How Not to Marry an Earl

by Christine Merrill

  If so, it was unfair. Mr Drake was an Englishman and had lived just down the street from them. It was clear that they were meant for each other. It was not as if Hope had fallen in love with an engaged American.

  She disengaged her arms from theirs, pushed her spectacles up the bridge of her nose and gave them her sternest look. ‘There is nothing more to tell about Potts.’

  They ignored her, pushing her into her bedroom and shutting the door.

  ‘If there is nothing to tell, how do you explain your hair?’ Faith said, snatching at a curl.

  Charity slapped her hand away. ‘Leave it be. There is nothing wrong with it.’

  ‘Has Dill forgotten how to braid it in that ghastly coronet you favoured?’

  Ghastly? Had it really been so bad? ‘I requested a change,’ Charity said.

  ‘Curls,’ Hope said with an ecstatic sigh. ‘I always knew you would look better with them.’

  ‘Indeed,’ Faith agreed. ‘The mysterious Mr Potts has put a curl in our little sister’s hair.’

  ‘And colour in her cheeks,’ Hope agreed. ‘Not to mention the ruffles and lace on the rest of her. Mr Potts is a worker of miracles.’

  ‘There is nothing miraculous about him,’ she replied. ‘Was nothing miraculous, I mean. He was an American hired by the Earl. And now he is gone.’

  ‘Is he, really?’ Hope said, raising her eyebrows.

  Faith gestured to another gown still lying on the bed. ‘Have you taken to changing for tea when you are in the house alone?’

  ‘So what if I have?’ Charity snapped. ‘There is nothing unusual about it. Nor is there anything strange about the gown I am wearing. Hope chose them for me when we were in London.’

  ‘And you refused to wear any of them,’ Faith reminded her. ‘But while we were gone, you have gone all ruffles and curls.’

  Hope was rummaging through the wardrobe. ‘Her dinner gowns smell of perfume. She has been wearing them.’

  ‘Now that you have finally left me alone, I have been doing the things you’ve been badgering me to do all year.’

  ‘For Mr Potts,’ Faith said.

  ‘He is a very interesting man,’ she allowed.

  ‘And very handsome,’ Hope added.

  ‘Not really,’ Charity lied.

  Hope looked at Faith and repeated, ‘Very handsome.’

  ‘You do not know him at all, so you cannot possibly make that assumption,’ Charity said.

  Faith ignored her logic and stared back at her. ‘Never mind how much we know about him. How well do you know Mr Potts?’

  Biblically.

  The temptation to announce the fact was almost irresistible. Instead, she answered, ‘He was here for several days. I was helping him with the audit.’

  ‘And is it going well?’ Hope asked. The question was innocent enough, but the meaning was something deeper.

  ‘Of course,’ Charity replied.

  ‘Show it to us,’ Faith said, arms folded.

  ‘There is nothing written down,’ she said, giving up the pretence.

  ‘Then what have you been doing, all this time?’ Hope said, smiling as if she knew.

  ‘We have been searching for the missing Comstock diamonds,’ she admitted.

  ‘And?’ Faith asked.

  ‘Playing chess,’ she added.

  ‘And?’ Hope asked.

  ‘Billiards,’ she concluded through gritted teeth.

  Her sisters shared a look of sympathetic frustration. Then Faith said, ‘If you were going to play games, I could recommend several that are even better than that.’

  ‘We are not supposed to be encouraging her,’ Hope reminded her.

  ‘But I cannot think of a better match than...Mr Potts,’ Faith said.

  ‘But chess?’ Hope shook her head. ‘Gentlemen do not like to be bested by ladies.’

  ‘He beat me,’ Charity said, unable to keep from smiling at the memory.

  Faith dropped into the chair by the vanity table, overcome with shock.

  ‘He gave up three pieces, to start, and still he beat me.’

  Hope sat on the edge of the bed, stunned to silence.

  ‘And he has been willing to listen to my ideas about the estate,’ she added. ‘Not that it matters. I doubt he will have any influence at all over Comstock.’

  ‘I would not be so sure,’ Hope said faintly and received a quelling glare from Faith.

  ‘Do not contradict your sister,’ Faith said, as if either of them had ever cared what Charity thought. Then she turned with an overly bright smile. ‘Suppose he decided to stay. If there was a position here on the estate and we could get him to return, would that please you?’

  More than anything in the world. She should have run to find him the moment she awoke. ‘What I want does not figure in the equation,’ she said at last, a lump rising in her throat.

  Hope clapped her hands together, as if a miracle had occurred. ‘You do want him to stay. Do not bother to deny it. And it is because you have fallen in love with him.’

  At the suggestion, Faith looked equally overjoyed. ‘I cannot think of a more perfect situation.’

  ‘Then you are not thinking hard enough,’ Charity snapped. ‘England is probably full of men who would be more suitable than Potts.’ And she did not want a single one of them.

  ‘It is normal to have doubts,’ Hope said.

  Faith nodded in agreement. ‘But the important thing is how he feels about you.’

  ‘If she has been dressing for dinner, I am sure he is favourably disposed,’ Hope said. ‘Her gowns are scandalously low-cut.’

  ‘Because you chose them for me,’ Charity said, exasperated.

  ‘Your bosom is your best feature,’ Hope said and Faith nodded in agreement.

  ‘My bosom is neither here nor there,’ Charity concluded.

  ‘To you, perhaps,’ Hope said. ‘But I dare say the gentleman you dined with has noticed it.’

  ‘She is blushing,’ Faith said, eyes narrowed as if it helped her see the truth.

  ‘One might even say you are glowing,’ Hope added.

  ‘Has he offered yet?’ Faith said.

  ‘Not to me.’

  ‘I am sure it is only a matter of time,’ Hope said. ‘He was probably waiting until the family arrived so he might surprise us.’

  ‘I think we have had surprises enough already,’ Faith reminded her. ‘We are all familiar with the mischief that happens when men and women in love are left alone together, but I never expected it of Charity.’

  ‘We are not in love,’ Charity insisted. Of course, she knew what she felt for him. But she had not managed to say it out loud and he had done nothing to make her think the statement would be reciprocated.

  ‘If you do not think that is what has happened here, then you are more naïve than I thought possible,’ Faith said, with the superior air of an older sister. ‘Mr Potts will be staying, whether you expect him to or not. And, after what has happened between you, we all expect an offer to be forthcoming.’

  ‘Do not make us summon Grandmama,’ Hope said. ‘She talks a good game when it comes to liberal behaviour. But that will change immediately once she has seen the two of you together.’

  ‘We are not likely to be together, ever again,’ Charity insisted. ‘Even if we were, I do not want my family forcing him into an offer that he does not wish to make.’

  For a moment, her sisters stared at her in silence. Then both tried to talk at once. ‘Why ever not? Is there another gentleman? Are you waiting for someone? What possessed you?’

  The questions were coming faster than she could answer. She held up a hand to halt them.

  ‘We discussed the matter between us, before we began. We had agreement.’ And yet she had been ready to break it as soon as it was time for him to go.

>   ‘An agreement not to marry?’ Faith practically shouted at her. ‘Then we have been misled. The man is no gentleman.’

  Hope reached out quickly, glancing towards the hall as if afraid that someone might hear. ‘Now, Sister. Let us not jump to conclusions on his motives. He is not here to question.’

  Then she smiled at Charity with false brilliance. ‘But since Charity is involved, I am sure that there is a perfectly logical explanation as to why we should not start gathering orange blossoms. Is there another man involved? Are you waiting to meet the Earl of Comstock, perhaps?’

  At this, Charity laughed aloud. ‘Whatever gave you such a daft idea?’

  ‘There is nothing daft about the notion of marrying our American cousin,’ Hope said.

  ‘Of course you would say so. You wished to marry him yourself,’ Charity reminded her.

  ‘And then I met Mr Drake,’ Hope said. ‘But if there had not been Gregory, I would not have minded overly, settling for Miles Strickland.’

  ‘And he is the last man on earth I would want to marry.’

  ‘It is unfair of you to judge the man before you have even met him,’ Faith said.

  ‘He might be just the sort of fellow to suit you,’ Hope added.

  ‘Or he might be exactly like our grandfather was,’ Charity reminded her.

  ‘Grandfather was not so very bad,’ Faith demurred.

  ‘To you, perhaps. But that was because you agreed with him. He locked me out of the library and threatened to give the books away, since they made me unmanageable.’

  ‘They were only threats,’ Hope reminded her. ‘The library is as complete as it ever was.’

  ‘You were lucky that he was not the sort to result to violence,’ Faith said. ‘Since he was the head of the family, he had a right to discipline the children in his house however he saw fit.’

  ‘He could have whipped me from now until judgement. But that would not have changed the fact that I was right and he was wrong,’ Charity declared. ‘If he had listened to any of my suggestions, we might not be in the mess we are in.’

  ‘You must be sure to inform the new Earl of the fact, when we manage to find him,’ Hope said, smiling.

  There was a sharp rap on the door and the sound of muttering male voices in the hall.

  Without waiting for Charity’s permission, Faith opened it and let her husband and Mr Drake into the room.

  ‘There is no sign of him,’ Mr Leggett said. ‘His horse is still in the stable and the stable boys know nothing about any proposed trip.’

  ‘I spoke to Chilson, who is beside himself with worry,’ Drake supplied. ‘Apparently, there was an altercation in the hall today.’

  ‘That is nonsense,’ Charity insisted. The house had been quiet until her family had arrived, expecting to find the Earl. She and Potts had parted in silence, at dawn. The joyful noise made before that had been done in a wing empty of servants.

  ‘A groom struck him,’ Drake said, ignoring her interruption.

  ‘For what reason?’

  ‘It was at Chilson’s instruction.’ Mr Drake glanced at her and then back at her sisters. ‘Since he cannot be found, the butler fears that the matter may have got out of hand. The groom has been summoned back to the house to explain what happened to him, after the attack.’

  ‘Good Lord,’ Leggett said, wiping his brow. ‘He will have all of our heads.’

  ‘If he is alive to do so,’ Drake said glumly.

  ‘Who are you talking about?’ Charity interrupted.

  ‘Comstock,’ the two men said in unison.

  ‘What reason would they have to strike the Earl?’ she said, now truly baffled.

  Mr Drake looked past her, to her sisters. ‘Apparently, it was a matter of honour, involving Charity.’

  Everyone stared at her, waiting for an explanation.

  She stared back. ‘I have no idea what could have given him such an idea. I have never met the new Comstock and he has done nothing to me that would result in the servants springing to my defence.’

  There was another significant silence as the entire family stared at her.

  Then Faith said, ‘You have never met the Earl.’

  ‘No,’ she said again. ‘I have not.’ She had met another American instead. One who came from the same city and arrived at the same time that the villagers reported seeing the Earl. A man who had been as interested in finding the diamonds as he had been in understanding the running of the estate.

  A man who had sat at her grandfather’s desk as though he belonged there even though he did not look like an earl, or talk like an earl, or act like an earl. He had been far too reasonable to be a member of the peerage. Nor did he look anything like a member of the family. They had been through the portrait gallery from one end to the other and she had not seen a single part of him that looked as if his picture would end up hanging with the rest of them.

  ‘Potts,’ she said, still unable to believe it.

  There was a knock on the door and Mr Leggett opened it and stepped out into the hall to question Hoover, the groom.

  Faith shook her head in pity. ‘It is Comstock’s business why he would tell such an outlandish story. Or why he would involve us in deceiving you. But really, Charity, I have no idea why you would be so foolish as to believe him.’

  He had lied to her from the very first moment he’d met her. If he could lie about a thing like his name, then there was no telling what the truth of the rest might be.

  ‘Never mind that now, dear,’ Hope said in a gentle tone. ‘Can you tell us what has happened to him?’

  ‘I have no idea.’ Other than that the new Earl of Comstock might have run away to America leaving them all to fend for themselves.

  ‘He is in a bedroom in the old wing,’ Leggett said from the doorway. ‘The servants are under the impression that you wanted him detained until the magistrate could be called, for stealing the dining-room silver.’

  ‘I said no such thing,’ she insisted, feeling sorry for the mistake until she remembered the horrible trick that he had played on her. ‘But if that is what happened to him, then I am glad of it. I do not care if he never gets out.’

  ‘Are you forgetting that he is not some American nobody? He is the Earl of Comstock.’ Mr Leggett appeared ready to shout at her for the utter stupidity of her behaviour. But his wife threw up a hand of warning and he fell silent.

  ‘Show us,’ Faith said to the groom.

  ‘Oh, yes, Hoover,’ Charity agreed. ‘Take us to him so that I can say to his face what I said to you all, right now.’

  As she walked, she heard the worried murmurs from her sisters as they dissected the story of her first love, creating a far more interesting version of it than the truth had been.

  ‘Broken heart...’

  ‘Poor dear...’

  ‘Should have known better...’

  She had a good mind to turn on them and give them a taste of what lay in store for Potts. Perhaps she should have been smart enough to see the truth. But she was sure that her heart had not been broken since she could hear the blood pounding in her ears with each step. He had made a fool of her. The whole family had, for they’d arrived at the house knowing exactly who he was, fully aware that she had no clue. Then, rather than telling her the truth, they had allowed her to go on in ignorance while they’d laughed at her.

  Her sisters’ whispers were far off the mark. But Mr Leggett had a far more accurate assessment. She distinctly heard him say something that ended with ‘...safer where he is.’

  When she arrived at the place where the servants had imprisoned the perfidious Miles Strickland, she gave the door handle a rattle. ‘Comstock!’ She rattled again, but it did not want to give way. ‘I have come back to give you what you deserve.’

  When he did not answer, she shouted again, ‘Comstock! You liar, ope
n this door.’

  Mr Drake put her gently to the side and tried the handle himself. When it did not give to his touch, he pulled a penknife from his pocket and thrust it into the gap between the door and frame. After a few moments’ patient jiggling, there was a click as the bolt slid back and the door could be opened.

  She lunged forward, ready to confront the Earl, only to be brought up short by her sisters grabbing her arms and pulling her back.

  ‘Now, now, Charity,’ Hope said softly. ‘You must give the man a chance to recover.’

  ‘He has nothing to recover from,’ she said. The groom shuffled nervously from side to side as she struggled to break free. ‘But he will once I get hold of him. He’s had three days of chances to tell me the truth and has not taken any of them.’

  Mr Drake opened the door, stuck his head into the room and called, ‘My lord?’ Then he threw it wide and stepped into the room, coming out a moment later.

  He looked at Hoover. ‘Are you sure this was the room?’

  The white-faced groom gave a solemn nod.

  She yanked her arms free of sisterly restraint and went into the room. ‘Do not try my patience further, Comstock. You owe me an explanation.’ But there was no point in lecturing him.

  She was talking to an empty room.

  Chapter Nineteen

  She had managed to lose the Earl of Comstock.

  Actually, the servants had. But since everyone was convinced that they had done it at her behest, she was the one likely to be blamed for it.

  Charity did not overly mind the fact. If hell had opened and swallowed him whole, he would have wholeheartedly deserved it. She could not exactly blame him for seducing her. That had been totally her idea. But she’d never have suggested it had she known who he was.

  There was no reason to lie to her. Yet he had done it from the first moment to the last. If he had told her who he was and said he wanted to leave, she would have packed his bags and helped him go. Instead, he had lied.

  The servants were searching the house, top to bottom, but had found no sign of him. She had told them of his habit of climbing down drainpipes, but the window of his prison had not had so much as a scrap of ivy to cling to. The door had been locked from the outside, just as the servants had left it. There was no obvious way out of the room.