by Alla Kar
Jacks laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulder.
***
Jacks doesn’t send me any more notes in class. Thank God. I don’t think I could handle another Cook Off or some Dungeons and Dragons bullshit, which I’m sure Dr. Phillips is into.
He barely gives us a glance when we walk in. He seems to be scrawling something down, quickly.
“Okay, who did their homework?”
I pull out my pathetic poem and hand it to Dr. Phillips as he passes by our desks. I don’t think he really reads them, only gives us the points if we try. So, I don’t care that I wrote about Lachlan. He doesn’t know it’s about him. He doesn’t pull any out and embarrass anyone today, so I relax a little in my seat. We’re fifty minutes into class when a girl sitting a few rows ahead of me drops her head down to her desk with a loud thud.
“Damn,” Jacks says from behind me.
Dr. Phillips jumps up and presses his fingers to her pulse. “She’s breathing. Someone help me get her up. You guys are dismissed. Laney, can you stay behind for me? There is a gentleman coming for me in a bit. Tell him I’ll be right back; I had an emergency.”
I nod, even though he could have asked anyone else to stay. I have work study in ten minutes.
“Drunk or stoned?” Jacks asks.
I purse my lips. “Hungover.”
Jacks nods. “Yep, she looks like one of those. You want me to stay with you?” Jacks asks, sliding his bag over his shoulder.
“Nah, I’m fine. I’ll meet you at lunch. Hopefully, I’ll get through work study without having to beat up the football team.”
Jacks laughs, then pushes his blond hair from his face. “See you later.”
The classroom empties out quickly. I can’t blame them. I want to get the hell out of here, too. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I walk down to Dr. Phillips desk. It is cluttered with papers, pens, and an empty coffee cup.
Slob. I’m looking in his grade book when I hear the door creak open. I glance back and stop. Of course.
“What are you doing here?” I blurt out. Lachlan presses his teeth into his bottom lip and gives me a once over. The movement makes me squirm.
“I’m here to meet Dr. Phillips. He is going to give me the information about my new job.”
Job? I didn’t even think about him winning. Sliding my fingers against the desk, I glance back over at him. “Are you moving back?” The thought makes my stomach tighten. Will I see him all the time?
Lachlan keeps his gaze on mine, watching me closely, before he closes the door behind him. The click sends warmth in-between my legs. Moving around, I put the desk between us. It seems like it’s the only place I’m safe. Yet, I’m not sure it’s enough. He is wearing a dark blue shirt today, tight to his chest. I can see the deep line of his abs beneath the fabric.
He is closer now. He picks up the stapler off of Dr. Phillips’ desk and places it back down. “What if I am moving back?”
I’d melt into a puddle right now. I’d lock myself in my room forever. I’d have wet dreams every night. The list is endless. “Nothing. I was just asking.”
He chuckles, but doesn’t look up from a pile of papers on the desk. “Really.” My nerves are bouncing around inside of me. What is he looking at? A smile rises from the corner of his mouth and his green eyes drag, slowly, toward mine. “I find that hard to believe.”
Heat. It’s swarming me. What is he looking—fuck. My entire body ignites in flames. He is looking at my homework. Before I can think, I rush around the desk and snatch the paper out of his hand. “That’s private.”
He nods, turning so he can lean against the desk. “Is it true?”
“What?” I whisper, knowing exactly what he is talking about.
“What that poems says. Do you regret it? Leaving that night, luv?”
A dryness consumes my mouth, I’m unable to speak. Do I regret it? Of course. It’s the one night I wish I could take back. The one mistake I wish I had never made. But, I had. Now, I don’t deserve anyone. Not Lachlan. Not even Aiden. I deserve to be alone. I did this to myself. My one love, my one all-consuming faith, I damned to Hell. And God is punishing me.
“Yes, of course I do.”
Lachlan stares at me for a few seconds, but it feels like an hour. Standing up, he turns until I’m pressed against Dr. Phillips’ desk. My back arches, afraid to get too close to him. My body is betraying me, it wants him. All of him. On me. In me.
He is dangerously close now, his minty breath kissing my cheek. “Then prove it, luv.”
My breath catches in my throat. Oh, how bad I want him. Fingers lightly trace my side, up to my neck. His wide palm rests below my ear. “I said prove it, luv. Show me it was a mistake. Show me how we used to. Show me that you remember.”
I moan. Goddamn it, I moan. He is challenging me with his eyes; they haven’t left my lips. I want this. Just one kiss. Just one touch. Closing my eyes, I lean in until my lips are pressed against his. It’s the first time he’s let me make the move. It’s dangerously delicious. I pull back slightly, until our lips are barely touching.
He brushes my hair away from my neck, and I hear him suck in a deep breath. He groans and lowers his hands to my hips, his wide palms engulfing each bone. “Do you know what you do to me, luv?” he whispers, bringing one finger up to my navel. I’m breathing heavily. I can’t make myself stop. I suck in a larger breath when he trails it between my breasts up to my bottom lip. His eyes are on me, testing my self-control. He is definitely pushing the line. I want him so bad, I feel knots forming in my stomach. My frustration is forming in my throat.
He lifts me at my waist, until he is standing in-between my legs. He slides his hands beside me, pushing all the crap around on the desk. Jesus Christ, he is close. Too close. As if he knows I can’t take it any longer, he slides his finger against my bottom lip. Frustrated, I take his finger in my mouth.
His eyes widen, and he pulls me closer to him. I feel how hard he is against my sex. I wish there were no clothes keeping us from one another.
“Goddamn, luv,” he whispers as I suck harder. My panties are soaking wet. I feel like I have no control over myself. There is no more stopping me. I want him. Right. Fucking. Now.
Pulling his finger from my mouth, he presses his lips against mine. His kiss makes my stomach swirl. I open my mouth wider, inviting him in. His tongue touches my bottom lip, asking permission. I groan, reach up, and tangle my fingers into his hair.
“Laney,” he says. My name coming off his lips makes my grind into him, wrapping my legs around his waist. My mind is like a slideshow. I can’t turn it off. It only sees him. Our first kiss. Our first time. Everything about him.
He responds quickly, sliding his fingers up the edge of my shirt, until his palm is flat against my ribs. “I want to take all of your goddamn clothes off and take you, luv. I want to feel inside of you again. Please. Please.” His begging makes me cry out. My body is racing more than it ever has.
I’m so lost in him. Lost in the past. So lost that I don’t hear the door open. “Excuse me.”
Fuck. I’m off the desk in two seconds. Dr. Phillips is standing at the door, papers in one hand and the other tucked into his pocket. “Laney, I told you to tell the person meeting me I would be back soon, not try and seduce him on my desk.”
I just died. Yep, died of humiliation. I swear I’m holding fire in my cheeks. “I’m—I’m so sorry, Dr. Phillips. I—”
“It’s not her fault. Blame me. We…we use to date. It’s been a while. I just—I had to kiss her. I’m sorry.”
Dr. Phillips raises an eyebrow and rolls his eyes. “Get out of my classroom, Ms. Scott, before I come to my senses and make you do extra homework.”
I don’t say anything, just reach down, grab my bag, and run out of the door.
***
Jacks has his head down on the cafeteria table, laughing hysterically.
I toss three fries at his head and give him my best stern look. “This is serious, Jacks.
Stop laughing. I should have never told you, you asshole.”
Jacks pushes back his hair. “I’m sorry—I’m sorry. I’m stopping. I just…” more laughter, “…it’s so fucking funny. I mean, you read about it and hear about it, but you never think these kinds of things actually happen. You have the worst timing and luck I’ve ever heard of.”
I sigh. “Thanks.”
“Seriously, though. Were you really on his desk?”
“God, you ass.” I go to stand up, but he grabs my arm.
“I’m sorry, I’ll stop. No more. Promise.” Making sure he is serious before I sit down, I raise an eyebrow. “Promise,” he says.
I sit back down and grab my fork. “This is just all too much.”
“Do you love him?”
“Who?”
Jacks rolls his eyes. “Lachlan. Do you still love him? I know you said you deserve to be alone, for this big secret of a reason, but I don’t think anyone deserves to be alone. It’s awfully lonely.”
“You don’t understand—”
“Yeah, I know, big secret. But you didn’t answer. Do you love him?”
“I—”
“Oh, shit.” Jacks pretends to duck behind his cup. “Pretend boyfriend alert. Three o’clock.”
I turn around and watch Aiden push his way through the lunchroom crowd. He looks really determined. It makes me want to run out of the room screaming.
When he gets to me, he grabs my hand and stands up in front of everyone. “What are you doing, Aiden?”
I haven’t really spoken to him since the club. After his massive fit over Lachlan, he has kept his distance. I was actually starting to think he was done. I was too much trouble for him. Obviously not. He is leading me to the center of the cafeteria. “Aiden, tell me right now what’s going on.”
He isn’t listening. His grip is tight on my wrist. When he stops, I look around at everyone staring at us. Jesus, I just want to disappear right now.
“Listen, everyone. Are you listening?”
“Aiden, stop right now. What’s going on?” We’re busted. It’s the only logical explanation. Now, he is going to rat me out in front of the entire school.
“Shhh, Laney. Hold on,” he whispers before wrapping his arm around my waist. Oh, God. “If you guys haven’t noticed, I’ve been dating Laney for the past week. She is the only girl that’s made me feel this…crazy.” A few people let out wolf whistles and I swear I’m slowing walking into the light. Everyone is going to know. I mentally groan.
Jacks is staring at me. He is laughing hysterically behind his palm. Bastard. I flip him off and screw my eyes shut. I’m sure I had a nightmare about this once.
“But, this is my girlfriend. And I’m not afraid to say that I’m whipped.”
The entire cafeteria starts clapping. Yep, like we’re in a damn romantic comedy. It’s definitely comical. Aiden kisses my cheek and tugs me closer to him.
And I thought my life couldn’t get any more complicated.
***
“What in the hell was that?”
Aiden stops with his hand on the cafeteria door handle. “What do you mean? I just told everyone you’re my girlfriend. I thought you’d be happy?”
Happy? Happily humiliated? What is this guy smoking? I sigh and rub the bridge of my nose. “Well, a little bit of a warning would have been nice.”
Aiden swallows, then trails a finger down the length of my face. “I’m sorry. I thought you would like it.”
He looks like a lost puppy dog. When did he start acting so…clingy? Jeez. Play your part, Laney. Not only is your reputation on the line but Heather’s relationship. Bethany will sing like a canary. Smiling, I reach up on my toes and lightly kiss his cheek. “I am happy. I just—it took me off-guard. That’s all.”
Aiden grins, then wraps his arms around my waist. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to let everyone know that I really like you. Sure, it was high school-ish. But, sometimes it’s better that way. To live like we’re in high school. Fall in love like we’re fifteen again, and put everything into it.”
Or not.
“Right,” I whisper. “Well, I’ve got to go, but I’ll talk to you later.”
“Wait,” Aiden says. “Are you still going to go to the wedding with me? It’s Friday.”
Damn it. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
Aiden’s brows furrow. “Why?”
“Did you not see me get stuck in the window? I would rather not replay that in my mind.”
Aiden laughs. “I think it was sexy. Your ass hanging out.” He smiles and runs a finger down my neck. “If that Aussie guy hadn’t been staring at your ass, it would have made it so much better.”
I avoid eye contact. He had been staring at my ass? I know my cheeks have to be red. “So, you won’t be mad if I don’t go?”
He frowns. “I don’t want to go alone. I tell you what…we can go and leave as soon as the wedding’s over. Please?”
Biting my lip, I try to think of a way out. Nothing. He’s got me now, I need to go. It’s what my character would do. “Okay, as long as we leave quickly afterwards.”
Aiden smiles, then leans down and presses his lips to mine. It startles me. He’s never kissed me in public like this before. Cradling my face, he presses me against the wall. I screw my eyes shut. His lips are soft, but not Lachlan soft. His hands are gentle, but not like him. Frustration erupts from my chest. I grab his shirt and squeeze.
“Jesus,” he whispers, raking his fingers down my back to cup my ass. “You feel so good, Laney.”
Tears. They’re threatening to run down my face. No, don’t. I smile into his mouth, the only thing I can think to do.
“Why don’t you come over tonight?” he whispers before biting down, gently, on my earlobe.
I suck in a deep breath. I know I should say no, because I can see the lust in his eyes. But, I think about Lachlan. The frustration of wanting him so badly I can’t breathe. It makes me see red. I want a release. I need to feel something more, to show me it doesn’t have to be him. I need something to keep me from falling hard into Lachlan again, only to be torn apart.
“Why don’t we go outside to your car?”
He groans and grabs my bottom lip with his lips. “I think that sounds like a great idea. Come on.”
Adrenaline is coursing through my body, and despite my better judgment, I let Aiden pull me toward his BMW. Thank God the windows are tinted.
The parking lot is full of cars, but everyone is in class or at lunch. I can hear my heart beat inside my head. Aiden pulls out his car keys, fumbles with the lock, and opens the back door. I feel like I’m sixteen again, climbing into the back of my date’s truck to make out before my mom starts calling me to come home.
Sliding in, Aiden shuts the door and wastes no time intertwining his fingers around the back of my neck. “God, I want you so bad, baby,” Aiden whispers, pressing his lips against my neck.
Aiden pushes his shirt over his head when I reach my hand underneath his shirt. His muscles are hard and tense beneath me. I press my eyes shut harder, a kaleidoscope of colors previewing before my closed eyes. Lachlan’s face flickers into my vision every few seconds.
Aiden’s body hovers over mine, his leg between my legs, pushing them open farther. I feel his lips on my neck, traveling down to my bra. I don’t stop him. I can’t. All I see when my eyes are closed is Lachlan. Kissing me. Holding me. Touching me. Tearing me apart.
Aiden’s fingers sliding down to my jeans zipper brings me back to reality. What in the fuck am I doing? My jeans are halfway down my legs when I grip Aiden’s arm. “Aiden—I’m…I need to stop. I’m sorry.”
Aiden widens his eyes and starts nodding like a bobblehead. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t be sorry. If you’re not ready you’re not ready.”
Really? Aiden smiles down at me, and then presses his lips against my forehead. I think I’ve fallen into the Twilight Zone. Did he really just give up that easily? It’s definitely not what I was ex
pecting.
“You’re not mad?”
Aiden furrows his brow and sits up. “Why would you think I’d be mad, Laney?”
Hmm…I don’t know. You’ve kind of got that asshole reputation going on. I shrug. “You’ve been with so many girls. I figured you’d be pissed.”
The corner of Aiden’s lips moves up and he pulls me closer to him. “I would never make you do something you don’t want to. All the girls,” he rolls his eyes, “I’ve been with have given it to me. I’d never take that without them wanting to give it.”
Damn. I wish I could rip the heavy pressure of guilt from my shoulders. A sick feeling starts to crawl up my throat, making me feel like throwing up in the back of his BMW.
I give him a weak smile and pick at my thumbnail. “Thanks. I—I probably need to get home. I…I have homework.”
Aiden brushes his hair out of his eyes and gives me the biggest smile. “Okay, I’ll take you home. Come on.”
Chapter Fifteen
Laney
“Why does it feel so good
But hurt so bad?
My mind keeps saying
Run as fast as you can.” — Olly Murs ft. Flo Rida
Slipping my feet into Heather’s death traps, I take an uneasy breath out. This week hasn’t been on my top favorite weeks of my life. First, I get caught making out with Lachlan on Dr. Phillips’ desk, then I let myself get carried away with Aiden. That is not in the plan.
Heather hums along to some One Direction song, and I wish I had that life. The life with one boy who loves me, and I love him. Not a pretend boyfriend that I have to make appearances with, and turns out to be one of the sweetest guys ever. Or an ex-boyfriend that I can’t look at without seeing my past. My mistakes. I haven’t told Heather or Bethany what happened. I can’t. Bethany came over last night and had a plan for me to put Ex-lax in his drink. I said I didn’t want to do it and pretended to get a call from my mom. I’m sure that wasn’t the end of it though.
Now I’m sitting on Heather’s bed, staring out into oblivion.
