by Nancy Krulik
Table of Contents
Dedication
Copyright Page
Title Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
About the Author
About the Illustrator
For Kathie Berlin, who loves swimming and a good laugh—NK
For Auntie Carm—a continuing inspiration in her 99th year—AB
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Text copyright © 2011 by Nancy Krulik. Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Aaron Blecha. All rights reserved. Published by Grosset & Dunlap, a division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 345 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014. GROSSET & DUNLAP is a trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Printed in the U.S.A.
Library of Congress Control Number: 2010040830
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Chapter 1
George Brown stared at his computer screen. Louie had invited him to his birthday party. That was weird. Really weird. Because Louie hated George
From George’s very first day at Edith B. Sugarman Elementary School, Louie had let him know that they were never going to be friends . . . ever. Louie still sometimes called George “New Kid”—like he couldn’t be bothered remembering George’s real name.
Louie had also gotten George in trouble with the cafeteria lady—the big, scary cafeteria lady—just for sneezing in the middle of lunch. Apparently Louie didn’t like snot anywhere near his food. He’d also thrown George out of a rock band for no reason except that he could.
No doubt about it, Louie really didn’t like George. And George really didn’t like Louie, either. So they were even.
Of course, that didn’t mean George was going to miss Louie’s party. George might not have liked Louie, but he sure liked water parks.
George didn’t want to give Louie a chance to take back his invitation, so he quickly typed an e-mail back saying that he would come.
I’ll be at your party. Thanks for inviting me.
—George
George didn’t even have time to blink before a new e-mail flashed on his screen. It was from Louie.
I only invited you because my mom made me invite everyone in the grade. You better not have one of your weirdo freak-outs at my party.
—Louie
P.S. Tyler’s Toy Shop has a list of the stuff I want. That way you won’t get me something really lame.
Oh brother. Louie was the lame one. Still, George understood what Louie meant by “weirdo freak-outs.” George had been doing a lot of really strange stuff ever since he moved to Beaver Brook.
But it wasn’t really his fault. It was the super burp’s fault.
It had all started on George’s first day at Edith B. Sugarman Elementary School. George’s family had moved—again. That meant George was the new kid—again.
This time, though, George had promised himself that things were going to be different. He was turning over a new leaf. No more pranks. No more class clown.
But new George was also boring George. At the end of that first day, nobody even seemed to know he existed. It was like he was invisible George.
That night, George’s parents took him out for dessert to cheer him up. While they were sitting outside at the ice cream parlor and George was finishing his root beer float, a shooting star flashed across the sky. So George made a wish:
I want to make kids laugh—but not get into trouble.
Unfortunately, the star was gone before George could finish the wish. So only part of it came true—the first part, about making kids laugh.
A minute later, George had a funny feeling in his belly. At first he thought it was because of the root beer float. It was like there were hundreds of tiny bubbles bouncing around in there. They ping-ponged their way into his chest and bingbonged their way up into his throat. And then . . .
George let out a big burp. A huge burp. A SUPER burp!
The super burp was loud, and it was magic.
Suddenly George lost control of his arms and legs. It was like they had minds of their own. His hands grabbed straws and stuck them up his nose like a walrus. His feet jumped up on the table and he started dancing the hokey-pokey. Everyone at the ice cream parlor started laughing—except George’s parents, who were covered in ice cream from the sundaes he had knocked over.
That wasn’t the only time the super burp had burst its way out of George’s belly. There had been plenty of magic gas attacks since then. And every time the burp came, trouble followed. George never knew when a burp would strike or what it would make him do. Like juggle raw eggs in his classroom (which would have been fine if George actually knew how to juggle).
The super burps even followed George to the fourth-grade field day. One burp made George bark like a dog and lick the principal’s hand.
The last thing George wanted was for the super burp to start bubbling over on Louie’s birthday. George didn’t know what Louie would do if George ruined his party.
And he didn’t really want to find out.
Chapter 2
“Hi, George. Where are you going?” George’s best friend Alex asked him when the boys ran into each other near the park later that Saturday morning.
“Mr. Furstman’s pet shop,” George said. “I promised I’d be there by noon today.” George worked at the pet shop every Saturday. He liked being around the animals. George didn’t have a pet. His dad was allergic to just about everything but fish. And fish didn’t really count as pets.
Alex looked down at his watch. “It’s only eleven,” he said.
Alex was the only kid George knew who wore a watch. Most kids just stopped some grown-up and asked what time it was—when they even cared what time it was.
But Alex’s watch was definitely cool. It lit up at night, and you could wear it if you went deep-sea diving—not that Alex had ever done that. Alex was more the kind of kid who would wear nose p
lugs to go underwater in the bathtub. Not that Alex wasn’t cool. He just wasn’t into doing any kind of sporty stuff. He was more a science and math kind of guy.
“I’m going in early because I ran out of stuff to do,” George said. “And my mom was yelling at me to turn off the TV. What are you up to?”
“Breaking a world record,” Alex said.
George stared at him. What a weird answer.
“You know, like in the book,” Alex explained.
George knew exactly what Alex was talking about: the Schminess Book of World Records. It was filled with pictures of people who had broken all sorts of records —like being the person with the longest toenails or plucking a turkey the fastest or eating the most cockroaches in one sitting. George had bought the same book at the school bookfair the week before. Pretty much all the boys had.
Alex reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic bag. Inside was a big, round gray blob.
“What’s that?” George asked.
“It’s the start of my world record–breaking ABC gum ball,” Alex explained.
“What’s ABC gum?” George asked him.
“Already been chewed,” Alex said. “I’m collecting pieces of chewed gum and sticking them together. The world record is a wad with a four-foot diameter. It weighs seventy-seven pounds and twelve ounces. I’m going to keep collecting used gum until this ball is even bigger.”
“Wow! Go for it, dude!” George said, high-fiving Alex. If Alex really could break the world record for collecting ABC gum, he would get his name and his picture in the Schminess Book of World Records. It would be amazing to have a world-famous friend. Almost as amazing as being world-famous himself.
Of course, Alex still had a long way to go. His wad of gum was currently only about the size of a baseball. Still, it must have taken a lot of chewing to even get it to that size.
“You chewed all that gum?” George asked.
Alex shook his head. “Nah. Just some of it. The rest I got other places—like on the sidewalk or under some desks at school. You’d be surprised where people stick ABC gum. I even found some in a bathroom stall at a diner.”
“Come on,” George told Alex. He started walking down the street. “Let’s hit the newsstand. I’ll buy a pack of gum. I’ll chew it up real good and give it all to you.”
“You’re a good friend, George,” Alex said. “Thanks.”
“I bet you’ll be the first kid from Beaver Brook to get in the Schminess Book of World Records,” George told Alex.
“I don’t know,” Alex said. “Maybe.”
As Alex and George walked to the newsstand, George began to think about what record he could break. He didn’t want to grow his toenails really long because then he’d have to get all new shoes, and George hated shoe shopping. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out what it felt like to have a cockroach crawling down his throat and into his stomach. He had eaten worms once—the burps made him—and they hadn’t tasted so great.
In fact, the only thing George could think of that could be world record–worthy were his burps. And George didn’t want to break that kind of record!
When the boys reached the newsstand, George counted the change in his pocket to buy a big pack of Super Bubble Bubble Gum.
“Dude, there are ten pieces in there,” Alex said. “Want me to chew half of them?”
“Sure,” George said. He opened the pack of Super Bubble Bubble Gum. Then, suddenly, he felt a fizzy feeling in the bottom of his belly. His eyes bulged.
George had felt those fizzies flip-flopping around in his belly before. They could only mean one thing: The super burp was back, and it wanted to come out and play!
It had been over a week since his last burp, and it felt like this one was making up for lost time. Already it was ping-ponging its way out of George’s belly and bing-bonging its way into his chest.
This could be really ba-a-ad!
George had to squelch the belch. Fast! So he did the first thing that popped into his head. He shoved pieces of bubble gum into his mouth and started chewing as fast as he could. Maybe the gum could block the burp and stop it from getting out of his mouth.
“George, you okay?” Alex asked him.
George didn’t answer. He shoved in more gum and kept on chewing. But the super burp was powerful. All the gassy air blew straight into the wad of chewed gum. First it was a small bubble. Then a medium-sized bubble. Then a massive, gigundo-sized bubble that was as big as George’s head.
“Whoa! This could be a recordbreaking bubble!” Alex said.
And then . . .
Whoosh! George felt the air rush right out of his belly. It was like someone had popped a bubble gum bubble inside of him. The super burp had disappeared. Hooray!
Pop! Suddenly, the air rushed right out of the massive, gigundo bubble gum bubble. Pieces of bubble gum were stuck all over George’s face—his lips, his hair, even up his nose.
George picked a huge glob of gum out of his hair and held it out to Alex. “Here. You want this?”
“Um . . . I don’t know,” Alex said. “I’m not sure if hairy ABC gum counts.”
“Yeah,” George agreed. He dug his finger up his nose and pulled a glob of gummy, pink gunk from his nostril. “Guess you don’t want this, either,” he said.
“I better not,” Alex answered. “I don’t want to take a chance that I could be disqualified.”
George had a feeling he was going to be picking gum off his face and hair for the rest of the day. And none of it was going to be part of Alex’s ABC gum ball.
What a waste. Stupid super burp.
Chapter 3
On Monday morning, the whole fourth grade was talking about Alex’s ABC gum ball.
“I saved you some of my organic spearmint gum,” Sage told Alex. She pulled a small plastic bag out of her backpack. “The minute George told me what you were doing, I wanted to help.”
Alex shot George a strange look because it was hard to believe that George would tell Sage anything. Sage had a crush on George. She made him crazy.
“She was in the pet store buying bird food and heard me telling Mr. Furstman about you,” George explained to Alex. “I was talking about the ABC gum ball with him. She just overheard.”
“So many colorful birds came to the feeder in our yard this weekend,” Sage told George. She batted her eyelashes up and down and gave him a big smile. “You recommended just the right stuff.”
George shrugged. “It’s the only birdseed Mr. Furstman sells.”
“Well, it was still perfect,” Sage said.
“I’ve got three globs of gum for you,” Chris told Alex. “My mom said it was gross to save ABC gum, so I kept them under my bed. But don’t worry, I pulled off all the dust bunnies.”
“Thanks,” Alex said. He took the globs of gum and stuck them onto his ball.
George was impressed. The ABC gum ball was definitely bigger. Alex had added a lot of gum since Saturday morning.
Just then, Louie strutted onto the playground. His friends, Mike and Max, were right behind him—like always. George called them the Echoes.
“I bet you guys are all deciding what to get me for my birthday,” Louie said. “Don’t stop talking just because I’m here. I already know what’s on the list.”
“He knows because he wrote the list,” Mike said.
“It’s a great list,” Max added.
Louie smiled. “I hope someone gets me the night-vision goggles,” he said. “And I’d really like that portable popcorn maker. It’s the third item down on my list. You can’t miss it.”
“Actually, we’re talking about Alex,” George told Louie. “He’s going to break a world record.”
“For what? Having the geekiest friends?” Louie asked.
Mike and Max both laughed.
“At least Alex has friends,” George said.
Mike and Max stopped laughing.
“Louie has friends,” Max said.
“Yeah,” Mike added. “W
hat are we?”
George started laughing. “You don’t really want me to answer that, do you?”
Just then, Julianna came over. She walked right past Louie and started talking to Alex. “I want to interview you for my sportscast this morning.”
“Why him?” Louie asked. “Alex stinks at sports.”
Edith B. Sugarman Elementary School had its own TV station—WEBS TV. Julianna was the fourth grade’s sportscaster.
“I want to interview Alex about his ABC gum ball,” Julianna explained.
“Since when is collecting used gum a sport?” Louie asked.
“Going for a world record means you are competing for a title,” Julianna explained. “And sports are all about competition.”
George grinned. She had Louie there.
“Alex, now everyone in the school is going to hear about your ABC gum ball,” George said. “They’re all going to give you their used gum. You’ll break the record in no time!”
Chapter 4
Even though Louie was a jerk, George still had to buy him a birthday present. So George and his mother went to Tyler’s Toy Shop right after school. Alex came with them.
“Louie’s list is really long,” Alex said. He held up the two-page printout Mr. Tyler had given them. “How many presents does he think he’s going to get?”
George shrugged. “I guess he’s giving everybody a choice.”
George’s mom picked up an art kit. “What about this?”
