“That means I’d have to land the job.”
Sofia reached over and patted Aidan’s arm. “Have some faith. You’re LA’s most eligible bachelor.”
“Says who?”
“You do. All the time.”
Aidan answered with a raised middle finger. Sofia did her best not to laugh. Aidan was funny when he was mad and, although she didn’t like to admit it, kind of cute too.
The closer they got to the beauty salon, the more nervous Aidan got. Thankfully, they were less than two minutes away. Unless Aidan bailed out of the car at a stop light, Sofia had him just where she needed him.
Maybe he was just agitated because they were in the Valley, as the San Fernando Valley was known to LA natives. Then again, he didn’t live on the west side, so it probably wasn’t that.
“So where is this place exactly?” he asked.
“Just down here, off Moorpark Road.”
Aidan swallowed, hard.
“I promise, it’ll be fine,” said Sofia, sounding like her mom did when she’d had to take her and Emily to the doctor’s office for a shot.
“Look, why don’t you just give me a list of the stuff you think I should do and I’ll go find a place to get it done?”
“But we’ve driven all this way already. The appointment’s booked.”
“Yeah, I know, and I really appreciate it, but I’d like to do this on my own.”
Aidan must have been on the edge if he was actually thanking her. She wasn’t going to fall for it, though.
“And you can. It’s not like I’m going to be in there with you.”
He suddenly brightened. “You’re not?”
“No. What kind of a weirdo do you think I am?” She caught the look on his face as he raised his eyebrows. “Don’t answer that. Anyway, as soon as I’ve dropped you off I’m going to make some calls.”
“Okay, fine.”
Jeez, that was easier than she’d thought it would be. She turned into the parking lot, and pulled into a space outside the salon entrance.
Aidan started to get out. Now, all of a sudden, he seemed to be in a rush. It made her suspicious. She switched off the Tesla and started to get out.
“Where are you going? I thought you were dropping me off?” Aidan sounded panicked again.
“I am. Inside.”
“Can’t you just drop me here? I can walk in there by myself.”
She grabbed her bag, and closed the driver’s door. “Why are you being so weird?”
“I’m not. I just don’t need someone walking in with me like I’m at kindergarten or something.”
“What’s the big deal?”
“There’s no big deal. It’s just that I’m perfectly capable of going in myself.”
Sofia started towards the salon door. Aidan stood where he was.
“Come on, there’s nothing to be nervous about. I promise.”
“I’m not nervous.”
“You’re sure acting like it.”
“Go make your calls.”
“As soon as I have you checked in,” said Sofia, opening the front door.
An elderly Korean lady was on the other side of the door. Her face lit up with a beaming smile. Sofia recognized her from the salon website as the owner.
“Ah, Mr. Aidan,” the little old lady called. “How lovely to see you again.”
Aidan had the look of a man who wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. With Los Angeles sitting on the San Andreas fault that might happen one day. Unfortunately for Aidan it wasn’t going to be today.
“Mr. Aidan?” Sofia grinned.
The little old lady kept smiling. “This your girlfriend, Mr. Aidan? She’s very nice. Very pretty.”
Whoever this lady was, Sofia liked her. And, she obviously knew Aidan. Suddenly Aidan’s growing nerves on the way made sense. Gray was obviously right about this being the place for guys who wanted a little manscaping on the down-low. Aidan was a regular customer.
The little old lady bustled past Sofia, took Aidan’s arm and steered him into the salon. He kept his head down, refusing to make eye contact with Sofia.
“Just the usual waxing?” enquired the little old lady. “Back, sack and crack, easy on the sack?”
Whoa! That was a little too much information! And why would you go easy on the sack? She thought about that for a second. Okay, maybe there was a reason.
Regardless, she decided that, in this case, some questions were better left unasked.
She followed Aidan and the salon owner inside. Aidan leaned over and whispered to Sofia, “I could have done this myself.”
“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were a regular.”
“I’m not a regular,” Aidan protested, a little too stridently to make it convincing.
“Then how come she knows your name, and your beauty routine?”
“Don’t call it that.”
“Call it what?”
“A beauty routine.”
“Beauty routine! Beauty routine! Beauty routine!” said Sofia.
“You are so childish. And, for your information, Heng remembers everyone. Even if you only come in once or twice.”
“That so?” said Sofia. “Miss Heng, how often does Aidan come by for his beauty routine?”
Aidan stared daggers at Sofia.
“Every month. Like clockwork,” said the salon owner. “He’s a good customer.”
“Once or twice, huh?” Sofia said to Aidan.
“So, Mr. Aidan, this your new girlfriend or what?”
“No, she’s not my girlfriend. I’m just unfortunate enough to work with her. Hey, do you mind if I go through?” Aidan asked, motioning toward the door behind which the waxing and other treatments took place.
“Go right ahead. I’ll be there in a minute,” said the salon owner.
Aidan took off, clearly desperate to escape Sofia’s teasing. Maybe she had overdone it. There weren’t many men who’d be in a rush to get their ass waxed.
Sofia walked over to the small waiting area, sat and picked up a magazine. As the salon owner was about to join Aidan, Sofia called her over. “He’s kind of shy about us dating,” she said.
“I knew it,” said the salon owner, delighted to have her suspicions confirmed.
“Can I ask you to do something for me? If you wouldn’t mind?” Sofia said, in her best sweetness-and-light voice.
“Sure.”
“The whole sack thing,” said Sofia. “Hair down there is kind of ugh.” She made a face. “Could you maybe not go quite so easy on that part?”
The salon owner gave a knowing nod, and tapped her teeth. “I know, the hair, yuck,” she said, making a flossing motion. “I want to floss, I use minty wax.”
“Right!” said Sofia, her stomach turning.
“You want me to take it all off?” Ms Heng asked, miming a ripping motion.
“That would be great.”
“Three strips, maybe four,” said the salon owner. “He has pretty big . . .”
Sofia’s hand shot up, palm facing out. “Whatever it takes. I don’t need all the details.”
“Don’t worry. I make him all smooth for you,” said the salon owner.
Sofia smiled. “You’re the best.”
28
Sofia took a seat in the waiting room. Ms Heng, the salon owner, put some music on, and disappeared through a door behind the reception desk. Presumably she was going to take care of Aidan’s back, sack and crack all by herself.
Sofia wondered if the music was playing to drown the male clients’ screams. She was fairly sure that guys were a lot wussier than ladies when it came to stuff like this. She’d always put it down to women having to face get through childbirth, which as her mom had told her and Emily repeatedly, was a pain like no other.
Digging out her cell phone, Sofia called Janet to find out if she’d heard anything else from Marcie. She didn’t pick up so Sofia left a message. She kept it cryptic enough that if, for some remote reason, Wade dropped by her mom’s
house when the message was played, he wouldn’t be able to work it out. She knew it was highly unlikely, but he’d been around when she was there so it was better to be safe than sorry.
She got up, and walked over to the reception area. She reached over to lower the volume on the iPod dock. Aidan screaming was not something she wanted to miss.
There was an appointment book laid out on the desk. Tempting. If this was the place to go when it came to male grooming there was always a chance that some of the Beef Cake Boyz availed themselves of Ms Heng’s services.
At the same time, guys came here because of the owner’s discretion so it felt a little skeezy to rifle through the appointments. Sofia asked the question she always relied upon when faced with an ethical dilemma.
WWBD? What would Brendan do?
On the one hand the appointment book was right there, sitting behind the desk in plain sight. On the other it was an invasion of someone’s privacy.
But she had some time to kill. And so far there hadn’t been so much as a whimper, never mind a cry for mercy, from behind the door. It might help the case.
She flipped through the appointment book. A few pages in she saw a name that she knew Gray used as an alias when he stayed in hotels. Movie stars never checked in under their real name. That did it for her. It wasn’t essential information she absolutely had to have, unlike some other cases, which definitely made it feel wrong.
She flipped back to where the book had been open, turned the music down another notch so it was barely audible, and walked back to her seat just in time to hear from behind the door: “What are you doing down there?”
It was Aidan’s voice. Ms Heng had clearly reached the outer limits with the hot wax. A place where no one had gone before—at least, not with a strip of hot wax.
“Relax, Mister Aidan,” Sofia heard the salon owner say. “I’ll be very gentle.”
“Yeah, but I never get the . . .”
Sofia thought about recording this. But maybe that was a step too far.
“Aaarrgghh!”
Yup, thought Sofia. That was definitely it. He had obviously butched out the back and crack, but the sack was a step too far. Thinking it over, not that Sofia dwelled too much on it unless she had to, she guessed it was a matter of elasticity. Oh, and nerve endings. Guys loved it when . . .
Yeah, maybe not the best idea to dwell on that particular topic.
“Wait!” Aidan’s voice had definitely moved up an octave. It had also taken on a pleading note Sofia hadn’t heard before.
“You can’t have a Mohican down there,” Ms Heng remonstrated. “It look weird.”
“No, don’t put that there.”
“Don’t be such a baby.”
There was another scream, this one more bloodcurdling than the last. Sofia guessed that was the second strip being torn away.
“Was this Sofia’s idea?”
It hadn’t taken him long to figure who was behind his new grooming regime. That was kind of to be expected seeing as how he was a private detective.
“Your girlfriend don’t like to floss with this stuff.”
“What? Wait, that girl out there is not my girlfriend.” Aidan was quickly shifting through the emotional gears from fear and bewilderment to rage.
“Only two more to go. I just even it up and then we’re all done. Now, lie back down.”
“Did she tell you she was my girlfriend?”
“Okay, here we go. Nice and quick.”
“Whoa!” Aidan screamed again. “Sofia, if you can hear me, you’re going to pay for this.”
Sofia got up, walked over to the door, opened it a touch, and called through, “I’ll be waiting out in the car, okay?”
She made for the door, and scooted outside into the parking lot. The first rule of personal safety was maintaining distance. Aidan and Brendan had both taught her that when she’d started at the agency.
She wasn’t sure there was a safe distance from Aidan right now, but the parking lot was a good start. She’d lock herself into the car, and see how mad he was when he appeared.
29
A half-hour later, Sofia watched Aidan step gingerly out of the salon. He was moving extremely slowly, wincing with every step. He stopped and looked around for her car. He grimaced, his eyes and lips tightening. Finally, he saw her and waved.
She lowered the driver’s window a crack.
“Can you come over here?” he called. “It hurts to walk.”
He really should have worn some looser pants. That was the first rule of going for a body wax, especially down there. Exfoliate, moisturize, and wear loose clothing.
She started up the engine, and rolled slowly to where he was standing. “Are you mad?”
“No. Why would I be mad?” he said, his voice laden with sarcasm. “I just had all the hair torn from my . . . you know.”
He might have been mad, but he looked like he was in no condition to do anything about it. Every time he moved so much as an inch, he flinched. Sofia decided to push her luck. After all, Aidan had never held back when she’d been humiliated and embarrassed. He had given no quarter. Now she’d see if he could take it as well as he could dish it out.
“From your where?”
“You know where.”
He was getting madder. It was awesome.
“Your back?”
“No.”
“Then I’m lost,” she said, using all her acting skills to feign complete innocence. “And why are you walking like that?”
“You know why. Because I just had my you-know-whats waxed.”
Sofia shook her head and shot him her best you-lost-me look. “Your whats?”
He seemed really reluctant to say the word. Maybe he’d at least partly inherited his dad’s hang-up about bad language and certain words. On one level, Sofia kind of got it. She’d never liked any of the official words for that part of the male anatomy. “Testicles” sounded ridiculous, and “scrotum” like an animal part that got ground down to make pet food.
She didn’t like using the word “sack” either. She always associated a sack with Santa Claus so that made using it to describe a guy’s junk really wrong. There was always “balls”, but she wasn’t a fan of that either. Neither, it seemed, was Aidan.
“You know,” he prompted again.
She wasn’t about to let him off the hook. Not after all the times he’d made her squirm.
She smiled sweetly. “Sorry, you’re going to have to use your words.”
“My marble pouch.”
She started giggling. She couldn’t help herself. That was a new one on her.
“Oh, that! Well, the thing is, Ms Heng kind of assumed I was your girlfriend, and I may have hinted that I wasn’t a fan of hair on a guy’s marble pouch, so I’m really sorry. Anyway, how are your marbles? Or is it more your pouch that’s a concern?”
Aidan eased himself slowly into the passenger seat, oohing and aahing. “I hate you, Salgado. I really mean it too.”
Sofia didn’t doubt it. But it would pass. She hoped. “Hey, you and your marble pouch took one for the team. I’m sure Brendan will be really proud of you.”
“Oh, no. This stays between us. All of this.”
Hmm, thought Sofia. That was not going to happen. But maybe it was best she didn’t break that news to Aidan right this second. “Sure,” she said.
Aidan glanced down at himself. “I look like one of those weird-ass sphinx cats down there.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
“But I did get us some good info from Ms Heng.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, it seems our boy Python is one of her regulars.”
“Just like you. What are the odds?” said Sofia.
“I’m not a regular,” Aidan hissed. “Not anymore.”
30
“Why are we going this way?” Aidan asked Sofia, as she powered down the 101, past the turn for Malibu Canyon Road, and kept on, heading for the Kanan Dume turn. That would take
them further north.
Like most Angelenos, Aidan was aware of what route people took to get where. Sofia had quickly noticed when she and her family had moved out here from Indiana that it was the number-one topic of conversation. Almost every meeting started with how you got there and whether you had taken the freeway, surface streets or a combination of the two. She figured that maybe it was because the weather offered only limited opportunities for small-talk seeing as how it was warm and sunny pretty much every day of the year.
“Our next appointment’s at my place,” she breezily informed him.
“What do you mean your place? What appointment? We should be going back to the office.”
She did her best to fix him with a stern gaze. “It’s not just about looking the part. You have to be able to act it too. So I’ve asked a couple of friends to give you some pointers.”
For a second she thought he was going to reach over and grab the wheel. Visions of them careening off the 101 and dying in a fiery blaze flashed in front of her eyes. Then she remembered she was driving a car that didn’t use gas and had one of the best safety ratings of any vehicle. They’d survive the crash, but it wouldn’t go easy on anyone’s marble pouch.
“Friends?”
“Yeah, Gray Cole the actor. And my other neighbor, Tex. Y’know, most people in town would kill to have Gray help them before an audition.”
That didn’t seem to soften Aidan. “Aren’t you forgetting something? I’m not some desperate wannabe actor.”
Two could play that game. “Aren’t you forgetting something? You need to land this gig if we’re going to be any help to Marcie.”
Aidan didn’t answer, which Sofia counted as winning that point. She decided to soften her approach.
“Listen, it’s going to be very informal. Don’t worry, you’re going to be fully clothed. It’s all above board. No one is even going to know that your marble pouch looks like one of those weird cats. Hey, maybe that could be like your stripper name. The Sphinx. You look tough but you’re really a pussy . . . cat.”
Aidan glared at her. “You’re really pushing your luck.”
E is for Exposed (Malibu Mystery Book 5) Page 9
