“But we haven’t talked about you,” said Robin, her dead parents and high school boyfriend apparently back into their boxes, lids sealed. “I haven’t heard a word about Kenny. How is he?”
“Let’s talk about that next time,” said Grace, reaching into her purse for her wallet. “Lunch is on me today.”
On the way home, Grace retold the story of her grandparents’ and father’s death to Bradley’s voice mail. She wanted him to know, but she didn’t want to discuss it with him. If he had picked up, she would have talked about her mother instead of her dead relatives. But he hadn’t, which left Grace free to leave him a quick synopsis, capped by a request that Bradley not ask her about it that evening. If she wanted to talk about it, she’d bring it up, she said, laying a verbal layer of fresh sod over the graves of Rick, Laurie, and Bryan. And it wasn’t just Bradley she didn’t want to talk about her grandparents and father with, it was also Dorrie; she didn’t even want to talk to Shannon. Was this because she wasn’t sad about their passing and felt that she should be, or was it because she did feel the loss, if only in a way that she couldn’t articulate? Or maybe it was because she felt nothing at all. In a small way, she wished she could see Laurie and Rick again, or, rather, that they could see her, see how far she had come. Or, perhaps they would point to Hope as evidence that Grace, like their daughter, Robin, had amounted to little more than an easy lay.
CHAPTER 48
Grace told Bradley when he asked her about taking a vacation, just the two of them, that she couldn’t go right now because she was breastfeeding Hope. She would love to go somewhere in late September or early October, she countered, when the weather would still be nice and when Hope would be drinking from a bottle and eating solid foods. At six-plus months, Hope would be easier for Bradley’s parents to babysit. Grace would be back at work by then, but they could plan a long weekend away, giving them three days and three nights together. Bradley seemed appeased by this suggestion, even though Grace couldn’t imagine leaving the baby for that amount of time. She hadn’t left her for more than an hour or two since she was born, in spite of the advice she had read in more than one parenting magazine, that this unbroken attachment was unhealthy. She needed to get out, but she didn’t know how to do it.
* * *
The answer presented itself when Bradley offered to be with Hope one Saturday so that Grace could get out of the house, have some adult time with Shannon. It hadn’t occurred to Grace to ask Bradley to do this, to leave her baby for a six-hour stretch. She quickly accepted, knowing the arrangement would be good for both of them.
“What do you want to do?” asked Shannon on the phone the night before.
“Anything,” said Grace, who was feeling both guilty and giddy about leaving Hope.
“Let’s shop the holiday sales,” said Shannon. “I know you hate shopping, but I don’t. And you and your fabulous taste can help me find the perfect outfit for July Fourth. Did I tell you that Jackson invited me to his family barbecue?”
“You most definitely did not,” said Grace. “You do know what meeting the family means, right?”
“It means he wants me to meet his family.”
“Because he’s wildly in love with you.”
“He’s sometimes wildly in love with me, which is very good news, since that’s exactly the way I feel about him.”
“When does he get to meet your crazy family?”
Shannon laughed. “That would be such a deal breaker in these early days!”
“Sooner or later, Shannon, you’re going to need to take that man home.”
“Later,” said Shannon. “I’ll pick you up at ten tomorrow morning.”
* * *
On Saturday morning, while Bradley ran, Grace fed Hope, pumped a bottle of breast milk, and wrote out two pages of notes, detailing the morning and afternoon schedule, as well as the games Grace had been playing with her. When Bradley emerged from the bathroom after his run and shower, Grace suggested that, after Hope’s morning nap, he take her for a walk in the stroller. She added that Hope also loved the car, which seemed to soothe her if she got fussy. And, even though it was written down, she told him he would need to give her a bottle. “Everything you need to know is on the notepad on the kitchen counter,” said Grace. “If you have any issues or questions, no matter how small, feel free to call me. My cell phone is fully charged.”
“Grace,” said Bradley, sitting on the couch with the TV clicker in his hand. “I live here, remember? I know how to take care of our daughter.”
“I know. I know,” said Grace. “I’m just so nervous about leaving her for this long.”
“She’ll be fine. We’ll be fine,” he said. “Are you ready to have a good time with Shannon, to be Grace again?”
“I am,” she said. “Thanks for giving me this time away.”
“It’s my pleasure,” he said, turning his attention to the TV, to the sports channel.
* * *
When Shannon arrived, Grace bolted out the door of the house and into the passenger seat of Shannon’s car. She buckled her seat belt. “Drive, woman—go!” Shannon put the car in reverse and hit the gas, sending up a cloud of dirty dust in the driveway. Grace was laughing. “I feel like a fugitive.”
“In a good way, right?” asked Shannon, pulling out onto the road. “Have I not been telling you this for weeks?”
“You have been telling me for weeks, and every parenting magazine I’ve read has also told me to get out of the house. But I didn’t want to leave her before now.”
“Because you were worried about Bradley’s caregiving capabilities?”
“No,” said Grace. “Because I just didn’t want to leave her. But now that she’s a little bit older and a little bit more substantial, it feels okay.”
“Bradley will be okay?”
“Bradley will be okay.”
They parked the car on Main Street and walked into a women’s clothing boutique. “So, tell me about this barbecue,” said Grace. “Fancy, casual, or somewhere in between?”
“In between, I think,” said Shannon. “But I want to wear a dress. He tells me his mother is old-fashioned.”
Grace took Shannon’s arm and gently pulled her out of the store. “Lily Pulitzer is down the street,” she said. “Let’s go.”
* * *
Nothing on TV and too nice to be inside, a theory espoused by his mother when Bradley was a child, Bradley put up the umbrella on the back deck and plopped down into a chair underneath it. Eighty degrees and sunny, this was Bradley’s kind of morning. As soon as Hope awoke, he planned on putting her in the stroller and wheeling her around the back streets. He would avoid the main drag, where Grace and Shannon were shopping. It would be unfair, Bradley decided, to run into them in town. This was a day for Grace to be away from the baby. Bradley took his phone out of his pocket and posted his babysitter status on Facebook and posted a view of the beach on Instagram, with the caption #Babysitter’s Paradise. And then he played games on his phone while he waited for a response. Hope had fallen asleep right after her feeding, and she had not made a sound since. Bradley glanced at the video baby monitor on the table next to him and could see Hope in her new crib, snuggled into her sleep sack.
Within a couple minutes, his first notification popped up. It was from Rachel, who said she was in the area and wanted to know if he needed help. Bradley shook his head; he had meant to unfriend Rachel. He ignored her message and continued playing his game. Ten minutes later, she was standing on the ground beside the deck, looking up at him.
“Rachel?”
“Hi, Bradley,” she said in a cheerful tone. “I told you I was in the area,” she said, walking toward the steps to reach the deck, a bag in her hand.
“How do you know where I live?”
“Are you kidding?” Rachel asked, ascending the steps. “It’s the twenty-first century, Bradley. It’s easy to find out where people live. And because you are so special to me, I’ve made it my business to learn e
verything I can about you.” Bradley opened his mouth to say something, but Rachel beat him to it. “And I just so happen to keep beach essentials in my car all summer long, so I’m all set to hang out with you.” She was now standing over him. “Where can I change?”
He knew he should send her away. But he had been mourning, lately, the diminishment of the time he spent with his friends, with people his age. So, he was actually happy to see Rachel, to have someone to talk to about something other than a baby. They’d just talk, he told himself. What harm could that do?
And Bradley quickly decided that if Grace came home right now and found Rachel sitting on the deck with him, she wouldn’t be upset. She might think it was odd that Rachel was at their house. But if Bradley told her that Rachel did, indeed, just pop by, Grace wouldn’t care. She had already told Bradley that his friends were welcome anytime, that impromptu guests came with a house on the beach. And hadn’t they just talked the other night about hosting a work party? Because Rachel was a coworker, Grace would certainly understand and be okay with her presence, wouldn’t she?
“The bathroom is inside,” said Bradley. “Don’t wake the baby.”
Rachel opened the sliding door. “I won’t wake the baby, but I definitely want to see her before I go.” She disappeared inside. When she came back out five minutes later, she was wearing the skimpiest bikini Bradley had ever seen. Grace wore bikinis, but they were sporty in nature, with thick bands connecting ample fabric swatches. The fabric triangles on Rachel’s bikini were held in place with thin cording, tied in a bow that could just as easily be untied. Bradley swallowed.
“Do you like my suit?” she asked, standing in front of him.
“I guess.”
She leaned down in front of him and put her hands on the arms of his chair. “How much time do we have?”
Her breasts were inches from his face, from his mouth. He blinked. “Time for what?”
She covered his mouth with hers, and then pulled away, laughing. He was breathless. She untied the cord behind her neck and stood before him topless. Bradley shoved his chair backwards and stood. “Stop it! Tie up your suit, get your things, and get away from me!” He was panting now, the aftermath of a mental sprint.
She laughed again as she slowly lifted the suit back into place and retied it behind her neck. “I’m just having a little fun, Bradley. Don’t be such a party pooper.” She sat in a chair next to him.
Bradley stood. “I’m not a party pooper, Rachel. I’m a boyfriend with a baby. I need you to go.”
She closed her eyes. “Ten minutes,” she said. “It’s a beautiful day, Bradley. Let’s just sit here.” Bradley sat back down. He checked the monitor and saw that Hope was still sleeping.
Ten minutes later, Rachel did not announce her imminent departure. Instead she said, “I’m so hot. Do you want to go swimming?”
“I can’t,” said Bradley, reaching for the monitor on the table and showing it to Rachel. “The signal doesn’t go that far.”
“It looks like she’s sound asleep to me,” she said. “We’ll take a quick dip and be back here in two minutes.”
Sweat ran from Bradley’s hair down the sides of his face. He looked at the water and then back at the monitor. He popped up out of his chair and strode toward the steps, adjusting his bathing trunks on the way.
Rachel got out of her chair and jogged after him. He ran across the beach and dove into the water. Rachel dove in and surfaced right beside him. She reached up and wrapped her arms around Bradley’s shoulders and then jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. She pulled his head to hers and, again, kissed his lips. This time he responded, pulling her closer, urgently kissing her back. When she pulled away she said, “That’s better.”
Abruptly, he unwrapped her arms from his shoulders and pushed her legs off his waist. She stood next to him, looking up at him. He took a step backward and then said, “You have got to stop this. We have got to stop this.”
“Why should we stop what we both want?”
“I don’t want you.”
“Oh yes you do, baby. You want me so badly you can’t see straight.”
Bradley took another step backward. “I can’t want you.”
“Yes, you can,” she said, taking a step toward him. “We can work this out. You can have me anytime you want me.”
Bradley turned from her and raced out of the water. He jogged back across the sand to the deck and checked the monitor. Hope was still sleeping. It’s okay, nothing happened, he told himself. Nothing really happened.
When he walked back into the house to get a towel, Grace was coming in the front door.
“Whose car is in our driveway?” she asked.
“Grace! What are you doing here?” The words tumbled out of his mouth.
She smiled at him. “Like you told me before I left, I live here.”
He glanced outside, forcing a laugh. Rachel was on the beach, walking toward the house. “I didn’t expect you home this soon.”
“I forgot my wallet,” said Grace, on her way to the baby’s room. “I thought it was in my purse, but I left it in Hope’s diaper bag.” Grace hesitated at the closed door. “Is she still sleeping?”
“Yes,” said Bradley, looking out the sliding door, seeing Rachel climbing the stairs to the deck. Grace would surely see her. Bradley had to say something. “Rachel stopped by,” he said, as casually as if it were Kevin. “That’s whose car is here.”
Grace turned her neck to look at Bradley. “Who’s Rachel?”
“Rachel Spitzer from work. You know who she is, right?”
“Yes,” said Grace coolly. “She’s the young woman who lost the local brewery account when she came on to the owner.”
“What?”
“That’s privileged information,” said Grace. “Please keep it under your hat.”
“But I have to work with her now.”
“Yes,” said Grace. “Paul told me you might be a good mentor for her.”
Rachel came through the sliding door. “I told you that water would be incredible. Did you get me a towel, honey?”
Grace walked away from Hope’s door and into the center of the living room. She looked at Rachel with a calm face, but her arms were crossed over her chest and eyes were frosty. “Hello, Rachel,” she said.
“Grace—hello! I didn’t know you were here.” If Rachel felt at all awkward about being in Grace’s house with Grace’s boyfriend, she didn’t project it.
“Well, I am here,” Grace stated. “I live here. How are you?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “It’s such a beautiful day, and I was in the area, so I thought I’d stop by. I am absolutely shameless in my summertime stalking of people with beach houses. I keep a bathing suit in my car from June through September.”
“I see,” said Grace.
“But hey, I was just coming in to say my goodbyes. Thanks for the swim, Bradley. I’ll see you both at the office on Monday.” And without waiting for a reply, Rachel was on the other side of the sliding door and scurrying down the steps to the sand.
Bradley watched Rachel go and then looked back at Grace. He smiled at her, but it was a misshapen grin that broadcast its phoniness. Grace didn’t return it. “That didn’t look good, did it?”
“No, it didn’t. Do you have something to tell me, honey?”
“She calls everyone honey.”
“She’s never called me honey,” said Grace.
“Grace, you know what I’m talking about.”
“No, I don’t,” said Grace. “I can think of no reason why Rachel Spitzer would feel comfortable stopping by our house unannounced and uninvited, unless there is something happening between the two of you that I’m unaware of.”
Wishing he knew what to say, wishing that he were a better liar, Bradley said, “I think she has a crush on me.”
“I already figured that out, Bradley. What I don’t know is if you return the sentiment.”
“No, no I don’t. I absolutel
y don’t.”
“A rigorous denial.”
“Grace . . .”
“Look,” she said, “I’m going to go quietly into Hope’s room to get my wallet. And then I’m going to return to my lovely outing with Shannon. With any luck, Rachel and her car are already gone, and you can get back to the business of being an attentive father. And who was watching the monitor while you were swimming? Its signal doesn’t reach the water.”
“We swam separately,” said Bradley, a lie now traveling from his brain, over his tongue, and out his mouth as easily as if his statement were factual.
“Ah,” said Grace, who then disappeared into Hope’s room. She emerged less than a minute later with her wallet in her hand and the news that Hope was moving about in her crib. And without another word, Grace walked out the front door. Bradley was left alone; his free time had evaporated and his girlfriend was suspicious.
CHAPTER 49
“What do you make of that?” asked Grace.
“I don’t like it.”
“Me neither. But what do I do about it?”
“Zip me up, will you, Grace?” They were in a dressing room together. Shannon had tried on a dozen dresses in three stores and was still not satisfied she had found the right one for the barbecue. Grace had found three short-sleeved pullover tops that hid the twelve pregnancy pounds she still needed to lose and a stretchy skirt that fit her now and would also fit her when the weight was gone. Shannon looked at herself in the mirror, and then said, “You sit down tonight and talk to him.”
“And how do I do that without sounding like the possessive, jealous girlfriend?”
“First of all, you’re more than a possessive, jealous girlfriend. You are the mother of his child,” said Shannon. “You let him do most of the talking. Start by calmly asking him to explain what happened this afternoon. Either he’ll have a good explanation, or he’ll hang himself. Unzip me, Grace. This is too tight in the chest.”
“And if he hangs himself?”
“Well, then it will be your turn to talk.”
It Started in June Page 24
