by Jane Frances
It was not too long before Lisa admitted since most of her things had been carted in dribs and drabs to Cathy’s apartment anyway, why not make it official? And despite being the one to coax their baby from the nest, Cathy was still a welcome and regular visitor to the Smith home, so much so that Lisa would often wonder aloud if Cathy were indeed the real daughter and she was just some blow-in from the street.
Lisa had not shared the same relationship with Cathy’s parents. But then Cathy did not share the same sort of relationship with her folks as Lisa did with hers. Cathy was close to her brother, but apart from that, they weren’t a tight-knit family, their emotional distance no doubt exacerbated by their geographical distance. Cathy had been sent to boarding school for her final two years of high school, so since age fifteen contact with her parents had been limited to school holidays and the occasional weekend visit.
Despite this, Cathy felt an overwhelming need to introduce Lisa to her parents. She was nervous about the visit, not only because she desperately wanted them to like her “good friend”, but because she was unsure of Lisa’s reaction to finally seeing the family home.
When it happened, Cathy heard an, “Oh . . . my . . . God.” From the corner of her eye, she saw Lisa’s eyes widen as they rounded the final bend of the road leading to the rambling Georgian mansion set deep in a valley a couple of kilometers from the Albany township. “Shit Cathy, I know you said your family was quite well off, but—” Lisa trailed away, attention back out the window, head shaking in disbelief.
“This doesn’t change things between us does it?” Cathy asked hesitantly that night. It was past midnight and despite being in a separate wing to her parents, they kept their voices low. Cathy had finally told Lisa everything, including the extent of the trust she was to receive when she was twenty-one.
Lisa threw herself backward onto the bed, pulling Cathy with her. “Yes Cathy. It does. I hate you and I hate your money.”
“Hey Cathy,” Lisa whispered a short time later. She was at the bedroom door, ready to make her departure. “Do you think your folks like me?”
“Definitely.” Cathy’s mother, always of few words, had quietly appraised Lisa during the evening. Her father was more animated, although he did question the poor girl endlessly over her studies, which accounting firm was she aiming to work for once she graduated, and what were her career plans further down the track. Lisa had managed surprisingly well, even fending off the inevitable question about a man in her life with a disarming smile and an I’m too busy with my studies for that reply.
Cathy did a quick check of the hallway to make sure all was clear then kissed Lisa lightly on the lips. “I’ll see you in the morning.” She stood in the doorway until Lisa disappeared into the next bedroom. Cathy climbed into her lonely bed, wishing her parents would grasp the notion that girls are supposed to share a room on sleepovers so they can “natter” all night. She considered sneaking into Lisa’s room but decided against it, imagining Maria, the longest serving member of the household staff, shrieking and frantically crossing herself as she discovered them in bed together. Better to be safe. A couple of nights without nattering weren’t going to kill her.
Two days later there was a screech of brakes as Cathy pulled into the parking bay at their apartment. Luggage was forgotten, two car doors slammed and two bodies hurled themselves up the stairs. Cathy couldn’t remember who kicked the front door shut, but she was glad someone did. Fabric tore in the haste to remove clothing.
“Oops.” Cathy relinquished her hold on Lisa’s shirt. “Sorry.”
“You can buy me a new one tomorrow.” Lisa’s hands were everywhere, one skimming inside Cathy’s top, the other busy with the buttons on Cathy’s 501s. Her breath was ragged as she sought Cathy’s mouth with her own and said, “Now stop talking and kiss me.”
Lisa hopped around, one leg in and one leg nearly out of her jeans, determined to stay upright while she relieved Cathy of her clothes. The result saw them both crash to the ground, Lisa taking the brunt of the fall when Cathy fell on top of her. She gasped as all the air in her lungs escaped at once.
However, her winding did not prove a long-term disability. As soon as Lisa regained her breath she concentrated on taking Cathy’s away. She was highly successful. Expert fingers sought and found the center of her desire. Cathy, who despite frequent exposure, never failed to be overcome by the extent of Lisa’s ardor, clung desperately to her lover as she rose higher and higher. Tiny bursts of light exploded behind her eyelids and she cried out, no longer able to contain the bubble of pure energy that had blossomed within.
It was with this memory that Cathy drew a sharp intake of air into her lungs, her memories so vivid she had been holding her breath. She still held her pen in her hand and it was still poised over the freshly scratched out Lisa and Joel. If her latest trip down memory lane had done anything, it drove home the fact Toni must have made a mistake. The passion she and Lisa had shared was not one to be denied. No matter what had gone wrong between them further down the track, Cathy just couldn’t see Lisa transferring those same emotions to the opposite sex.
Cathy grabbed for the phone, determined to get to the bottom of this. She got to the second to last digit before again changing her mind. Now was probably not the best time to give Lisa a call. Not while erotic images still floated in her head. Goodness only knows what she’d end up saying.
Cathy flipped her diary back to the current date. The page was devoid of entries. It was a blissfully appointment-free day. Such days were rare and offered a chance to really knuckle down and get some work done. She’d been fairly steaming along until she decided to stretch her legs and ended up poring over tiling quotes in Toni’s office.
A thick sheaf of papers was halfheartedly pulled toward the work area of Cathy’s desk. She had been charged with the task of determining the viability of a new business venture for one of her clients, but somehow, analyzing the financial statements of a suburban garden center no longer held the appeal it had that morning.
The columns of figures blurred into meaningless nothings as Cathy stared blankly at the page that topped the pile. Numbers were her life. But while she got immense satisfaction from making a set of accounts balance, or even better, finding out why they didn’t, the mere thought of such an activity was enough to send most of the population catatonic. Maybe, just as Lisa told her all those years ago, she really was boring.
The first time Lisa expressed the concept was during the week leading up to their second-year exams. She bounded into the kitchen, fresh from a phone call with Rachael, a friend from class.
Rachael and Chris had received word their accommodation on Rottnest Island had finally been confirmed. It would be ten days beginning the Monday after final exams, in a three-bedroom cottage overlooking the bay at the main settlement. Two other women, names Cathy didn’t recognize, had already put dibs on one of the rooms. Did Cathy and Lisa want the other one?
Rottnest was one of Cathy’s favorite places, she and Lisa having spent a week of their midyear break there the past winter. Days were spent riding bicycles around the island, discovering secluded bays and taking long walks along windswept beaches. Nights were spent in their room at the island’s resort, doing what island nights had been invented for. Yes, Cathy loved Rottnest.
In winter.
Summer was a completely different story. The island population swelled, its proximity to the mainland making it a destination for boatloads of day-trippers. When Rachael and Co. were booked, the place would be crawling with schoolies, all seemingly intent on breaking alcohol consumption records.
“Come on Cathy, lighten up,” Lisa argued when Cathy said she’d rather not accept the offer. “We’re kind of schoolies ourselves.”
“Maybe so,” Cathy conceded. “But that doesn’t mean I want to be stuck on an island with thousands of them.”
The picture Cathy painted of crowded beaches, queues at the shops, food outlets and everywhere else on the island was als
o not enough to deter Lisa. When it became apparent this little trip was going to happen whether she liked it or not, she changed tack, suggesting they stay again at the island’s resort. Two years of boarding school had put her off communal living forever; at least at the resort they could shower and toilet to their own schedule. And they could meet up with the others during the day.
“Jeez Cathy,” Lisa’s expression conveyed her disgust. “The whole idea is to all stay at the one place.” She folded her arms and muttered, “Stop being such a bore and have a bit of fun for a change.”
Hurt, but determined not to show it, Cathy faced off against Lisa across the kitchen bench. “And just what do you mean by that remark?”
Despite her best efforts, Cathy’s eyes brimmed and Lisa noticed. She rounded the bench and hugged Cathy from behind. Her tone was also softer. “I’m sorry honey. I didn’t mean that. It’s just I’d like to do the whole end of exam party thing. I did miss out on it at school you know.”
Mollified—Cathy often forgot Lisa’s school days had been a stark contrast to her own—she nodded and said, “Better ring Rachael and tell her to keep a room for us.”
Despite her reservations, Cathy really did enjoy the trip. They did all the beachy things—swimming, snorkeling and sunbathing. All hired bikes (apart from official island vehicles, bicycles were the only form of transport on the island) and Lisa and Cathy showed off some of the island treasures discovered on their previous trip. At night they avoided the teenage hot spots, instead spending evenings on the veranda of their accommodation, drinking cheap cask wine, playing cards and munching on mainly barbecue fare as no one wanted to heat up the already hot little cottage by using the oven.
Not glad their little holiday was over, but happy to be home, Cathy hefted her luggage across the threshold. She plopped onto the lounge, fanning her face with her hands. “Shit it’s hot.”
Ten minutes later Cathy was much more comfortable. Lisa had turned on the television and the air conditioning and presented her with a tall glass of ice water.
“Thank you honey.” Cathy accepted the glass and patted the seat next to her. Lisa didn’t sit, but lay with her head in Cathy’s lap, legs dangling over the arm of the couch. Cathy absently stroked Lisa’s hair, half watching the television as she sipped from her glass.
The fuzzy feeling of domestic harmony that enfolded Cathy quickly disintegrated. The telephone hollered for attention. Lisa was soon on her feet and across the room.
Annoyed but curious, Cathy mouthed, “Who is it?”
Lisa put her hand over the mouthpiece. “Jack.”
Cathy raised her eyebrows in surprise. Jack, short for Jacqueline, had been one of their little party on the island. They’d only been home for five seconds—why would she be ringing already? From Lisa’s half of the conversation, it was apparently to ask them out. Cathy shook her head and mouthed a firm, “No.”
Lisa scowled at Cathy but talked into the phone, “I’ll call you back in five.” The receiver clicked as it was placed quite firmly back onto its cradle. Hands on hips and still scowling Lisa demanded, “Why not?”
Cathy couldn’t believe she had to explain it. They’d just spent ten days with these people. Didn’t Lisa want to spend a bit of time alone?
Apparently not.
Both firmly standing their ground, they launched headlong into their first full-blown argument. Cathy stormed down the hallway, slammed the bedroom door, and promptly burst into tears.
An unknown amount of time passed before the door handle turned. Lisa entered, looking suitably contrite. Cathy was lying on the bed and turned to face the other way, but Lisa caught her shoulders and tugged her back around.
“What are you still doing here?” Cathy asked sarcastically. “I thought you were going out.”
“No.” Lisa grabbed a tissue from the box on the bedside table. She dabbed just below Cathy’s eyes, trying to catch the fresh tears before they fell. “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.”
“Okay.” Cathy didn’t feel things were very okay at all. She took the tissue from Lisa’s hands and blew her nose, and studied Lisa’s expression. There was a definite air that something was being left unsaid. Cathy pulled herself into a sitting position, grabbed another bunch of tissues and clutched them tightly. “Talk to me.”
Finally she coaxed the truth from Lisa. It brought on a new wave of tears.
“But I thought you liked spending time with me,” Cathy said.
“I do.” Lisa enfolded Cathy’s hands in hers. “You’re my favorite person in the world to spend time with, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend time with other people.”
“But we do.” Cathy protested. She thought they had a good social life. They went out at least once a week with friends to either the movies or a restaurant or the University tavern. On occasions they hit the nightclub district to go to the gay and lesbian bars and clubs. Not to mention the video and pizza nights held at their apartment.
“I know we do, but we need to do things separately too.”
Cathy didn’t sleep well that night. She tossed and turned as she mulled over Lisa’s revelation. Her ego was bruised. It hurt to be told she wasn’t the sun, moon and stars to her partner. But she knew Lisa was right—no one person could be everything to someone else. Come morning she felt brighter.
She greeted Lisa with a coffee in bed. “So what are you getting up to today?”
“Well,” Lisa accepted the mug and blew away the steam. “We still haven’t unpacked, and the salt from the parking at the ferry dock will rust out my car if it isn’t washed. Plus we need to get some fresh food into the fridge.”
“Sounds like you’re going to have a busy day then.” Cathy ruffled Lisa’s hair as she stood. “I’m going to have a shower then I’m going to see if Rachael wants to go shopping.” She smiled sweetly and said, “For clothes.”
Cathy suppressed her laugh until she was under the shower. The look on Lisa’s face had been priceless.
She did spend the day shopping with Rachael. And she modeled her new outfit for Lisa, who then helped her out of it and demonstrated how much she missed Cathy during the day. Cathy fell asleep thinking this independence caper wasn’t half bad.
For a short while it was decidedly good. Until Jack and Evelyn began playing a much larger role in their lives. Cathy had liked the couple when she met them at Rottnest. Not students, Evelyn worked as a “paper shuffler” for the Department of Housing. Jack also “worked for the government,” but in her case it was a polite way of saying she was unemployed. They were slightly older than the rest of their group, twenty-two to their nineteen years. They were also committed nightclubbers.
In retrospect, Cathy wondered how they survived the Rottnest expedition. Ten whole days without their beloved nightspots. How did they manage?
The “come out with us” phone call on their return from the island was just the first of many. The next one came less than a week later and the following only two days after that. Both times Cathy went along, and she enjoyed herself up to a point. Yes, the music was good and yes it was great to go to gay venues and kiss and cuddle in public without suffering the stares of the world, but wasn’t three times in one week taking the exercise a bit far?
“Come out,” Lisa implored for what felt like the fiftieth time.
“No.” Cathy stamped her foot in frustration. “How many times do I have to tell you—I don’t want to go out again.”
“I’ll just go without you then.”
“Fine! Go!” Cathy threw herself onto the couch and stared at the program they had been watching before the phone rang.
Lisa stalked defiantly to the bedroom. When she re-emerged she was dressed for the club. She stood in front of the television. “I’m going now.”
“Fine.” Cathy refused to look at her, keeping her eyes firmly on the portion of screen she could make out between Lisa’s legs. She sensed Lisa’s hesitation, both before she moved out of Cathy’s way and once she reached
the front door.
“I’m going now,” she repeated.
“Good.”
The front door opened and closed. Lisa reappeared in the lounge room.
Cathy finally looked up at her. “I thought you were going out.”
“It won’t be the same without you.” Lisa sat heavily at the very end of the couch. “I think I’ll stay home.”
Cathy instinctively knew not to treat this as a victory. Sure enough, less than a week later they were treading the same ground. Only this time Lisa did make it past the front door. It was nearly three a.m. when Lisa finally slid under the bedcovers.
“I missed you.”
Cathy slapped Lisa’s hands away. “Piss off. I’m not talking to you right now.”
Indeed Cathy managed to maintain her anger for the rest of the night and most of the next day. Not that Lisa noticed. She spent the best part of the day in bed nursing a hangover. When she did finally emerge from the bedroom, she had the dejected air of a naughty child who knew she was about to get punished.
But Cathy had moved beyond the desire to wring Lisa’s neck. All she wanted was to get past this. It was making her miserable. She told Lisa as much.
“I really do love you.” Lisa clasped Cathy’s hands. “And I’m sorry for hurting you. I really didn’t mean it.”
Cathy searched Lisa’s eyes for some sign of insincerity, but found none. “I love you, too.”
The next day they discussed their plans for Christmas, which was only two weeks away. By the beginning of February, a week before classes were due to start for their final year, Lisa was gone.
Initially Cathy thought it was just another of their arguments, that Lisa would stew for a while and return home as normal. For that had become their way of late. Life was a rollercoaster of fights and making up, arguments and apologies.
To her mind, Cathy had tried everything she could think of to work through the problems they were having. Yelling was ineffectual, the silent treatment even more so. She sat Lisa down on numerous occasions to try to get her to talk, to find the real root of the obvious deep discontent she was feeling, and why she had this sudden and acute fascination with the nightlife. But the reasons she was given did not seem to hold water. There had to be more than just an ongoing need to live it up with her newly acquired club chums.
