Before Ethan and I were a couple, we were best friends. I miss him. I miss having him near me. I miss the smell of him. I miss feeling his arms tighten around me in the middle of the night. It’s been too long.
Despite the upbeat tempo of the music, we continue to move slowly, relishing this moment and reconnecting. I can’t live holding a grudge towards him and fighting my feelings for mistakes he’s made. No one is perfect.
Regardless of how far I traveled, the people I met, and the things I learned, Ethan was the one always to pop up in my mind. He was the one I would envision sitting with at cafes in Europe. His arms were the ones I would feel wrapped around me on cold nights when I was lying down on those uncomfortable hostel beds. He was the one I wished was with me.
So right now, I’m going to enjoy having his arms on me, holding me close to his warm energy, allowing it to embrace me and fill me. I am going to let go of the what ifs and doubts, and let my heart have what it wants. And what my heart has always wanted is Ethan, since we were little kids and made belief we were getting married. That was when I knew he was whom I’d want to marry when I was older.
I knew one day I’d replace the wild flowers we’d picked for my bouquet to gorgeous roses, nicely bundled together. That was when I knew that my plastic princess tiara would be exchanged for a beautiful long veil. And I knew that when I walked down the aisle, it wouldn’t be a little boy waiting for me, it would be a grown Ethan, dressed handsomely in a tux.
I look over to Katie to see if she has some reassurance to offer me, but I see her dancing with someone else. I take back my previous observations about her taking that rocker wannabe home as I see one hot Tom Cruise look-alike from Risky Business holding her possessively. Deny all they want, but Tristan and Katie don’t have me fooled.
“Don’t get your hopes up with those two,” Ethan says, reading my mind. I look up at him questioning him with my eyes. “You know how Katie is. Tristan is the same way. They’re having fun.”
“Whatever. I think they’re perfect for each other.”
Ethan kisses the top of my head sweetly as we continue to move to the music, “Always wanting the best for everyone.”
I hear someone clear his throat behind me. “Happy birthday, Ava.” What the hell is Matt doing here? This can’t be good. I stop dancing and turn to look at him.
“Thank you, Matt. It’s nice of you to pass by.” I put on that hostess smile and be polite.
“Absolutely. I hadn’t realized it was a themed party. Sorry for not dressing up.” He discreetly turns his nose up at the mention of a themed party and tugs at his button down sleeve, but I don’t miss the look of distaste for the theme and the hardness in his eyes when he sees Ethan.
“That’s because you weren’t invited,” Ethan spits back. I squeeze his arm in warning. The last thing I need is a scene in front of everyone.
“Matt, you know you’re welcome. Please have fun, grab a drink.”
“Thank you, Ava. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I guess my suspicions were proven right.” He looks between Ethan and I before walking towards the bar.
“I’ll be right back.”
“Ethan...” I raise my eyebrows at him. “Don’t do anything.”
“I need a drink.” He walks towards the bar ignoring Matt on the other side of it and orders a scotch. I notice him closing and opening his eyes, stabilizing his breathing.
I search for Katie. How the hell did Matt know about the party? It wasn’t a slip in the guest list because he would’ve known about the theme.
“Hey, can I talk to you a second? Sorry, Tristan.” I pull her to the side. “By the way, thanks for coming. Love the outfit,” I tell him over my shoulder as I lead Katie out of the dancing crowd.
“Did you invite Matt?” The inquisition begins.
“Why the hell would I do that?” Katie narrows her eyes in defense.
“He’s here.”
Katie looks around, searching for him. “I don’t see him.”
I look back towards the bar, but Matt is no longer there. Neither is Ethan. Great. The last thing I need is for these two to fight.
“I’ll be back. Ethan isn’t by the bar either.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“No, keep dancing with Tristan, he looks hot.” I wink. She rolls her eyes, but is pleased with the idea of dancing with him.
I head inside the house through the kitchen. I’m about to cross over to the foyer when I hear Matt’s voice. His tone stops me in my tracks, and I try to hear what he’s saying.
“You can try all you want, but at the end of the day we both know you’ll fuck up again. You’ll hurt her, or run into a whore you’ve fucked, or simply be your worthless self. When that time comes, I’ll be there, waiting to pick up the broken pieces and put her back together. I’ll win. In the end, I always win.”
“You son of a bitch.”
“You know it’s true. She may still be in love with you, but I’ll find a way. It won’t be hard to get Kasey to throw herself all over you. Will you be able to stop yourself from fucking her then?”
“Get. Out. Now.” My voice cracks as I point towards the door. I spot them in a corner of the foyer near the staircase, Matt leaning over Ethan.
“Ava.” Surprise is written all over Matt’s face.
“Get out!”
“Wait… you must have…” He struggles to find his words.
“Matt, I told you to leave. That’s it. You’re done. You lost. Actually, you never had me. Get your ass out of here, or I’ll be the one kicking it out,” I say through gritted teeth.
I feel my blood boil. I could kill him right now and not feel one bit bad for him. The son of a bitch. I knew there was something off. I knew he was competing to screw with Ethan. I just wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, be a friend. I didn’t realize how far he’d take it to actually win.
He turns and walks away, his head hung in defeat, without a backwards glance.
“Ava, you know that what he said isn’t true. I won’t fuck this up. Are you okay?” Ethan is cautious with his words.
As I look at him, his eyes wide and rampant, I see him. Dressed in a ridiculously hot Maverick costume, his hair disheveled, clearly showing the stress he feels, and his emerald green eyes concerned for me when he was the one getting reminded of his screw-ups.
I’m tired of pretending that it’s supposed to be this way. Thinking I have to let him go because of mistakes made. He hurt me. He left me. But no one has told me how this story is supposed to go; no one has written it but me. I have the choice of rewriting it.
“I’m fine.” I don’t care that Matt was trying to beat Ethan by “winning” me. I don’t care that he’s the asshole everyone always said he is because I don’t love him. I never had feelings for him more than friendship.
The man I love is standing in front of me, making my body heat intensely with desire. He always has. He has always affected me in a way no one else has. And right now, in this hidden corner behind the staircase, I want to strip him out of that outfit. I want to feel him bare on me, taking control and driving me to that point of no return.
“Well, now that we’re alone, I wanted to give you this.” Ethan pulls out that signature blue box. I look up at him unsure how to react.
“It’s your gift. Open it.” He shows me those gorgeous dimples.
I open the small card attached to it and read in Ethan’s perfect handwriting, “This is how long I’ll love you for.”
I’m suddenly aware that he’s watching me closely, analyzing and gauging my reaction. With quivering hands, I open the box to find a gorgeous rose gold necklace with an infinity pendant.
“Turn it over,” I hear his soft voice say. I’m frozen in place looking down at it. When I turn it over, I read, Forever Yours, engraved on the back of the pendant. I’m reminded of that night when Ethan first told me he loved me.
We had gotten back from the bonfire by the abandoned building Katie ha
d taken us to and were laying on my bed in perfect silence. Ethan was caressing my bare skin, leaving it scorching wherever he touched. I looked to my side and straight into his eyes. My room was dark, but the moonlight shone in through the window, casting a slight shadow over us.
“You love me.” I teased him.
Suddenly his hand stopped its sweet torture on my skin and his face grew serious. Maybe he was regretting what he said earlier tonight.
“Yes, I do.” He grabbed my face between his hands, slowly lowering his lips to mine, building the anticipation, until I felt his hot breath mingling with mine, and his tongue dancing erotically in my mouth.
He rolled me onto him, and I could feel his cock through the thin material of his boxers. Our kiss deepened, and I couldn’t help but press myself into him, showing him what I wanted. He groaned and broke our kiss.
Breathless, I asked him, “How much do you love me?” Wiggling my eyebrows, insinuating he show me. I was tired of waiting for that perfect moment to make love, but being the perfectionist he is, Ethan wanted to be sure it was flawless.
“To infinity,” he responded simply, as his hands moved down my body, finding my wet core and deliciously pleasuring me. I felt the heat build, the intensity grow deep in my body and move up my spine.
“Mmmm, Ethan, please…”
“Shh, baby. Let go. Let yourself fall,” he whispered, as he nibbled my ear and moved his mouth down to my neck, lightly biting and sucking as his fingers worked their magic deep inside me.
“Oh, God…” I moaned, moving my body to meet his fingers’ thrusts. Who knew foreplay could be so satisfying.
“That’s right baby.” He put his lips on mine again as a free finger began to move rapidly over my clit.
I came undone, orgasming all over his hand.
“Never forget how much I love you.”
“Do you like it?” Ethan interrupts my sweet reminiscence.
“Yes, thank you.” I feel my cheeks redden and the wetness building between my legs again.
“I meant it back then, and I mean it now. I’ll always love you. I fucked up. I’m still trying to figure out how to make it up to you, but I will. I’ll show you I’m still the same person. I promise–”
I crush my body into his, wrapping my arms around his neck, and forcing his lips open with my tongue. I explore his sweet taste, the perfect combination of mint and scotch and feel the growing bulge pressing against me.
His strong arms pull me further into him and his movements mimic my desperation to get closer, deeper, more of him.
I feel the coldness of the wall on my back and Ethan’s body pressed further into mine, if that’s even possible. His hands caress my arms; our lips molding perfectly, tongues dancing together in perfect unison, old lovers rediscovering each other.
His fingers intertwine with mine and he lazily moves my arms up against the wall, holding them there, as his body continues to pin me against it.
I feel my mouth vacant as his lips attack my neck, nibbling, sucking, licking the sensitive skin at the base of my throat. My eyes close in ecstasy and a moan escapes my lips. How can he turn me on so much with just his mouth?
He slowly drags his hands down my arms, to my chest, and teases my breasts gently. God, I wish I didn’t have any clothes separating us. I buck my hips to his and he pushes me back to the wall in return.
“No.” His emerald green eyes have darkened to almost black, passion possessing him, his breath heavy as he continues to move his mouth down to my breasts, scraping his teeth over my sensitive skin through the thin material of my bodice, leaving my nipple erect and moving his mouth to the other one.
I throw my head back against the wall, eyes rolling back, and let out a louder than intended moan. The wetness between my legs is evident and I’m dripping for this man. I’m desperate to feel his skin on mine, his touch on me, his mouth on mine again.
He continues to tantalize me, to light that fire in me from the inside out, and I don’t care that I’m disheveled due to this delicious attack.
“God… Ethan…”
“That’s right, baby, say my name.” His teeth graze my ear as he moves his mouth to the skin right below it. “Mine is the only name you’ll be moaning from now on.” His cool breath on my hot skin makes a shiver run up my spine.
I move my head to catch his mouth in mine, and return the attack, biting his bottom lip before possessing his mouth again.
Running my hands down his body, I feel Ethan’s hard body under my touch, until I reach his hardest part, his cock, and stroke it slightly over his pants. So easy to just unzip his costume and feel his bare skin.
He grabs my hand forcefully, pulling it up over my head, and his blazing eyes stare straight into mine.
“Not here. Not like this. You deserve better. Now let’s go back out there before people begin to whisper.”
“People are already whispering.” I want him now; up against the wall, on the stairs, in the bathroom. I don’t care, but right now, I just want to feel him on me, and his mouth attacking me again.
He gives me a chaste kiss on the lips, “I love you. Now go back out there.” He smacks my ass.
“Aren’t you coming?”
“In a second. I need to, um, readjust myself.” I smile wickedly. “No!” He shoots back at my suggestion. “Save a dance for me.”
Chapter 21
Ethan
I deserve a fucking medal. Hardest thing was not taking her right here up against this wall, hidden in that fucking corner, with the party going on outside.
My blood is thumping, and my mind is working overtime. She kissed me. I don’t know if it was the gift, just giving her time to think, or hearing what Matt was saying. I don’t care the reason. This time she isn’t getting away. This time there’s no turning back.
Now I need to head to the bathroom and readjust myself. Not sure how long I’ll last seeing her here and not being able to properly touch her, or how the hell I’m going to get rid of my hard on. No way I’m rubbing myself off here and now.
Squirrels. Yes, think of squirrels. That would work, right? Fuck me. I wash my face in the bathroom sink to cool down and keep my mind on squirrels. After a few minutes, I’m ready to go back to the party. I don’t know why the hell squirrels popped into my head, but that shit worked.
Walking back out onto the patio, I immediately spot Ava talking to Katie, Tristan, Dan, Jess, and a girl I am not familiar with, at one of the high top tables. Her back is to me; so I take a moment to look at her, admire her beauty and the light that surrounds her. The same light I feel reaching me. She’s my peace, and now, I’m feeling that peace again.
I know I have a pussy smile plastered on my face, but I don’t care what anyone says or thinks. When you’re given the chance to be with the person you love more than life itself, you don’t care if you’re acting like a whipped asshole.
Ava must feel me approaching because she turns to look at me, a heavenly smile illuminating her face, and she looks absolutely gorgeous. She looks younger, peaceful and happy. Maybe she also needed me to bring that peace back to her. She also looks extremely tempting. I stand beside her and lightly place my hand on her lower back before bringing it down to my side.
“Ethan, this is Stacy. She works with me at the gallery,” Ava introduces me to her coworker.
“Nice to meet you.” I extend my hand to shake hers.
“Nice to meet you, too.” She smiles genuinely. I wonder if she’s heard about me.
“Where the hell were you?” Dan seems annoyed. He’s probably upset he missed a chance to hit Matt.
“Bathroom,” I state coolly, and I see Ava from the corner of my eye biting her lip, trying not to laugh.
“Well, you took a long ass time. Are you constipated?”
“Seriously? Yes, I was sitting there trying to take a shit. Who’s the one PMSing now?” I love when Dan is in a bad mood. I’m not sure what’s eating at him, but I love to give him a taste of his own medicine.
Jess laughs beside him. “Relax, Dan. We’re having fun. What’s it to you where Ethan was? Go get another drink.” She sends him to the bar, and I notice her wink at me.
Jess is perceptive; I’m sure she may have noticed something between Ava and my body language, or the smiles we both have conquering our faces. An idiot would notice that.
I lean into Ava’s side and whisper in her ear, “I’ll be right back,” before walking after Dan to grab a drink myself.
“Spill it!” I hear Katie say too loudly as I’m walking away from them. Ava is going to kill me, but I welcome her sweet torture. I’m not going to fuck her senseless tonight. I’m going to woo her. Show her how precious she is to me, and then love her until I’ve erased all her pain.
Apparently Dan doesn’t miss what Jess noticed. “What happened with you two? Did you fuck and make up?” Dan looks at me accusingly after ordering his drink.
“What’s got your panties in a bunch? You’re Dan the Man, not a pissy teenage girl, because sorry, man, but that’s what you’re acting like. You were fine earlier.”
“Yeah, Jess started telling everyone we’re going away next weekend, and I started to freak. I think Ava knows. Does she know? She better not tell Jess. I was her friend first, even if you did fuck that up.”
“Wow, thanks for that reminder. Calm the fuck down. Ava won’t tell her anything. She probably doesn’t know. Seriously, if this is how you’re going to be acting once you’re engaged, maybe you should reconsider. Bridezilla much?” I’m really trying not to laugh because I can see he’s really nervous, but he’s the one always making jokes about other guys who are pussy whipped. I love to see the tables turned on him.
“You think I shouldn’t propose?” His eyes are wide with worry.
“Here, drink.” I hand him his drink. “I’m joking. Now stop worrying and have fun.”
Dan chugs about half his gin and tonic before sighing in relief. “You’re right, I’m Dan the Man, no need to freak out.”
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