by Barbra Novac
Chloe let her words fall away. She felt little uncomfortable blurting this out to Max as if they didn’t have feelings for each other. But he had encouraged her to go on the date. She couldn’t work out what he was happy to hear and what might give him some pain. And she really didn’t want to give him any pain.
As if reading her thoughts, he said, It’s okay. I am the one who thinks you should have two men, remember? Please go on. I am happy that you went on this date tonight.
Satisfied with that response, Chloe continued and told Max about James and their evening together, and that she thought she may have scared him off. There was a long pause, and Chloe thought she might have lost him for a while. Then Max came back with, Scared him off? I find that very strange. I don’t quite understand. Is there anything that you told him that you haven’t told me?
Suddenly Chloe felt very wary. She couldn’t face losing both these men in the one night.
I don’t want to tell you.
Why is that?
Because you will probably run too, and that is too much to bear. I don’t want you to go anywhere.
Do you like both of us?
Yes. I really do. Then for the second time that night, the dam burst on Chloe’s emotions. I want both of you. I know that is weird, and I am a horrible person for saying that, but I can’t bear the thought of losing either of you. The conversation I have with you I want to continue, and the conversation I have with James is essential to my salvation as well. I can’t stand it, but I need both of you. Chloe paused, surprised by the honesty of her outburst. She was relieved when she saw Max reply, realising she hadn’t scared him away as well.
You should remember it was me who said that was a good idea all along. I gave you books about two women who lived like that. Or do you forget these things?
Chloe was about to answer when Max went off-line. She tried to message him back but couldn’t get his attention. Something had happened. He’d had a power outage or some sort of computer failure. Chloe smiled when she thought how nervously he must be trying to get back online to be with her when he knew she was so upset.
Max’s message had soothed her, however. She decided that she would not tell Max about her mother for fear of losing him as well. Messaging with him had made her more lucid, and she started to think about what had happened between her and James. Really, it was very strange, and his response severe. What if she had misjudged the entire response? He had said that he would call her; perhaps he would. Perhaps she had only imagined that he was so upset, and in fact, he needed to calm down, and then he would call her.
Good Lord, thought Chloe. It could be anything. She knew nothing about him, but perhaps he’d lost his mother in the same way?
A new emotion spilled over Chloe, and she felt like a foolish child. She’d thought of only one possible scenario and imposed that interpretation on the moment instead of actually listening to what James said to her. He told her he needed to go. He wept. He said he would call her. She had run away assuming that to be a lie, but nothing in his eyes gave her that impression, only her own fears.
She walked into her bedroom, suddenly very tired. She’d overreacted, and she felt like a fool. Her response had only complicated matters, not spared her anything at all. She flopped onto the bed, her head spinning.
Thinking about the two of them, and the words Max had said, made Chloe wonder if she could ever have them both. How would that work? Would James just disappear when she needed time online with Max? Would James be okay with her masturbating and watching Max do the same online? That didn’t really make any sense. Max said it was all possible, but it seemed to be less of an imposition for Max. He wouldn’t be around anyway, and maybe he had other female lovers.
Still, Chloe couldn’t help thinking of James’s beautiful smile and that cheeky look as he leaned over her. He would lean in and kiss her lips, making them quiver and melting the heat through her tired, cold self. He would lay heavy on her body and kiss her until he’d made a river between her legs.
Chloe closed her eyes and stretched out, cat lazy, thinking of James lifting himself off her and lying by her side while Max rolled over toward her and kissed her on the lips. The feel of his gentleman’s hands on her breasts, on her belly, and on the rounds of her hips. He would kiss her, lapping and sucking on her tongue gently, playing little teasing games with his own tongue, and James would lean down and suckle on her naked breast. She would feel that tongue going south while her lips were nibbled and licked. James could dip his tongue momentarily into the swirl of her navel before continuing downward.
Chloe imagined James parting her legs and settling himself between them. Max’s kisses would be fevered, while James licked the outside of her labia, teasing her, making the inside lips ache with anticipatory pleasure. Then Max would roam his mouth down to her nipple, nibbling, kissing, and licking before he came back to her mouth, as James would run his hot tongue up and down the still-closed lips of her sex.
Chloe’s eyes flew open with a start. What was that? The doorbell? She lay for a second, her pussy dripping and aching for release, when she heard her own doorbell again.
For no sensible reason, she imagined it must be James. His return was sooner than anticipated, and he’d come to explain everything. Hopefully, Chloe thought as she took a tissue between her legs to clean up a little, he’ll fuck me.
Skipping to the door, Chloe ripped off the chain and flung it open.
It was Gary. Horrified, Chloe stood there like a stunned rabbit, not knowing what to do. She looked a state from crying, and not only that, she smelled of sex. This was the last thing she needed. She couldn’t get her thoughts together in time. Gary stepped into the hall before Chloe had the foresight to close the door on him. Instead, he grabbed the door from her and slammed it shut himself.
“Gary, this is illegal. If you leave now, I won’t press charges, but you absolutely can’t stay. What are you doing here? This is too bad.”
He looked at her with the hot anger she had seen there before.
“I waited for you, you stupid little bitch. I, who am way too good for you, waited for you, and now you think you can reject me? I am the best you could possibly get, and if you didn’t write such high tickets on yourself, you’d know that. I am the one who will save you from this artistic bullshit. And I am the only one who knows how to do it.”
Chloe knew now she was dealing with a mad person. She had to get him out of her house and then call the police. But she’d let him in. Through her own foolishness, the same foolishness that had let her down all night, she’d let him in through her own front door.
However, for a moment Gary seemed distracted by what he could see around the hall. He looked at the cloth that created the blue tinge and into her red-tinted bedroom. He saw her mother’s paintings. Chloe could see a new kind of anger rising up in him.
He grabbed a handful of the blue muslin and shook it at her. “Is this how you spend your time here? Making these stupid decorations for your home? Look at this place. You live in an Arab’s tent. You’re mad, Chloe. You’re already mad, and there is nothing that I can do to help you, except take you away from this and never let you return.”
Turning away from her, he pulled hard on the blue muslin, and Chloe heard a tearing sound. Horrified, but more awake now, she ran to the sewing room as Gary moved to her bedroom. She heard a crash as she pulled the sewing room door shut and locked it with the key in order to keep Gary out of there. She took the key and hid it in the kitchen as she heard another crash from her bedroom.
Turning swiftly, she knew she had to get out of the apartment. She could run for the back door; Gary was at the other end of the house, and she’d get there first. With this strategy in mind, she ran for it, just as she felt his force knock her over. Clamouring forward, Gary used the full force of his body weight on her. It was hard for Chloe to breathe, but still she managed a shrill scream at the top of her lungs. She screeched out a cracked cry for help as Gary tried to block her
mouth with his hand, but he was too late.
A second later, the doorbell was ringing, and a voice outside called out, “You in there, come out now so I can see you.”
Gary froze on top of her, and Chloe was able to pull her knee up and make a lopsided connection with his groin that was close enough to throw him off guard. He rolled, and Chloe sprang out from under him and ran to the front door. She opened it to see a police officer standing there. A surge of relief welled through Chloe, immediately bringing tears to her eyes.
“What’s going on here? You all right, ma’am?”
“No! No, I’m not. That man has attacked me.”
Gary still lay on the floor toward the back of the apartment. The police officer asked him to come over and talk to him. Gary , defeated and sullen, did as he was told and walked toward the officer.
“Lovers’ quarrel, officer. I guess it got out of control,” Gary said sulkily.
Chloe was furious, but she kept her composure. She knew it would be essential in this moment.
“Officer, he wasn’t invited in here. He pushed his way in when I answered the door. I do know him; he’s a colleague from work. I had clearly asked him to leave. And we are not, nor will we ever be, lovers.”
The police officer looked at Gary with tired eyes. “Is this your apartment?”
“No.”
“Were you invited over here by this lady tonight?”
Gary looked at Chloe with the same pleading eyes he’d used on her at work. Chloe, wild with anger, froze to the spot.
“Answer the man, Gary,” she said.
Gary put on a sulky face. “No.” He almost spat.
“Get out. I want to ask this woman if she’s going to press charges.”
Gary looked over at Chloe with pleading eyes as he walked out. The officer looked at Chloe.
“I don’t want to go to court over this, officer, but I don’t feel safe. He asked me out recently, and I said no, and I am afraid he may make more trouble for me.”
“I’ll make a report and take it down to the office. It’s lucky for you I was visiting next door; I heard the scream. I will file the report, and I want you to go down in the morning and back it all up. I think, if what you’re saying is true, you will need to get a restraining order on this guy. That may be all you need. Oh, and you need to tell your boss at work. You don’t want to get him into serious trouble, but that will scare him off. It’s usually enough with guys like this.” The officer looked at her for a moment and then continued. “Will you be all right tonight, ma’am?”
“I think so. I can’t imagine he’ll be back now.”
“Here is my card. I’m two blocks away. I recommend you tell a neighbour -- make it Mrs. Grace next door. I was dropping in on her tonight. She’ll call me if she hears anything funny in your apartment. We could hear the whole carry-on in here tonight. Was it him that broke your stuff?”
Chloe looked around and saw that three of her mother’s paintings had been taken off the wall and smashed.
“Yes,” she said absently, suddenly very weary.
“Well, that’s serious. Make a note of all that stuff and get a restraining order out on this guy tomorrow.”
Chloe thanked him and closed the door. She grabbed her keys and went to see Mrs. Grace and spoke with her briefly regarding her situation. Mrs. Grace seemed very worried for her but happy that she had been able to help.
Finally, feeling safe, Chloe locked the door to her apartment and went about locking all the windows and making sure the doors were locked. Grabbing her mobile phone, she took photos of the smashed, ripped, and torn things, ready to see the police in the morning.
She hopped back on her computer one last time in order to download the photos so that they were safe. She saw immediately that Max was online and waiting for her. Chloe burst into tears.
She logged on. As soon as Max replied, she told him about Gary. She spilled her little aching heart out, that heart that had endured so much that day and had gone through so many difficulties. Chloe felt exhausted, emotionally and physically. It was all too much, and she wished she had him by her, with strong arms about her to hold her and care for her.
My darling, my poor darling. I am so sorry that you had to bear such horrible difficulties. I wish I were there to care for you. And I really think that it is time you let me into your life to do that.
If she thought nothing else could surprise her tonight, she looked up at his face through her camera now.
You…want to meet? Chloe typed.
Yes. Something happened tonight. I had to go off-line for a while. But I want to see you. And I want to see you very soon. I am worried for your safety, but even more than that, I want to hold you and be with you. I really think it is important.
Events are taking me in so many different directions tonight. The plans I laid for myself to keep me safe are crumbling inside me.
Please, Chloe.
All right! Chloe typed, lifting her arms in despair. What else can I say but all right? Certainly nothing you can throw at me can be as difficult a roller-coaster ride as I have endured tonight.
Chapter Fifteen
The next day at work, Chloe went directly to her boss with a statement from her neighbour and the police officer’s number and details. In her interview, she explained what happened. Keeping the details as succinct and emotionless as possible, she explained that she had no intention of pressing charges, but she wanted Gary kept away from her, and she wanted her work to support her in the fact.
Her boss explained that this was extremely serious, but because Gary was on another floor, it wouldn’t be hard to keep him away. She was asked to make a report to the equal opportunity department, something Chloe did happily right away.
About twenty minutes after she sat at her desk, her boss called her in again. He explained that Gary hadn’t been at work for the last four days. A creeping fear moved in on Chloe. A little shaken, Chloe went back to her desk. Her heart raced, and she phoned the police officer to report the facts about Gary missing work.
Other than that, work was its usual dull experience. People came and went. Life went on and nothing really changed.
Except Chloe. Chloe could feel herself changing. First, the conversations with Max, then the oh-so-special date with James, and yes, even the drama with Gary was showing her that she could handle the dangers of an emotive life of excesses. The inevitability of her falling into a life of drug addiction or clinging to self-destruction had faded somewhat. Her mother’s troubles, Chloe began to reason, came perhaps from isolation and not from the connection she felt with the artistic community… The destructive, shallow nature of the few connections she did make couldn’t be the basis for a judgement on the entire way of life.
That sort of lifestyle was hard for a person with a deep and complex soul, and even harder to maintain beyond an interest level. Chloe’s mother had become more isolated after her connection with the artists. However, now that Chloe had a small connection of her own she started to see that there was life in the community, not just the possibility of death. Her mother had not set herself free, and she was too isolated. Chloe felt sure if she connected with Max and with James, and maybe even with others, that possibility would open up for her, and she could make herself safe from the fears that lived a fruitful life inside her.
That night Chloe sat in front of her computer, dressed in her bottle green mock-up of Frida Kahlo's wedding dress, searching the webby tendrils of the Net for Max. He was late, but he turned up. He put his webcam on, adjusted the sounds levels so they could speak, and the two Internet lovers smiled at each other.
“Sorry I’m late tonight, beautiful Chloe. I was busy on my little farm here.”
“You know, we’ve never talked about your farm. Perhaps you should tell me all about it.”
“Someday I will, my darling, but for now, you are a far more interesting subject. What a beautiful green dress you are wearing. Who are you tonight?”
“Why ton
ight, good sir, I am the beautiful and talented Frida Kahlo.”
“Ah, an excellent choice. No doubt she will make you feel very brave. Have you read the books I gave you yet?”
“Well, not read exactly, but I have glanced through. They are sitting by my bedside.”
“I want to draw your attention to a beautiful lace shift that Anaïs Nin wears. I can’t remember the page. It’s somewhere toward the middle I think.”
Chloe could hear his deep, sonorous voice melting across her speakers, but Max looked a little sad tonight. Or tired or something that made him slightly lilting.
“I’ll get it in just a second. Are you okay? You seem a little flat tonight.”
Chloe detected a hint of pleasure in her recognition of his state when he responded. “My stunning, wonderful Chloe, I have had some rather amazing news in the last twenty-four hours, and I am sad and happy and in awe at the same time. Everything is fine, and one day, I will tell you all about the news I received. But at the moment, I really want you to look at that costume for me.”
Chloe smiled an exaggerated smile into the camera so he could see it and then raced off toward her bedroom to get the book.
Glancing at the book he recommended, she turned to the page she thought he meant. Anaïs wore the most beautiful lace shift, in midnight black, the shadowy traces and delicious curves of her sexual self showing through. It was already marked as Chloe’s favourite picture, and she was sure Max intended her to see it.
Back online, she held it up for him. “Was this the one you meant?”
“Yes, and of course you have already found it. Have you already started to recreate it?”
“Yes.”
They both laughed. Then Max grew suddenly serious.
“Chloe, I want you to make that dress. Will it take you long?”
“I’ve already started. It’s a very simple design. If I can get the right lace, which may be tricky, I can have it made before the weekend.”
