Vixen helps a lot; that was also Dr. Moore's suggestion. Get a pet that relied on me, talk to said pet daily. It helps a lot to be able to voice how I feel and not be judged. Trying to explain to someone that I wasn’t happy and didn’t know why, well, that was extremely hard. The looks of pity have always made me mad. I don’t want pity; I just need someone to listen, to really hear me. The only people who do that get paid to do it. Therapist, so do they really matter? I don’t think they do when it comes to talking to a friend or a significant other. They are the ones that have to live with me. But could I do that? Could I open up to another person after being left behind like that? Or after my mother told me to just sweep it under the rug and forget about it?
Maybe one day it would happen, right now I felt happy, truly happy. But I felt terrible that I was delighted. Why? Because a man died today, he died because of my mother selling me to a man that I didn’t even want, barely even knew. We needed to do something for his family that he left behind. That was my last thought as I drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 19
Jag
I woke up and looked down at Chloe. Her head was on my chest, her chestnut hair spread over my shoulder. She was so damn beautiful, how in the hell did I get her to even give me a try I would never know. I knew she had some demons lurking down underneath that beautiful exterior. But what were they?
I could tell that she had anxiety, she freaked on me when I explained to her about what happened yesterday. She blamed herself. That pissed me off. Chloe wasn’t to blame, not in any of this. Just because she gave Thomas fucking Rivet the time of day or night, didn’t give him or Savannah the right to do this to her. I contemplated not telling her. Keeping her in the dark about all of this, but I couldn’t. She deserved to know what was going on.
Last night when I was watching her with the girls, I just knew that I could get over my no touching with her. When she touched my face, it felt so damn good. I didn’t have flashbacks, I didn’t even think of the asshole that tortured me for ten years. It was time to bury the hatchet and try and get over it.
I couldn’t believe that I stayed away from this Angel for so long. I should have just given in when I first talked to her in her backyard. I should have taken her right there on the patio furniture. I wanted to, damn did I want to. At the gala. Fuck she was perfect, even then I could feel it, I just didn’t want to taint her beauty with my ugliness.
I traced the lines of her cherry blossom tree. I knew its meaning. Life is beautiful, but it is also short. A sad reminder that we don’t have much time on this earth. To live life to its fullest. I wanted that, I wanted to live life to the fullest, and I planned on keeping her by my side as I did.
The more I dug around her past, the more I fell for this woman. I felt the need to protect her, the need to keep her from the ugliness of this world. She drew me in. I may have not lived next door to her, but I made sure she was safe. I had to. I just had to make sure she was safe. She took up space in my head, had Diablo tied in knots wanting to see Vixen again. I knew there was something about her. I just didn’t know what that kept bringing me back to her.
Now I know she is perfect in every way for me, she likes it rough when I give it. And she is caring when I need it. But what can I give her? Protection is what my specialty is. But what else? I feel like I am cheating her. I don’t want to be a taker, not from her. I want to give more to her. She deserves it. For all the good she does for others.
“Mornin’” Chloe brings me out of my thoughts. Looking down at her face, she has a smile and morning hair. Just perfection.
“Morning, babe. Sleep good?”
“Never better, you?”
“Slept all night, been a while.” It was true; I generally wake up several times a night from nightmares. Last night was the first time in a long while that I slept soundly, no dreams.
“Good to hear.” She ducked her head into my shoulder. Tilting her chin back up so I could see those dark pools, she had a smile on her face.
“You always wake up this beautiful?”
“Pft, I bet I look like the woman of the wilds.”
“Well, if this is the look of the woman of the wilds, then I am sold.” She doesn’t know how beautiful she is. Damn, that was cute, but I planned on making it my daily mission to tell her.
“I was thinking, a lot actually last night.”
“Guess I didn’t do my job then.” I joke with her.
“Aren’t you just funny? But seriously, I want to do something for the prospects family. I mean, I know it wasn’t my fault, but his family shouldn’t have to suffer because of all of it.” I blinked a couple of times, where the hell did she come from.
“God, your fucking perfect.” Kissing her lips, I got carried away and showed her just how perfect she was, she wet and ready for me. “Fucking perfect,” I tell her as I sink into her tight moist heat. Fucking hell, I had never gone bare before. She was the first for that one.
“Dax, baby, god, I’m…please, can I come?” hearing my name and baby in the same sentence did it for me.
“Fucking perfect, baby, come. Come all over my dick.” Nuzzling into her neck, I felt her pussy grip me to drain me dry, and I gave it to her. Unloaded all of my come deep inside her. I didn’t want to pull out, not yet. This was perfect, connected with my personal Angel. Moving her hair out of her face, I kissed her again for good measure.
“You’re the perfect one, Dax.” Her husky voice pulls me away from her lips.
“No babe ain’t nothing good about me. Got too many demons fighting daily to be perfect.”
“That’s what makes you good, Dax. You fight every day to keep going.”
“Yeah, and the one thing that I did fight on was keeping me from you. I shouldn’t have fought this for so long.” I knew I told her a few days ago why I fought it so damn hard. But fuck, I would hate myself for staying away for so damn long.
“You know what they say, those who wait to reap the rewards.” Cupping my face, she kisses my scar on my face. I want to pull away, but refuse to. She needs this, touch. I can deal with it. It’s the least I can give her.
“Come on, let’s shower woman. Got a big day today.” Her eyes get big for a second. “Not going to war just yet. Gotta check on some things, though.” She nods her head and smiles as I get up. When I give her my back, I can hear her gasp. I cursed myself for not covering up my back. It is also full of scars from the asshole. I refused to turn and see her pity. That is the last thing I want from her. Turning the water, I step into the shower and wait for her. Maybe she decided she didn’t want this after all. The shower curtain is pulled back hard. The look in her eyes is feral. She looks pissed, no pissed is too gentle a word for that look.
“He did that too?” giving her a nod. “If you don’t end him, then I will.” She seethes as she gets into the shower. My sweet Angel now resembles the Angel of death. Her eyes are wild, her lips curved into a sneer. I never once thought an angry woman was sexy, but fuck I was hard as shit watching her.
“You’d do that, huh?” I know I am poking the bear right now, but fuck was she sexy.
“Yeah, he doesn’t deserve to breathe. Not now, not ever. He needs to be in hell for what he did.”
“You want to send him to hell, babe?”
“Plan on it.” I wanted to know how she would do it. Never said I wasn’t a sadist, but shit, I had to know.
“How? How would you make sure he gets to hell?” I ask as I push her against the tile wall.
“You wanna know how?” her voice grows husky. Fuck if she isn’t getting turned on by this too. Fuck me now. Nodding, she continues as I kiss her neck.
“I want to carve his face up first with a dull blade, and then I want to make him bleed for days. Not minutes or hours, but days. I want him to suffer all of the pain and fear that he put you through.” Her words, the images that she puts in my head, make me groan.
“Fuck babe. You sure you aren’t an enforcer?” I tease her. She moans as I thru
st into her wet pussy. Fucking hell, we just had sex, and she is already ready for more. Wrapping her legs around me, one hand bracing against the wall, I use the other one to wrap around her throat. She moans and leans into my hand. I don’t last long, not this time. Not with her being so damn receptive. Seeing her slender throat lean into my grip did me in.
“You do this to me, babe. Make me lose control.”
“Is that so?” She asks while I am still inside her. The damn minx. “You gonna let me wash you? Get you ready to deal with shit today?” Closing my eyes, I let her down, but don’t get out of her space. I don’t want to meet with Blitz today. I want to stay right here with this woman. I let her wash my body and hair. It was the first time that I could remember since I was left to fend off my step-dad that anyone had touched me with such softness. “Thank you, Dax” I opened my eyes while I was under the spray to see her hands on my chest as she rinsed my body.
Cupping her face, I tell her the truth. “Babe, thank you. I didn’t know how much I missed being touched like this, until you. You helped me to break an ugly cycle. I know it’s early, probably too early, but Chloe, your mine. You aren’t going anywhere.”
She steps up and gets into my space. “You mean it?”
“Yeah, babe, mean it. Telling you the truth.” The tears throw me off; she throws her body at mine and wraps her arms around me, as she cries silently into my chest. Shutting off the water, I carry us, dripping wet to the bed. Brushing her hair out of her face, I hold her tight against me. I am thoroughly confused, she is crying, but her grip is tight on me. Like I am her lifeline right now. “Babe, please don’t cry. I’m sorry, please. What can I do?” I mummer into her ear. She is killing me with her tears; I don’t know what to do. Was it what I said?
“I-I’m sorry. Dax. It’s just, god.” She wipes her eyes as she pulls back. “The last person who wanted me was my dad.” My chest hurts again. I rub it this time to try and get the pain to go away. The pain subsides, but anger replaces it. Who wouldn’t want her, she is perfect.
“Chloe, who has hurt you so bad. Babe, give me a name.” I tell her in all seriousness. I mean it to; I will go after the asshole that hurt my woman.
She shakes her head. “Dax, no. It’s just good to hear, I guess. You kind of caught me off guard.”
“I promise, Chloe, every day, you will know without a doubt that I want you. Got me?” She was searching my face for something. I only hoped that she knew how serious I was. As long as we're together, I would make sure she knew that she was wanted and needed.
“Got you,” that smile was back on her face.
“Love that smile, babe.” Hearing myself, I cringed. Damn, I was getting sappy, sitting here naked with her in my arms. “Alright, time for me to get ready.” Glancing at my cell phone, it was after ten in the morning. Chloe glanced at the time and let out a gasp.
“Oh shit, I have to get to work. Crap, I severely overslept.” She scrambled off my lap and ran for her overnight bag.
“Babe,” she ignored me as she was putting her underwear on, hopping on one foot to get her pants on.
“Babe,” once she had her shirt on, she looked at me.
“Yeah.”
Shaking my head. “Babe, you’re not going in today. Too risky.” I could see the wheels turning in her head. I made my way to her. Cupping her face in my hands, I waited for the questions and the fight. I knew she was independent, but I needed her to be safe.
“But…”
“No, buts, you are staying here. You trust your people at the shelter?” I knew she did. Hell, they were running the shelter at storefront before she got there.
“Well yeah, but Dax, I haven’t missed a day since I have been here.”
“How’d you do it before?” I already knew she worked remotely. Doing her work online and through phone calls and shit.
“Remotely. But, Dax. I hate not doing anything.”
“Got ya, babe, understand it. But your safety is more important. Take the week off. By Monday, everything should be worked out.” She nodded but chewed on her lower lip.
“Can I, you know clean or something while you’re gone?” Kissing the top of her head, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
“Yeah, babe, or some shit. Cook if you want. Sure the other women could use the distraction too.” Turning to head to the door. I was ready to get this fucking day over with.
“Your still naked, Dax.” I looked down, she was right I was. Damn, how in the hell did I not know I had no clothes on?
“Good save, babe,” winking at her. I got dressed. Going commando today, no sense in wearing underwear. I didn’t have time for it anyway. We had to be at the bar by noon today. After I was dressed and ready to face this damn day. I gave Chloe a peck on the lips and told her to be good. That I would be back before she knew it.
Getting down to the Chapel, I found Brick sitting in the office with his baby girl. She wasn’t a baby anymore, more like a barely walking one-year-old. Izzy was beautiful, and sure as shit the club princess. Angie called that shit right last year.
“Dada,” Izzy told Brick.
“Yeah, I’m daddy,” Izzy wiggled around on Brick’s lap. “What, you want down?” Izzy nodded her head. She saw me and reached out to me. Picking her up, I held her over my head. She squealed and laughed. Then I put her down, she teetered back over to Brick and hugged his legs. Korey came in, and Izzy started in “Mama, dada, dada, mama.” While reaching for Korey. Korey had her on her hip, and the little shit reached for me again.
“Nuh-uh, little princess. Already gave you a ride.” She stuck out her lower lip, giving me the most prominent damn puppy eyes I ever saw. “Fine, fuck girl, you got me wrapped already.”
“Language, Jag. I don’t need her cussing before she is two.” Korey scolded me as I took my little princess from her.
“Not this little princess. You wouldn’t curse, would you?” she was watching my lips move. Taking in the sound of my voice. She laid her hand on my face and blew a raspberry on my cheek. Shaking my head, I handed her back to Korey.
“Baby, you be careful. We love you.” Korey gave Brick a kiss that I had to look away from. Korey left as the others filed in. Blaze had to get his kiss from Izzy before he came in.
“Damn, Brick, Seth and Izzy are growing too fast.” Stink told the room. We all agreed. We were going to have our hands full with that one. Keeping all of the horn dogs off her doorstep. But we would all do it gladly keeping that baby girl pure, keeping all of the kids safe.
“We ready to ride?” Brick motioned to Stink, who nodded his head. Being the road captain, it was Stink’s job to plan out the trip. Even if it was a simple run out of town to the bar. We still needed to know of any concerns we might run into.
“This meeting will get us some answers. Blitz seemed like he was ready for this sit-down. Let us be clear, gentlemen, we want peace. Tired of all of this petty bullshit. We got kids coming up. We are legit, but not pussies.” Brick laid it out for us. I knew I was ready for some peace. I enjoyed doing my job. But I would rather be in my woman's arms, than fighting with another club. Nods went around the table.
“Load up boys, let’s get this shit over and done with.” Brick stood up, and we followed out the door. The roar of the bikes starting up was deafening and soul-soothing at the same time. I was ready to get back to my room before we even left.
The ride to the dive bar was fast. When we got there, several bikes were already parked outside. With our past with the Grimm’s, we were right to be cautious. Diesel had found out that Blitz was the previous President’s son. There could be lots of bad blood, considering that we took out his old man and sister on the same night. My eyes were peeled, and I was ready for a fight if need be.
The bar was smoky and dim when we entered. Brick had made sure that the bar was only open to us and the Grimm’s. Blitz and his men were around a table. Blitz was tall and on the thinner side. His head was shaved, and an eight-ball tatted on the back of the head. His fa
ce resembled nothing of his father. He had a damned baby face. Blue eyes and thick cheeks. I tried to not stare and laugh.
“Brick, my man. Good to see you.” Blitz held out his hand to my Prez. I watched Blitz with a warning in my eyes. If an outsider had wondered in, it would have looked like a standoff. We were on one side of the bar, and the Grimm’s were on the other side, with both Presidents in the center.
“Listen, Brick. We don’t want any beef with your club. We are getting the club on the straight and narrow. No more blow.” Blitz smiled.
“What about the flesh business?” Brick brought it up. Blitz sighed a heavy sigh.
“That one is tricky. We have a few more months before we can back out. Contacts and all of that. But listen, the reason I called this meeting. I was broached by some suit.” At the mention of a suit, I stiffened. Shit, Diesel had mentioned something about Savannah and Thomas working with the Grimms. “He said you had something of his. Look, I don’t want any beef. I told him the same thing. I let him know that just because I did business with certain people didn’t mean I was going to steal a woman away that he bought. Just didn’t sit well with me.” I wanted to snort at that. He didn’t have a problem moving women for the cartel. But he had a problem stealing one.
Chasing Demons (Angels and Sinners Book 3) Page 14
