“I don’t want to go on the way we’ve been.”
“Neither do I.”
“Then what do you want?”
He was so close, she could almost feel the heat of his body. His breath misted in the cold night air as he spoke. He reached up and touched her cheek, muttering an oath under his breath. With one swift movement, he pulled her to him, crushing her body against his rock hard chest. She felt his fingers curl into the soft flesh of her upper arms as his mouth came down over hers with a white hot intensity.
His kiss held an urgency, built of the frustration that plagued both of them since they met. She realized then that her attraction to Stoney was much more than simple lust. There was strength to Stoney that pulled her to him like a magnet. He dropped his hands to her waist and circled one arm around her, pulling her to him until she felt how tight and hard his body was with need. Heat coiled inside her and raced through each and every inch of her being. He drove his tongue deep inside her mouth and out again, teasing her, tantalizing her until a soft moan escaped her lips.
“You’re driving me crazy,” he whispered against her ear. His shallow breaths were hot against her cool skin. “How can I be this close to you and not want you as much as I do?”
His deep breath expanded his chest until it pressed firmly against her breasts, causing her nipples to respond by tightening into tiny little buds. She wanted to curl into the circle of his arms and never leave. The loneliness she’d felt just a few short moments ago became a distant memory. In his arms, nothing could touch her.
“You have a funny way of showing it.” She didn’t want to let him go. It was as if everything they’d been through was meant to lead up to this moment, when she was in his arms. She reached up and laced her fingers together behind his neck. She wanted his mouth on hers again. And she wanted so much more.
Abruptly he pulled away and dropped his arms stiffly by his side, turning his eyes toward the fire.
“It’s no good. I’m not what you’re looking for, Melanie.”
“You don’t know anything about what I’m looking for.”
He backed away a few steps as if needing the distance for himself as much as for her. She immediately felt cold despite the warm fire they were standing by.
“I’ve met a lot of women on the rodeo circuit. Most of them aren’t looking for a lasting relationship with a cowboy. They want the moment. It’s a dangerous thing lovin’ a cowboy. Expectations last one night, and then you’re on to the next rodeo. What I know is that a woman with big dreams like you has expectations for the future. You won’t find any with me.”
Her head was spinning. How could he be telling her he didn’t want her after kissing her the way he had? “Are you always this chivalrous?” She was aware of the bite in her tone.
“Right now I’m not feeling very chivalrous and I haven’t since the moment you stepped on my ranch.” He heaved a sigh and jammed his fingers through his thick black hair. “I want you, Melanie. Every bit of me is screaming to take you down and make love to you right here by the fire. But I can’t.”
“Yes-”
“No!” he roared, his voice startling her with its intensity. It seemed to echo like thunder off the mountains that surrounded them. “I want you to go into your tent and climb into your sleeping bag. Alone. You need to do that.”
She hugged herself, trying her best not to feel the ache of his rejection. “I don’t understand.”
“There’s nothing to understand because nothing can happen. Despite what we’re feeling, nothing can happen. You’ve got your plans and I’ve got a ranch to keep from going under. That’s why we’re here. Let’s not forget what brought us here.”
She suddenly felt the weight of tears behind her eyes. The way he’d kissed her was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. She could almost still feel the imprint of his arms wrapped around her waist like it was a brand. Her heart still skipped with the memory. Her body was still hot and aching with unfulfillment.
“I haven’t forgotten anything. I know why we’re here. And I know exactly what I want.”
“Maybe tonight. But that’s not enough. Go, Melanie. Because if I touch you now, so help me God, we’ll both regret it.”
She bit her bottle lip until she felt pain. “If that’s what you really want.”
“It’s what has to be.”
* * *
Stoney watched as Melanie turned away. He saw the unmistakable heartbreak in her cinnamon eyes and the tremble of her delicious lips. He stood there, watching as she climbed into the tent and secured the zipper. Part of him, the part that was still tight and nagging at him, wanted to go after her, to tell her to forget everything he’d said and make love to her. And he did want to make love to her. But as much as he ached to be inside her and kiss her until he stole her breath away, he knew he couldn’t. It was the last thing he should do.
He’d done a lot of thinking while he was out gathering wood for the fire. Taking his frustration out by chopping a downed tree into a million smaller pieces hadn’t given him the kind of relief he was looking for. Kissing Melanie, feeling her slender body in his arms only fueled the fire he’d fought hard to keep under control.
It wasn’t just his past that kept him from taking the next step with Melanie. He’d seen the desire shining in her eyes like the full moon on a cloudless night. He’d felt her give herself up to him when they kissed and he wanted to drink all of the passion she had just waiting to give. He wanted to discover what he could do to make her moan and cry out his name.
But it wasn’t the women in his past or the rodeo that kept him from taking back his words, crawling into her sleeping bag, and pressing his body against her silky bare skin. The women in his past hadn’t expected anything from him and he had no expectations for a future with any one of them. But Melanie made him think of wanting more. More than one night in a lonely motel room. More than one night on the top of a cold mountain.
If he allowed himself to think anymore about it, he’d have to admit that with Melanie there was something more. She wasn’t like the women of his past. With Melanie, he had expectations of the future. And that could never happen because as of right now, he had nothing to offer her. And he wouldn’t enter into any kind of lasting relationship with a woman unless he could give her a life without the kind of worry he’d be facing. She deserved everything the world had to offer. And he had nothing to give.
He spread out his bedroll, feeling fatigue seeping into his bones. But he knew he wouldn’t sleep. His body was still hard and reeling from the kiss of a woman he would never have.
He set himself down on top of his sleeping bag and let the cold mountain air wash over him as he looked up at the big Wyoming sky. There were women who were forgettable. So much so that Stoney could barely remember some of the names of girls whose company he’d had the pleasure of sharing.
Melanie was unforgettable. The kind of woman who left a man counting stars in the black night.
#
Chapter Seven
Stoney breathed in the pungent scent of moisture in the wake of the afternoon rain shower, his soaked clothes, and wet horse. He pulled on Thunder’s reins until the horse obliged in stopping by the bank of the river they’d been trailing along. Chester and Dolly automatically followed the leader.
“Why are we stopping?” Melanie asked, reaching into her saddlebag for her canteen. He watched her take a long pull from her canteen and replace it in her saddlebag before he replied.
“This looks like the best place for us to cross,” he said, looking hard to the right and to the left along the river’s edge. They’d been riding along the bank for more than an hour, and he’d hoped to find a spot where the river was low enough for them to cross easily. No such luck. The banks of the river had risen considerably after the rain shower they’d gotten caught in earlier. This was probably as good as it was going to get.
He glanced back at Melanie and saw the fear flash across her face. She tried to act as if she wasn’t scared, but h
e knew by the brightness of her eyes, and how she kept nibbling on her bottle lip as she watched the water slosh over the boulders in the creek that she was as frayed around the edges as Dolly. The river was moving faster than he would have liked, and it was just high enough so that the horses would probably have to swim. This was not exactly the ideal situation to take a newcomer.
He pulled Thunder around so he was facing Melanie. “What do you think? You up for this?”
She sat up straight and tall as an aspen pine in her saddle and confidently said, “Of course.” But she couldn’t fool him. He knew that beneath the surety in her voice and the determined look she cast him, she was masking her fear. Her knuckles were white as she held the reins in her hands. But he’d be willing to bet she’d rather bite off the head of a rattler if he suggested they not cross or keep going until they found a stretch that was low. He couldn’t help but admire the fact that she wouldn’t back down to her own fear.
“Thunder is a little more sure of himself than Dolly. He’s been through this a few times. Why don’t we switch-”
Melanie shook her head. “No,” she said, lifting her head defiantly as she stroked the mare on the neck. “We’ve come this far together, we can go the whole way. Isn’t that right, Doll?”
Dolly kept back stepping away from the bank, clopping her hooves in the mud. It was a clear indication to Stoney that she may bolt. Horses were normally skittish, but Dolly had had about as much as she was going to take during the last thunderstorm. As Melanie eased the horse closer to the bank, Dolly bobbed her head and nickered in protest. She stomped her hoof like a two-year-old having a tantrum, making it clear she wanted no part of that water.
Melanie made cooing noises and pulled at Dolly’s reins in an effort to keep the horse in line. “We can do it,” she said to Stoney.
He drew in a deep breath of cold mountain air that pulled at the tightness in his chest. “Okay, this may be a little tricky. I’m going to cross first, and I want you to watch for my lead. I have no idea how deep this water is going to get. If it ends up the horses will have to swim, then you’re going have to slide off Dolly’s back and swim along side her. Hold her reins to the side of her saddle so they won’t tangle in your feet or her’s and grab hold of the saddlehorn.
“The water is extremely cold and moving fast, so hold on tight or you could get pulled under your horse or taken down the river.” He watched as her gaze bobbed from the fast moving stream to the bank on the other side. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Drawing in a deep breath that lifted her shoulders, she nodded, refusing again to let him see the fear he was sure she felt. “It can’t be any colder than the bath I took in the lake the other day.”
“Okay,” he said, still not sure if he was making the right decision in letting Melanie attempt the crossing. If anything happened to her...
He forced his hat down so that it was tight on his head and gently kicked his heels into his mount’s sides. With a quick rush, Thunder plunged into the cold water with Chester following along side.
Melanie watched as Stoney and the horses entered the rushing water. About a third of the way in Stoney slipped out of Thunder’s saddle and plunged into the ice cold water. Her heart was in her throat, watching as the horses swam against the charge of water rushing downstream. Every once in a while water crashed over Stoney, soaking his head. Although they were moving fairly quick, to Melanie it felt like they were in the water forever. More than a few times she caught herself holding her breath, until she finally had to tell herself to breathe when Thunder and Chester clopped out of the water, bobbing their heads up and down with Stoney climbing out behind them.
He swung around, pulling off his black hat and giving it a shake before replacing it back on his head. “Your turn,” he called out.
It’s just a little swim across the creek, Melanie kept telling herself as Dolly inched her way into the rush. It’s no big deal. She reached back and checked the saddlebag, just to be certain her much needed insulin was secure with no chance of it traveling down the creek without her. “Come on, girl, we can do this,” she said in a soothing voice she hoped would coax some confidence into the mare.
The thrash of water clipped her boots, and she felt her heart in her throat. A numbing chill raced through her, and she wondered if she was really ready to take this on. She’d always talked so certain. Now she was second guessing herself about whether or not she could actually make it safely to the other bank. Would she put Dolly in danger? Would she panic? Would Stoney have to come in and rescue her if she did something wrong?
The water reached her thighs and she felt Dolly begin to buoy. She snapped her gaze up to the bank ahead of her and fixed her eyes on Stoney, hearing the slosh of water and the pounding of her heart in her ears.
“You’re doing great,” he called out, coning his hands around his mouth. “Now slide off and swim along side her.” She didn’t see any of the doubt she felt in Stoney’s expression, and somehow that surged her on. He had faith in her. She was in control.
Taking a deep breath, she plunged into the charging water. For a second she went under and was clutched by the fear of drowning. Her body tightened as the frigid water seeped through her clothes. She emerged to her great relief and gasped for air, swallowing water in the process. She choked on the water, feeling as if her lungs would explode. Water drops clung to her eyelashes, making it difficult to focus, but she held tight to the reins and to the saddlehorn until she thought her fingers would break under her own pressure. Finally, she could breathe again.
They were half way across, and she felt herself drifting away. Stoney was her focal point as they moved through the water. As they veered off at an angle, he moved with them along the outer bank. He never took his eyes off her as if he knew she needed that connection. In his expression, she saw the faith in her that she lacked. She’d doubted herself, despite telling him otherwise. But he had every confidence that she could conquer this challenge. When had there been a time when someone had complete trust in her ability to handle a touchy situation?
Never, she realized with dismay. Her parents had always made it clear that because of her diabetes, there would always be some things she couldn’t do. No matter how much she wanted to prove otherwise.
All the fighting, all the heartache of trying to prove she was more than what they said she could be, all the dreams and goals she’d set for herself, despite their disapproval, had led her to this moment. This moment when she could prove to herself that she could do all the things she’d always believed in her heart she could. And Stoney believed in her.
As Dolly rose up from the surface of the water, she realized the horse was no longer swimming. A giddy laugh escaped her as they reached the bank and Dolly began clopping out of the water. As Melanie’s boots touched the rocks on the outer bank, she released her grip on the saddlehorn and fell back into the current, laughing.
With quick strides, Stoney rushed into the water after her. He wrapped his strong arms around her, lifting her waterlogged body until she was pressed firmly against him. They stood knee deep on the water’s edge, staring into each other’s eyes. Little drops of water were still beading down the side of his face and dropping from the edges of his cowboy hat. She kept laughing, and finally she saw his mouth stretch into a deep dimpled smile.
“I did it,” she said, feeling weak in her knees from the cold and from the knowledge of what she’d accomplished. To anyone else, it may have been a small feat. But to Melanie, it was if she’d been set free from a vise that had taken hold of her long ago.
Stoney didn’t let her go. His wet body pressed against hers and she felt the rise and fall of his chest against her wet breast. She felt his heat beneath the cold, drenched clothes. And she saw pride shining in his eyes.
“I never had a doubt you would, Sunshine.” His gaze dropped to her lips and she couldn’t help but lick them in anticipation of what he’d do. She suddenly felt invincible. Dangerous. And she was ready
for whatever surprises Stoney had for her.
* * *
“Don’t look.”
“I’m not looking.”
Melanie rustled the branches of the small pine tree she was hiding behind. Despite the light from the moon, in the darkness Stoney couldn’t see her.
“Yes, you are,” she said, sounding thoroughly annoyed. “Now close ‘em.”
Stoney rolled his eyes, then obediently shut them tight, fighting the overwhelming urge to sneak a peek. “Oh, for God’s sake, you have your underwear on. A bikini shows more than your drawers.”
“Excuse me? I don’t wear drawers,” she said just as he heard the splash and felt the hot water slosh around him. “Oh, this is heavenly. Let’s never leave.”
“Fine by me,” Stoney said, popping his eyes open. It took a second for his eyes to adjust to the darkness again, but his sight zeroed in on Melanie’s body just a few feet away from his. The hot spring they’d found and decided to camp by was the perfect ending to the day. It wasn’t until he’d sunk deep into the hot pool of water that some of the tension plaguing him eased.
The fact that Melanie was just a body’s length away, donning nothing but her sweet underthings, was wreaking havoc with his body.
He leaned back on the boulder and let the hot water seep into his bones, looking at the millions of stars dotting every inch of the sky.
“Makes you feel small, doesn’t it?” Melanie said.
“Yeah.”
“Out here, all those things that seemed so important back home don’t matter as much.”
He glanced over at Melanie, who was swimming too far away from him, he decided. As she came closer, he could see her face in the light of the moon. Her wet hair was slicked back and she wore no makeup. She’d abandoned that ritual on the second day of trailing. Even without the glitter and paint, she was beautiful, making him wonder why she bothered to wear makeup at all. There was something soft and pure, unpretentious, when she was just being herself.
Nothing But Trouble Page 9
