by Marina Epley
“I know you,” one of them says. “You’re the level 5 breaker, aren’t you?”
“Not really,” I answer, not wanting to make the effort to fully explain Holtzmann’s experiment.
“Can you really read thoughts?” another protestor asks curiously. “Can you make heads explode with just your stare?”
I sigh tiredly. I’m sick of hearing this same nonsense over and over again.
“Don’t you even bother to read the newspapers?” I ask. “There are plenty of articles about all that stuff.”
“We don’t believe Elimination propaganda,” they answer emphatically.
I assure them that although Elimination had manufactured a lot of lies in past, the more recent articles are factual. The protestors nod their heads in understanding, but continue staring at me as if I’m some sort of freak. And I soon begin feeling like a freak.
The protestors finally do follow me inside the prison, continuing to pepper me with questions. I patiently explain whatever I can. I realize they actually know very little about breakers.
Thirty minutes later we come to an agreement that not all breakers are evil incarnate, and not all protestors are overly aggressive and mean-spirited. They assure me that their hatred of breakers isn’t personal.
“We just don’t believe breakers and ordinary folks should live in the same place,” their leader says. “We don’t feel safe around your kind.”
Having warmed up, the protestors leave, returning to their unenviable duty. I have no doubts that by tomorrow they’ll be back to calling me a terrorist.
I sit on the floor for a while, trying to read my book. My eye soon begins to water and I get a dull, annoying headache. I shut the book and once more proceed on down the prison passageway.
Passing by Jessie’s room, I notice a light coming from under the door. She must be awake, although it’s only about four in the morning. I approach her door and stop, hesitating. Would a visit at this time be appropriate? I don’t know and am becoming too tired to think clearly. The lack of sleep has me perceiving everything through a hazy fog. What if Jessie just forgot to turn her light off? She’ll be furious, should I wake her.
I spend a few moments listening for any sound coming from her room. I hear nothing, so I cough loudly a few times and pause, listening again. I begin wondering whether my deaf ear may be the reason why I can’t hear anything. I step closer toward the door, pressing my left ear against the surface. My common sense still detects that my behavior is off, but I’m too exhausted to care about protocol.
Jessie suddenly opens the door and I almost fall into her room.
“What the hell?” she asks, laughing. “Have you decided to begin stalking me now?”
“I just saw the light and assumed you were awake,” I answer, grinning stupidly. “I thought maybe you would like some company.”
Jessie offers no comment, staring blankly at me.
“May I come in?” I ask. “It’s awfully lonely out here in this dark corridor.”
She remains silent for a few more moments.
“Rex, do you even realize how awkward this situation is?” she asks.
I think about it for a second and realize that my intentions could be easily misunderstood.
“C’mon, Jess,” I plead. “It’s just me.”
“True that,” she admits. “Come on in, stalker.”
I step into the room. It’s brightly illuminated. She gestures toward a chair and I plop down. Jessie sprawls out across her bed, lying on her stomach and opening a book.
“What will Kitty think when she learns that you spent part of the night in my room?” Jessie asks mockingly. “She’s a telepath, you know. You can’t keep secrets from her.”
“Kitty likes you, Jess” I state. “And she trusts you. She knows you wouldn’t try to take advantage of me.”
Jessie rolls her eyes.
“Read your book,” she commands.
I stare into my book, but can’t focus on reading for too long. This psychological material is too complicated. Instead, I begin thinking about the night Kitty and I spent in Jessie’s apartment. We were on the verge of despair, being hunted by both police and Elimination. And Jessie offered her friendship and help, even though she didn’t know us.
“I like you too, Jess,” I say sincerely.
“You’re becoming creepier with each passing minute,” Jessie comments, smiling.
“I’m just trying to say that I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for Kitty and me,” I add. Jessie doesn’t answer. “But why?” I ask. “Why help strangers?”
“Well,” Jessie says. “Probably because I’m an idiot. I admit I shouldn’t have gotten involved in your trouble. Although if I had to do it over again, I’d probably do the same thing.”
She returns to her book. I watch her carefully. Her face still bears scars from the beating she took back in the Elimination prison. If she hadn’t helped us, Wheeler wouldn’t have captured her and Jessie’s parents would be still alive.
“I’m sorry for everything you’ve gone through on our behalf,” I say.
Jessie shrugs, remaining silent.
“Why did you leave your parents?” I ask. “Did you reveal your breaker abilities?”
“If you don’t shut the hell up and let me read, I’m kicking you out of my room,” she threatens.
I don’t bother her with any further questions. Several minutes later she closes her book and says, “I had to leave home because I killed four people.”
Her voice sounds unemotional and her expression doesn’t change. She sits up on the bed, sighs, and tells me her story. It’s the first time Jessie has opened up about her past with me.
“My parents had a small farm in the south,” she says. “We weren’t rich, but we were getting by. They knew I was a breaker, but they didn’t seem to care. I was their only child and they both truly loved me. My dad often took me hunting. It was he who taught me how to use a gun.”
She pauses, smiling at the memory. I remain silent, recalling my own time living on a farm.
“One day while I was away, four guys broke in our home,” she continues. “I don’t know why they chose our house, because we were far from rich. They didn’t take anything, just trashed the rooms and hurt my parents. They almost beat my dad to death and broke my mom’s skull when she tried to run away. I returned in the evening and took my parents to the hospital. The next day I asked our neighbors to look after them. We had some really nice neighbors. And then I took my dad’s rifle and followed after those criminals. It wasn’t too hard to track them down.” She gives me a sharp look, adding, “I killed all of them.”
“How old were you?” I ask carefully.
“Sixteen,” she answers. “That was six years ago, although it seems like yesterday. I had to leave home after that, because everybody knew who gunned those guys down. And regardless of their being criminals, it was still considered homicide.”
Jessie returns to reading her book. I sit in silence, thinking.
“I’m very sorry,” I finally say.
“Yeah, me too,” Jessie sighs.
I want to add something more, but nothing comes to mind.
“What are you reading?” I ask, changing the subject.
“A sci-fi novel,” Jessie answers.
“Is it any good?”
“It’s interesting. A lot of fighting and killing. I believe it was written before the Eruption, but somehow reminds me of our world. People going around shooting and killing each other. It’s the normal everyday way of life for them.” She pauses, staring at me. “Like to know what they call that type of way of life in this book? A kill culture.”
“What?” I ask, not fully catching what she said. I haven’t slept the entire night and my brain is functioning slowly. “What the heck is that supposed to mean?”
“It’s a setting where murder is normalized and accepted by society,” Jessie explains. “The more you kill, the better person you’re believed to be.”
“What does that have to do with the real world?” I ask. “Murder is not really accepted in our society now.”
“Really?” Jessie grins. “And just how many people have you killed?”
I can’t answer, having lost count long ago.
“Mine were mostly done in self-defense,” I say.
Jessie continues looking at me, still wearing the same knowing grin.
I recall Rebecca feeling ashamed of the fact she had never killed anybody. I think of Kitty admitting to how she enjoys hurting people. I also think of myself and everything I’ve done.
“I don’t know,” I say. “You think we might still change things somehow?”
“I doubt it,” Jessie answers.
She returns to her reading. I think over her words. I wonder whether killing Guardian would actually help to alter the current situation. Will our world be able to change, should this war end? Will I ever be able to return to normal life and stop being a killer?
I see no easy answers to these questions. We’ll just have to do our best and see what happens.
***
I return to my room around seven in the morning. Kitty is sleeping and it’s still too early to wake her. I sit on the edge of the bed, reading Jessie’s book. Suddenly, I’m overcome with dizziness. A moment later Kitty sits up, gazing at me with unfocused eyes.
“Rex,” she mutters. “I feel sick.”
I understand that my sickness isn’t real. Kitty and I just telepathically shared the same sensation.
I steady myself and help Kitty into the bathroom. She throws up, kneeling in front of the toilet.
“Just try to relax,” I say, holding her by her shoulders.
She finally stops vomiting and plops down on the floor, leaning back against a wall. I wet a towel in the sink and wipe her face. Kitty remains silent, shivering and looking at me with a miserable expression. My heart aches with pity. She seems so helpless and ill. Her shaved head gives her more than a passing resemblance to a cancer patient. She’s only wearing a t-shirt and underwear, and her legs and arms appear too thin. Only now I realize how much weight Kitty has lost the last few days.
“You’ll be all right,” I say soothingly, wiping her face. “We’ll take you in to see a doctor today.”
Blood begins flowing from Kitty’s nose, dripping onto her shirt. She touches her nose, looks at her stained fingers and says calmly, “Rex… I think I’m dying.”
I become truly scared.
“Just hold on,” I say, running into the bedroom. I snatch a blanket from the bed and return to the bathroom. I quickly wrap Kitty in the blanket, pick her up and carry her into the corridor. I approach the door to Marcus’s quarters and kick it a few times.
“What’s happened?!” Marcus exclaims, opening the door.
“Kitty is very sick!” I shout. “Where’s Holtzmann?”
“He must be over at the hospital,” the officer answers, staring at Kitty. “He is probably preparing everything for your next injections.”
“Take us there!” I command. “Now!”
Five minutes later I’m in the back seat of Elimination sedan, holding Kitty in my arms. Marcus drives, heading toward the hospital as fast as morning traffic allows. We run a few red lights. Kitty’s eyes roll up inside her head.
“Stay with me, Kitty,” I say, slapping her cheeks lightly. “Please, stay awake.”
She mumbles something incoherent, before passing out cold. I don’t know what to do. What if she doesn’t make it to the hospital?
No more experiments, I think desperately. I won’t let Kitty inject any more dangerous drugs.
“Can’t you drive any faster?!” I yell at Marcus.
“I’m driving as fast as I can!” he shouts back.
We finally arrive at the hospital. I run inside, frantically calling out for help. The alarmed doctors take Kitty from my arms, placing her on a gurney. They head further into the hospital, Marcus and I follow. Holtzmann arrives, demanding an explanation for all the commotion.
“Your drug is killing her!” I yell. “That’s what is happening.”
Holtzmann’s expression becomes startled and he chases after the gurney, following them into the examination room. The doctors allow him to assist, but they require Marcus and I to wait in the corridor.
“What the hell?!” I shout, completely losing it. “I want to know what’s wrong with her. I’m not gonna wait out here!”
“C’mon, Rex,” Marcus says. “We should follow their instructions.”
“I don’t give a damn about their instructions!” I answer, trying to brush past the medics blocking the doorway.
Marcus grabs me by the shoulder, saying something. I push him away. The next moment he takes my arm, quickly twisting it behind my back.
“Calm down,” he says. “You can’t do anything for Kitty at the moment. The doctors will take care of her.”
I stop resisting. My shoulder hurts and I suffer a quick flashback from a time I struggled with Elimination guards back in the research facility.
“I’m all right,” I say, gaining control of myself.
Marcus momentarily releases his grip.
“Sorry about that,” I add.
“No worries,” he answers. “I understand how you feel.”
We sit down outside her door, remaining quiet and waiting for any news on Kitty. Waiting is the only option left.
Chapter 26
A couple hours later, Holtzmann walks out of the examination room and proclaims that Kitty’s health isn’t in danger.
“Her condition has stabilized,” he states. “Her blood test results are good and reflect no reason for concern.”
“What?!” I exclaim. “Do you even realize how sick she was?”
Holtzmann states confidently, “Vomiting and nose bleeding are expected side effects from the injections. I’m certain I’ve warned you both in regards to these complications. The reaction wasn’t unusual and isn’t of itself any cause for alarm.”
I don’t have anything else to say. I realize fully that the professor must know what he’s talking about. Yet I can’t help but be worried for Kitty. And I can’t know whether I’m overreacting or not.
“All right then,” I say finally. “Where is she? I want to see her.”
I move toward the examination room, but Holtzmann quickly steps in front of me, blocking my path.
“Kitty is under heavy sedation at the moment,” he informs me. “She needs time to recover. You may visit her later.”
“What the heck?” I ask. “What’s going on, Holtzmann? Why can’t I see her now?”
Marcus stands a few feet away, watching me warily. No doubt he’ll try to restrain me again, should I disobey Holtzmann’s instructions.
“You’ll be allowed a visit as soon as practical,” Holtzmann assures me. “But prior to doing so, it’s necessary to have a few simple tests run on you.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
Holtzmann ignores my question, insisting on performing tests on me. I give up. It’s simply a waste of time to argue with this crazy scientist. He won’t tell me anything unless I do whatever it is he requires.
We proceed into an examination room, where doctors take my temperature, blood pressure and weight. They insert a needle into my vein to get a blood sample.
“Rex, I have to inform you of a developing situation,” Holtzmann says after the medics leave. I sense he’s more anxious than normal, and his expression is dire.
“Just spit it out for God’s sake,” I demand, beginning to panic. “What’s wrong with Kitty?”
I have a gut feeling he’s about to tell me something horrible.
“Kitty’s health isn’t what I’m concerned about,” Holtzmann says. “It’s your condition that has me alarmed. According to the test results, your condition is much more serious than hers.”
“I’m not the one who just became very sick,” I remind him. “I’m perfectly fine, Holtzmann.”
He questions whether I still have symptoms of a lingering cold.
“What does that have to do with anything?” I ask, still confused.
The professor patiently explains that Kitty’s immune system is still resisting, rejecting the invading chemicals on a cellular level. Her body was simply trying to cleanse itself as she was vomiting. On the flip side, my immune system has almost completely shut down. Therefore I don’t suffer similar side effects. And the larger problem is that the slightest infection could now kill me.
“That sounds like AIDS,” I state after a long pause.
Holtzmann assures me that it’s only temporary condition and my immune system will begin recovering as soon as I stop taking the drug.
“As I’ve said professor, I don’t really feel sick,” I persist.
“Your blood pressure is dangerously low,” Holtzmann comments. “And you have lost nearly ten pounds.”
“Kitty has lost more weight,” I say.
“Only three pounds,” he answers, staring into some papers.
“Three pounds for her is like thirty for me!” I counter.
“Not quite,” the professor argues.
He informs me that it will be necessary for Kitty and I to relocate into the hospital. We’ll have to continue the experiment under 24 hour medical supervision.
“We’re not a couple of lab mice professor,” I interrupt. “No more experiments. We’re out.”
“Rex, the future of the entire human race may well depend on the successful completion of this project,” Holtzmann says. “I’m certain you’re aware that it’s the only way to stop Guardian’s genocide. As long as he’s alive, there can’t be any lasting trust or peace between mind breakers and ordinary humans. The war will therefore continue until both species are extinct.”
“I don’t much care about Guardian or this war,” I answer. “Kitty is more important to me than the rest of humanity combined.”
“This project is quite possibly the most important work of our generation,” Holtzmann continues. “Similar experiments have never been conducted, therefore any data we collect is precious.”
“Gosh!” I exclaim. “You remind me so much of Dr. Carrel. Kitty and I are only lab rats to you for scientific experiment, aren’t we?”
