“It’s…I don’t know,” I said.
Dr. Shepard knew about Adam—not his real identity, of course, but that there was a father who wasn’t in the picture.
“My belly,” I said, placing my hand on the big bulge. “It feels like I’ve got a bowling ball in there.
Dr. Shepard turned her attention to the bump, which was pushing the limits of what the fabric of my blouse was capable of. And it was a blouse that I’d bought for the express purpose of having room for my baby bump!
“You’re looking big, that’s for sure,” she said.
“Is it bad?” I asked, the words blurting out of my mouth.
Another warm smile.
“Not at all,” she said. “As far as I can tell from our last appointments, you’re looking all clear to have a healthy, happy baby.”
I was relieved at her words, but I knew that I wouldn’t be totally put at ease until the baby was in my arms.
“But,” she said, clasping her hands together and offering a smile. “Lucky for us today’s the day we get to take a look at the big guy. Or girl. You excited?”
I’d have been lying if I said I wasn’t. It was the day of the first ultrasound, and I was scared and excited at the same time.
“I am,” I said. “Really excited.”
“Okay then,” she said. “Then there’s no sense in not getting right to it, huh?”
“I’m ready,” I said, feeling a touch more determined and calmer than I had been.
Dr. Shepard took my vitals, making sure everything was okay with me before moving onto the main event. She summoned a technician to help with the process, and I eyed them with anticipation as they set up the ultrasound machine.
“Okay,” Dr. Shepard said. “Now let’s get this up…”
She gestured to my shirt and I knew what to do. Taking it by the hem, I rolled it up over my bump, my eyes going wide as I did.
“I think I might be going crazy,” I said. “But I swear it wasn’t this big this morning.”
Dr. Shepard let out a soft, friendly laugh before continuing with the process.
“Now,” she said, “time for the gel. It’s a little cool, so get ready.”
I nodded, letting her know that I was ready to proceed. The technician produced a small container of clear gel and, with a wooden applicator, spread it over my belly. Sure enough it was cool and sent a brief shiver through my body.
“Now,” said Dr. Shepard. “You ready to find out if you’re having a little boy or a little girl?”
The excitement had been building in me since the first mention of the ultrasound.
“I am,” I said. “So ready.”
Dr. Shepard nodded to the technician and they went to it. Her assistant removed two paddles from the machine and placed them on my belly, the screen filling up with an image of what was inside. There was the outline of my womb, and a large, moving mass inside.
My baby. Tears formed in my eyes as I took in the sight. I simply couldn’t believe it.
But before I could spend too much time savoring the feeling, an expression of concern formed on Dr. Shepard’s face.
“What is it?” I asked, my tone verging on frantic. “Is something wrong?”
“It’s…” she said. “It’s not bad. I only want to make sure.”
She asked the technician to make some adjustments to the ultrasound, the soft white noise of the machine filling otherwise silent air.
“Please,” I said. “Tell me if there’s something wrong.”
“Not something wrong,” she said, the concern vanishing and replaced with a barely restrained excitement. “Something very, very good.”
“What?” I asked. “What is it?”
“Look here,” she said, pointing to the screen. “See that?”
She pointed to a section of the mass.
“Sure,” I said. “That’s the baby. It looks huge.”
“She,” she said.
She. I was going to have a baby girl.
“And…she’s not alone.”
“What?”
I was confused.
“There,” she said. “This isn’t one big super baby you’ve got…it’s two. Two baby girls. Twins.”
“Oh… my God”
Twins.
“You’re serious?” I asked. “You’re sure?”
“I’m as sure as it gets,” she said. “Congratulations, Isla. I’m so happy for you.”
But at that moment I didn’t feel happy. I felt…lost.
I felt hopeless. I felt confused. I felt scared.
And I must not have been doing a good job at hiding it because Dr. Shepard was quickly at my side, a hand on my arm.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Everything’s looking great. Two healthy baby girls.”
That was just it. Over the course of the last few months I’d been pushed to my limit, juggling work and the pregnancy and everything else. And it had all been done with the expectation that I’d have one baby to worry about.
One baby is fine, I’d figured. One is doable.
But two!
I was happy, of course, at the idea of having another baby. But at that moment all I could think about was how overwhelmed I was, how I’d been going it alone and now I was being presented with a situation I didn’t think I would be able to handle.
It was all too much.
I began to sob softly, tears trickling down my cheeks. Dr. Shepard put her arm around me, giving me support as best she could.
For the first time since I’d learned the news, I was scared.
For the first time, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to go it alone.
Chapter 23
Adam
September
I was on the verge of losing my cool—a feeling I’d been experiencing with alarming frequency over the last few months.
But I cut myself some slack. No matter how much control I happened to have over my emotions, the email would’ve put me in a state either way.
It was from Bernard Pyke, the subject my most recent proposal for improving the conditions at the Rio plant. He’d written to let me know that the board had reviewed my work and that, regrettably, the changes I’d proposed were simply too cost-intensive to implement.
The urge to pound my fist into the desk took hold of me. I allowed myself to sit with the anger before letting it pass.
The tone of the email really got under my skin. Bernard had written it as though it had simply been some bad news that there was nothing to be down about. But I knew the truth—he’d been pushing on the Rio factory as much as I had been, but from a different direction. He wanted to shutter the plant, fire the workers, and open up a new plant somewhere cheaper.
I could only imagine how happy he’d been to send the email, the smug smile on his lips as he typed out the word “regrettably.” I was certain that his only regret was that he couldn’t be there in person to deliver the news and watch the anger flash across my face.
And Edward had been no help in the matter. I knew that it wasn’t out of indifference, however. Aside from the situation in Rio, Corliss had been having a banner year. Profits had been through the roof, and all the talk through the company over the last quarter had been of expansion. His mind had been on those matters, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he was likely silently handing over the project to me as some sort of test.
I dropped into my chair, picking up my water bottle but not taking a sip. Before I could spend too much time worrying about the matter, a chime sounded through the office.
“Mr. Forde,” spoke my secretary. “Sandy is here for you.”
“Thanks, Caroline. Send her in.”
The door opened and in walked the slender figure of Sandy, two bags in her hands.
“Afternoon!” she said, chipper as ever. “Still on for lunch?”
I confirmed as much—even though, to be honest, our lunch plans had completely slipped my mind—and she shut the door behind her. The air immediatel
y took on the scent of fast food, and if there was any question as to what she’d brought, the Quick-and-Tasty label on the bag answered it.
Sandy stepped toward my desk, the sunlight catching her engagement ring, causing it to brilliantly flash for a moment. Her fiancé, a fellow employee she’d met at a company event, had only recently proposed. I’d been beyond happy for her, but as much as I’d hated to admit it, her success at finding love reminded me of my own failure at it.
I’d been following the board’s orders, of course, staying away from employees. But it wasn’t as though I couldn’t date. I simply…hadn’t wanted to. Sure, I’d been far too busy finishing up my first year as CEO to worry about such matters, but I’d always managed to find time for women before.
But more than anything I simply hadn’t been interested. I lived in San Francisco, a city with some of the most beautiful women in the world. And there had been ample opportunities to meet some of them—more than a few had been extremely forward, making it clear that they’d likely be down for anything from some one-night fun to probably marriage.
No interest. It was strange. Back in my twenties my friends and I had made it a weekly tradition to go out on the town on Friday nights, and rarely did I ever have trouble finding someone to share my bed with if I wanted.
I wanted to chalk it up to getting older, to the slowing down that came with age. But I knew that was a flimsy excuse—I’d been even more energetic than ever at work, and my nearly daily workouts were never a struggle for me.
Was it her?
“So,” said Sandy as she opened the bags. “It’s obvious that you’ve got something on your mind. This is the part where I ask if you want to talk to me about it, or if you want to enjoy these delicious burgers in peace.”
She set the food on the desk after pulling up a chair. As occupied as my mind was, the food sure looked and smelled good.
“The usual double-bacon cheeseburger with Cajun fries for you,” she said. “And a sugar-free soda.”
“Perfect,” I said.
“There’s a reason you keep me on the payroll, remember?” she said with a smile.
Burgers weren’t my usual lunch—I preferred to eat light so that I could keep a clear head for the rest of the workday. But at that moment, as if Sandy had read my mind, I needed the comfort that only greasy meat and starchy carbs could provide.
“That and your killer work ethic,” I said, fries in hand.
“Why thank you, Mr. Forde,” she said. “But let’s see how well I can keep that going over these next few months.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “You’re talking about with the wedding and all of that?”
A coy expression formed on her face, one that I couldn’t quite puzzle out. Something was up, and it appeared that whatever it was, she couldn’t wait to tell me.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll bite. What’s up?”
Now she looked on the verge of bursting. She took in a deep breath, a big smile on her face.
“I’m pregnant!”
My jaw didn’t often drop, but it sure as hell did right there.
“Sandy!” I said. “Congratulations!”
I got up, stepped around my desk, and gave her a big, happy hug.
“When did you find out?” I asked.
“Only a couple of days ago,” she said. “Don’t say anything to anyone, but we weren’t planning on it. After we got married, sure, but not before all that.”
“These things happen,” I said. “And you’re in a pretty damn good position for it. Loving fiancé, great job…” I smiled. “Incredible boss.”
She let out a chiming laugh that caught my ear. It sounded familiar…almost like Isla’s laugh.
As she had done over and over again over the last few months, Isla appeared in my head. But I simply did my usual strategy whenever it happened, focusing on something else and closing my eyes until she was gone.
The significance of the fact that I’d had to come up with a psychological strategy to deal with my thoughts on Isla wasn’t lost on me. But her appearing at random times, or when something simply reminded me of her, was a fixed part of my routine these days. How long would it go on? I’d find myself wondering. Would the memory fade, or was she burned into my mind?
I had no idea what she was up to these days. I’d considered doing some research, finding out how her life was going. But it seemed too personal, none of my business. Besides, knowing her, there was no doubt she was kicking butt at the LA offices, probably with a steady boyfriend she’d met at some company mixer. Maybe she was even thinking about marriage herself.
As crazy as it sounded, I even found myself wondering at times what a life with Isla would be like, how it would be to hold her, make love to her like we had back in Rio. Maybe we’d even be a couple. Who knows? Maybe one day we’d be sharing the happy news of a marriage and child.
Pointless thoughts, I knew. What’s done was done, and there wasn’t a chance a woman like her would last long on the dating market, especially in a city like LA.
More important matters to worry about, I told myself. Like the fact that Sandy has just told you the happiest news of her life.
I pushed Isla out of my mind and focused all my attention on Sandy.
“But seriously,” I said. “You know that I’m here for whatever you need. You need time off? You’ve got it. I’ve even got ins with some of the best doctors in the city—no doubt I could set you up with the best obstetricians in the state.”
She appeared moved at my words.
“I mean, we have great benefits here,” she said. “I feel like asking for anything more would be…greedy. I don’t know.”
“Don’t think anything of it,” I said. “One of the nice things about being in the position that I’m in is helping those I care about. You’ve been with me for almost a year now, Sandy, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re an invaluable member of the team. And a good friend.”
She pursed her lips, and I spotted the shimmer of tears forming in her eyes.
“Adam,” she said. “You’re going to make me cry in my French fries.”
“Don’t do that,” I said with a grin. “They’re already salty enough.”
She laughed, quickly wiping her eyes and taking a breath.
“Anyway,” she said. “I’ll let you know what happens when it happens.”
“Great,” I said. “And the second you want me to help with anything…”
She offered another smile.
“I appreciate it, I really do,” she said. “We’ll see if Dean’s as eager to accept help as I am, however.”
“I understand that,” I said. “And…congratulations Sandy. I really mean it.”
“Thanks, boss,” she said warmly.
We ate our food, Sandy stopping about halfway through with a thoughtful expression on her face.
“I know what that look means,” I said as I wiped my hands. “You’ve got an idea on your mind.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve been trying to not obsessively think about the baby, you know? I mean, I do still work here. And one of the things I keep coming back to is the Rio plant.”
“That right?”
“Right,” she said. “It seems like we’ve hit this stalemate with Edward and the rest of the board. No one wants to do anything about it, and whenever the subject gets brought up, Bernard is always the first to mention how we have bigger things to worry about with the expansions and all.”
“That’s because he’s hoping to stall,” I said. “Push the issue to the end of the year and then bring Edward another report showing that the plant is a loss. He comes with that kind of data and Edward just might sign off on closing the place down, moving overseas like Bernard wants.”
“You’re right,” she said. “All he really has to do is wait it out.”
She shook her head.
“But I’m right there with you, boss,” she said. “No way we can stand around and let all of those people lose their
jobs.”
“Too bad Edward has his head in the expansions,” I said. “Last thing he has time for is looking over more of the same industrial psychology data that I’ve been sending him.”
“But here’s my idea,” Sandy said, leaning in. “Just go down there again. Go down there and take matters into your own hands. Work with the manager and implement the changes. When it’s done come back, tell Edward what you did, and let him see how good of an idea it was.”
“It’s risky,” I said. “But I like where your head is. Someone needs to get down there and take care of things. We’ve been spending too much time talking about it and not acting.”
I thought it over more.
“But Edward won’t like it one bit if I sneak off.”
“True,” she said. “And it’s not like the CEO can disappear on a whim.”
“I’ll talk to him one more time,” I said. “Tell him that I’m going. If he doesn’t like it, then I’ll go anyway. But you’re right—I’m not going to stand around while those people lose their jobs.”
“That’s the boss I know,” Sandy said with a smile. “And besides, you’ve been doing such a great job during your first year he’s got to let you at least give it a try, right?”
“You’d think so,” I said. “But he can be a stubborn man.”
“You have to give it one more try, boss,” she said. “I know you can do it.”
She was right—I had to.
Even if it could end up costing me everything.
Chapter 24
Adam
I marched down the hallway to Edward’s office practically bubbling with confidence. The talk with Sandy had knocked loose something that had been stuck in my mind, preventing me from doing what needed to be done.
Well, no longer. I was going to have the conversation with Edward that I knew I should’ve had months ago. The Rio problem had been in the periphery of not just me, but also of Corliss. I was going to take care of it once and for all.
When I finally reached the massive double doors of Corliss’s office, I gave them a rap. One that I was certain Edward knew meant not only was it me, but that I was there for some serious business.
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