“Consider it done.”
“All right. I’ll have Marcy mail them to you on Monday. Until then, hang in there. I think we’re onto something here, Ky. You just have to be patient.”
“That’s like asking a toddler to behave, you know that, right?”
She sighed dramatically and said, “Do I ever.” Then she hung up without saying goodbye—in true Meg fashion.
THIRTY-THREE
I left an hour later to pick up Tabby and Garrett. I’d already filled them in about Alex and me officially dating again, and, thankfully, they kept the questions to a minimum. Garrett did make a point to ask me if AJ knew and my heart sank. He wasn’t going to take that news well at all.
We arrived at AJ’s and soon found ourselves packed into his kitchen, ransacking it for provisions. With arms full of junk, we made our way downstairs.
AJ’s basement was partially finished on one side and had concrete floors with storage shelves on the other. I helped Garrett get situated on the more comfortable of the two old couches, then found a spot on the smaller one next to Tabby. AJ, without a place to sit, plopped down on the rug right in front of me, and leaned back against the sofa. I acted like I didn’t notice, but when I caught Garrett’s eye from across the room, it held a clear warning: You need to tell him now.
“Here, AJ,” I said, climbing off the love seat. “You can sit with Tabby. Garrett’s trying to guilt me into rubbing his feet for him.” I rushed over and picked up his legs so I could slide in under them. The tension in his face relaxed a bit, and I forced myself to touch his gross socks to keep up the act.
He was going to owe me big-time.
“What should we watch?” Tabby asked, hunkering down under a blanket.
“How about that new action movie that’s on Netflix?” AJ suggested.
“Nooooooo,” I argued. “No dude-bro films allowed.”
“Oh!” Tabby exclaimed as AJ scrolled through our options. “What about Wonder Woman? I still haven’t seen that one.…”
“How have you not seen that yet?” I asked, truly shocked. “It’s a classic!”
“It hasn’t been out long enough to be a classic,” Garrett argued. I dutifully ignored him.
“I really want to see it!” Tabby squealed with delight. “It’s going to be so amazing!”
“Isn’t that a girly superhero movie?” AJ asked. As if choreographed, Tabby and I slowly turned to glare at him like he’d just told us our pants made our asses look big.
“It is an action movie comprised mostly of females, led by a female,” I said calmly, but that calm belied the anger rising within me, “and directed by a female, yes.”
“Ah, shit,” Garrett mumbled. “You stepped in it big-time, bro.”
“Right. So it’s a girly movie?” AJ said, genuine confusion in his tone.
“Give me the remote,” I said, pushing Garrett’s legs aside so I could get it. I snatched it out of AJ’s hand, then stormed back to my seat. “You don’t deserve this.” Once I was back in my spot, I clicked on the stunning image of Gal Gadot in all her Wonder Woman glory. “Now, prepare to be schooled in all things estrogen-dominant awesomeness,” I announced. “And if anyone in this room with a penis says ONE THING about girls not knowing how to fight or the movie not being realistic—within the confines of a superhero movie—I will single-handedly make you rue the day you were born, understand?” Garrett and AJ, having heard similar rants in the past, kept their mouths shut and nodded in agreement.
Old habits die hard.
We couldn’t have been twenty minutes into the film when one of the greatest fight scenes I’d ever witnessed broke out. Badass female warriors were putting the smackdown on the Germans. I was on the edge of my seat (taking Garrett’s legs with me). I glanced over at Tabby and saw big fat tears rolling down her cheeks. She stared at the screen with a sense of sadness and wonder that only she could understand. That scene had meant something to her. Something deep and moving. AJ looked over at her and his expression softened. Then his eyes fell upon me.
“Not a girly movie,” I mouthed, and he nodded.
By the time we reached the infamous No Man’s Land scene, I thought I was emotionally in the clear. But when Wonder Woman, in the face of insurmountable odds, chose to fight for those who could not fight for themselves, even if it meant losing—even if it meant dying—I knew I was in trouble. She stepped out onto that battlefield alone and began running at the enemy head-on like a woman possessed. In that moment, I felt my heart stop. My chest tightened. I understood her on the most fundamental level, and seeing her conviction play out in front of me was more than I could handle. I, like Tabby only minutes earlier, let tears roll down my cheeks, too overwhelmed by the awesomeness I was seeing.
We all needed heroes. Wonder Woman was mine.
After the movie finished and I came down from my girl-power high, Tabby suggested we play some ridiculous board game that she found on one of the shelves. AJ suggested Truth or Dare, pinning a mischievous set of eyes on me. Garrett pointed out that he wasn’t in the best shape for dares, but AJ dismissed him with a wave of his hand and suggested he’d best tell the truth then.
It was then that I knew the night was about to take an interesting turn.
* * *
Somehow, I never noticed that Tabby had grabbed two energy drinks from the fridge before we went downstairs and drank them both during the movie. By the time it was her turn to choose truth or dare, she was practically scaling the walls.
“I blame you for this,” I said to AJ as we watched her run circles around the couches, singing the theme song to Footloose—and it hadn’t even been a dare.
“Tabby!” Garrett shouted over her terribly off-key high note. “It’s your turn!”
“Okay!” she replied, out of breath but still running.
“If she has a heart attack, I’m kicking your ass, Miller,” I said, leaning in conspiratorially.
“Ky!” Tabby said, stopping before me. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were wild and full of mischief. “Truth or dare?”
“Umm…”
“Dare!” she said on my behalf. “I dare you to kiss AJ!”
If she’d been anyone else, I might have killed her on the spot.
“There will be no kissing, and Tabby is officially cut off,” I said calmly. “I think you need a water break and a time-out, young lady.”
Garrett scooted over on the couch so she could sit down, then wrapped his arm around her shoulder to hold her in place in case she tried to bolt and regale us with another eighties-movie soundtrack performance.
“My turn,” Garrett said, shooting me a look before attempting to take the tension in the room down a notch.
“I have to pee,” I replied, bolting for the stairs.
“ME TOO!” Tabby screamed. She launched out of Garrett’s grasp and raced past me up the steps, taking two at a time. Apparently, energy drinks greatly improved her coordination.
I followed in her wake, then found her dancing in the hallway, unsure of where to go.
“Bathroom’s over there,” I pointed. She was in with the door shut in a flash.
I shook my head and climbed the stairs to the second floor and the full bath AJ and his older brother used to share. On my way back to the basement, I passed AJ’s room. The door was open, so I peeked in. Seconds later, I found myself standing in the middle of it, not remembering when I made the decision to enter.
I don’t know what I expected to find in it or what I was looking for, but there I was, turning a slow circle in AJ’s bedroom, taking in every change that had taken place since I’d last seen it. Every photo. Every medal. Everything. I wanted to see it all.
Being in there alone made me bold, and I walked around his room as though I belonged. As though we hadn’t broken up over two years ago for dubious reasons. They’d been legit at the time, but once the truth surfaced, the waters were decidedly muddied.
And so were my feelings.
I walked over to
look at the pictures on his dresser. Front and center was a shot of Garrett, AJ, and me from freshman year homecoming. Sandwiched between the two of them, their arms slung around my shoulders, we smiled like life was ours for the taking. Like nothing could ever come between us.
I picked up the frame and traced a heart around the three of us, remembering how much fun we’d had that night. It reminded me of how much fun we were having together in the basement. Dangerous feelings rose within me, and I quickly put the picture back down. When I turned to leave, the weight of emotions I didn’t yet want to unpack on my shoulders, I found AJ standing in his doorway, staring. His green eyes were filled with things I was afraid he’d say. Things he couldn’t take back once he did.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I just … I guess I just wanted to see how different your room was now.” He continued to stare at me, unspeaking, then took a step closer. “I’m really sorry for intruding.…”
I made a move to leave, but he stood in the doorway, unwilling to step aside. He’d done that once and lost me. Looked like AJ had learned his lesson.
“I don’t mind,” he replied. I watched his mouth as he spoke, his soft full lips as mesmerizing as ever. “I like you in my room—I always did.”
“I should go,” I whispered, the words unwilling to come out any louder than that. My body wrestled against my will—my heart against my mind.
“Ky,” he said as he gently caught my arm in his hand. Shivers ran up my spine at the feel of its warmth. The strength it barely withheld. “Don’t go.” His face was near mine at this point, the two of us sharing the same air. I did all I could to avoid his gaze, but it was virtually impossible when he was that close to me. My mind swirled, the past blurring with the present. Memory blending with moment. “I don’t want you to go.”
I dared one look up at the face of the boy I feared I still loved, and my body won the tug-of-war.
My fingers wound through his hair, pulling his face closer until our lips crashed together. His hands were all over me, desperate to make up for lost time. He hoisted me up and carried me to his bed. The two of us scrambled onto it, doing all we could not to break contact in the process. It wasn’t pretty, but it worked because I soon found his body on top of mine. The weight of it against me felt like the exact thing I’d been missing since I’d left Jasperville. Like his presence filled a void I hadn’t even known I’d had.
The exposed band of skin on my stomach surged with fire when he pulled his shirt off and laid back down on top of me. I raked my fingers down the taut muscles of his back—the ones that had grown stronger and larger since I’d last been with him. Seconds later, my shirt was off, and he was kissing his way down my neck. I was lost to the sensation of him touching me—of being with him. Then the sound of pants unzipping seemed to pull me from the depths of lust I was swimming in.
Maybe it was just the distinct sound of the zipper or the hungry look in AJ’s eyes when I looked up at him or the fact that Garrett and Tabby were downstairs and likely wondering where we were, but something in my mind snapped to attention and told me to stop.
“AJ,” I said, my voice breathy and winded. “We can’t…”
“I have protection,” he said, assuming that was my concern.
“No,” I repeated with a little more strength this time. “I mean we can’t do this.”
He stopped immediately, climbing off me like he’d crossed a line. “I’m sorry if I did something—shit! I didn’t ask first.…”
“No, it’s not that. It’s me,” I said, scrambling off his bed to go find my shirt. Once I located it, hanging off his doorknob, I slipped it over my head and wrapped my arms around my waist. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I win that award tonight—I’m the one with the boyfriend.”
He looked like I’d slapped him.
“Since when?” he asked.
“Just the other day. I should have told you.”
“Do you love him?” he asked, standing up cautiously. His undone pants were slung low on his hips, and it was all I could do not to stare at the sharp V of his ab muscles as they disappeared into his waistband. Another upgrade that had occurred in my absence.
I forced myself to turn away.
“It’s not that simple,” I muttered, headed for the door. Once again, he caught me before I could leave.
“Do you love him, Ky?” he asked again, the heat in his tone unmistakable. I still couldn’t turn and face him. I was too afraid he’d see right through my answer. “Because the way you just kissed me, it’s hard to believe that you do.”
“Whether I love him or not, AJ, we’re together, and that’s not going to change right now, okay?” I finally forced myself to face him. “I should never have come up here—and I shouldn’t have kissed you. I was wrong—”
Before AJ could press the issue any further, footsteps echoed up the staircase.
“What are you two doing?” Garrett asked, before cresting the final step. When he did, he took one look at AJ’s half-naked status and my sheepish expression and shook his head. “I think it’s time to go, Ky.”
I nodded, knowing my voice would betray me.
The two of us made our way downstairs to where Tabby awaited us, jacket in hand. AJ didn’t bother to follow.
THIRTY-FOUR
With my mind finally clear from its AJ haze, the guilt rolled in. In reality—the one that nobody but Dawson and I knew—my feelings made no sense since Dawson and I weren’t actually dating, but they were there nonetheless, thick enough to cut with a knife. The one I’d stabbed Alex in the back with, as far as my friends were concerned.
I lay awake in my bed, trying to erase the feel of AJ’s hands on my body and mine on his until I surrendered to the futility of it and got up.
At 1:00 A.M., I got dressed and grabbed my car keys. Absurd though it was, I jumped in my car and drove to Dawson’s. I needed to tell him what I’d done so we could figure out how to deal with it.
The light in his living room was on when I pulled up to the brick ranch. By the time I reached the bottom of his walkway, the door was opened to greet me—or ask me why the hell I was there. For once, it would have been a valid question.
“Do you ever sleep?” I asked, pushing my way past him into the house.
“Do you?” he fired back. “And do you ever text before coming over?”
I turned back to look at him and found a small, satisfied smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“I did something tonight,” I started, figuring it best to just dive right in. “Something I shouldn’t have.”
“Your forte, of course.” He looked at me expectantly. “Well, let’s hear it. How much am I about to hate my life?”
I grabbed a pillow from the couch and picked at the fringe as I leaned against the armrest.
“I may or may not have been on a trip down memory lane when this happened, so I need you to keep that in mind.”
“Just spit it out, Danners.”
“I kinda, maybe, sort of cheated on you tonight,” I replied, wincing away from him as I did. He looked at me for a moment like the words hadn’t fully registered. Then that damn smile curled the corner of his mouth ever so slightly. He was holding back his amusement, though barely.
I chucked the pillow at his head.
“I’m not sure how I should feel about this,” he said in his most serious voice.
“I hate you right now,” I replied, heading for the front door.
“What? You’re just going to drop your infidelity on me like that, then run?”
“I’m sorry I came over here tonight,” I said, grabbing the doorknob.
“All right, all right. Calm down … I’m just screwing with you.” He caught my arm and gently pulled me away from the door, then led me to the couch. I sat down while he perched on the edge of the coffee table across from me. “You were right to tell me. We need to get ahead of this in case kids from your school find out.”
“They’re not going to. AJ won’t tell—�
��
“AJ?” he repeated, leaning back from me like he wanted to take in everything. Like he didn’t want to miss out on any body language.
“Yes. AJ. Is that a problem?”
“I don’t know. Is it?”
“Didn’t seem to be earlier,” I muttered under my breath.
“And now?”
Apparently, the interrogation had begun. Knowing I’d opened Pandora’s box with no way to shut it, I took a deep breath and gave him the abbreviated version of what had gone down. Once I finished, he leaned forward on his elbows and stared.
“What?” I shouted. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Do you still love him?” he asked. So not the question I was expecting.
“Some part of me seemed pretty interested in revisiting the past, that’s for damn sure.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“Garrett came up and found us right after. I’m pretty sure he put two and two together, given the disapproval in his expression. He didn’t say anything to Tabby, but we rushed out of there pretty quickly. She knows something’s up, just not the particulars.”
“Neither of them will be an issue,” he said. “They’re too loyal for that.” His brow furrowed as he continued to stare at me, his gaze unrelenting.
“So why do you still look worried?”
“Because I don’t trust AJ.” I opened my mouth to argue, but he shut me down with a raised palm, deflecting my argument. “If you think he won’t blab, then I’ll trust you.” I tried to hide my shock and failed. He frowned when he saw it in my expression. “But I still don’t think he’ll stay away.” He got up and started to pace the room. “Will he keep pursuing you?”
Yes.
“No … I don’t think so. I told him I should never have kissed him. That I was in a relationship with you.”
“Like that matters in the heat of the moment.”
“I promise I will make this go away if you promise to never say ‘in the heat of the moment’ ever again,” I said with a shudder. “It sounds super creepy.”
Don't Say a Word (Hometown Antihero) Page 19
