by Marina Epley
Jessie’s voice trails off. I catch a new glint in her eye, an understanding mixed with something similar to respect. She grins.
“I’ll have Holtzmann inject me with a mega dosage of that drug,” I say.
“That much will kill you, won’t it?”
“It probably will. But hopefully I’ll have time to take care of Guardian first.”
“Sounds like a very extravagant method for committing suicide,” she comments.
“Not so much. It’s just a lethal injection.”
Jessie takes a moment to think things through.
“It may actually work,” she concludes.
“It just might,” I agree.
“Damn!” Jessie exclaims. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go find Holtzmann!”
***
Holtzmann doesn’t particularly like the plan. After all his mumbling about saving humanity and willingness to sacrifice a couple of subjects for such a noble cause, he’s suddenly grown reluctant to assist me with any further injections.
“I can’t condone your taking the full dosage at one time,” he says. “Uncontrolled risk taking is against my principles. There’s a probability that you wouldn’t survive the injection. And even if you did, I’d estimate an approximate ninety-five percent chance that your heart would fail within the following twelve hours.”
“So what?” I ask. “I only need enough time to distract Guardian. And twelve hours is more than enough.”
Jessie and I are sitting at Holtzmann’s desk inside his lab. It’s around ten in the morning. We’ve been arguing back and forth now for an hour.
“I won’t knowingly participate in your suicide,” Holtzmann answers as his eye twitches annoyingly.
“C’mon, professor,” I sigh. “Consider the probability of saving this city. Consider possibly saving all humanity. Just think about possibly stopping the war between ordinary humans and mind breakers once and for all. Remember, it was you who told me that the lives of two individuals is not too high a price to pay for the future of the entire human race. Well, you were absolutely right all along professor. And now you have only one life left to sacrifice in order to save thousands. The possible reward justifies the risk. Let’s follow our destinies and save this world.”
I smile broadly, hoping for the professor to get on board. I know well enough how obsessed he is about saving humanity and preventing an apocalypse.
“I never said that the lives of two individuals are not valuable,” Holtzmann mutters. “You either misunderstood or purposely misinterpreted my words. Every human life is precious. Additionally, considering your current mental state and the undoubtedly devastating effect of the alcohol you consumed last night…”
“Humanity is screwed if we don’t do this,” Jessie interrupts.
“She’s right,” I say. “You must realize that, professor.”
He remains silent, frowning.
“We have to do it,” I persist.
“It’s insanity!” Holtzmann exclaims.
“Maybe so. But the world in which we live is insane, so it seems reasonable enough to me to try insane methods to save it.”
“Even having successfully received a large enough dosage of the drug to acquire the ability for telekinesis, you still won’t be able to defeat Guardian,” Holtzmann argues. “As the Beta subject, you simply don’t have the required skills to effectively utilize the telekinesis. Guardian would easily overpower you. You’d be barely capable of defending yourself in a best case scenario.”
“Listen, professor,” I say firmly. “You know it’s our only chance to stop Guardian and protect the city’s residents. We’re going to do it with or without your assistance. I’ll inject the drug myself if I have to, should you refuse to assist. But considering how I know nothing about proper dosages, it’s likely I’ll just needlessly kill myself. So will you help us or not? We’re doing it either way.”
“He’s right.” Jessie grins. “Your refusal to help won’t change a thing.”
Holtzmann argues for a little while longer. But eventually he does agree to go along with the plan. Holtzmann is a true scientist after all. It’s virtually impossible for him to resist the temptation to conduct such a unique experiment.
***
Chase is much easier to persuade. He realizes that Elimination won’t be able to withstand a second attack.
“How exactly are you planning to kill him?” Chase asks. “He’s naturally a much stronger breaker than you. I can’t see how a drug would help you overcome that obstacle.”
“We’ll use his weakness against him,” I answer.
“He doesn’t have a weakness,” Chase interrupts. “He’s as powerful as they come.”
“Exactly,” I say. “And within his strength lies his biggest weakness. Guardian thinks that he’s invincible. He won’t think to be careful. He won’t believe we’d be crazy enough to attempt shooting him.”
“And what if Jessie misses?” he asks.
She rolls her eyes, annoyed.
Chase becomes silent for a spell, thinking. We all wait for the idea to sink in.
“Let me get this right,” Chase says to me. “So if even you survive the injection and Guardian doesn’t kill you, you’ll eventually die anyway. Am I correct?”
I shrug.
“How tragic,” Chase concludes.
An hour later Holtzmann, Oliver and Victor join us to discuss planning for defeating the Army of Justice and taking over the Death Camp.
Our plan is a simple one. Victor’s spies will inform us of Guardian’s precise location. They’ll also help set up a few diversions, such as starting fires inside the prison. Elimination’s troops and Oliver’s recruits will simultaneously attack the Camp, confronting the remnants of Guardian’s soldiers. Jessie and I, along with our support team, will be waiting inside an aircraft until a direct path to Guardian has been cleared. The primary objective of the support team is to get me near Guardian. I’ll lure him out into the prison yard where Jessie will gun him down from half a mile away.
***
Preparations for the mission take about twenty-four hours. I spend the afternoon in bed. I try to think of Kitty and how proud she would be, but can only imagine her lying alone in that cold, dark grave in spite of my best efforts to block those thoughts.
Marian and Rebecca knock on the door, but I don’t answer. I don’t feel like having company. Fortunately, they’re both quick to give up their attempt to see me. Nobody else bothers me for the remainder of the evening.
I have trouble sleeping during my last night. After tossing and turning in bed for over an hour, I finally doze off only to wake twenty minutes later. I’m exhausted and need sleep, yet restless at the same time. I start becoming paranoid. I begin wondering why it’s so dark inside this room. Maybe I’m not in my quarters, but in a grave? Maybe I really did die during my execution a year ago? Perhaps Drake or Emily managed to gun me down after all. Or maybe I died shielding Kitty, and it’s me instead of her, lying under that oak? The thought makes me smile.
I realize I’m losing my mind. But I can’t allow myself to go insane just yet. I have to keep it together until Jessie and I can kill Guardian. And then… then it won’t really matter whether I’m sane or not. I’ll be dead for real. Then, I can join Kitty in infinite sleep.
I lose my sense of reality, get it back, only to lose it again.
I continue pondering what’s really happened to me. When a man is actually dead but continues walking amongst the living… well, nothing good comes out of it. The world becomes unbalanced and the wrong people get hurt.
I snap out of my paranoia with the first beams of sunlight. I dress and sit on the edge of the bed, drowsy and feeling ill. A few minutes later, somebody knocks on the door.
“Injection time, hero,” I hear Jessie’s voice.
“I’m coming,” I answer.
I suddenly become aware of one more thing I need from her.
“Jess, wait!” I exclaim, opening the door.
“Come on in for a sec. I need to talk to you.”
Jessie enters the room and I shut the door.
“What now?” she asks.
“You realize why I’m doing all this, don’t you?” I wonder.
“I have an idea,” she answers. “What’s wrong? Spit it out.”
“Those five percent,” I say. “There’s still a small chance that the drug won’t kill me. So I may need your help, because I’m not sure I’d be able to do it on my own.”
Jessie looks up at me, frowning. “Are you seriously asking me to shoot you?”
“It wouldn’t be murder,” I say. “It’d be an assisted suicide.”
She becomes silent.
“C’mon,” I say. “Just one extra shot for old times sake. It’s really that simple. So, can I count on you?”
Jessie doesn’t answer.
“Please, Jess,” I plead. “Promise to finish me off in case I survive. I have nobody else to ask.”
She remains speechless.
“Please,” I repeat.
“Oh all right,” she sighs. “I promise.”
“I love you, Jess,” I say, smiling.
“Shut your mouth!” she snaps.
We leave my quarters, heading toward the main exit of the building. I have a surprisingly upbeat, delightful mood.
Rebecca meets us in the corridor.
“Rex, please don’t do this,” she begs, walking beside us. Jessie and I don’t slow. “You know what will happen. You’re going to die!”
“I’m already dead,” I say.
“Why are you doing this?” she asks. “Are you doing it to get revenge for Kitty?”
“I’m not sure,” I answer. “Maybe I’m just doing what I’ve always tried to do. I hope to make things right.”
“What about Marian?” Rebecca asks. “Did you forget about your sister? She won’t survive without you.”
“She’s survived ten years without me,” I counter. “I don’t think my death will actually upset her too much.”
“You’re so wrong! Marian loves and needs you! Jessie, please stop him. Are you really willing to let Rex kill himself?”
Jessie and I exchange glances, both smirking. Rebeca doesn’t know anything about our little agreement.
“I just want to see Guardian dead and save the city,” Jessie states. “Why should I focus on what might or might not happen to Rex? I’ve never really liked him anyway.”
Rebecca follows us all the way out to an Elimination truck. Jessie and I hop inside, and Marcus drives off. Twenty minutes later, I’m sitting in a recliner, watching the deadly needle being inserted into my vein.
The mega dosage of the drug doesn’t go down smoothly. There’s a lot of vomiting, dizziness and weakness afterward. As soon as I’m stable enough to speak, Holtzmann explains that my symptoms should disappear within the next twelve hours. Then the drug will kick in, and I should temporarily acquire the abilities of a level five breaker. The effect will last for about an hour before my heart fails.
He hands me over a syringe with a needle, filled with a colorless liquid.
“Antidote,” Holtzmann says. “It’s supposed to be injected intravenously. But I wouldn’t expect you to be able to perform an intravenous injection without prior experience. So you should simply insert the needle into your thigh and inject the antidote as soon as Guardian is terminated. It’ll increase your odds for survival by up to ten percent.”
“Thanks professor,” I say, putting the syringe inside my pocket. I’ll toss it later.
Marcus transports Jessie and I back to headquarters. I spend five torturous hours inside my room, making trips to the bathroom for vomiting every thirty minutes. My pending death seems more and more appealing after each trip.
Jessie stays with me, helping me deal with my increasing sickness. When it’s time to leave for the mission, she helps me walk to the aircraft. She manages to support most of my weight, although I’m a little too heavy for her. We don’t exchange words, but I guess words aren’t necessary. Jessie and I have always been able to understand each other well enough without the necessity of speaking. And I suddenly realize how similar the two of us are. We’ve both lost everything, everybody we loved and cared about. And nothing is left for us in this world. We’re both hardened, revenge-driven and violent people. We’ve lost the ability to love, now only being capable of hating and killing.
Marian is waiting for me at the aircraft.
“Please don’t leave me again!” she cries, throwing her arms around my neck. “Please, Alex! Stay with me!”
I push Marian away. Why should I care about this girl? She’s more of a stranger to me now than a sister.
“You’ll be all right,” I say coldly, proceeding toward the opened hatch.
“I love you, Alex!” Marian sobs. “Please don’t leave!”
I don’t bother looking back.
Jessie and I along with our support team take seats inside the aircraft. A few minutes later we leave for our final mission. I now have only seven or eight hours before I die.
Chapter 30
The aircraft lands a mile away from the Death Camp. The team remains inside, while Elimination troops and Oliver’s recruits confront Guardian’s soldiers. They attacked the Camp a few hours ago, and it doesn’t take much imagination to envision the ferocious battle raging not far away.
Everything will be over by tonight, I think silently. I just have to wait five more hours and then I can join Kitty.
I don’t mind dying. There’s not too much left to live for. And when a guy is as far gone as I am, there’s just no sense in keeping him around.
Symptoms from the injection increase gradually. My head spins. I’m still nauseated. I take several deep breaths to steady myself. I feel like I’m already dying. And while it’s true the drug is killing me, it also simultaneously rewires my brain. It builds new connections as it destroys the old ones, eventually turning me into a level five breaker. It seems as if I’ve stopped being human altogether, transforming into the product of some deranged scientific experiment. I’m becoming a strange and dangerous creation, one that should never exist.
I check my watch. Four hours to go. I only have to hold on a little longer.
In spite of my best efforts, I begin drifting in and out of consciousness for the rest of my wait. Stuck in some kind of limbo, being neither fully alive nor completely dead. The ill effects finally begin to lessen and my nausea recedes. I realize that the effects of the drug must be reaching its high. It means the transformation of my mind is almost complete.
Kitty. I’ll be seeing you soon. This is the one thought that keeps me going.
I don’t have any regrets. I’m done with this world. It seems I’ve always been walking on the edge of a cliff, afraid to stumble. And now that I’m finally falling, there’s nothing more to be afraid of. It’s actually relieving in a morbid sort of way.
“It’s go time,” Chase finally says, after making contact with Oliver over the radio.
Our group exits the aircraft under the cover of darkness, hiking toward the Death Camp. We have fifteen officers, including Chase and Marcus. Jessie helps me walk, supporting part of my weight. The glare of flames illuminate the night sky. I can now hear the gunfire and explosions of the pitched battle ahead. I distract myself, remembering Kitty. I don’t want to think of what we’re about to witness. I wouldn’t want to guess how many people have already died tonight.
Approaching the Camp, our team splits off into two groups. The first group will be tasked with protecting me while the second will assist Jessie. She’s to take a position on the rooftop of one of the prison blocks approximately a half mile away from Guardian’s bunker. I’m confident Jessie will be able to make such a distant shot.
Before separating upon entering the prison yard, Jessie and I stop for a few moments. I guess it’s the last time we’ll see each other.
“Don’t forget your promise,” I remind her.
“I remember,” Jessie an
swers.
“Well, goodbye then,” I say. “And thank you for everything.”
Jessie nods, avoiding looking directly into my eyes.
“Rex,” she says. “I guess you’re all right after all.”
I smile. It’s the first compliment I’ve ever received from her.
We shake hands.
My group enters the prison yard. Marcus helps me along. The other officers move to encircle us to lower the risk of my getting shot. I see signs of death all around, sights I’ve seen many times before, images I don’t want to witness again. I lower my head, concentrating on thoughts of Kitty. I try to block out rifle fire and cries from the fallen.
We have to step over corpses stretched out over the ground. We take cover as we go until we have to jog between prison buildings. There’s a sudden burst of gunfire. Somebody gets shot in the head. Before the circle can close back around me, I take a couple of stray bullets in my vest. I’m not sure who’s still alive on this team or who is already lost.
My mind suddenly clears. I find myself standing before a bunker door. It must be locked. Marcus and Chase with a couple other officers are right behind me. They’re firing steadily into some approaching soldiers in camo. I understand we’re outnumbered and boxed in.
Time seems to slow down. I feel relaxed and calm. I turn to face our attackers. I suddenly realize that I can feel their heartbeats. We’re somehow connected. I look around and understand how everything in this world seems to be connected. Everything is indivisible and we all affect one another. And I suppose by concentrating hard enough, I can control any object or person.
I guess I’m now officially a level five breaker.
I finally know what it’s like to be Guardian. It’s almost scary to possess such power. Taking lives becomes so easy. There’s nobody to stop you. You can submit or destroy anybody. And I guess there wasn’t much choice left for a man like that, besides becoming what he became.
But I’m not Guardian. I need the ability for telekinesis strictly for killing him.
So I turn to face our attackers and a moment later they all freeze in place. An invisible force rips the rifles from their hands. Their bodies simultaneously rise into the air. Then I drop them down, smashing them into the ground. It’s too easy.
