by Alla Kar
All the time. But I never do it. Not since my life was taken away from me because of it. “No, I haven’t.”
She gives me a sweet smile and pats my shoulder. “Good. Until next time.”
***
Cade is sitting in the front parking lot when I walk out of the building. I feel better since I’ve talked but not enough to say it helped. Despite my better judgment, I get into his truck.
Cade doesn’t look at me, just starts the engine and reverses out of the parking lot. Something is off about the way he is avoiding me but I don’t mention it. We ride in silence, the radio lightly playing in the background. Cade’s mumbling to himself, but I don’t ask what about.
“Last night I shouldn’t have done or said those things to you. I shouldn’t have said that today either. It was a mistake, I was drunk. I won’t let it happen again. I promise.”
Everything around me seems so far away. Did he really say that?
The dryness in my mouth keeps me from commenting back. I just keep my eyes glued outside. What does he expect me to say to him?
“Okay?” he asks after a few minutes.
I don’t answer. I watch the trees pass by in a blur of green and red. I try to derail my thoughts and forget that he’s ashamed he flirted with me. It’s way harder than it looks. Utah is pretty this time of year.
“Goddam it, Jade! Fucking say something!” Cade shouts.
Jumping, I swivel around to look at him. His cheeks are red and his jaw is clamped tight.
“What the heck do you want me to say, Cade? I’m not deaf; I heard you. I’m not your type. I don’t arouse you. You shouldn’t have tried to force it. Okay. I get it.” I recoil back into the corner, not knowing where the frick that came from.
Cade’s eyes narrow, and his mouth opens like he wants to say something but he snaps it shut before anything comes out.
We pull into the parking lot, and it couldn’t have been sooner. I’m out of the car and rounding the second floor landing before Cade starts to catch up. I listen to the rhythm of his boots pounding against each step, as I start up the last flight of stairs.
My legs can’t take me to my room faster. I’m too embarrassed to look at him right now. I swing around the railing onto the third floor, and Cade grabs my arms, pinning me against the railing. The metal rail digs into my lower back.
Cade stares down at me, eyes hooded, a snarl on his face. A heavy soap scent engulfs me and sends my nerves soaring high. The muscles in his biceps flex as he takes a step closer, placing his arms on either side of me, his large fingers wrapping around the metal next to my waist. His thumb traces a soft circle against my hip bone, moving the cloth of my shirt so he can touch my skin.
Need swarms me, but I keep it at bay, watching him watch me through those long lashes. “You think I don’t find you attractive, Jade?” he asks, his voice brushing against every possible square inch of me. His eyes trace my lips, then down to my small chest. And even though I know he likes big boobs, something about the way he studies me convinces me that he would love to take my shirt off and suck them.
“Why would you?” I whisper close to his lips.
He frowns, bringing one finger up to trace my bottom lip. Slowly he touches the sensitive skin, while his other hand grips my waist tightly with his huge palm. “You’re a tempting little ass, aren’t you?” he whispers, more to himself than to me. “Those pouty lips that you’re always gnawing on. Your smart mouth.” The hand touching my lip cups my jaw and forces me to look at him, while he watches me like a predator. “Or those reddened cheeks. The way your ass has that natural curve of your back, down to perfect cheeks,” he whispers against my skin, trailing his palm to my backside. His wide hand stretches out over my ass, pulling me all the way to him.
I gasp, all rational thought escaping my mind. Squeezing me, he growls, trailing his nose against the curve of my neck, letting the tips of his lips graze against me. Smelling me. Almost tasting me. I grip his shirt, shakily holding on for dear life. If it weren’t for the railing behind me, I would have fallen.
“Jesus Christ,” he moans into my ear, pulling me closer still. He makes a throaty laugh and takes a step back. His eyes are dark, his chest rising and falling in powerful jabs. “Go to your room, Jaden. Now.”
I don’t question him. He’s hot and bothered. There is no erasing that image. There is no getting it out of my head, and I know for a fact that I’ve been ruined.
No one will ever turn me on like him. No one will ever make my body melt with just one word. One second. One look. And even though he rides my nerves, I want him.
There is no denying how badly he wants me. A large bulge protesting against his jeans shows me everything I need to know. But at the same time, he won’t touch me more than what he already has.
Anger floods my throat, but I push it down. There is so much going on in my head but my body is craving him. It makes sense that he’s trying to stay away from me for Adam’s sake but I’m not worried about Adam. I don’t care what he approves of and what he doesn’t.
Getting mad at Cade will never work, but making him see what he’s missing will—maybe. I have to make him take that chance. Make him want me as much as I want him. Help him take down the wall my brother built to divide us. I’m going to fucking demolish it.
I turn and walk slowly up the stairs, swishing my hips as my pace increases. When I look back down, Cade is holding onto the rails, with his head hung low between his arms.
***
My brother is out getting beer. He says no college party is a party unless there’s a keg stand. I’m taking his word for it. The little black dress I’m wearing is short…way shorter than I usually wear. My legs look good in it, and it’s tight to my ass—because I know Cade likes it.
He hasn’t said anything to me since we got home. Not even as we ate the Hamburger Helper I made. I’m not sure if he is ever going to look at me again and it worries me but I have to try. I glance at my wall mirror and examine the lines of my face. I’d once felt so pretty and now all I can see are the things everyone pointed out. The things that taunted me. A knock thumps against my door, and it drives Cade from my thoughts. I start panicking. I hear the people outside; it seems like quite a few people are already here.
Will is leaning against the doorframe when I walk over, his blond hair brushed out of his dark eyes. “Well, doesn’t someone look gorgeous,” he says, bending down to kiss my cheek. His Abercrombie—or something as deliciously amazing—scent trails over me, sending goose bumps against my flesh.
Shutting the door behind him, he watches as I grab my wedges. He’s holding a beer in one hand, and a blue martini glass in the other. “This is for you,” he says, offering me the liquor. I take it, letting the fruity drink scorch my throat. “Umm,” I whisper. “What is this?”
“A hurricane. It’s pretty stout.”
I smile. “Good.” Maybe some alcohol will settle my nerves.
He smiles, raking his hand through his hair and eyeing me as I slip into my shoes. “We ready?” I ask.
He offers me his hand. “We’re definitely ready.”
Chapter Eight
Jaden
There are at least fifty people crammed into our apartment. Probably more. Will wraps his arm around my waist, guiding me toward the kitchen. My brother is standing in front of the keg, helping hold a guy upside down. They’re all shouting Chug! Chug! Chug! When Adam drops him, he stumbles against the cabinet and laughs hysterically.
“Hey! There’s my sister! My fucking sister is here!” Adam screams, running toward me and pulling me to his side. “You having fun?” he screams over the music, leaning down to my ear. The smell of alcohol on his breath hits me hard, and I push against his chest.
“Get your nasty beer breath off of me.”
Will laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulder, pushing Adam out of the way. Adam doesn’t even think twice before jumping back over to the keg.
I know he’s drunk if he’s letting Will
put his arm around me. But I don’t think about it. My second drink is starting to make my legs numb. I’d been sipping cautiously for the past thirty minutes. Cade hadn’t even left the living room since Will and I made it into the kitchen. So much for my mega plan to win Cade’s attention. I let my head rest against Will’s shoulder, not something I’d just normally do. This alcohol is working better than I thought.
A few seconds later, he leans down close to my ear. “Want to dance, sweetheart?” He gives me his best panty-dropping smile.
“Sure.”
Will leads me through the kitchen and into the living room. The table has been pushed back into a corner, leaving a large space in the middle of the floor. A portable table is in the corner, with four guys huddled around it playing cards. My eyes lock with a pair of light green ones.
Cade has a cigarette hanging from his lips. His light eyes are on Will’s hands, which happen to be on my waist, pulling my ass against his front. The music is fast, and I sway without even thinking about it. My hands rise over my head, and I push back against Will, who wraps his arms tighter around me.
I feel Will’s hardness pressing against me, but I barely care with the hard eyes burning into the side of my head. A couple bumps into me, sending us turning and laughing. When Will wraps his hand around my upper thigh, I freeze. His fingers trail up the hem of my dress and caress softly.
Slowly, I get the nerve to look up. Cade’s eyes are fixed on Will’s hand as Will grinds against me. Cade’s lips tighten on his cigarette and a card crumples in his hand. One of the other players nudges his ribs, and Cade looks back down at the deck and plays. Then his eyes are back on us, holding my gaze. Screw him. I can dance with Will if I want. He isn’t volunteering to dance with me, so what the hell is it to him?
“You’re a good dancer,” Will slurs into my ear. He’s been drinking a lot. Not that I haven’t been. I’ve already sucked down my second drink, and I’m starting to feel dizzy. “Want another drink?” A third one? Why not? The more liquid courage the better, right? Cade was staring at me, and I knew he’d been watching our every move.
Against my better judgment, I nod. “Sure. I’m going to go to the bathroom really quick.”
Will bends, leaving a lingering kiss on my cheek. Before he can try again, I dodge my way through the crowd of swaying people and shut the bathroom door behind me.
It smells like vomit in here. Of course, my bathroom would be the one used for parties since Will’s is on the other side of the apartment.
I redo my eyeliner. It’s been so long since I’ve drank. Or got dressed up. It’s nice to feel like I used to before everything. Before—
The door swings open, and I stumble backwards. I forgot to lock it but before I can scream, it slams shut behind Cade. He’s been drinking. Definitely drinking. I smell it on his breath, which is suddenly really close to my mouth.
“Jaden, Jaden, Jaden,” he whispers, taking a step forward to trap me between his wall of muscle and the cabinet. “What are you doing out there?” he asks against my neck.
It feels like a dust storm in my mouth: dry and rough. “What are you talking about?” I struggle out.
He chuckles under his breath, trailing his lips against my neck but never actually touching me. “Why are you dancing like that with Will? Your brother is going to be pissed.”
“My brother or you?” The liquid courage is definitely working.
His head hovers above my shoulder, and then his teeth graze against my skin. “Don’t you ever try to make me jealous again, Jaden. Do you understand me?”
His breath heats my skin, and he bites me again. Then his tongue slides over my skin. Holy mother—my breath catches in my throat. Bending down, he grabs my leg—the one that Will had touched—and drags me up onto the counter. He’s still leaning against his palms, but he stands straight. I’m straddling him in the bathroom, his gaze hard on mine. His other hand hasn’t uncurled from around my thigh. He squeezes, making every piece of me yearn for him.
His lips rest against my ear. “I want to hear you say it. Tell me you won’t try to make me jealous again, Jaden.” Before I can focus my thoughts he bends down between my legs and presses my knees open wider. I grip the counter’s edge. He places a soft kiss on the inside of my upper leg, then trails his tongue over the place where Will touched me.
“I don’t want Will to put his hands on you again,” he says.
“Why?”
He growls, grabbing my jaw and keeping me still. His green eyes darken, while his fingertips trail down my spine. “Don’t tempt me. My self-control isn’t nearly as strong as you think it is. And neither one of us want to make Adam mad,” he says, nipping my bottom lip. I nearly jump up and grab him. Bring him down to me, taste that mouth I’m dying to taste, but he backs away.
Wide shoulders rise and fall quickly, tension tightening his lower abs. “And put on some motherfucking clothes.”
Then he turns and leaves.
I sit on the counter, listening to someone beat their fist against the bathroom door. My underwear is damp against me, my legs weak from his touch. How dare he tell me what to do? But I didn’t dare say it. I couldn’t make my brain connect with my mouth. Everything was focused on his words. His breath. Those large hands and…his fucking mouth.
Damn it.
Staggering off the cabinet, I swing the door open. A guy is standing in front of me, a beer in one hand, the other tight at his side. “About fucking time. Shit.” He pushes me out of the way.
My drunkenness isn’t completely gone but my brain is able to focus. I see my brother lifting a wasted girl up on the keg, chanting with the rest of the small group. A group of guys are watching two girls make out next to the dining room entrance. Will is sitting in the living room talking with a group of guys, my cup resting against his knee.
I debate going to sit by him, but realize I know no one else and finally cave. Sliding beside him, I take the cup and down half of it, squeezing my eyes shut as the liquid burns down my throat.
“You okay?” Will asks.
I give him a small smile. “Yep.”
We sit and talk to a few guys for a long while. The soberness is vanishing again. I’m getting drunker and drunker, my body weightless against the couch. Will’s arm is around my shoulders now, and he’s whispering in my ear. I don’t recoil because it feels nice to be touched. To be talked to.
“Let me get you to your room,” Will says after a while. I don’t object because I can barely see to take a step in front of me. The music is still playing, but it’s lower than before. Will’s hands find me and halfway carry me to my room.
Leaning me against his shoulder, he opens my door and carries me inside. He stops after a few steps. He’s talking to someone, but I can’t tell who it is. All I can see is his strong jaw. I reach up and touch it, but then I’m being transferred to someone else’s arms. Stronger arms. Wider. Bigger.
Cade.
I begin to swing my arms. He is not to touch me, not after the bathroom incident. He’s not going to hold me after he left me high and dry. “Get me back to Will,” I slur out.
I hear a laugh and then I’m being tucked underneath my covers. Before I can think, I’m drowning in a sea of black.
Chapter Nine
Cade
Something feels off. I’m in a bed, but not my bed. The white sheets are bunched around my waist, and an ass is against my dick. A tight, round ass from what I can tell. Opening one eye, I see Paris and London…and a shitload of grays and whites.
Fuck. Suddenly I’m awake, sitting up, and staring down at Jaden. She’s pressed against me, one tanned leg sticking out of the covers and one arm hanging over the side of her bed.
Everything from last night swarms back. Will had gotten her drunk and was carrying her to bed. Like a fucking knight in shining armor.
But I know better.
It took some talking, but I got him to leave. Then she asked for him, and I could have thrown him out the window.
It’s almost impossible to stay away from her. Putting something so irritably sexy right in front of me, dangling her like meat in front of a starving dog. Now I’m lying in her bed…naked. I’m guessing I got hot last night. Leaning over her, I see my jeans in a pile next to her bed.
All because some douche was passed out in my bed. And I refuse to sleep with Adam or Will. I do not sleep with dudes. Ever. Period. And how could I have turned down a night on this mattress? I swear, it feels like I’m sleeping on air.
I was drunk. Yep, drunk. That’s my story, and I’m fucking sticking to it. A soft moan escapes her lips, and she turns to face me. One eye peeks open and then the other. A worried look crosses her face, and then she jumps up, falling to the floor, her feet tangled in the sheet. “Shit,” she says, before standing.
She searches herself, and then looks up at me, fisting her shirt. “Why are you in my bed? And why the hell are you naked?” She points to my hip, visible through her white sheet.
Watching her turn red, I slide to a sitting position. Her eyes widen. I don’t bother covering myself before I stand. The sheet falls from my waist. Jaden’s eyes jerk to my morning wood and then back to my face. She bites the inside of her lip. “You b-better start talking, Cade. Did we…?”
A smile tugs the corner of my mouth, and I lift an eyebrow. “No, baby,” I say, sliding my jeans on. “Because if we had, you wouldn’t be able to walk right now.”
Placing her hands on her hips, she narrows her eyes at me. “Why am I in my underwear? I don’t remember getting undressed. In fact, I don’t remember most of what happened last night.” She rubs her temples with two fingers. “I have a massive headache.”
