by Brynn Kelly
“If only that worked. But then, if it did, I wouldn’t be here right now with...” He glanced up, then quickly back down, like he had a guilty conscience.
Here with...her?
No. He couldn’t mean that, not in the way it sounded.
“But every year it’s harder to bring him back,” he continued. “He’s fading.”
“A psychologist would probably say that’s natural, healthy.”
“Would that psychologist also say you’re hiding down here from what happened with your folks?”
“Mate, I don’t need a psychologist to tell me that’s what I’m doing. But I’m happy enough. Down here I’m less my criminal parents’ daughter and more my koro’s mokopuna—his grandchild. And most of my clients are tourists who have no idea of my history and couldn’t care less.” Hang on—when did the attention land back on her? “So...your parents are still in Texas?”
“Yep.”
“Let me guess—they’re not so keen on their surviving son running off to fight someone else’s wars?”
“See now, you’re the psychic one.” He stroked her calf—checking for more damage. She resisted the urge to shiver. Now that the pain had subsided, she was buzzing with far more interesting sensations. “That’s as good as we’re gonna get it. I’ll tape it all up.” He rummaged in the kit. “Yep, I lived the cliché and ran away to the legion.”
“And when you take leave you run even further.”
He raised his eyebrows as he tore the wrapping off a roll of tape. At some point he’d dropped the devil-may-care act. This was a guy who thought deeply, felt deeply and was man enough to share. “And the farther and longer I run, the less I want to go back. I guess one day I’ll find the point of no return and the decision will be made for me.”
“Oh God, you do have a death wish. And I’m stuck with you.”
He laughed. “Don’t worry. I have excellent luck. But I leave my fate up to fate. If I die, I die.”
“That’s supposed to make me feel better?”
“Hey, I take every precaution. I make it hard for Death, but I’m not scared of it.” He fixed an end of tape on her shin and began winding it. “Ah man, I don’t usually dump this shit on people I’ve just met—or even people I’ve known for years.”
“It’s being out here. Like you say, the real world doesn’t exist.”
He nodded, making the light nod, too. As he smoothed on the tape, he followed its path with a warm, rough hand, which sent a whole lot of inappropriate tingling up her legs. It was sexy, the way he concentrated—the way he concentrated on her.
“So you live with your koro?” he asked, his pronunciation perfect—the long vowels, the rolled R.
“Yeah.”
“Will he worry when you don’t come home tonight?”
“Nah, I stay out a lot.”
“Do you, now?” He grinned.
“Not like that! Sometimes I fly up to remote huts when no one is booked in and stay a night or two. Tane and Koro will assume I’m overnighting somewhere. Everyone around here knows not to worry if I don’t radio in for a while—the coverage can be patchy.”
“You do that—disappear?”
“I like the peace. That’s what I didn’t like about the military—you don’t get much time alone.”
“I don’t mind that. My own head is not always the nicest place to hang out. So,” he added quickly, like he’d slipped into dangerous waters, “I’m good at running and you’re good at hiding. That could come in useful.” He tossed the tape into the kit. “Done,” he said, though he kept her leg on his lap, a hand on her knee. “When will you be missed?”
“Not for a couple of days, when I don’t show for my next job.”
For her sanity, she pushed up to sitting and retrieved her leg, pretending she was inspecting it. What would it be like to have someone looking out for her, missing her? Not Tane or Koro, who had better social lives in Wairoimata than she’d had in the city, but someone all hers, whose evening would be too quiet without her. She’d had casual boyfriends who treated her like one of the guys, who hadn’t felt the need to buy her flowers or dinner. But she’d never had someone waiting for her. She rubbed her right shoulder, rolling it back.
“You been doing that for an hour. Here, let me.” Cody shuffled behind her, kneeling, and clicked off the light. Before she could react he’d pulled her hair to the side and his fingers were digging into the muscle, into just the right spot. Wow. And her reaction was not limited to her shoulder. She wanted those hands everywhere, all at once. She wanted him.
She forced herself to pull away. “It’s okay. You don’t have to—”
“I don’t want you seizing up tomorrow.”
By the time he reached “tomorrow” her objections had melted into a warm bath of bliss. He sure knew what he was doing. But what was she doing? This wasn’t real intimacy. Just... TacMed. Silence fell—awkward, on her part, like when the hairdresser launched into a head massage and she nose-dived from small talk to swooning, aware she must look like an idiot, lying back with her tongue lolling while everyone around her was bustling on, but unable to pull herself together.
Except here no one was watching. There were just his warm hands and strong fingers rubbing and sweeping and digging. And there came the belly flips again... Her breathing should have been easing but it grew ragged. At least by making a conscious effort to still it, she was diverting attention from other parts of her body that were demanding it. She inhaled. Earth, decay, the metallic scent of stone, him. Okay, that didn’t help.
His hands stilled, one on each shoulder. Then he swept them up into her hair, lifting it. He coaxed her head to one side and something warm and soft touched her neck.
His lips.
CHAPTER NINE
TIA FROZE. SO DID CODY, as if it were just as much of a shock to him. His fast, warm breath caressed her skin, the heat fanning out in concentric circles, like the spread of aftershocks following an earthquake.
He released her and cleared his throat. She quickly steadied her head before it lolled.
“I don’t know why I did that,” he said, his voice clipped and gravelly.
Her stomach went into free fall. He’d got carried away and he was regretting it.
No, Tia. She wasn’t that girl anymore, the insecure teenager who didn’t think she was worth the popular boy’s attention. Cody was an attractive man and she was a strong woman who knew her own mind, knew that right now there was nothing she’d rather do than strip him naked and screw him, and why the hell not? He couldn’t be hers forever, but he could be hers tonight.
“I don’t know why you stopped,” she said, the words shakier than they’d sounded in her head.
Silence. Stillness. While he figured out how to let her down gently? Her breath was so shallow she could well flake out. Ball’s in your court, Cowboy. Her scalp prickled—in a good way—and then his fingertips touched her temple and combed through her hair, gently twisting it aside. She let her neck fall sideways. This had better not be him letting her down gently.
A shifting noise and he leaned over and touched the tip of his tongue to her collarbone. She gasped, and he slowly circled up her neck until he grazed her earlobe.
“I can feel your pulse,” he murmured. “Hot and fast.”
“Oh.”
This was really happening. She’d wanted this to happen and now it was, way out here where the real world didn’t exist. She spun, her hair tumbling onto her shoulders, and there he was, kneeling above her, his eyes veiled by shadow, one cheekbone cut by a shaft of moonlight. She propped her knees up on either side of him, her shin tight, and he leaned in and cupped her jaw with one hand. His breath coasted over her lips. Magic.
“This is crazy,” she whispered.
He pulled back slightly. “Depends
what you compare it with.”
“True. My definition of crazy got a whole lot crazier today.”
“Definitely not where I thought my day would end.”
“I was going to do my taxes tonight. They’re overdue.”
His hand slipped from her face, making her skin tingle with cold, and he jumped into a crouch. His skull smacked on a jutting rock. He swore, rubbing it. Taxes? Really, Tia? So much for leaving the real world behind.
“It’s the stress,” she said, giving him an out, though her belly hollowed. It would be an awkward night. And no way would she be able to shake the feeling of his tongue and lips on her neck.
He sat heavily beside her, fingers smoothing his eyebrows as if he had a headache. “You’re right. The stress.”
He’d taken the out. “We should eat,” she said robotically, though food was the last thing her body wanted.
“Yeah.”
He dragged a bag over and they ate in silence—joyless freeze-dried food. Afterward he gathered the rubbish and strolled to the kayak to stash it. She cleared her throat and he looked up, as if expecting her to speak. She coughed unconvincingly. The air thickened. High in a tree, a ruru gave a breathy hoot.
“You know,” he said, “kissing you...your neck...”
She broke out in full-body goose bumps.
“It ain’t about stress, not for me,” he continued, his voice deep.
“What...what is it about?”
“Some pretty whacked circumstances planted you and me here, but I reckon if I’d met you somewhere else, some other day, we would still have ended up in this situation, where something might happen. And I’m not saying that just because you’re hot.”
Holy cow. Something might happen? And you’re hot?
“I can honestly say I’ve never met a woman like you.”
She snorted involuntarily.
“I’m serious, Tia.”
“Yeah, I get that comment a lot.” Usually from guys who wanted to play friends with benefits. You’re basically a guy with tits, one hopeful had said, in a tone of awe like it was a compliment. You know you’re not girlfriend material, right? said another as if stating the obvious—after a weekend of behaving as if she were exactly that.
“I’m not surprised,” Cody said. “You’re incredible. Smart, funny, tough—”
“—just one of the boys.”
“Uh, no, that wasn’t where I was going with that. You’re seriously the sexiest woman I ever met and I’m insanely turned on by everything about you.”
She blinked. Behind him, the stream bubbled, the river rushed.
“But if you get that a lot...” he said.
“Yeah, no, not so much.” She felt like she was suddenly breathing at altitude.
“So...if you feel you wanna...see where this ends up tonight, I’m good with that. Very good with that. But no pressure.”
Tonight. One night, which was all it could be. What was with the fear shrinking her chest? Even if he wasn’t being genuine—and she could swear he was—she couldn’t get her heart broken. He was a hot tourist she’d never see again, but he was also a real guy with raw scars, who wasn’t trying to be anyone else.
“Okay,” she squeaked.
He didn’t move. “Honestly? I was looking for a little more enthusiasm.”
She laughed nervously. The cold seeping from the ground was no match for the heat going the other way. She shifted, the fly of her shorts putting more pressure on the area that wanted the pressure. What the hell? Why not be that woman who took what she wanted? And damn, she wanted him. He was all hers, just for tonight, in this sanctuary.
He was motionless, his face in shadow. Waiting—for her. At this rate she’d catch alight, and he’d hardly touched her.
Do this, Tia. Be this woman. She pushed to her feet and stepped toward him. Her bad leg buckled and she hopped for balance, her skin tightening in panic. Suddenly he was there, his hands circling her waist. She grabbed his upper arms and righted herself. Not the sexy saunter she’d intended—but it’d landed her right where she wanted, staring up into his dark eyes.
“I’m good with it, too—us, this, tonight,” she said. Damn her wavering voice. “Very good.”
“Estupendo.”
“Indeed.”
She slowly unzipped his jacket and smoothed her palms up the hard contours of his chest, bunching his silky merino thermal. His lungs were working hard, just like hers. He wasn’t as cool as he’d been a minute ago, like this meant something to him. Temporary could still be real.
She linked her fingers behind his neck, as he slid his hands to her hips and coaxed her closer. He dropped his forehead to rest on hers, unhurried, like he was savoring the moment as much as she was. He bent lower, his stubble grazing her cheek. She closed her eyes, letting her head fall back a little. Those soft lips touched hers, released, touched again, slowly evolving from gentle probing to one long, searching kiss. Her body prickled head to toe with warmth and desire.
Like it was mutually agreed upon, he deepened the kiss the same moment she pressed into him. They explored each other until she felt like she was entering a new reality, until the give and take came as naturally as if they’d been doing this together all their adult lives. Her body cried with need but this part was delicious, too. The calm before the storm.
And boy, did she love storms.
* * *
MAN, TIA FELT like even more of a goddess than she looked. Cody shrugged off his jacket, unzipped hers and slid his palms under her sweater and thermal. He caught a breast in each hand, round and supple and heavy. She groaned into his mouth. Oh yeah, that satiny skin he’d glimpsed earlier, those big, dark nipples, tight now with desire instead of cold. She shuddered against him, wobbling on her injured leg. Time to take this horizontal.
He dropped his hands to her waist and walked her backward, releasing her lips long enough to guide her onto the thin bed. She let her knees fall apart and he eased his weight onto her, pushing his fingers into her hair and again seeking the silky paradise of her mouth. Damn, he couldn’t get enough of her—but he sure as hell was going to try.
She tugged the hem of his thermal, and he lifted away and let her pull it over his head. He hungered to feel her warm, soft skin against him. As if reading his mind, she dived for her sweater. He got there first. As he discarded her layers, her hair fell in heavy curls on her shoulders, the curves of her breasts catching the moonlight. Increíble. Magnifique. A goddess in any language.
She circled a fingertip on his chest, over his tattoo.
“I saw this earlier,” she said huskily. “Some French words, right?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s it say?”
“Je ne t’abandonnerai jamais.”
“Meaning?”
“I will never abandon you.”
“Your brother.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s over your heart.”
“A few of us got tattoos at the same time. We’d had a little too much cognac. Got all sentimental.”
And sentimentality was not what he was after tonight. He lowered his head and caught one of her nipples in his mouth. She gripped either side of his head, moaning and sinking onto the earth like she’d lost the strength to hold herself up. Which was cool because he’d found a ton more energy.
“Cody, do you have protection?”
He released her, his cock straining against his shorts like it had ears. “Somewhere. Let me find it.”
Her freckles stood out against her cheeks. Maybe later he’d lie beside her counting them, memorize every detail of her, of this. Get enough of a fix that he could return here whenever he needed to remember happiness and normality. He caught a lock of hair and rubbed it between his fingers. So soft.
“In a
minute,” he said, catching her lips and easing onto her. Yep, she felt amazing against him. Soft and strong and pliant, her fingertips pressing into his back. Not a fragile bird who might break but a real woman who smelled of shampoo and desire. He slipped his fingers into her shorts, under her panties, and slid into her slippery curls. He circled and played, as she groaned and thrust against his fingers. So sexy. He dived into her neck, kissing her silky saltiness as she got wetter and wetter under his hand, her moans ever more desperate. Her nails clawed his shoulders and she arched those beautiful breasts into him. Holy shit. This could well be heaven.
Suddenly her hand was on his cock, squeezing and stroking through his shorts.
“I want you inside me,” she said, panting. “Shall we...?”
“...move this along?”
“No, wait.” She closed her eyes. “Keep. Going.” Her mouth fell open.
“Yes, ma’am.” We have all night.
She gave a muffled cry and bucked against his fingers, clamping his cock like she was taking the impact out on him. As she crested, he slipped two fingers into her, his groans matching hers as her muscles pulsed around him. Hell.
She slumped, her hand—blessedly—releasing. “Wow.” She exhaled, her breath cool on his shoulder. “That’s been building longer than you might think,” she added, as if she felt the need to explain.
“You’d be surprised how much I identify with that. Or maybe you wouldn’t.”
“We were...talking about condoms.” That desperation in her tone—oh man.
“I’m on it,” he said, crawling to his gear, because crawling was about all he could manage. He found two in his wallet.
“So you are that kind of tourist,” she teased as he returned.
“Are you slut-shaming me because I carry protection? After you asked if I had any?”
“I thought you could only slut-shame a woman.”
“So sexist. I can totally show my respect for you by stopping right now.”
“Do you respect me?”
“Let’s see,” he said, dropping to his knees and kissing her soft belly. “You fly a chopper, you’re kickass, you’re smart... So yeah, I respect you. And did I mention you’re goddamn gorgeous?”
