by Marla Monroe
She didn’t look up at him. “It’s okay, Edward. I know you weren’t wanting to start a family so soon. We don’t know anything about what to expect.”
“No. It’s not okay, honey. I let something that happened to me a long time ago bleed all over you and that’s not right or fair to you. I’m so sorry.” He felt Porter’s hand touch his shoulder and looked up to see him shaking his head.
His friend obviously didn’t think it was a good idea to tell her exactly what he’d been thinking when he’d reacted like he had. Maybe he was right, but he didn’t like keeping it from her either.
“I promise, I’m very happy that you’re carrying our child. I was surprised and after talking with Cam and Phillip about what all to expect here, I panicked. I’m sorry, Hannah. Please forgive me.”
She finally looked up at him for a brief moment before nodding and dropping her head again. “It’s okay, Edward. There’s nothing to forgive.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head in her lap. The realization that life bloomed inside of her finally hit him and he buried his face against her belly. Then he was pulling at the ugly gown to get it off of her.
“What are you doing? Edward?” Hannah struggled to keep the gown in place but he was determined to get it off of her.
“I want to touch you, honey,” he said. Thankfully Porter was on board with the idea of getting her naked.
“I don’t want to sleep naked anymore,” she said in a tear-tinged voice.
Edward didn’t even bother to answer her. Instead he laid his cheek against her abdomen and rubbed there as they laid her back on the mattress. He turned and kissed her soft round tummy and was thankful that she wasn’t fighting them any longer.
Chapter Nine
Hannah didn’t know what to think anymore. Too much had happened in the last few days. She’d had to get past Edward’s anger that she’d shown up instead of Gladys, then she’d found out that not only was she pregnant but her child wouldn’t be just like them. Then Edward had flipped out on her again. She didn’t think she could handle much more. Everything she knew was back on a dying Earth. Her sister, destined to die among strangers who Hannah had no idea if she could really trust them to take care of her or not had always been the positive one. She’d always believed that things would work out. Hannah hadn’t. She’d grown up enough before things went to hell to know how cruel people could be. Her sister was only just finding that out.
The feel of Edward’s lips on her belly had the tears falling all over again. She felt so alone. Even Porter wasn’t enough to make her feel loved and cared for. They were stuck with her and had they been given a choice, she was sure they never would have picked her. Knowing that she was only a conciliation prize hurt far more than she would have believed at this point in her life. Hannah had thought she was past that. Evidently she wasn’t.
“Please forgive me, Hannah. I really am happy that you’re carrying our baby,” Edward told her again.
“I–I said there wasn’t anything to forgive. Stop, Edward.” She tried to push him off of her, but he wouldn’t budge.
He had wrapped his arms around her waist and was resting his cheek against her belly. Porter was lying next to her with his face buried against her neck. She didn’t know what to do, what to say. She just wanted to forget it and go to sleep. Sleep would be really good right then.
Finally he pulled back and looked up at her. She could have sworn there were tears in his eyes, but she decided it was just a trick of the light from the two moons shining through the windows.
“I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be right back, okay?” He seemed to be asking for her permission.
“I’m not going anywhere, Edward.”
He stared into her eyes for a few long seconds then nodded and backed off the bed. When he was gone Porter pulled the covers up over them and spooned her from behind.
“He’s scared you’re going to reject him, Hannah. If you want to make him crawl for a little longer, I don’t blame you, but he really is sorry for how he acted,” Porter told her.
“I can’t really blame him. I showed up instead of the woman he married. I’m nothing like someone he would have chosen, either of you really. I’m not all that pretty and I’m overweight, and now I’m going to have a baby that none of us was ready for. I can’t seem to do anything right.” She didn’t have any more tears to cry now.
“Oh, baby. That’s not true. You’re perfect for us. You have the prettiest eyes that sparkle when you’re happy. I love how your hair shines in the sun when we’re outside. I love how soft your skin feels when I touch it. I don’t like stick figure women with bones that stick out.” He kissed her shoulder. “I’m crazy about you, baby girl.”
Hannah wanted to believe him, wanted to trust that he wasn’t just trying to make her feel better. She was just like any woman. She wanted to believe that she was the most important person in her man’s life. In her case, she had two men to please. If just one of them really cared about her like that, she’d be happy, but she was afraid to believe. It would kill her to find out later that it had all been a lie.
She heard the water shut off in the bathroom. Edward would be back soon. She had hoped to be asleep before he got back into bed. Somehow the thought of facing him again was more than she could handle.
Just as he opened the bathroom door, Hannah turned over in the bed and buried her face in her pillow so she wouldn’t have to see his expression. She was sure it would be resignation.
“Hannah?” His voice sounded so unsure.
“Night, Edward,” she said.
He climbed into bed and scooted up close to her, wrapping one hand over her hip. His hand was so warm, felt so good there. Hannah wanted to believe he cared so badly that it hurt.
“Night, honey.” He kissed her shoulder then the light on the table next to the bed went out and he squeezed her hip.
She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed that sleep would come fast. She wasn’t so lucky though. Long after the men were sleeping, Hannah lay awake trying to remain still and quiet. There wasn’t a sound in the house as far as she could hear. No normal creaking of an old house since this one was so new and no humming electrical sounds interrupted the endless silence between the guys’ soft snores.
She missed the constant noise that had surrounded her when she’d lived with the others in the bunkers. Not because it had been comforting but because it had meant that she was still with her sister and a few people that she thought were her friends. Here, she didn’t know what to believe. Did she just go on as if nothing was wrong? How long could she live like that? How long before the constant strain of feeling like an imposter in what was supposed to be her home and her family tore her apart?
Hannah stifled a sigh. She didn’t want to wake them up. They’d try and tell her everything was fine again. It wasn’t and nothing would change that. She had to come to terms with it and figure out how to live with it. If it had been just her, Hannah would have asked them to take her back to the space station and figure out somewhere to work. She couldn’t do that now, though. She had a child to think about and whether they were ready for him or not, the baby was their son.
She ran her hand over her pelvis and wondered if he was aware enough yet to feel her? She had to accept him and make sure he never felt as if he wasn’t wanted like she did. She loved him even if he would be different, more than her. She would make sure her son never knew the fear of being alone. Whatever his differences were, she’d make sure he saw them as special, something to be proud of. With the other children having the same differences, he’d be accepted.
It was her last thought as sleep finally pulled her under. Even in sleep though, her dreams kept at her, reminding her that she wasn’t really wanted, but she’d be sure her son was.
* * * *
When Hannah woke the next morning, neither man was in bed with her. She glanced over at the clock on the bedside table and realized it was nearly nine in the morning. She’d
overslept. At least she hadn’t had to face the men first thing. With that happy thought, she climbed out of bed and quickly made it before finishing up in the bathroom and dressing.
When she walked downstairs, she could hear the men in the kitchen. The fact that they’d had to make their own breakfast had her feeling like a failure once again. She shook it off and stepped into the room.
“Hey, baby girl. We’d hoped you would sleep a little longer. Did we make too much noise?” Porter asked walking toward her.
“No. I just woke up. I’m sorry I overslept. Did you get enough to eat? I can make something else,” she said.
Porter stopped in front of her and pulled her into his arms. “We’re fine. What would you like to eat? We’ve got left over breakfast meat of some kind and toast.”
She wrinkled her nose at the thought of what they might have fixed. Some of the things they had here on Alpha had to be cooked a certain way or it wasn’t really that tasty. She pulled back and gave him a smile.
“I’m not really very hungry right now. I’m going to have a piece of toast and some juice. It will be lunchtime soon anyway,” she said turning toward the refrigerator.
“You sit down, honey. I’ll get you something to drink.” Edward grabbed her around the waist and hauled her back against him.
When he picked her up and carried her to the table, she had to bite her tongue to keep from demanding that he put her down. Instead, she forced herself to relax as he settled her in a chair at the table where Porter was setting up toast and some kind of jelly or jam for her to choose from.
“Thanks.” She didn’t look up at him.
“Do you want the stone berry or that orange stuff?” Edward asked her.
“Um, the orange stuff. I think it’s called Gatorade, like back on Earth,” she said.
“You’re kidding. It doesn’t taste anything like Gatorade,” he said setting it on the table in front of her.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so either. Maybe a little like Tang used to, but not much.” Porter poured some of it in a glass for her.
“Thanks. I’m good. You can go do whatever it is you need to be doing,” she said, picking up a spoon to dip out some of the jelly to spread on the toast.
“We don’t have anything we need to be doing except maybe you,” Porter told her.
When she looked up at his comment it was to find him wiggling his eyebrows at her. She knew she was blushing from how hot her cheeks grew. How could they think about sex with everything that was going on?
Oh, right. I’m talking about men. They always think about sex.
“When do you start working?” she asked, ignoring his blatant suggestion.
“We don’t start till day after tomorrow. We need time to get acclimated and settle in here first. How are you feeling this morning?” Edward asked looking down at her belly.
She refused to burst into tears. What was wrong with her? She wasn’t far enough along to be this emotional.
“I’m fine. No nausea or anything for you to worry about.” She bit off a portion of the jelly-covered bread.
“We thought we would make a trip back to the space station to load up on some things we’re probably going to need. With us going to work soon, there won’t be much time to make a trip later,” Porter told her.
“Okay. I need a few things if you don’t mind getting them for me while you’re gone. I’ll make a list,” she said standing up.
“Hey, where are you going?” Edward asked, pushing her back on the chair. “Finish your breakfast. We’ve got plenty of time.”
“And we’re not going anywhere without you, baby girl. There’s no need for you to make a list for us,” Porter told her with a frown.
“Couldn’t I just stay here while you go? I’m sure you don’t need me hanging around while you take care of things,” she said without looking up.
“The main reason we’re going is to take you, honey. We wanted to get some things for you,” Edward said sitting down next to her.
“What kind of things? I don’t need anything, guys.” She frowned across to where Porter stood next to the fridge.
“You don’t have very many clothes, baby girl. And you need to see the doctor to get vitamins for the baby,” he said.
“Oh. I guess you’re right about the vitamins, but I don’t need many clothes, guys. I’m just going to outgrow them anyway,” she said looking back down at her plate and losing her appetite at the thought of gaining more weight.
“I can’t wait to see you get a basketball belly,” Porter teased with a huge grin.
“It’s not funny, Porter. I’m already big enough as it is. I’m going to get huge.” Hannah ran her hands over her face and sat back in the chair, no longer the least bit hungry.
“Stop it right now, Hannah,” Edward said, his voice had gotten deeper and he’d turned in his chair to stare at her. “You’re not too big at all. You’re perfect. We want you healthy and the baby healthy. That means you’re going to get all round and soft with our baby. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“You say that now, but once the baby comes, I’ll still be fat and it won’t be easy getting the weight off.” She was just like her mom and she’d always had to fight to keep from getting too big.
“I promise, honey. No matter how big you get, Porter and I will enjoy helping you work it back off. You won’t be able to go two steps without one of us trying to help you exercise,” Edward told her.
She just shook her head. They had no idea. She knew what it would be like. The baby would need tending and all of them would be too tired to do more than take care of the baby and work and keep the house. No, she wasn’t going to candy coat or romanticize pregnancy or afterward. She’d watched her parents and her friends with their children. Parenthood was a major event that never turned off.
“Eat up, sweet thing. We’re going to have fun today. You’ll see,” Porter said gesturing at her plate.
“I’m finished. I’ll grab something to take with us as a snack in case I get hungry later.” She stood up, picking up her plate to carry it to the sink.
“I’ve got that.” Edward took it away from her then picked up her empty glass as well. “Do you want more juice before I wash this?”
“No thanks.” Hannah wasn’t sure how to act around the two men. They were pretending that everything was fine yet still seemed uncomfortable around her.
Twenty minutes later, Edward strapped her into the transport as Porter got them ready to head out. She wasn’t sure why they wanted to take her with them, but she wasn’t going to argue. Getting out would be good when she was sure it would be a while before she’d get to go back.
The drive over didn’t seem to take as long as she had remembered it taking out there, but then it was full daylight and they weren’t anxious about where they were going to live. While they didn’t see any of the strange and scary mantises they did catch sight of some dorries watching as they passed.
The first place they went on arriving was the clinic. Before they got out of the transport she reminded them not to say anything about Julie’s part in her knowing she was pregnant. She was just going to admit to having some breast soreness and nausea. She would tell the doctor that she just knew she was pregnant and chalk it up to a woman’s intuition.
They assured her they weren’t going to say anything though they both thought it wasn’t a good idea to keep something like that from their only doctor. She just knew it wasn’t her secret yet to reveal.
When they arrived, it was to find Scott, the doctor’s nurse, the only one there at the moment.
“The doctor had to go check on a patient. He’ll be back later if you want to come back,” he said.
“No, there’s no need really. I just need to get some vitamins. I’m pregnant and figured that I should get started on them as soon as possible.”
“We can come back later,” Edward said with a frown.
“Really. There’s no need yet. When I’m farther along, he’ll want to
check me then, but right now, I just need the pills.” She stared hard at him, willing him to understand that she didn’t want to have to lie to the man.
“Well, congratulations! That’s wonderful to hear. You just arrived, didn’t you?” he asked, watching her closely.
“Our wife is a fertile woman,” Porter said, hugging her close. “She’s made us so happy.”
“Well, while you’re here, I’ll go ahead and draw your blood and get you set up on prenatal vitamins. What symptoms are you having?” he asked.
“Um, well, my, um, breasts are tender and I’ve been a little sick to my stomach the last two mornings,” she said without looking at him.
“And you’re sure you’re already pregnant,” he said as he ushered them into a room.
“Yes. I just know. I don’t know how to explain it,” she said, honestly not knowing what she could say to convince him.
“Oh, I’m sure you do. Women tend to know these things,” he said with a chuckle. He turned to the men. “Help her up on the table and I’ll get my supplies.”
It was Edward who swung her up on the table as if she weighed nothing. He didn’t move away from her though. Instead, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close to him as Porter held her hand on the other side. She wasn’t sure if it was all for show of if they were just trying to convince her that they were serious about being happy about the baby.
“Okay. I’m going to check your blood pressure and temperature and then draw your blood,” Scott said as he wrapped a cuff around her upper arm.
Twenty minutes later, they were waiting in the hall that seemed to serve as a waiting room while they waited for Scott to label and put away the blood before giving them the vitamins. After several minutes, he returned with a small bag.
“Here you go. There is two months’ worth in the bag plus two months of iron tablets. Even with the prenatals, the women here tend to stay fairly anemic so go ahead and take them until you come back in to see the doc. You should probably plan to see him in the next forty-five or so days for a thorough checkup. If he finds anything unusual in the blood results, he’ll call you up on the radio.” Scott shook the men’s hands and congratulated them all.
