“She’s been on the run for years. She’s smart, and she’s determined,” Chas let him off the hook. “If you want to try to keep tabs on her in your downtime, you’re more than welcome to try, but aside from that, you need to shake this off, Spence. It wasn’t your fault, and there’s a nationwide manhunt on for her now that the FBI has caught her trail again, so it’s only a matter of time before she’s captured,” the PI assured him.
“Knock-knock,” Holly called from the doorway to Chas’s office.
“Yes, Holly?”
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m heading out, Mr. Beckett. Mr. Bengal, I put your messages on your desk,” she smiled and left.
“Thanks, Holly,” Spencer gave her a brief, distracted smile on her way out.
“Head home, Spence. Treat yourself to dinner, come to my house for dinner, do whatever you need to do, but let this go,” Chas advised, reaching for his jacket
“I don’t feel much like treating myself, but I get what you’re saying,” Spencer sighed and headed for his own office, where precisely one message sat in the middle of his desk blotter. Reading it, he dropped his head into his hands and stayed that way for a few minutes, until the growling of his stomach alerted him to the fact that he’d skipped all his meals thus far today.
He stopped by his favorite deli on the way home, changed into shorts and a tee shirt, and had just settled into his couch, TV remote in hand, when his doorbell rang. He hit the power button, shutting off the TV and trying to mentally gear up for the conversation that he didn’t want to have.
“Hey, I missed you!” Izzy threw her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly when he opened the door. “Did you get my message?” she asked, pulling back just a bit, her nose merely inches from his.
He gently took her by the upper arms, caressing them for a second before setting her away from him. “Yes, I got your message.” His heart was in his eyes, and hers broke when she saw it.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I panicked. I saw you with Holly, and I…”
“It’s okay,” he interrupted. “Come on in,” he led her to the couch that he’d just vacated. “Can I get you a drink?”
She shook her head mutely, watching him go to the sink and fill a glass of water for himself. When he came back, he sat down, about two feet away from her.
“There’s nothing going on with Holly. She’s our receptionist, that’s it. I have a personal policy that I never date anyone with whom I work,” he explained.
“Are we… okay?” Izzy bit her lip, her eyes filled with hope and dread.
“First,” he scooted closer, grabbed her hand and held it between both of his. “We’re always going to be okay. I’m never going to shut you out of my life, and we’ll always be friends…” he began, and her face fell.
“Oh gosh… I see where this is going,” she whispered, and the tears flowed.
“Izzy, I had one of the most ruthless and dangerous serial killers ever in my sights today. Twice. And she escaped both times. Do you know why? Because I was distracted. I knew that you had gone to New York, I tracked you down. What I didn’t know was why. You wouldn’t text or call or respond to me in any way, and it messed with my head,” he placed her hand gently on the couch between them, and clasped his own together.
“What I do is important, and sometimes it’s dangerous, and I can’t afford to be distracted,” he said carefully. “I care about you, I really do, but I can’t count on you, Iz. When you see something that hurts or confuses you, you don’t ask me about it, you don’t talk to me like my feelings count, you run. You avoid and evade, and I can’t handle that. I’m sorry, I really am, but I just don’t think that ‘together forever’ is going to happen for us.”
Izzy saw the compassion and honesty in his eyes and fell entirely apart.
“The one thing in my whole miserable life that was working out, and I screwed it up… again,” she gasped, her sobs punctuating her words.
“Izzy, your life shouldn’t be miserable. You’re incredibly talented, successful and an amazing person. You also have a great dog and a heart of gold,” he smiled tenderly. “If the only thing that you felt was working in your life was our relationship, maybe it’s time to start thinking about what you really want. If you’re not happy, make a change. You’re young and smart and the world is your oyster. Make it happen, Iz. I believe in you—maybe more than you believe in yourself.”
“If you believe in me, why can’t you believe in us?” the author dabbed at her eyes with the sleeve of her light sweater.
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you… until you believe in you, and are happy in your own skin, there can never be an us. Or a you and someone else. You gotta love your own company first, Iz. You’re a pretty terrific person, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you’ll have something precious to offer someone else,” he stood and held his hands out to her, helping her to her feet.
Once she was standing, he pulled her into a gentle, brotherly hug, and let her wet his shirt with her tears.
“This is goodbye, isn’t it?” she murmured, clinging to him for perhaps the last time.
“There are no goodbyes between friends, Izzy. I’ll always be here when you need me,” he walked her to the door and opened it.
“I need you now,” she whispered, and then she was gone.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
* * *
Missy had styled her hair differently, sweeping it over to one side to hide the damage done to her by Susannah Eckels’s teeth.
“I can’t believe you tackled a serial killer,” Echo sipped her coffee while rocking Jasmine’s chair with her foot as the child slept soundly. “You could have been killed. What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t thinking. I was just so mad. She had threatened me, and the thought of losing my life, never seeing Chas, or you, or sweet Jazzy again,” she gave the baby a tender glance. “I just couldn’t deal with that. Rational thought went out the window and I just fought as hard as I could,” Missy shrugged.
“Did you get tests done to make sure that she didn’t infect you with anything?” Echo worried.
“Yep, I’m still as healthy as a horse. Just a horse with a sore ear,” Missy chuckled.
“Thank goodness it wasn’t worse than that,” Echo shuddered, thinking about what could have been. “But she escaped… doesn’t that mean that you’re still in danger?”
“Not really. The FBI have been profiling her for years, and whenever she becomes too visible in a community, she disappears.”
“But what if she comes back… like maybe years from now?”
“I’ll worry about that then,” Missy’s response was pragmatic. “In the meantime, Spencer will be working around here for a while, until I can get another person hired. He’ll bring his computer and sit at one of the bistro tables when he’s not frosting or delivering, and work on cold cases and tracking Susannah. Apparently he has a buddy at the FBI, and he’ll be sort of working with him on keeping her in their sights.”
“I’m so glad he’ll be here with you.”
“Me too. He was pretty upset when she got away from him. I hope he isn’t working here out of some strange sense of guilt,” Missy mused.
“Well, either way, it solves your problem for the time being. Has anyone heard about how Tim and Fiona are doing?”
“I haven’t heard a thing. That poor girl must’ve been scared nearly to death,” Missy shook her head. “And it must’ve been terrible for Tim to realize that the person wreaking havoc on this community was his wife.”
“He didn’t seem like the marrying kind,” Echo commented, biting into a red, white, and blue cupcake.
“If you found out that your spouse was a serial killer, you might not seem like the marrying kind either,” Missy pointed out.
Echo raised her cup in agreement. “Oh hey, on a lighter note, I’m interviewing nannies this next week so that I can get back to work at least a few hours a day. If you agree to let me do t
he interviews here, you can help me check out the prospective nannies. I’d love your opinion.”
“Oh, of course! It’ll be fun,” Missy grinned.
“Are you okay after all of this madness?” Echo asked, concerned.
“Yes, I’m okay. Better than okay. I’d lost sight of what was important for a bit, but being attacked by a serial killer certainly brought my world and priorities back into sharp focus.”
“Good,” Echo reached across the table and squeezed her friend’s hand. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”
Missy grinned. “Fortunately, you’ll never have to know.”
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