by Jo Ramsey
Maybe I do mean it. I can’t get out of this frigging school, so maybe I need to do something about the school. About the people.
They aren’t giving me a hard time today, though. They didn’t yesterday after I got back from the doctor, either. Something’s going on. I don’t trust it. They wouldn’t all suddenly stop pushing me around unless someone made them, but no one here has that much power.
I don’t know what, but something’s going on. I’m going to have to really watch my back now. At least I have Mira to help me again. She won’t be busy with her girlfriend, so she’ll be able to help me.
There’s the bell. And I’m off. Back home to hide in my room and hope Dad forgets I exist the way he usually does.
Chapter Five
MY PILLOW vibrated. I rolled over, fished out my phone, and squinted at the time on the display. It was a little past midnight. Not long after I’d fallen asleep. I’d stayed awake waiting for Rob to text, until I remembered he wouldn’t be able to text me because his dad had taken his phone. For once, I should have gotten a full night’s sleep.
Apparently Rob had gotten his phone back somehow, because he’d sent his usual opening text. Hi, Mira.
Hi. I blinked a few times to clear the sleep-blur from my eyes. How are you texting?
Asked Dad for my phone back. Told him I don’t talk to anyone except you. He looked through the calls and texts and saw I was right, so he gave it back.
Wow.
I think he only took it away because he couldn’t do much else to punish me.
Probably.
I sat up and propped myself on my pillows. The last few midnight chats with Rob had been short because he’d believed I didn’t want to talk to him. That was because of Talia. Now that she and I weren’t together, Rob would probably assume I was up for a long conversation.
I would tolerate it. I was more worried about him now that he was acting okay than I had been when he was angry and making semi-threats.
You had to work after school, right?
Yeah.
As soon as I’d gotten to the grocery store, I’d asked my manager not to have me bagging for Talia. He’d put me with Lydia instead. A woman my grandmother’s age, who kept having to ask the customers to repeat themselves because she couldn’t hear them. At least Lydia hadn’t tried talking to me. I’d had a fairly peaceful shift, and I’d only looked at Talia once the entire time.
Was it hard being around her?
I ignored her. She ignored me. It was okay.
Good. I hope she doesn’t give you a hard time because you broke up.
What would she do?
Revenge wasn’t Talia’s style. She would go back to her old group of friends and pretend I didn’t exist, which was fine with me.
I don’t know. Probably nothing. Mrs. Reynolds told me I shouldn’t get so angry at school.
She should stand in the hallway sometime and see what you put up with.
As if that would happen.
Maybe.
Now that I thought about it, maybe it should. If someone on the school staff actually saw what Rob went through, they would have to do something about it. The same way the teachers had to break up Rob’s fight with Craig and the others because they’d seen it.
Then again, if Mrs. Reynolds stood in the hallway waiting for something to happen to Rob, nothing would happen. No one would be stupid enough to do something noticeable in front of an adult. She wouldn’t see anything, so she would go right on believing it was all in Rob’s head. Or that he was starting the problems.
Rob didn’t answer for a few minutes. Just when I thought maybe he’d fallen asleep, another message showed up.
Dad gave me a lecture along with my phone. He said if I don’t start standing up for myself, he isn’t going to bother anymore.
I didn’t completely understand what Rob meant.
Bother with what?
With me, I guess. I don’t know. He doesn’t bother with me much anyway. Maybe he would pretend I don’t exist.
He can’t. He’s your dad.
Rob’s dad couldn’t completely write Rob off. Parents didn’t do that. Parents were supposed to love their kids no matter what.
Then again, obviously some parents didn’t love their kids. Rob’s mother had abandoned him when he was four. If she loved him, she would have taken him with her. Maybe then he wouldn’t be having so much trouble with his life.
Being my dad means he has to keep a roof over my head until I’m eighteen. That’s it as far as he cares.
Maybe he just isn’t good at showing you how much he cares.
Don’t waste time defending him. You don’t live with him. I do.
Okay.
He had a point. I’d only seen how his father acted around me. When I was at Rob’s house, his dad didn’t act as if he loved Rob or even liked him. He gave one-word answers or didn’t even talk to us.
Most parents acted nicer in front of their kids’ friends than when they were alone with their kids. If Rob’s dad was that bad in front of me, I couldn’t even guess how he acted when no one else was there.
Tomorrow’s Friday. One more day of hell and then I get two days of less hell.
Maybe you can come over Saturday. Dad said he wants to do another barbecue before it gets too cold. Olin’s inviting a friend, so I can too.
We’ll see. I’m not sure if I’m still grounded.
You can ask.
I still didn’t completely understand whether his father had grounded him in the first place or only taken Rob’s phone. Rob didn’t really leave the house except to go to school and come to my house, so grounding him wouldn’t be much use. Hopefully his dad would let him come over during the weekend. Rob didn’t need to be stuck inside for two days with only his father and stepmother.
I’ll ask. Can you keep talking or are you too tired?
I can keep talking.
I put down the phone and rubbed my eyes. I really was too tired to deal with Rob, but he needed to talk. He’d assumed I didn’t want to talk to him most of the week, so I had to stick with the conversation now. Otherwise he would think he’d been right.
Thanks.
No problem. What do you want to talk about?
Movies. Superhero or rom-com?
I sighed. I was in for another couple of hours of randomness. Hopefully I’d be able to stay awake and stick with it. Sometimes I got bored with Rob’s weird topics, but at least he wasn’t ranting or talking about getting people out of the way. I shifted position to be more comfortable and settled my brain for a long chat.
FRIDAY MORNING, avoiding Talia was easier than the day before. It was a good thing, because I was in a seriously bad mood. Thanks to Rob, I hadn’t gotten to sleep until three o’clock. I was exhausted, and having to talk to or even look at Talia would probably have sent my temper over the edge.
During first block, she wasn’t in class, which surprised me. She almost never missed school. I caught myself hoping nothing was wrong and then reminded myself I didn’t actually care.
Except I did. No matter how angry I was, I couldn’t magically stop caring what happened to her. If we’d still been speaking, I could have found out what was going on, but since we weren’t, I would have to either keep wondering or stop thinking about her.
So I went back to trying to convince myself it didn’t matter.
After class, Rob came over to my desk. “Talia isn’t here.”
“I see that.” I looked up at him. “What does she have to do with anything?”
He shrugged. “I figured you might know why. You still aren’t talking to her?”
“I just stopped talking to her yesterday. Why would I start again so soon?” I stood and grabbed my books. “I don’t want to talk about her, either. I only want to get through today so we can have the weekend. Are you coming over tomorrow?”
“I didn’t ask yet. Probably.”
We walked out of the room and into the chaos of the hallway. Rob stuck so close to me
he kept brushing against me. It irked the hell out of me, but I didn’t say anything to him. Changing classes was one of the times he was likely to get pushed around or yelled at, and I wanted to make sure nothing happened. Or at least witness anything that did happen so I could report it, as if reporting anything would do any good.
We’d almost reached our next class when someone grabbed Rob’s arm and yanked him away from me. I whirled around. Craig and Seth had Rob between them, one holding each of his arms. Craig also had a handful of Rob’s hair, and Rob’s mouth was open in a cry I could barely hear over the rest of the noise.
Other people stopped to look, then kept right on walking. None of them gave a crap what happened to Rob. If they stayed, it would be for entertainment purposes only.
My heart raced, and fury rushed through me. Clenching my fists, I frantically looked around, hoping I would see someone who might help. Of course, I didn’t.
I couldn’t do much. I was only about half the size of the morons. But I damn well wouldn’t let them hurt Rob again.
“Hey!” I took a couple of steps toward the guys. “Let go of him!”
“What are you going to do?” Seth flicked my nose with a finger of his free hand. “Get out of here, dyke.”
“Screw you.” I aimed a kick at his shin. Naturally, I missed.
He and Craig laughed. Rob had such a pleading expression on his face that my eyes watered. I had to do something. No one else would help, and if I went to get a teacher, Craig and Seth would probably pummel Rob before I got back.
“You assholes!” For about half a second, I didn’t realize the scream came from me. Then everyone nearby stopped and turned to stare at me. Good. Now they wouldn’t be able to say they hadn’t seen anything. “Leave him alone. Why can’t you ever just leave us alone?”
“Why should we?” Craig pulled Rob’s hair, and Rob yelped. “He’s so much fun. And he likes playing with boys. Don’t you, Robbie?”
“Stop.” Rob’s voice cracked in the middle of the word.
“Give it up, you guys.” Talia and a couple of her friends, all wearing black and chains, pushed through the crowd.
The two guys with her were a match for Craig and Seth sizewise. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to take Craig and Seth in a fight. I wasn’t sure Talia’s friends even got into physical fights. They usually ignored the rest of us. But this time, they weren’t ignoring anything. They were trying to help. I had no clue why, but I was thankful for it.
“Get out of here,” Seth snarled. “We owe this little fag a present for getting us suspended. Time to pay him back. You move along to your vampire ball or whatever the fuck and pretend you didn’t see anything.”
Without a word, and with no change of expression, the taller of Talia’s friends stepped forward, grabbed Seth’s free hand, and pushed his fingers back before Seth had a chance to react. Seth roared and tried to shake the guy off.
“We aren’t going to fight,” the other guy said. “Leave Rob alone and we’ll pretend this didn’t happen. You just came back. You want to be suspended again already?”
I stared at Talia. She didn’t even glance at me.
“Clear out! Everyone get to class!” One of the ninth grade teachers, whose name I didn’t know because he was new that year, pushed through the crowd along with Mr. Shorey.
Slowly, people started moving along toward their classrooms. Craig and Seth immediately let go of Rob and stepped away from him.
Covering his face with his hands, Rob let out a sob. I hurried to him and put my arms around him. “It’s okay. They got caught this time. It’s going to be okay.”
He didn’t answer, other than making tiny noises I recognized as his attempt to keep anyone from realizing he was crying.
“Office,” Mr. Shorey said. He didn’t even have to yell. His voice carried through the entire hallway. “Now. All of you.”
I glanced at Talia and her friends. All of them were smiling, or at least their mouths were curved slightly upward. Talia caught my gaze and gave me a little nod, then turned and headed for the office.
When we reached our destination, the adults sorted us so we wouldn’t beat each other up in front of them. Mr. Shorey told Talia and her friends to sit in the waiting area chairs, then brought Craig and Seth into his office with the teacher.
Ms. Cramer ushered Rob and me into her office. Rob was still crying, his face blotchy red. She handed him a box of tissues. “Sit down,” she said in the gentlest voice I’d ever heard her use.
Rob just stood there gasping. I touched his hand. “Rob? Sit down. Come on.”
He nodded, and we sat in the uncomfortable plastic chairs beside Ms. Cramer’s desk. I pulled a tissue out of the box and held it out to him. He looked at it for a second, then took it and dabbed his nose.
His eyes were unfocused, and he was breathing weirdly. Sharp, shallow breaths broken by an occasional sob. I wanted to cry too. It was the last day of the week. He should have been able to get through it without yet another round of BS.
Now that the danger was over, I was more sad than angry. And a little scared as well. One of these days, Rob would have enough. If someone didn’t stop people from treating him like crap, he might eventually decide to end his life. At least if he was dead, no one could bully him.
That was my biggest fear.
Right now, the most important things were helping Rob pull himself together and making sure Craig and Seth didn’t get away with what they’d done. And trying to keep Talia’s friend from getting into trouble.
Ms. Cramer sat in her rolling chair and leaned back, arms folded. “What happened?”
I glanced at Rob. He was leaning forward, gazing at the floor. Right now, he wasn’t in any shape to talk.
“We were on our way to class,” I said. “Walking through the hall the same as everyone else. All of a sudden, Craig grabbed Rob, and when I turned around, he and Seth were holding Rob’s arms. Craig had a handful of Rob’s hair.”
“Why did they grab him?”
I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times trying to figure out how to answer what was probably the stupidest question anyone had asked all month. She knew damn well why. It was simply what people did to Rob.
Saying so to her would only have gotten me in trouble, though. I had to keep my cool.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Like I told you, all we were doing was walking to class. They said something about paying Rob back for getting them suspended the other day. Maybe you guys should have told Rob they came back today.”
She frowned. “We don’t tell students about other students’ discipline.”
I clenched my teeth together so I wouldn’t say that was the most frigging idiotic thing I’d ever heard. If someone got suspended for hurting someone else, the second person damn well should find out when the first person came back to school. It had nothing to do with confidentiality. It was common sense. Protect the person who’d been hurt. Screw the person who’d done the hurting. Our school did the opposite.
If Ms. Cramer realized I was about to explode, she didn’t react. “What about the others?”
“Talia and the boys.” I took a deep breath and tried to cool down. “I don’t know their names. They just showed up. I guess they saw what was going on and decided to help. Everyone else ignored it, or watched so they could get their jollies. No one ever cares when Rob gets pushed around. They think it’s better than TV.” So much for cooling down. By the time I finished what I wanted to say, I was yelling.
“Mira.” Ms. Cramer studied me for a moment. “I understand you’re angry, but please try to talk to me calmly.”
“Whatever.” Talking calmly never did any good. They didn’t listen. But if I didn’t rein myself in at least a little, I would probably end up with detention or worse. Then Rob would feel guilty for getting me into trouble. He didn’t need to feel bad about anything else. He had enough crap going on.
Beside me, he sobbed again, then cleared his throat. “We were walking. T
hey grabbed me and yanked me back by the lockers. I don’t know what they planned to do. They called Mira a dyke, and me a fag. Craig wouldn’t let go of my hair.” He rubbed the top of his head.
Ms. Cramer nodded. “So the two of you were on your way to second block. Seth and Craig essentially ambushed you. The only people who tried to help were Talia, Rance, and Gregory. Do I have that right?”
“Yes,” Rob and I said together.
“What happened next?”
Rob touched my hand. I looked at him. Tears still trickled down his cheeks from his widened eyes. His breathing had slowed a little but hadn’t gone back to normal yet. Hopefully Ms. Cramer wouldn’t try sending him to class until he calmed down.
I went on talking. “Talia, Rance, and Gregory told Craig and Seth to leave Rob alone. Craig and Seth told them to go away. Then Mr. Shorey and the teacher showed up and brought us all down here.”
“Other than Seth and Craig, did anyone touch anyone else?”
I hesitated. If I lied, Ms. Cramer would find out. Seth would probably tell Mr. Shorey one of Talia’s friends had bent his fingers back. But if I told the truth and no one else mentioned it, I would be the one getting the guy in trouble.
Rob solved the problem for me. “I don’t know which guy’s Rance and which one’s Gregory. One of them bent Seth’s fingers to make him let go of me.”
“That’s all?” Ms. Cramer asked. “No one hit anyone?”
“I tried to kick Seth,” I said. “I missed, though.”
She nodded. “I would say if you missed, it doesn’t count.”
“Okay.” I leaned back and clasped my hands in my lap.
“You two stay here. Don’t touch anything.” She stood. “I’m going to check with Mr. Shorey and see where he is in talking to the boys.”
She walked out of the room, leaving the door open. Rob let out a long breath and bent over, arms wrapped around his stomach. “I can’t believe this. Again. So much for Mrs. Reynolds telling me if I mind my own business people will leave me alone.”
“She said that?” Obviously Mrs. Reynolds didn’t know a damn thing about high school, no matter how long she’d worked in one. “She should try paying attention around here sometime.”
