by Clare Revell
“He won’t turn up for medicals. He’ll do all he can to avoid post-mission checks. And as for shots? You can forget it. I’m thinking he’s afraid of needles, but won’t admit it. Just don’t tell him I told you that. You finished with the tea?”
Lou nodded.
“Want some more?”
She shook her head.
“OK.” Dr. Andrews picked up the cup and took it away. She returned with a wheelchair. “Care to go for a ride?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“No. This time, we’ll lift you out of the bed, but tomorrow you’ll learn how to get into and out of the chair yourself. That way, you’ll get some independence back.” Dr. Andrews put the brakes on the chair and pulled back the covers. She disconnected the morphine pump.
Lou didn’t even get time to open her mouth to object before the medic lifted her and put her in the chair. She bit her lip as pain soared through her thigh and she averted her gaze from the stump where her lower leg used to be.
Dr. Andrews put a blanket round Lou’s legs. “Airman Ryder will take you out. He’ll also show you how to wheel yourself.” She attached the drip to the chair. “See you later.”
Airman Ryder pushed Lou out of the infirmary. “Where to?” he asked.
“You’re driving,” Lou told him.
“You’re navigating.”
“I don’t know where anything is. I haven’t left the infirmary since I got here.” She paused, pointing to the door. “How about we go that way?”
Airman Ryder chuckled. “That’s a great help. There must be something on the base you want to see.”
Lou waited a moment, not wanting it to be too obvious she was keen to get outside. “Then go out of the door and turn left. Can we go and find the runway? We could watch the planes come in and take off.”
“I can’t do that, because it’s a restricted area, but we’ll find somewhere nice to sit in the sunshine.”
Airman Ryder pushed her down the corridor and to the lift. They went to the ground floor and outside where the sun shone brightly and the breeze ruffled Lou’s hair.
Lou sucked in a deep breath, trying not to show how good it was to be in the fresh air and out of the horrid clinical, antiseptic environment of the infirmary.
Airman Ryder pushed her slowly across to the base shops, explaining how to push herself. He parked the chair under a tree overlooking the car park.
Lou sighed. This guy had a strange definition of “somewhere nice” but she wasn’t going to argue with him. Jack waved at her from across the car park. She nodded to him, trying not to smile as he jogged over to her.
“Hi, Lou. How are you doing?”
Lou shrugged. “I’m here. How are you?”
“I’m here as well,” Jack replied. “So that makes three of us. Couldn’t you find a nicer view though?”
Lou rolled her eyes. “I’m not driving,” she deadpanned. “I’m just going where I’m pushed. Airman Ryder chose the parking space.”
Airman Ryder said, “Doc Andrews wanted to see you when you got back, sir.”
Lou looked at him. “Must be nice to be wanted.”
“That’s why they call me Mr. Popularity.” Jack smiled. “Would you like to get some lunch later, Lou?”
“I’ll see if I can fit you into my busy schedule.” She tilted her head. “You know, between tests and more tests and watching cars drive across the tarmac and park between white lines.”
Jack shook his head. “Better go and see the doc. Don’t have too much fun out here.”
“No chance of that,” Lou told him. “Have fun with Dr. Andrews. Mind she doesn’t give you a toothbrush.”
He gave her a funny look, but she didn’t bother explaining.
Instead, she reached down to scratch her leg and then sighed as her hand met nothing but air. That was going to take some getting used to.
12
Lou watched Jack’s retreating figure as he headed back across the grass to the main building.
“Do you want something to drink?” Airman Ryder asked.
Lou shook her head. “No, I’m fine. I had some tea just before we came out. Maybe later though.”
“Nice view of the car park,” Staci said.
Lou hadn’t even heard her walk up. Ailsa arrived next, with Jim hanging back.
“Seen one car, you seen them all,” Lou answered. “And no one can park in one attempt either.”
They sat in silence. Then Ailsa tried. “We’re off to the beach. The Kirks are meeting us here. Jim’s going to teach me how to play volleyball. Do you want to come?”
“I’ve never been any good at volleyball. ’Sides, they wouldn’t let me today. Sand and raw wounds aren’t a good combination. Nor are wheelchairs and sand, come to think of it.”
Jim nodded. “Maybe next time then.”
“Yeah, maybe.” Lou sucked in a deep breath. “Though I thought you’d have had enough of beaches and sand by now.”
Staci shook her head. “I can never have enough of beaches,” she said. “Volcanoes and escorts, on the other hand...” She winked at Sergeant Peterson.
He chuckled. “Cheeky beggar, aren’t you?”
Lou raised an eyebrow. That didn’t sound very American to her.
“Staci’s determined to teach me what she terms ‘proper English,’” he said dryly.
Jim looked up and waved at one of the parked cars. “Mum and Dad are here. C’mon, let’s go. You sure you don’t want to come, Lou?”
She nodded. “I’m sure. Thanks for asking though.”
He stood up, pulled Staci to her feet, and grabbed Ailsa’s hand. “Better not keep Mum and Dad waiting. We’ll see you when we get back. Have fun.” They moved away, Sergeant Peterson and Staff Sergeant Chaney moving in to escort them.
Staci looked back. “Bye, Lou,” she called.
Lou raised a hand in a halfhearted wave. “Bye.” She watched them go and sighed. Why did things have to get so complicated all of a sudden? And why did everyone keep on telling her to have fun when she’d been parked in the most boring place on the base? No, make that the most boring place on the face of the planet.
She let her hand fall over the edge of the chair and ran her fingers over the brake lever. How difficult would it be to push the chair herself? It hadn’t sounded too complicated when Airman Ryder explained it, but then neither had simultaneous quadratic equations in her maths class. And they were impossible.
She lifted her face to the sunshine and watched as a plane flew in low over the base, heading to the runway. She wasn’t dying. The thought resounded round her mind.
She wasn’t dying.
But was the chair an improvement? Could she ever come to terms with how fast things had changed? Perhaps given time, she could. And let’s face it, time was now something she had plenty of.
The wind ruffled her hair and she pushed a hand through it, wishing she had a hairband to tie it back with.
Another airman came across and sat next to Airman Ryder. They struck up an animated conversation, both men sitting with their backs to her.
Maybe she should try pushing this chair on her own. How had Dr. Andrews termed it? Getting her independence back, wasn’t it? She pulled the brake lever back and, putting her hands on the wheels, pushed them. The chair moved slightly. Hmmm, easier than it looks.
She pushed against the wheels and moved the chair away from the trees, across the grass. Not going far, just want to get the hang of this. Show off to Dr. Andrews when I get back inside. She’ll be stoked. She went a little farther, then looked over her shoulder at the way she had come.
Airman Ryder was still busy talking and hadn’t noticed she’d gone.
Question was, how was she going to get back up the slope to him? She had no idea how to turn the chair around and her pride wouldn’t allow her to call him for help. Besides, he’d probably think she was running away again or something stupid like that and just yell at her.
Maybe she should head over to the parkin
g area. Once on the tarmac, it might be easier to do a three-point turn and hopefully she’d be back before he’d noticed she’d gone.
Her hand caught in the wheel and Lou yanked hard. Pain shot through her fingers as her hand finally came free. She rubbed it and realized it felt different. Glancing down, she discovered blood trickling down from the needle mark in the back of her hand. “Idiot,” she told herself. “You pulled the drip out. The doc ain’t gonna be stoked now.”
She glanced over the side of the chair. The IV lay on the ground. “How’d you manage that?” Shaking her head, she reached down and put the brake on. Then she leaned over the side of the chair in an effort to pick up the IV bag.
The ground was a lot farther away than it looked. Lou leaned farther and the chair tipped, sending her toppling to the ground. She cried out in pain as she hit the ground with a thud. The chair landed beside her and she lay there, unable to do anything.
Tears of frustration and pain filled her eyes.
“Lou!” Jack’s voice came from somewhere behind her.
Great. Just what I need. He’s bound to take this the wrong way and yell at me now.
Pounding feet reached her and shiny black shoes appeared in her field of vision. “Are you hurt?”
“No. Just having a rest,” she snapped, rubbing a hand over her eyes. “I thought I’d see the car park from a different angle.”
“Very funny. Don’t move till Doc Andrews gets here.”
Lou looked up at him. “Why?” she asked, wondering why his dark eyes glinted in a mixture of anger and concern.
“Do you really need to ask? You could have undone all her hard work,” Jack replied angrily. Footsteps came running from all directions. Jack held up his hand. “It’s OK. I’ve got her.” Someone stood up the chair.
Lou tried to roll over and sit up. “Put me back in the chair,” she whispered, blinking back the tears. “Not lying here listening to this…”
Jack pushed her back down. “Don’t you dare move.”
Dr. Andrews came running across with her med bag.
Jack said, “Let the doc make sure you’re OK. Then you and I are having a conversation. Over lunch.”
Lou looked away. She wasn’t going to be lectured for something she didn’t do. She wasn’t running away. She’d been there, done that, and had the scars to prove it.
Jack squatted down in front of her. “We are having...” he began.
Lou looked away again, wincing as Dr. Andrews re-sited the drip.
Jack took her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. “We are having this conversation whether you like it or not. Airman Ryder was good enough to bring you out and this is how you repay him. Don’t you ever think of anyone but yourself? You owe him an apology.”
Lou rolled her eyes. “I didn’t do anything.” However, she looked at Airman Ryder. “Sorry.”
He nodded.
Jack looked at him. “Go get some coffee and leave the report on my desk. I’ll deal with it.”
“Yes, sir.” He headed off.
“Is he in trouble?” Lou asked, wondering why a report was necessary.
“Yes. He was meant to be watching you and you could have gotten yourself killed because he was busy talking.”
“It’s hardly a busy car park. I wasn’t in any danger of getting killed. Besides, it wasn’t his fault,” Lou tried to explain.
“I don’t want to hear it.” Jack frowned. “Have you eaten?”
Lou looked away. It didn’t seem to matter what she said, it was wrong. So it’d be best not to say anything.
Jack looked at Dr. Andrews. “Doc?”
“She hasn’t eaten since she’s been here.” Dr. Andrews refastened the bandage around Lou’s leg. “I’m done. You got off lightly, young lady. You haven’t done any damage at all.” She straightened up.
Jack picked Lou up and set her in the chair. He tucked the blanket around her legs, then turned to Dr. Andrews. “Do you want her back in bed or can I have a few words with her first?”
“That’s fine, Colonel. You can have all the words you want with her. Bring her back at 1530.”
“Aye, ma’am.” Jack started to push Lou towards the main building. “First, we are having lunch.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Fine. I’m having lunch. You can watch. Then after lunch we have to talk.”
****
In the mess hall Jack pushed Lou’s chair up to one of the tables. “What do you want?” he asked.
“I told you,” Lou said slowly. “I’m not hungry.”
Jack put the brake on. “Stay,” he ordered and headed to the counter.
“I’m not a dog,” Lou muttered. Why did these people keep bothering? She wasn’t worth it. She knew that. Even God knew that, because He’d let her get hurt this badly in the first place.
“Back.” Jack put a tray with two plates of breaded chicken strips, French fries, and two cans of soda on the table. He put one plate in front of Lou and the other opposite her. “For once the line wasn’t too long.”
He put one of the forks by her plate. He sat opposite Lou and opened his can. He took a long drink and then picked up his fork. He ignored her as he began to eat. “It’s good,” he told her as he swallowed the first mouthful of food. “Try some.”
Lou looked round the room at everyone else. They were talking and laughing, eating and drinking, having a good time with their friends and colleagues. She felt so alone, despite Jack sitting across from her. There was nothing like a crowd for making loneliness glaringly obvious.
The smell of the chicken made her mouth water. Her stomach rumbled. She glanced at Jack. He was halfway through his lunch. She looked down at the plate in front of her. It was easier to refuse food when she was on her own. She was starving, but it meant there wouldn’t be enough for everyone else.
“How long is it since you’ve eaten?”
“Not since Deefer died. January 17,” Lou muttered. “There wasn’t much food and that way, it lasted the others longer. I don’t know what today is.”
“January 24,” Jack told her. “Seven days.”
“Is that all? Seems like a lifetime.”
Jack picked up her fork. He stabbed the chicken and raised it to her mouth. “Open,” he said. “I will feed you if I have to do so.”
Lou opened her mouth and Jack shoved the forkful of food inside it. Lou closed her mouth and Jack removed the fork.
He held her gaze. “Now eat it.”
Lou took in his determined look and obediently chewed and swallowed, managing to gag as she did so.
“Eat or I will feed you.”
Lou took the fork from his hand. “I’ll do it myself.”
Jack watched as she took the first mouthful. “No one is going to run out of food here,” he said, softening his tone. “I promise, there is more than enough to go around. You can have seconds if you want.”
She somehow finished what was in her mouth without gagging and looked at the plate. This amount of food would have had to have fed two of them, even though it was obviously a small portion. She blinked hard and stabbed at one of the fries.
He finished eating his own, watching her eat. Then he picked up his can and drank his cola thoughtfully.
Lou ate mechanically and very slowly. After five mouthfuls, she put down the fork down. “I’ve had enough,” she said.
“Eat it,” Jack commanded.
Lou scowled at him. “I’m not one of your airmen. You can’t order me to do anything. And I’m not a baby, before you suggest feeding me again.”
“Then stop acting like one and eat your lunch. Because me feeding you like a baby is a whole lot better than the alternative the doc is going to use unless you eat that food.”
Lou sighed and picked up the fork. The meal was delicious and she was hungry. It was just the principle of it. Jack wasn’t going to budge though, so she reluctantly began to eat.
Jack watched every mouthful. When she had finished, he handed her th
e soda. “Drink,” he ordered.
She did as she was told, not wanting to refuse, in case he made good on his threat to feed her.
“Thank you. Now sit tight and don’t move a muscle. I’ll be right back.” Jack put the empty plates away and pushed her down the corridor.
“Now what?” she asked.
“Now we talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Jack swung her round and backed through the double doors. “That’s where you’re wrong,” he told her. “You don’t want to talk to a counselor or your mom. Fine, but you’re going to talk to me. If nothing else, you can explain that idiotic stunt you just pulled.”
13
Lou closed her eyes as Jack swung the chair around again and headed out into the sunshine. The sun was warm on her face and the wind blew her hair everywhere, but she didn’t care.
Talking wasn’t going to help. The sooner he yelled at her and got it over with, the better it’d be. She sighed. And today had seemed so good at one point. Sitting in the sunshine and managing to do one thing for herself, then everything went downhill.
She rested a hand on her stomach, suddenly realizing that she no longer felt hungry and the gnawing pain in her tummy had gone.
Jack crossed the car park and headed into a building on the other side. He went through a few more fire doors and then stopped at a door at the end of the corridor. He took a key out of his pocket, unlocked the door, and pushed her inside.
“Where are we?” she asked.
“My quarters. We won’t be disturbed here.” Jack shut the door and pushed her across the room. He stopped the chair by the bed. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her. “Talk to me,” he said.
Lou glanced around the room. Her mother’s perfume and hairbrush sat on the dresser. Her robe was slung over the end of the bed and a small overnight bag rested on the chair. “Are you sure you’re not living with my mother?”
“Quite sure.” Jack looked at her. “Lou, we’re both Christians and that kind of a relationship is designed for marriage only. At my place we have separate rooms.”
“And here?”
“I’m crashing in the guest quarters for now. It’s not ideal, but your mom needs to be near you and she wants me nearby too.” He paused. “So, wanna tell me why you’re so determined to leave now we’ve found you?”
