I could’ve cried. Poppy and I were two peas in a pod. The cursed princesses. The weirdos.
And I was grateful. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her. The fact that she just understood what I was going through—how horrible this all felt. Maybe some time with her was just what I needed.
“Okay. I’ll come, but can Fin bring me without touching me? I don’t want to hurt him.”
“He’s a fairy godfather. He’s practically invincible. Remember that time when we got him to take us to watch the Pegasus Races?”
“Oh, right! What a relief. Okay, I’ll pack.”
“Good. We’ll see you soon.”
“You don’t mind candy cottages, do you? They’re the easiest to erect at short notice,” Zelda said.
I snickered. “Erect.”
Poppy snorted.
But then Zelda giggled. “Sorry, I know better.”
“Where are you going to put it? There aren’t any open tracts for development right now?” Poppy whispered.
“I don’t want to be a problem.”
“No, no. I have just the spot in mind.”
“You are not putting her next to door to that guy with the squirming sour gummies on his walk…”
“He sounds perfectly horrible. Yes. Put me there. He won’t bother me with curse breaking bullshit.”
“You are definitely right about that, but he won’t be a good helpful neighbor, either. What if something happens?” Poppy asked.
“Oh, you mean like a Charming roofie-ing me?”
“Point taken. Maybe he’ll gift you with your own moat and gummies, if you promise to leave him alone.” Zelda grinned.
“Maybe.”
Poppy’s eyes narrowed. “I really didn’t like that guy. He gave me the heebie-jeebies. Something was wrong with him. Fin will make you a moat if you want one. Don’t ask that guy for anything.”
“Of course there’s something wrong with him, Pops. He’s cursed.” Zelda rolled her eyes again. “Goddess, all this eye rolling is making me dizzy. I should probably stop that before they roll out of my head and fly away. It’s been known to happen to witches before.”
“So, you’re packing?” Poppy prompted.
“Yes, woman. I’m packing. I’ll be ready when Fin gets here.”
“Good.” Zelda reached her hand through the scrying mirror to hand me some chocolate. “That’ll help.”
I accepted it gratefully and watched as my best friend and Zelda, who seemed like she was fast becoming a good friend, disappeared into the misty depths of the mirror.
Part of me wondered if maybe I shouldn’t go. I was less likely to hurt anyone if I just went to a Cymaruan jail. What if I accidentally sneezed, or tripped and touched Poppy? She wasn’t cursed anymore. It was possible I could hurt her.
That wasn’t something I could live with.
I’d ask Fin when he came to get me.
If he couldn’t absolutely ensure her safety, I wouldn’t go.
I wasn’t sure what to pack. I didn’t suppose it mattered. I wondered if Fin could just… fairy godfather all of my stuff to my new candy cottage? That would be helpful.
It wasn’t long before I heard a knock on my door.
It had to be Fin.
“Come in,” I called.
And there he was. My best friend’s former fairy godfather and current husband in all of his golden fairy glory. He flashed me a big smile that showed off his white teeth.
“I’ve been summoned? You’ve got three wishes.”
“I do not. Don’t play with me. You’re not a Djinn.” I snorted.
“Uh, I seem to remember a time when you two were convinced that if you could shove me in the right lamp…”
“Fair enough. We were assholes, but so were you. Remember when you tried to get me to sing that song to make the birds come make me a dress?”
“Eh, yeah.” He shrugged. “That was a dick move. But come here.” He snatched me for a quick hug. I let him, because he wouldn’t die. “Poppy has missed you. Me, too.”
“Fin, I’m scared. Poppy isn’t cursed anymore.”
“No, she’s my wife. She’s a fairy princess now. She’s going to be a queen. She’s safe. I promise.”
I sagged with relief. “So, I don’t know that I ever want to come back here.”
“You want me to just… bippity bop, as Poppy says?” He cocked a brow.
“Yeah, that would be great. Especially if the Cymaru get petty.”
“That’s a good idea. All fairies are petty as fuck.” He looked around. “Okay, how’s your stomach? Do you get teleportation sickness?”
“I don’t think so. I turned a Charming to split pea soup and didn’t barf, so I guess my stomach is fairly solid.”
He pulled a small bag from seemingly nowhere and handed it to me. “Just in case. You ready?”
“Let’s go to Assjacket,” I said.
The world started to swirl around me. For one horrible moment, I thought I was going to hurl. Then it settled.
And then… I hurled.
It was a Technicolor spew of cupcakes and mead. I’d thought there couldn’t possibly be anything left in my stomach. I was wrong. Oh, so wrong.
To my utter and abject humiliation, it was not a victimless crime.
As the swirling paintbrush of my surroundings began to resemble something besides abstract art, I realized midflight spew had found purchase.
A man stood there. He looked to be of fairy descent, with blade sharp features and ridiculously long lashes over wicked serpentine eyes. He was blond, pale, and looked like he could be related to Jack Frost. Only, he was currently dripping with the leftovers of my depressed cupcake binge. It hung from his long, white-blond hair in gooey chunks.
I thought dissolving my date on the dinner floor at Le Fey had been humiliating. This was infinitely more so. At least if I’d killed him, I wouldn’t have to see that poisonous derision in his eyes.
“Really?” he said.
His voice was awful, like he was gargling glass. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “I’m so sorry.”
“Not as sorry as I am.”
He had this deadpan delivery that I found to be incredibly funny, but my mortification, thankfully, kept me from laughing. Because adding insult to injury wasn’t the best way apology.
“You’re a warlock. You can fix this with a wave of your hand. The princess was a little ill.” Fin brushed the whole thing off as if it were no more than a slight inconvenience rather than a barf-tastrophe.
He blinked. “A little ill? I’m covered in vomit.”
“Your choice, buddy.” Fin shrugged.
“Oh no. She’s another cursed princess, isn’t she? No. I can’t help you.”
“Obviously not. She’s going to be your neighbor.”
“Joy.” His tone indicated it was anything but. “Don’t come ask to borrow a cup of sugar. I don’t have any.”
He obviously didn’t want to know me, so I didn’t want to know him. “You live in a candy cottage. Of course you have sugar.” I rolled my eyes. “And it’s not like I’m going to run out of my own. You don’t have to worry about me bothering you. As if.”
“You should watch yourself, Malum. She’s not just any princess; she’s Snow Blight. Piss her off, and the sound of her voice could undo all of your dark magic.”
His eyes narrowed. “Turning telemarketers and other pests into lawn ornaments is not dark magic. It’s a public service.”
I had to agree with him. I definitely wouldn’t be humming any songs. I wasn’t that kind of princess anyway.
“I’ll stay on my side. You stay on yours.” Of course, now I knew what those gummy shapes moaning and squirming on his walk were, I kind of wanted a set for my own yard, but now did not seem like the most opportune time to ask.
Judging from the expression on his face, it seemed like half past never would be maybe the only time to ask. Yeah, that was probably right. Too bad he didn’t want to be friends. I coul
d’ve used another friend. And from the looks of it, he probably could, too.
“What?” he scowled as he waved his hand and, suddenly, he was clean again.
And strangely handsome. In a serpentine satanic kind of way. I’m sure he wouldn’t be thrilled with the train of my thoughts. Not that I was, either. Of course, I’d think the antisocial prickly warlock was attractive. Just my luck.
“What?” he demanded again.
I shouldn’t have said anything. I should’ve just kept it to myself. Maybe it was the teleportation that had scrambled my brains the same as my guts. But it popped out of my mouth with more force than the vomit.
“You’re hot.”
His eyes went wide. His mouth dropped open, and I’d swear I could hear it creak like a gate hinge on a windy fall day.
“I don’t break curses. And I don’t save damsels in distress.” He turned, and strode back inside his sour candy cottage. I could almost see a villainous cape flowing behind him and bristling with the waves of his angst.
Fanciful, I know. But we like bad boys for a reason.
The door slammed behind him.
And Fin laughed loud and long. “You probably just shocked the hell out of him.”
“I shocked the hell out of myself. What did I just do?”
“It’s not like you kissed him. He will, actually, live.”
I looked up at Fin. “You dick.”
He laughed and so did I. Because at this point, it was either laugh or cry. I wasn’t the crying sort.
“Poppy is waiting for you inside.” He kissed the top of my head in warm affection.
“You know I’m so happy for you guys, right? She’s always loved you. I mean, for a while she loved to hate you, but it was love.”
He fixed me with that sharp grin. “Don’t I know it, lass.” Fin held the door to my new cottage open.
Poppy made a mad dash for me and hugged me.
It was almost too much. I’d gone so long without being touched—I’d learned that these kind of embraces were deadly, but it wasn’t for them. It was overwhelming to go from a desert to an oasis.
I was torn between wanting to get away from it to wanting to wrap myself in more of it. So I just surrendered.
“It’s okay, Snow. We’ve got you.”
When she spoke, it broke whatever spell I was under, and I pulled away. I was slightly embarrassed of my need for contact. I knew she wouldn’t judge me for it and was happy to hug me, but for myself, I needed to learn how to live without.
“Thanks.”
“So, was that you puking I heard outside?”
My cheeks warmed. “Yeah. I puked all over my neighbor.”
Poppy cackled and sounded a lot like a wicked witch. “Good. He’s creepy.”
“Maybe, but I think we’ll get along fine.” I thought about the expression on his face when he spoke about his public service work. Err…dark magic. Maybe that was a sign I was meant to be cursed forever. A fairy tale princess did NOT wish bad things on people. Or encourage others to stray from the path of goodness.
“Why?” I could tell from the look on her face Poppy was not having any of this talk about my new neighbor.
“Well, for one, he didn’t try to roofie me.”
“That’s a pretty low standard, I have to say.”
“Interestingly enough, my vomit didn’t kill him.”
Poppy pressed a finger to her lips. “That is interesting. Maybe because he’s cursed, too.”
“He is? Is he really a cat or something?” I pressed my lips together. “Maybe a King Cobra?”
“Haha. No. He can’t feel love.”
“Ain’t that about a bitch?” I mumbled. We were closer in experiences than I’d imagined. He couldn’t feel love emotionally, and I couldn’t feel it physically. It sounded like a match made in hell… and yet…
“He was looking for someone to break his curse, too. But I ended up with Fin.”
“Oh, hell. He was one of the ones you interviewed?” So maybe I shouldn’t be barking up that tree? Even as I had the thought, I knew I was still going to bark and right up that particular tree.
“Yeah, and he totally creeped me out.” Poppy shook her head. “I can’t believe you think he’s hot.”
“I don’t know, I mean… attraction has a lot to do with chemistry. As does repulsion. Maybe our chemistry works together.” I kept thinking about that idea. That our chemistry could match.
“Oh, honey. I’d hate to see you tie yourself to that bitter, cold-hearted bastard just because he won’t die if he touches you.”
“I’ve given up on Charmings. Maybe it’s time for something else.” Because obviously, Charmings didn’t work for me. I didn’t see how they could work for anyone, but I guess for other princesses…
“I’ll agree it’s time for something else, but not that.”
“Maybe he’s not awful.” I already felt strangely defensive of my enigmantic neighbor.
“Maybe.” Poppy didn’t sound convinced. “I guess it’s up to you.”
After that, she gave me the grand tour. Apparently, it was just like the candy cottage she and Fin had, right down to the orchard wood in the closet.
It was nice. The whole place smelled like peach bellinis to me, and that could never be a bad thing. Maybe with a hint of the sharp bite of ginger. Exactly perfect for me.
I exhaled heavily, it was a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding.
All of my things had been transported and put away neatly. Again, I was exceedingly grateful for magic. It had done me dirty with this curse, but it also did great things, like make moving as easy snapping your fingers.
Or my best friend’s husband snapping his.
Although, I could do without that other thing that we shall never speak of again.
After Poppy got me settled in and left with the promise to return tomorrow, I couldn’t stop thinking about my new neighbor and his odd appeal.
I made myself a cup of hot cocoa, the kind in the package with water. Milk tended to curdle in my presence. I looked out the window as I put on the kettle and saw that he was outside.
I was almost tempted to go out, too, but I’d already made an ass of myself. Instead, I contented myself with watching him tend to his terrifying garden. I found myself soothed watching his long, strong fingers working in the soil, even as he fed his various carnivorous plants blood and meal.
The seemed to enjoy his touch. Some of them even butted up against his hand, nuzzling. It was obvious they weren’t simply seeking food. I saw one strange white plant ignore the blood entirely to nuzzle his palm. I could see how the idea might appeal. I kept thinking about how it feel if he were to pet me. But perhaps that was jumping the wand?
I supposed I was a twisted girl because I enjoyed watching this warlock feed blood to the plants in his garden that had been cultivated to eat anyone who dared trespass in his space.
Yet, carnivorous though they were, they were still living things that required a gentle hand.
I needed to know more about him.
The Warlock in Question
A knock sounded on my door the next morning. I was sure it had to be a door to door salesman or someone else I didn’t want to see.
I was surprised to see the warlock in question from the night before standing at my door with a squirming sour gummy under one arm and one of the white carnivorous flowers under the other.
“Don’t get any ideas. The fairy paid me,” he said by way of greeting.
“Far be it from me to ever get any ideas.” I held up my hands.
“I’ll give you a setup like mine, if you want it. You’ll take care of the wraith plant. They’re fierce, but they’re loyal, if you feed them gently.”
His voice still reminded me of gargling glass. I couldn’t get the imagery out of my head, and I still found it such a turn on.
I’d seen his feeding routine and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to touch the plant without hurting it. “I don’t know if it’s a goo
d idea. I kill everything.”
“That’s your curse? That… that actually blows more than mine.”
“Yeah, it’s made of dicks, if we’re honest.” I sighed.
“No, it should be fine. The wraith plant is immune to most magic, which is why I keep them. This one is Julie. She’s ready to spread her seedlings. You’ll have a whole garden in no time. It’ll keep dipshits and dumbasses from bothering you. The fairy seemed to think that’s what you wanted.”
“It is. I’m tired of killing people.” While I was tired of killing people, I was also tired of trying. Of trying to be good. Trying to be that kind of princess. Of trying to be something I’m not.
He nodded. “I understand. I’ll get started.”
“Okay.”
We stood there, just staring at each other for a long moment, before he said, “You need to help. That way Julie can get to know you.”
“You’re sure I can touch her?” The pale white pod opened her mouth, showing about a hundred sharp teeth.
He presented her, but then pulled back. “Come on. Come outside. It’ll be easier once she’s transplanted.”
I stepped outside, and he led me to a grassy place by the stone walkway. “I’m Grendal Malum, by the way.”
I wanted to ask if that was like the dragon, but I imagined he’d probably heard that a lot. Probably as much as I’d heard I was a Garbage Pail Kids version of Snow White.
“Snow,” I answered, kneeling next to him. Thankfully, he didn’t make the comparison.
He dug out the hole with his bare hands instead of magic, and I found myself once again entranced, watching them work.
“Look, Snow, you don’t seem like a bad lot. While I’m not in to saving damsels, like I said, I might’ve been once. I need my own curse broken, but I’ve just decided to live with it. Mine isn’t so bad. I can’t love. Whatever. Maybe it’s not so bad, you know?”
“Maybe you can’t feel love, but I can. I can feel touch and I need it. I’ve starved.” I froze and clamped my mouth shut. “I can’t believe I told you that. I’m sorry. That’s not your problem.” Yeah, way to pique his interest by fanning the flames of desperation. There was no worse stench. In my opinion anyway.
Snow Blight Page 2
