“Just get some sleep and then we’ll think of the next step,” my brother continues, his voice sounding sensible. “Meanwhile I need to call the office. This is the second time in two weeks I’ve played hooky.”
I take a long, hot shower, then collapse into bed and fall into a profound sleep, not dreaming about needle-dick or any nightmares at all but hot, hot sex with Alexandre. I hear myself coming in my sleep, feel the damp heat between my legs - wanting him, yearning for him. He’s fucking me from behind, me on top, me underneath, Cowboy style, 69 – every which way and I can’t get enough. His soft dark hair is flopping about his face which is beaded lightly with sweat. I can smell him, even his cock I have in my mind’s eye, hard as a rock, fucking me, making me come in thunderous spasms. I’m hungry for him, ravenous for his touch, for him to be inside me. I’m moaning in my sleep. I need him. Want. Desire. A burning passion has me on fire.
Can I be strong? Keep my resolve? Or am I so addicted to him that I’m a lost cause?
Chapter Thirteen
Several hours later, while Anthony is working from home, I slip out the back door and use the neighbor’s entrance in their garden to make my exit. I still don’t know what to do about Alexandre. I need more time to think before I call him. I’m in love with him, no doubt about it and I want to marry him but every time I’m tempted to give in I think of my naked body sprawled in a ditch, or in a shallow grave. Dead. Maybe even chopped up and distributed all over the United States. Or perhaps Sophie would meddle with the brakes of my car or slip cyanide in my drink. She has people working on her payroll all over the country – she could do anything.
I spend a couple of hours at Anthony’s gym, swimming – letting out all my steam and stretching my aching limbs from that long car journey last night. The water feels great and I feel so much better afterwards.
As I’m approaching Anthony’s neighbor’s back yard, carefully looking out for Alexandre, I hear steady footsteps behind me. My heart is racing, I feel a spike of adrenaline rush through my veins and turn around. It’s HIM. He’s standing there in jeans and a white T-shirt looking beyond stunning. His jaw is set firm and he has a five o’clock shadow and hooded eyes of a man who hasn’t slept all night. He’s not smiling. His face is stern, unflinching but he doesn’t look angry, just immovable. Uh oh, this is scarier than anything.
I walk over to him, stretch out my arms to hug him, donning a limp smile. But he steps back as if he doesn’t want me to touch him. His body language shocks me.
“Alexandre, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what to do last night.”
“Oh, I think you did, Pearl. You had it all nicely planned out. You knew exactly what you were doing.”
I edge closer but he steps aside, narrowing his eyes at me. All I can think of is how handsome he is and that I don’t want to lose him. “I’m sorry, I—”
“Did you stop for even one second to think how I’d feel? Can you imagine what an idiot I looked, standing there with a lady’s handbag while my fiancée had climbed through the window of a fucking toilet? To escape from me? How debasing that was?”
“I had no choice, I—”
“I wanted to marry you, Pearl. I wanted for us to be together forever - didn’t that mean anything to you?”
Oh my God! He’s speaking in the past tense!
“Alexandre, I still want to marry you, I still want to make this work, I still—”
“Pearl, don’t you get it? It’s too late for that now. I can’t be with a woman who’s going to bolt on me every time my sister does something that she isn’t a thousand percent okay with. What kind of a man do you think I am? That I’d abandon my own family for some crazy notion of yours that my sister’s got it in for you that she’s going to kill you? It’s just insane.”
“She is!” I yell. “Laura called me. She told me not to go to Vegas, that Sophie caused her accident—”
“The night the accident happened when Laura tripped down the stairs Laura was tipsy, and yes, it was Sophie who had taken us both out to dinner and ordered that extra bottle of wine… so was Sophie responsible? No she wasn’t, but at the time Laura felt angry – she has two left feet and was always tripping up and usually never drank alcohol, but Sophie didn’t ply her with wine on purpose so she’d have an accident – you must have misinterpreted what Laura said.”
“I didn’t! Laura said on the phone last night that—”
“Well we’ll never know exactly what Laura said,” he interrupts, “because your phone’s missing. I was in such a state last night, calling the police - who didn’t fucking want to know, by the way - so I had to hire private detectives to try and find you. I was out of my mind with worry. I thought something could have happened. Anyway, I’m sorry, but with all the commotion I left your handbag by a take-out place in L.A near the police station, and when I went back for it, it was gone. Stolen. Don’t worry, I’ve already reported it all missing—”
“Alexandre—”
“And I know your phone was inside because straight after the toilet escape fiasco I tried to call you and you can imagine the surprise when it rang in your fucking handbag. I had a look to see what else was there. Your wallet, everything left behind. I figured, a woman who leaves her fiancé without her credit cards and cell phone is a woman who’s on the run. As if I were some wife-beating bastard who wanted to hurt you - someone you had to run and hide from.”
“No! It wasn’t like that. But I was scared. Scared to go near Vegas. I’m still scared of Sophie. Laura was serious. Your sister wants me out of your life, she—”
“Sophie would never hurt you, chérie, believe me.”
“I wanted you to stop her to—”
“Imagine yourself in my shoes, Pearl. You and your only brother. You’d abandon Anthony just like that? He’s behaved like an asshole with you ever since I met him, yet you have still stood by him because he is your flesh and blood. You can’t just trash your own family! My sister and I have been through Hell and back together and we’re close. But that doesn’t seem to register with you. Yet I still listened to you. I have made so many concessions. I have even started to dissolve my own fucking company for you. Even agreed to sell HookedUp to Sophie so I will be out of it one hundred percent. But you know what, Pearl? I’m done. What you did to me last night pushed me to my limit. You demonstrated to me, loud and clear, that you do not want me and you know what else? I think you’re using Sophie as an excuse. An excuse to run from me.”
My heart is pounding. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. He is dumping me! Dumping me in favor of his crazy sister.
“I love you Alexandre. Please. Please let’s work this out.”
“Work what out? As long as Sophie is breathing you’re going to nag on and on at me about her. What do you want me to do? Have her killed? So you can be free of her?”
“No, of course not. I just wanted her out of your business.”
“And then what? The next step will be you demanding that I don’t see her at all. What has she actually done to you? Called you a cougar. Ooh, how terrible! It’s her manner, Pearl, she has a sharp tongue. If you only knew some of the stuff she’s said to me over the years you’d laugh out loud—”
“She called me a stalker and said you didn’t give a shit about me, that I was frigid and…and…”
“But that was over four months ago - she apologized several times and has been trying to make up for it ever since – she’s been trying, Pearl. Somebody who buys their future sister-in-law a one-of-a-kind Zang Toi wedding dress is not going to try and hurt you.”
“She’s been messing with my mind, sneaking in on my movie deal—”
“She came in on a bad movie deal that was sinking to save our asses! Why did she bail out Samuel Myers? Not just because she saw a good business opportunity but because you and I fucked up. We hadn’t done our homework. Samuel Myers was going broke! Yes, that’s right, the whole movie would have gone under because Samuel Myers wasn’t good for the money so Sophie came
in to make things right. He told you, himself, that he was having financial difficulties but you wouldn’t have it, wouldn’t believe him. You were so obsessed with Sophie doing a number on you that you wouldn’t listen to reason.”
“At what point did Sophie get involved?” I’m still trying to work out the Alessandra connection.
“I don’t know exactly but the timing was perfect for us all. Why did Sophie not tell us both, earlier? To save us from embarrassment. She thought she could subtly stay in the background and not get involved, except financially. She knew how much this project meant to you. And why did Samuel Myers, himself, not mention it earlier? Because of his pride. He’s a big shot producer, or at least was ‘till some deal went sour – he was hardly going to admit to you his state of affairs.”
My brain is racing a thousand miles an hour. “But that doesn’t make sense. It was my idea to have a woman for the role, my idea to take a chance on a gay actress.”
“Exactly, Sophie knew all that, knew how you wanted a woman, a more mature actress to play the lead – you’d mentioned that to her yourself at some point – why do you think Samuel Myers was so open to the idea? Because he didn’t have a choice. But as far as a gay actress was concerned it was Samuel Myers who put the idea of Alessandra Demarr into your head, wasn’t it? When Sophie found out about the mess he was in she took the opportunity to use Alessandra as leverage to make it all work out for everybody. And yes, now I realize that my sister did have an ulterior motive – to give Alessandra a chance to break into the movies – Sophie was giving her a leg up with her career. Sophie was doing all of us a fucking favor by coming on board. Me, you, Sam Myers, Alessandra – all of us would benefit.”
“Why did Alessandra pretend she didn’t know Sophie?” I ask with suspicion.
“Because Sophie hasn’t come out of the closet. She doesn’t want her marriage breaking up. She doesn’t want her step-daughter knowing she’s gay - Elodie has no idea. Alessandra was being discreet.”
“Did you know about Alessandra, that she and Sophie were lovers?”
“No, of course not or I would have said something when I saw how flirtatious she was being with you. Sophie never discusses her sex life with me anyway, why would I have known about Alessandra?”
I stammer, “She….Sophie…she had it all worked out…to demean me. To get her girlfriend to seduce me so I looked like a fool.”
“You’re really scraping the barrel now, aren’t you, Pearl. She got Alessandra on board the movie because a.) she was cheap and b.) she wanted her girlfriend to get a leading role in a film. Alessandra was basically going to do the part for free as long as she could rework the script. That was the deal. The fact that you then got into Alessandra’s panties had nothing to do with Sophie.”
“I didn’t get into her panties, she got into mine!”
“Six of one, half a dozen of the other, what difference does it make – you two made out, which, by the way, Sophie has no idea about.”
“Bullshit! Sophie set me up! They were in on it together.”
“Oh please. You think my sister is into BDSM after what she went through with our father? Or she’d want her own girlfriend fooling about with another woman? With whips and shit?”
“To punish me to—”
“Oh come on, Pearl, you’ve been gagging for a spanking ever since I’ve known you. You were up for it, Alessandra didn’t force you.”
I’m lost for words but know that I must be right somehow. I’m all tongue-tied but blurt out, “Sophie was mean to me when she and Elodie came for dinner, she was hinting that things were going to go wrong to ‘unravel’ themselves and…”
“You know Sophie’s English is bad and the translation comes out all wrong sometimes.”
I’m standing there stupefied. Everything Alexandre is saying makes sense yet…
“Come here, chérie. Let me give you one last kiss before we say goodbye.”
What?? Goodbye? I can feel my breath short, my stomach churning with terror. He’s leaving me. This is real. Anthony was right, I should have snapped Alexandre up when I had the chance. Oh my God!
He walks towards me and holds me tightly in his arms and then runs his fingers through my swimming pool-wet hair and says, “I’ll miss you baby, but there’s no way you and I are going to work out. I don’t want to play this cat and mouse game any longer. I want a stable relationship, I’m not into roller-coaster rides, sorry.”
“You’re splitting up with me?”
“You split us up last night, Pearl. Not me. You. You broke my heart. You made it clear that our two orange halves will have to go their own separate ways.”
“No! That’s not what I want at all!”
“You can say what you like, baby, but actions speak louder than words. You made your choice when you escaped out of that toilet window last night, leaving a waiting jet and a waiting fiancé like two pieces of discarded trash. Not to mention the reverend in Vegas, and a special surprise I had planned after our wedding.”
“What surprise?”
“It doesn’t matter now, it’s water under the bridge, it’s the past.”
The past? No, this can’t be happening!
He tilts my head back and kisses me. He presses his lips firmly on my mouth and I open it, craving his tongue, desperate for him, his taste, his everything. I wrap my arms around his back and hold him as close as is feasibly possible. Tears are burning in my eyes; my heart feels as if it’s ablaze. Our kiss gets deeper, more ravenous. Tingles dance in my groin, my panties are slick – I need him. I need him inside me, our bodies to be one – I need for us to make love. “Please, Alexandre, give me another chance,” I breathe into his mouth.
He pulls me off him slowly but with a firm grip. “No.”
“Is that all you can say? No?”
He steps backwards but stops and says, “Bye, Pearl. Keep that Mercedes, by the way. I bought it for you - bought it from the rental company, I figured you needed a car. They’ll be in touch. Later today you’ll receive a package from me. A new handbag, cell phone and other stuff. The diamond ring is yours to keep. And I’ve bought you a covered parking space around the corner from your apartment in Manhattan so you won’t have to move the Mercedes all the time when they do street cleaning – you know, otherwise you’ll end up with millions of parking tickets. Oh yes, I got you a pretty condo near Cap d’Antibes overlooking the Mediterranean – not far from where we stayed at the Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc; the deeds are in your name. In case you fancy a vacation now and then. You’ll love it. It comes with a parking spot, too, because the royal blue Porsche that you drove that lives in my house in Provence? She’s yours now – drive her with care. I’ll have her delivered there.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Is this all a joke?
But he continues on in a monotone, hardly stopping for breath. “Oh, and of course your Jim Dine and everything you’ve left at my apartment, your clothes and books and everything I’m having delivered to your new place on the Upper East Side. I’m renting somewhere for you because of your apartment being sublet. If you prefer it, let me know and I’ll buy it for you. Oh yes, and HookedUp Enterprises? I’ve done a sweet deal with Natalie. Sweet for her, that is, not me. You and she will be partners, fifty/fifty – I thought you’d be more comfortable that way. I know how you feel about Hollywood and the movie business so you can get back to doing what you’re truly good at – documentaries. My lawyers will send all the paperwork to you. You decide if the business idea appeals or not.”
I’m speechless, my jaw drops, my eyes are stinging with tears about to flood out at any moment. He has had this all planned out. Spent the day organizing everything to buy me off! He’s breaking up with me and giving me a ‘divorce’ settlement all in one go. There’s no going back now, he’s serious. I start sobbing. I think about Rex – no more walks in the park with him. My life as I know it is over - I’ve lost Alexandre forever.
A voice from above shouts into the garden, “What
the fuck is going on down there? What have you done to my sister?” It’s Anthony leaning out of his living room window glowering at Alexandre. But Alexandre ignores him.
“Bye Pearl, take care.” Alexandre squeezes my hand and walks off with purpose as if he can’t get away from me fast enough. The fact that he has been so generous when he didn’t have to be has made it all so much worse. I collapse on the lawn and roll into a fetal position howling with painful tears as if someone has stabbed me in the heart.
Because someone just has.
Chapter Fourteen
The only good thing that has come of this black hole in my life is my rekindled relationship with Anthony. We are closer than we ever have been - even before our mother died. He has made a three hundred and sixty degree turnaround – we have talked things through; the anger, the guilt, the blame on both sides about John. I’m clinging to him like never before.
Right now he’s my lifeline.
I stayed on several more days with him in San Francisco, moping about his apartment mainly, nursing my wounds. Alexandre only called once, to check a delivery had arrived: a beautiful red, Hermès Birkin handbag, replete with gift vouchers for Neiman Marcus and Barneys (‘to replace make-up or anything lost – about time you had a bag that suited you’, his note said) a new Smartphone and the keys to my new apartment. After making sure the number was going through okay, he hung up. He was polite but matter-of-fact as if I meant nothing to him at all.
I wailed for hours, cradling my designer bag like a dog with a bone – a sad reminder of what a fool I’d been to crawl through that ladies’ room window. Surely I could have done things differently? No wonder he’d had enough. Normal people don’t escape through toilet windows. Normal people don’t behave the way I have done.
A Birkin – all those times I’d been going about with my over-sized handbag and now, finally, this one was perfect. Still big enough to fit everything I needed inside but so stylish and chic. The perfect pocketbook named after the Francophile British actress, Jane Birkin, who fell in love with the sexy French singer, Serge Gainsbourg. It brought back with nostalgia the moment when Je T’aime….Moi Non Plus was playing, after Alexandre had dressed up as a fireman and just before he asked me to marry him.
Shadows of Pearl (The Pearl Trilogy, Part 2) Page 18
