He stood to leave, and Talia gently touched his hand in thanks.
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"Take heart, little bird. Things will get better. I can always slip Dirk love-potions with his medicines!" He winked, and ran lightly down the staircase.
She laughed, feeling much eased, and rose; laying her book down on the table beside the couch. She went slowly about the room and extinguished her lights, and then went to bed with a happier heart and mind.
* * *
By the next morning Talia felt far more optimistic— and far readier to tackle her problems face on. And since Dirk was out of reach, the logical problem to tackle was Elspeth. Now she was determined to corner Elspeth and confront her about her behavior. Council and Court kept her occupied most of the day, she missed the girl at arms practice by scant moments. Finally she tried tracking her down after dinner— but Elspeth managed to elude Talia again. She had no doubt this time that it was no accident, but a purposeful avoidance.
Talia was badly worried. All her instincts told her that things were about to come to a head. She opened her shields and was unsuccessfully trying to locate the girl when she felt an urgent and unmistakable summons from Rolan. With a sinking heart she left the Collegium and ran for the Field.
When she reached the fence that surrounded it she saw her worst fears realized. Waiting with Rolan was Elspeth's Gwena, both of them like marble statues in the moonlight.
The images she received from both of them— especially Gwena— were blurred and chaotic, though there was no mistaking Gwena's anxiety. Talia touched both their necks and concentrated in an effort to make some sense of the images. Finally she got a series that came clear... and Orthallen was at the center of them. Orthallen, and a young courtier who was his creature, one of "Corby's Crew"— and they were planning Elspeth's disgrace!
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She threw herself onto Rolan's back without a moment's hesitation. He galloped at full speed to the fence that separated the Field from the barn and stables of the ordinary horses, with Gwena barely keeping up beside him. They vaulted the fence like a pair of great white birds, and headed straight for the haybarn. Talia flung herself off Rolan's back before they had fully stopped.
As she sprinted for the barn, she heard a young male voice murmuring something in the darkness, and she flung open the great door with a strength she never even knew she had.
Moonlight poured in on the pair disclosed, and Talia saw with relief that matters had not yet had a chance to proceed very far between Elspeth and her would-be lover. He was rattled considerably by Talia's sudden appearance. If Elspeth was, she wasn't showing it.
"What do you want?" Elspeth asked flatly, refusing pridefully to snatch her jerkin closed where it was unlaced.
"To prevent you from making the same mistake your mother did," Talia replied just as coldly. "The mistake of thinking that fine words mean a lofty mind, and a pretty face goes with a noble heart. This young peacock has little more in his mind except to put you in a position where you have no choice but to take him as your consort or disgrace yourself, your mother, and your Kingdom."
"You're wrong!" Elspeth defended him passionately. "He loves me! He told me so!"
"And you believed him, even when your own Companion would have nothing to do with him?" Talia was white-hot with anger now. Elspeth was not willing to listen to reason. Very well then, she should have evidence that she would accept— in plenty.
Talia ruthlessly forced rapport on the young courtier. His petty evil was no match for some of the minds Talia had been forced to touch, though his slimy slyness made her skin crawl. Before Elspeth had a chance to shield herself, Talia pulled her in as well— and forced her to see for herself the true thoughts of one who had claimed that he cared for her.
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With a cry of revulsion, Elspeth tore herself away from him and fled to the opposite side of the barn, while Talia released her mind from the enforced union. She was less gentle with the young popinjay. She had him in a crushing mental grip, and fed his fear without compunction as he gazed at her in dumb terror.
"You will say nothing of this to anyone," she told him, burning each word into his mind. "Because if you dare, you'll never sleep again— for every time you shut your misbegotten eyes, this is what you'll see—"
She tore the memory of his worst nightmare out of the bowels of recollection and flung it in his face, brutally invoking terror and forcing that on him as well. He whimpered and groveled at her feet until she threw him violently out of rapport.
"Get out of here," she growled. "Get out, go back to your father's holding, and don't come back."
He fled without a single backward glance.
She turned to face Elspeth, trying to control her anger by slowing her breathing. "I thought better of you than that," she said, each word built of ice. "I thought you would have had better taste than to let a creature like that touch you."
Elspeth was crying, but as much out of anger as unhappiness. "Fine words from the Herald Vestal," she spat. "First Skif, then Kris— and now who?
Why shouldn't I have my lovers as well as you?"
Talia closed her hands into fists so tightly that her nails cut her palms. "I think I hear the Brat speaking," she replied. "The little bitch who wants all the glory of being the Heir, but none of the responsibilities. Oh, Hulda taught you very well, didn't she? Grab and take— snatch all you can, think only of yourself, and never mind what repercussions your actions may have on others. Others don't matter. Oh, no, not now that you're Heir.
After all, your word is law, right? Or it should be. And if somebody tries to make you see reason, well, dredge up the worst you can about them and throw it in their faces— then they'll be afraid to try and stop you from 127
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doing what you want. Well, that doesn't work with me, young woman. For all the importance it has, I could be sleeping with men, women, or chirras, because I'm not the Heir. You seem to have conveniently forgotten that you will sit on the Throne when your mother dies. You may have to make a marriage of state to save us from a powerful enemy. That was what this business with Alessandar and Ancar was all about, or have you forgotten that, too? No one will want you or respect you outKingdom after dallying with a petty schemer like he is. And I, at least, have never been intimate with anyone that I didn't know, and who wasn't willing to let me inside his thoughts. He wouldn't let you do that, would he? Didn't that make you the least bit suspicious? Lady's Breasts, girl— where was your mind? Your own Companion wouldn't have anything to do with him! Didn't that tell you anything? If you're so hot to have a man between your legs, why the hell didn't you choose a fellow student or someone from the Circle? They will at least never betray you and they know when to keep their mouths shut!"
Elspeth burst into frantic tears. "Go away!" she wailed. "Leave me alone!
It wasn't like that at all! I thought— I thought— he loved me! I hate you—
I never want to see you ever again!"
"That pleases me very well," Talia snapped. "I'm ashamed that I wasted so much of my time trying to help a damned fool."
She stalked out of the barn, vaulted onto Rolan's back, and returned to the Palace without a backward glance.
But before she was halfway there, she was already rueing half of what she had said.
* * *
She reported to Selenay in an agony of self-accusation. The Queen was in her private quarters, which were as spartan as her public rooms were opulent. She had wrapped herself in a robe of old and shabby brown velveteen, nearly the same age and color as the couch she curled up on. Talia stood before her, unable to look her in the eyes, as she related the entire bitter tale.
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"Goddess, Selenay, I couldn't have made a bigger mess of the situation if I'd planned it out in advance," she finished, rubbing one temple and very near to weeping with vexat
ion. "I'm as big an idiot as I accused Elspeth of being. I let all my training go flying merrily out the window, let my own problems get the better of me, and completely lost my temper. Maybe you'd better send me back through the Collegium with the babies again."
"Just wait a moment. I'm not sure that your reaction was the wrong one, and I'm not sure that you didn't do the right thing," the Queen replied thoughtfully, candlelight reflecting in her wide eyes. "Sit down, little friend, and hear me out. Firstly, we've been very gentle with Elspeth up until now insofar as exposing her to the kind of emotional blackmail and double-dealing perfidy that we both know is fairly commonplace at Court.
Well, now she's learned that deceit can arrive packaged very attractively, and that isn't a bad thing. She was hurt and frightened— but that will send the lesson home the more deeply. I believe you were correct in thinking that this experience will prevent her from making the same kind of mistake I made. That's not to say that you didn't overreact and say some things you shouldn't have, but on the whole, I think the good will outweigh the mistakes."
"How can you say that after the way I've alienated her? I'm supposed to be her friend and counselor!"
"And when, in all the time you've known her, have you ever lost your temper with her? Not once. So she learns something else— that it's possible to go too far with you, and that you're as human and fallible as the rest of us. I doubt she'll ever provoke you that far again."
"There isn't likely to be another chance," Talia said bitterly. "Not the way I've fouled things up."
"I disagree." Selenay shook her head emphatically. "Since you've been gone I've gotten to know my daughter very well. She meant what she said... for now. She has a temper, but once it cools she doesn't hold a grudge. And when she realizes that you were right— and acting in her defense— she'll come around. If you were to disappear for a while, I think she'll eventually realize that while you did overreact, so did she."
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The Queen pondered for a moment. "I think I have the perfect solution.
Remember Alessandar's marriage proposal? I intended to make a state visit there in the next few weeks, and I wanted to send an envoy on ahead to look the prince over. As my own personal advisor you would be perfect for that, the more especially as I intend to send Kris as well. I heard about the quarrel between Kris and Dirk, and I had figured on giving them a bit of time for things to cool as well. I was going to send Dirk and Kyril, until Dirk fell ill last night, so I'll separate the pair by sending Kris off."
" That's mended," Talia sighed.
"I still want to send Kris; he has the manner and the blood to be acceptable, and I would as soon keep Kyril here. You and Kris worked outstandingly well as a team, and I trust your judgment completely. I think that rather than canceling the visit, I'll move the date up and send the two of you on ahead to spy things out for me. I'll take Elspeth with me. And I'll have a word with Orthallen about those protégés of his." Selenay's eyes grew cold. "It's about time he stopped being their defender and stopped letting them use his good name to get away with whatever they please."
Talia realized then that she had not told Selenay her belief that Orthallen had put the boy up to the attempted seduction. But— what proof did she have? Nothing, except the vague image of Orthallen in the boy's mind—and that could have been because he was hoping to escape punishment by sheltering behind his protector. Best not to mention it, she thought wearily.
I'm not up to going through the same arguments I faced with Kris.
"By the time we all meet again," Selenay was saying, "Elspeth will have had time to think. Do you think you could be ready in the morning? The sooner you drop out of Elspeth's sight, the better."
"I could be ready in an hour," Talia replied. "Although I'm not sure you should be so quick to trust me after tonight."
"Talia, I trust you even more," Selenay replied, as Talia seemed to read understanding in her eyes. "You've come to me hot from the quarrel to claim it was all your fault— how many people, how many Heralds, even, would have done the same? But you haven't told me what has set you so 130
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on edge. Is it something to do with Kris? Did you get caught in the middle of his feud with Dirk? If you have problems with Kris, I'll send a different Herald with you."
"Kris?" Talia's honest surprise seemed to relieve the Queen. "No, thank the Lady, we've more than made up our differences, just as he and Dirk made up. Bright Havens, if anything he'll help straighten out this awful tangle! It's nothing that can't be worked out with time, just like this row with Elspeth; it's just that the time it's taking to set everything straight is driving me out of patience and out of temper."
"Good. Then the plan stands. You and Kris will leave in the morning."
"Selenay, if you don't think it's a bad idea..." Talia began hesitantly.
"I doubt that it would be. What is it you'd like to do?"
"I'd like to write a note of apology to Elspeth and leave it with you.
There's no doubt in my mind that I was partially in the wrong, that I overreacted, and that I said a great many hurtful things because I was unhappy and I wanted to hurt someone else. I certainly was far too hard on her. You can use your own judgment whether or not to give it to her, and when."
"It sounds reasonable to me," Selenay replied, "although a bit unnecessary.
We'll be following a week or two behind you, and apologies are always more effective in person."
"That's quite true— but you never know what's likely to happen, and you may to want to give it to her before you start off. I don't like the idea of leaving unfinished business behind me, especially something as wretched as this. Who knows? I might never get another chance."
"Bright Havens, dear! I should hire you out as my official doomsayer!"
Selenay laughed, but it was a little uneasy.
Talia shook her head with a vague smile. "Gods, I'm seeing everything miserable just because I'm miserable. I will leave that note with you, but 131
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because the catling may well decide to be a human being again once I've left. Now— are they expecting any two Heralds, or Dirk and Kyril? Will there be any problem with me showing up?"
"The underlings are probably just expecting two Heralds," Selenay said. "I hadn't specified. I'll send the appropriate papers with you, of course. The guards on Alessandar's side of the Border will send the specifics on ahead of you. I've heard he has some special way of relaying messages, faster than birds or couriers. I would appreciate it if you could find out more details on that, if it's possible. It might not be..."
"It depends on whether it's supposed to be kept secret from allies or not—or whether it's a secret at all. We'll do our best," Talia managed half a smile. "You know, having the two of us on this assignment will work rather well at ferreting secrets out. Anybody involved with state secrets will be nervous; I can pick that up, and Kris can follow my anchor to Farsee what's going on. My Queen, you are very sly."
"Me?" Selenay contrived to look innocent, then caught her eyes squarely.
"Are you sure you're ready for this? I won't send you if you don't feel capable of political intrigue and all the rest that this will entail. It is likely to be simple and straightforward, but it could involve ferreting out secrets, and at the very least you'll be dealing with the same amount of scheming you have here."
"I'm ready," Talia sighed. "It can't be worse than the mess I've already been dealing with."
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Six
"I feel like I'm running away."
Talia's voice was quiet, but in the hush of pre-dawn Kris had no trouble hearing her.
"Don't," Kris replied, tightening Tantris' girth with a little grunt.
Their Companions stood patiently side by side in the tackshed, as they had so many times during Talia's internship, waiting for their Chosen to finish harnessing them. The rain that had blown up jus
t past midnight had died away to nothing, but the skies were still overcast; both Heralds wore their cloaks against the chill damp. Tantris and Rolan were being decked out in full "formal" array; the silver brightwork gleamed in the light from the lantern just above Tantris' shoulder and the bridle bells tinkled softly as the Companions shifted. The homey scent of leather and hay made Talia's throat ache with tears she refused to shed.
"Look, there isn't anything either of us can do here at the moment, right?"
Kris threw his saddlebags over Tantris' hindquarters and fastened them to the saddle's skirting. "Elspeth won't talk to you, and Dirk can't. So you might as well be doing something useful— something different. There won't be anybody who's going to need you during the few weeks we'll be gone, will there?"
"No, not really." Talia had been very busy this past evening; her lack of sleep was apparent from the dark circles under her eyes. "Destria is doing fine; anything she needs now Vostel is more than competent to give her. I talked to Alberich; he took me to see Kyril. They promised me that they'd keep an eye on your uncle— I'm sorry, Kris..."
"Don't apologize; I'm just a little surprised you managed to convince Kyril he needed watching. Tantris, stand, dammit!"
"I didn't, really, Alberich did."
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"Huh. Alberich? Nobody convinces him of anything; he must have had reasons of his own to agree with you." He digested this in silence for a moment. Tantris shifted over another step.
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