“The baby definitely likes you,” she said, her fingers tracing Chad’s strong jaw. “He responds to your voice.”
Chad’s smile wobbled, and then he closed his eyes and swallowed.
“And I like you,” she added hastily.
“I like you too, even if I don’t get to be an uncle.”
He liked her? But she’d been certain he hated her.
“I want to assure you that I don’t want to trap your brother or use your family. It eats me alive that I owe them all so much, but I’m . . .” Terrified. “. . . going to pay them back. For everything. I promise.”
“I’m sorry I questioned your motives earlier.” He huffed a breath out of his nose. “I’ve become a touch cynical, it seems.”
She shook her head. She understood where he was coming from. She really did. “You have nothing to apologize for. And you can still be an uncle if you want. I’d love for you to be a role model for my son. No one said sharing DNA was a requirement for the job.”
His hands slid up her back, showing no signs of releasing his hold on her anytime soon.
“Sorry you had to see that. I don’t usually let myself fall apart.”
Chad thought that was falling apart? She could teach him a thing or two about falling apart.
“Lindsey?” Owen asked from the doorway. “Did you get lost?”
Chad leaned away and looked up into her eyes. Her heart stumbled over a beat. Even with all the bandages and bruises and scratches—or maybe because of them—he was the most handsome man she’d ever known. And even though he was currently bedridden, he was also the strongest.
Chad squeezed her hand and whispered, “I’m not ready to tell him about Josie yet. This is our secret.”
She nodded. It was only fair that she’d keep his secret since he was keeping hers.
He called out to his brother, “She came back for another visit. Can’t get enough of my good looks.”
That was closer to the truth than he realized.
“Must be nice to have two gorgeous women fighting over your attention,” Owen said as he crossed the room. He glanced around and quirked an eyebrow at Chad. “Where’s Josie? I figured you two would be smooching each other’s faces off by now.”
Chad rolled his eyes. “What kind of grown man uses the word smooching?”
Lindsey chuckled, at the same time spotting the object Chad had dropped. Resting between her feet was a diamond ring. Josie’s engagement ring? She stepped on it to keep it out of Owen’s sight.
“Sucking each other’s faces off then,” Owen said. “Did she leave?” He searched the room, as if he’d somehow missed seeing her.
“She went to the bathroom, but she’ll be back later,” Chad said.
“I can’t believe she’d leave you alone at a time like this,” Owen said. “We’ll wait until she gets back before we grab dinner.”
“I appreciate the gesture,” Chad said, “but I’m okay. Go get this starving woman some food. I can hear the baby’s belly growling as well as hers.”
Lindsey covered her rumbling belly with one hand.
“You can hear the baby’s stomach growling?” Owen promptly put his ear against Lindsey’s stomach. “That is so cool!”
Chad and Lindsey exchanged smirks over Owen’s head.
After a moment of listening, Owen said, “I can’t hear it over Lindsey’s grumbling.”
Chad smacked him on the head. “That’s a sign that you should feed her. Get out of here.”
Owen lifted his head but didn’t move toward the door. “I can’t stand the thought of you being here by yourself. I thought Josie—”
“Don’t worry about where she went,” Chad said, his voice rising. “She’ll be back when she gets back! Now get the fuck out of here.”
Owen blinked, obviously too stunned to respond.
Lindsey didn’t want to leave Chad alone either, even though he probably needed a moment to himself. “You can get takeout for us all,” Lindsey said, patting Owen’s arm. “I’m sure your brother has a craving for some food or another that he couldn’t get overseas.”
“I have been craving a meatball sub,” Chad said.
Lindsey’s stomach rumbled so loud, it made her blush. Her mouth watered, and she had to swallow before saying, “That does sound good.”
“I’m on it,” Owen said. “What kind of sandwich would Josie want?”
Lindsey had a knuckle sandwich she’d like to deliver to Josie’s face freaky fast.
“Same,” Chad said.
“I’ll be back,” Owen said in an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent. Apparently both brothers were fans. To Lindsey, Owen spewed a second impersonation, “Come with me if you want to live.”
“I’ll stay with Chad,” she said. “If that’s okay.”
“Is that okay with you?” Owen asked Chad.
Chad nodded but didn’t meet his eyes.
Owen patted his shoulder. “Hasta la vista, baby.”
“The Arnold routine is mine, little brother. Get your own bit.”
“No problemo.”
Lindsey snorted. “Well, one of you has to get a new routine. How many more Schwarzenegger one-liners can there possibly be?”
“Consider that a divorce,” Chad-Arnie said, the sadness gone from him now.
Owen-Arnie left the room to get their subs. When Lindsey was sure Owen was gone, she bent to retrieve the ring from beneath her foot, holding on to the bed rail to keep her balance. These days she felt more Humpty Dumpty than human.
“I’m going to have to get after that brother of mine for not keeping you fed,” Chad said.
“Owen treats me better than anyone,” she said. She lifted the ring—pinched between her thumb and forefinger. “What do you want me to do with this?”
“Flush it down the toilet,” he said.
“Are you sure? She might change her mind.”
“And I’m desperate enough to take her back, is that what you think?” His tone was a bit snippy. Lindsey tried not to take it personally.
“I hope not, but if you love someone, you can forgive them pretty much anything.” Unless she was referring to her parents forgiving her unplanned pregnancy. In their eyes she was no longer their daughter.
Chad sighed, plucking at the sheet covering his lap. “This has been coming for a while,” he said. “We’ve been drifting apart for years. I thought when we saw each other face-to-face, none of that would matter. That when the miles that had separated us for so long were no longer between us, that everything would go back to how it was before I left.” He snorted on a laugh. “I was stupid to believe that.”
“They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“Whoever says that has never been in a long-distance relationship.”
Maybe. Or maybe he’d just picked the wrong woman to be his wife. The fact that their relationship had been strained before Chad’s injuries made what Josie had done a little more forgivable.
On second thought, no, it didn’t. What that heartless hag had done had been completely unforgivable. Selfish. Josie’s method might have gotten the breakup over with quickly, but Lindsey thought it had been unnecessarily cruel. Then again, Lindsey had never been the type to yank off a Band-Aid. She’d always peeled them back real slow, trying to keep the pain to a minimum even if it drew it out to intolerable lengths.
“I’m going to flush this, then,” she said, giving the ring a shake for emphasis.
She started toward the small bathroom connected to his room.
“Wait!” he called after her. Her heart sank. “That’s a complete waste of money. Go hock it or sell it for its gold. I’ll split the money with you for your trouble.”
She wouldn’t take the money, but she did drop the ring into her purse. She’d get rid of this reminder of Josie for him even if she couldn’t do much about his thoughts of the woman.
Just as Lindsey got comfortable in the chair at Chad’s side, a nurse came into the room to check Chad’s vitals and peppe
r him with questions. Lindsey moved to the window to give them a little privacy, though she heard every word they spoke. The nurse performed her duty with the haste of a frozen snail—all looked good—and offered him a dose of morphine.
“How can I entertain my beautiful guest if I’m drugged out of my mind?” he asked.
“Don’t suffer on account of me,” Lindsey said, whirling around. “I can entertain myself.” She was sure just watching him sleep would be plenty entertaining.
“I’ll call you if I change my mind,” he told the nurse.
She left them after adjusting his pillows, and Chad patted the bed beside him. “I like when you sit here,” he said to Lindsey.
And she liked sitting there beside him, but she really wished he would rest more. Maybe he’d drift off to sleep while they watched TV together. The action movie they’d been watching was now over, and a sitcom had just started.
“I wish you’d rest,” she said.
“It’s not like I’m doing the Macarena over here.” He did demonstrate a few of the arm motions of the dance to make her laugh, but was soon wincing and massaging his shoulder.
He scooted across the mattress to give her space. The shift in position made him grit his teeth.
She wrung her hands. He was obviously in pain, and she couldn’t stand to see him hurting. “Maybe morphine is a good idea, Chad.”
He shook his head. “It makes me dream.”
“Nightmares?”
He nodded slightly and patted the now larger space beside him. “Sit, angel. Help me forget.”
Forget what? That he’d lost a leg? That his ex-fiancée was a horrible bit of slime who had left him alone? That his plans to be a career soldier had been cut ruthlessly short? She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to help him deal with any of those things, but she sat beside him, squished close against his side, and, after a moment of not really watching the episode of Friends she’d seen at least a dozen times, she took his hand. His palm and fingertips were bandaged, but she found a patch of bare, unmarred skin between his first and second knuckle and stroked him there with her thumb. She couldn’t concentrate on the television program or the commercials or even breathing. Her thoughts were racing, and Chad’s hard body against hers was more than a little distracting. His thumb stroked the back of her hand in what he probably thought was a soothing gesture, but it made her thighs tremble and her breath quicken. She tried blaming her undeniable attraction to him on her pregnancy hormones or Nightingale syndrome or the hot weather, but she didn’t think it was any of those things. She liked him as a person, and he was gorgeous. Why wouldn’t she think he was worth getting to know, including in the biblical sense?
Because he’s hurt, dummy. The last thing on his mind had to be having sex with some knocked-up woman his brother didn’t know what to do with.
“You smell nice,” Chad said quietly.
She tilted her head and stared dumbly since she couldn’t seem to work her tongue or vocal cords. His closeness had knocked the wind out of her.
He flushed, licking his lips before saying, “Sorry. It’s been a while since I’ve been with a woman.”
“Oh,” she said flatly. “It’s been a while since I’ve been with a woman too. A little over six months to be precise.”
His eyes widened, and his gaze snapped to her face. She couldn’t help but laugh at his dumbfounded expression.
“A onetime experiment. I prefer men.”
“My somewhat inappropriate thoughts about you have shifted into dangerous territory, angel.”
“You’re having inappropriate thoughts about me?” Lindsey asked, hoping he didn’t notice how damp her palm had become.
“Of course, I am. You’re kind and beautiful and sexy, so why wouldn’t I?”
He thought she was sexy? Even though she looked like a hippo in a blond wig? He was just being nice. Or he was desperate. Maybe he subconsciously wanted to get back at Josie for dumping him, and any woman would do for his revenge fuck. Not that he was up for sex. Or was he?
“I’m having inappropriate thoughts about you too,” she admitted quietly, and then she nudged him gently with her elbow. “Watch the show.” She tugged her hand free of his and rested it on his lap, hoping she could concentrate better without skin-on-skin contact.
“Well, that part still works,” Chad said with a miserable laugh.
“What works?” Her gaze drifted down to the rather impressive tent Chad was making in the covers over his lap. “Chad!”
“Sorry. I’m a disgusting pig. This is not the time or the place. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Nothing was wrong with him, apparently. She licked her lips nervously, and said, “I wish—”
“I hope you’re hungry!” Owen called as he barged into the room.
Lindsey instinctively reached out to cover Chad’s visually obvious predicament. At her touch, Chad groaned, his entire body shuddering.
“Sorry,” she said, half-falling out of the bed as she scrambled to get her hand off his dick and her feet under her. “It was an accident.” Which wasn’t exactly true. She’d done it on purpose, she just hadn’t thought through her actions. She pulled the wheeled bed tray over Chad’s lap while he stared at the ceiling and breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth.
Owen was immediately hovering over his brother, his brow twisted with worry. “What did you do to him, bump his leg?”
“My third leg,” Chad said breathlessly before he laughed. “She didn’t mean to.”
Maybe she had meant to touch him. She vividly remembered the feel of the hard length of his cock against her palm, and she was so hot and achy between her legs she had to sit down, cross her legs, and squeeze her thighs together to alleviate her arousal. What the fuck was wrong with her? Chad was injured. Chad was hurt. Chad was as turned on as she was.
Owen grinned at his brother. “Better get that hard-on under control before Josie gets back.”
“Josie’s not coming back,” Chad said, as if that fact meant nothing.
How could he recover from Josie’s rejection so quickly? Had Josie meant so little to him?
Owen’s eyebrows drew together. “An emergency or—”
“She dumped me, okay? Broke off our engagement and left.” Chad reached for the sack and pulled it from Owen’s grip. “Did you remember I like provolone on my sub?”
“Wh-what?” Owen sputtered.
“Cheese,” Chad clarified, peering into the bag.
Lindsey wasn’t sure if Chad was in denial over Josie or if he’d come to terms with their split already. He’d looked so devastated when she’d found him staring at the engagement ring in his palm. Surely, he hadn’t faked that. He couldn’t possibly be over the woman that quickly. Either he was completely heartless or an expert at burying his feelings. As she couldn’t bring herself to believe that he was incapable of emotion, she decided he was hiding what he truly felt. Did they teach him that in the Marines? She wasn’t sure if shutting off the ability to feel would be a gift or a curse. Most likely it was how he’d learned to cope.
“Yes,” Owen said, “they all have cheese. Did you say Josie dumped you?” Owen stuck a finger in his ear and wiggled it around. “I must be hearing things. You’ve been dating her since right after high school.”
“It’s probably time for a change, then.” Chad pulled a sub out of the bag and held it toward Lindsey. “Here, angel. This one’s for you.”
“Th-thanks,” she said, forcing herself from her chair and taking the few steps necessary to get her sandwich. She was careful not to touch him again, but he didn’t relinquish his hold on her food until she met his gaze. He winked at her, and she flushed, deciding it didn’t matter what had caused the shift in his mood. She was just glad he no longer looked like his world had ended.
She retreated to her chair and unwrapped her sandwich, using her belly as a very convenient, though sloped, table.
“Here’s yours, Owen,” Chad said. “And four for me.
Nice.”
“Two for each of us,” Owen said. “Because Lindsey can have Jo . . .” He swallowed and gave Chad a hard stare, as if expecting him to burst into tears. “Two for each of us,” he said again.
“We’ll see who gets through theirs first.”
Lindsey was already far ahead of both men and was looking forward to gorging herself on Josie’s sandwich out of spite.
Owen didn’t take his eyes off his brother as he sank into the second visitor chair. “Are you really okay with Josie splitting?” He glanced at Lindsey. “If you want Lindsey to go so we can talk in private . . .”
Lindsey immediately froze, the remaining half of her sub close to her mouth. She set the sub down and began to fold the wrapper around it.
“I don’t want Lindsey to leave. She settles me and completely unsettles me at the same time.”
Owen gave Lindsey an odd look before turning his attention back to Chad. “I’m not sure what to say.”
“Don’t say anything.”
“I’m sorry this happened. I never understood what you saw in Josie in the first place.”
“You liked her,” Chad said before biting into his sandwich.
“Well, I don’t like her now. Now I want to punch her in the eye.”
“If it makes you feel better, she was crying in the bathroom,” Lindsey said.
“Dying?” Chad asked with a hopeful expression.
“Crying,” Lindsey said.
“Then, no, I don’t feel better,” Chad said. “But, seriously, fuck her.”
So Chad was feeling something about being dumped. Lindsey just couldn’t read what those feelings were. Hurt? Anger? Betrayal? That was what she’d be feeling. Not acceptance. Never acceptance. But Chad seemed so calm. So unaffected. It had to be the Marine in him that allowed him to retain his cool. Lindsey knew that she’d have been a complete wreck for weeks or months—maybe even a lifetime—under the same circumstances. She’d always had a hard time letting go of emotional trauma. Of betrayal. That was why she hadn’t spoken to her once best friend Vanessa since she’d joined the National Guard and left Lindsey to fend for herself in Idaho.
Love Me Page 5
