that was. However, Ashley had given me enough of a hint for me to know I wanted no part of it. Especially if it meant more of the after-sickness. And potentially finding myself again in the horrible void! It was too dangerous. “Are there others on the island, then, who are part of the group? Your other friends? Zoe, and those girls?”
“No,” Liz shook her head. “We are the
only ones who are a part of the crystal seekers.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“Of course not! This is something that stays between us, forever.”
“Well,” I said, slowly getting up, “I appreciate you showing me everything. But, I think it’s time for me to go…” I took a few steps back, and was surprised when nobody stopped me. “What’s the way back to the lake?”
“Madison can show you,” Liz said, and Madison popped up.
“I need to get some food, anyway,” she confided as she walked up to me.
“Err… thanks,” I said. After all the trouble from last night, they were just going to let me walk away now? Not that I was complaining. But it was an odd contrast in their behavior.
Madison started leading the way, and I followed. Before we’d gotten ten steps from the fire, though, Liz called out to us.
“Tracy?”
I turned back. “Yes?”
“You’re free to go now, of course, since you’re safe from the after-sickness. But I need to ensure that you keep what you learned from us a secret.”
“Of course,” I said hastily.
“I need you to swear on it.”
“I swear.”
“An oath, Tracy, sworn on the crystal itself.”
I frowned. I’d never given an oath before. But if it was enough for her to let me go… “Sure. What do I say?”
Liz walked over to me, reached into her pocket, and pulled out a tiny wadded up piece of silver cloth. The fabric seemed to reflect the light. She drew it open carefully, and inside I saw three perfectly shaped crystals. Even though they were each identical, I could tell immediately which the one I had used was.
“Pick your crystal up, place it in the palm of your hand, and swear onto it that you will not speak a word of what you’ve learned to anyone, save for us.”
