“We’re fine, Taber.” He teased his finger along the back of her hand. “Let me plug this back in and you can see everything is fine.”
“Why?” Tired of this constant fear and needing light, she let go of the lamp. “What will the neighbors think? What if they call the police?”
“Stop worrying, we have the situation under control. The neighbors on both sides of this safe house are shifters. Even if they heard anything, no one is going to call the police.” Light filled the room and he stood. “You’re pale and your heart is still racing. Sit down on the bed.”
“What? Why the bed?” He didn’t answer her. Instead, he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed. The moment his arms wrapped around her, the tension within her seemed to ease. It only confused her more. His words from earlier echoed within her thoughts. You feel it, too… She hadn’t been sure whether she understood what he meant. Now, the knowledge burned within her and she almost wished she was naïve again. “Why do you constantly avoid my questions? Do you know how annoying it is?”
“It would only bring you more anxiety. The truth will not offer security or bring peace of mind to what you’re going through right now, and I can’t have you running away.” He sat down on the bed, keeping her in his arms. “Here’s one of your questions answered. The bed…because it’s easier for me to hold you. I told you before, the current you feel when we touch was the beginning. My touch helps ease the turmoil going on within you. It also can make pain more bearable. That’s why I continued to touch you when we found you. That and…”
“And what?”
“I was terrified we wouldn’t make it to you in time.” He pushed her hair out of her face. “When we did, all I wanted to do was hold you in my arms. Instead, I come out to find you beating Ambrose and taking off.”
“I thought he was with Donovick. They’re the same, and Donovick let him go after he attacked me. How could I think anything else?”
“Ambrose wasn’t in the right state of mind. His actions were out of character for him.” Carran slid his hand down her arms, teasing along her bare skin with a feathery touch. “The man who saved you, that’s who he really is. He’d never hurt you and he was never working with Donovick. You say they are the same, but beyond the fact they’re both shifters, they’re completely different. Do you think I’m the same as Donovick?”
“What?” Her brows arched closer together as she looked at him in a mixture of surprise and confusion. “Of course not. Why would you ask that? I wouldn’t be here if I did.”
“Then what did you mean by they’re the same?”
Silently, she sat there for a moment and tried to make sense of her thoughts. The idea of Carran being like Donovick had never crossed her mind, even if they both were able to shift into an animal at will. Donovick had been her partner and someone she had considered a friend. She thought she knew him and in the end she knew nothing about him. She had just met Carran and knew nothing about him, but there was something between them that was unlike anything she had experienced with anyone before. It was as if she knew him on a different level.
“So?” Carran watched her intently, waiting for her to answer.
“That’s what Ambrose said. When we stopped him, he was rambling about how they were the same and if they found out he’d be killed. At the time it didn’t make sense, but now…” She let her words trail off with a deep exhale. “He was so focused on Donovick, I took the opportunity to try to bring him down. I holstered my gun and pulled out the non-lethal electroshock weapon, hoping to take him to the ground while he spoke with my partner. It wouldn’t have been the first time one of us distracted a perp while the other took him down. But Donovick yelled for me to stop…”
“That’s when Ambrose realized what your plans were,” Carran supplied.
Her lungs burned from the lack of air and her chest tightened as she fought not to go back to that alleyway. “He shifted and lunged at me. Donovick did nothing. He was my partner. I could have been killed!”
“You weren’t.” Carran cupped the side of her cheek and guided her to look at him. “You’re safe. You have my word.”
“For now. But you wouldn’t have brought me here if I wasn’t still in danger. Donovick and Lieutenant Dixon are dead, but how many other enemies have I made? What about Donovick’s pack? Should I expect them to find me? How long before one of my new enemies kills me?” She twisted around to put her feet on the ground, but he kept his arms locked around her waist, keeping her where she was. “Law enforcement is always the enemy until someone needs us, but the new enemies are different. It’s not just that they are shifters, and of course I was no match against them, but this…this is personal. They aren’t after me because of the uniform I wear, but because of who I am. I’ve found myself on unfamiliar ground and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“I’m going to take care of this and you will be safe. No one will come after you. For me to do this, you have to trust me.”
“This isn’t like at the barn. You can’t just kill them and this will all go away.” She pulled out of his embrace and stood. The moment she did, the weight of the situation settled around her again.
“That’s not the plan. Arrangements have already been made. I’m meeting with the Alpha of the pack in the morning. Now come here.”
She forced herself to take a step back and avert her gaze to anything but him. “I can’t. Your embrace is like a veil covering my eyes, making the situation seem better than it is. I need to think clearly.” No matter the cost. She took in the room again, focusing on the swirl within the wallpaper, following each one with her gaze, around and around. “Why did Ambrose roar?”
“From the loss of his mate, the control he has over his beast is still frayed. His control has grown since we found him, but it’s not restored completely yet. Because his animal is still close to the surface, the emotions of seeing his daughter again became vocal. He’s lost so much and thought he’d lose her, too. He’s overwhelmed with the bliss of being able to hold his little girl again. When my backup arrived, Kyra was with them. She was in the SUV with Galen while the others were with us at the barn. We waited until we were back here at the safe house before we reunited them, just in case Ambrose had any issues.”
Unable to keep her attention trained away from him, she turned back to take him in. How close was his animal to the surface? If one could lose control like Ambrose had, how could they be trusted? Sitting there on the bed, his long hair flowing over his shoulders, gray stripes throughout, he appeared at ease. Was he as close to losing it as Ambrose had? She watched as the corners of his lips arched up into a grin until his eyes seemed to twinkle with amusement.
“What?” she asked.
“You don’t have to worry about us losing control. Rogues are rare. The loss of a mate is one thing that could turn even the strongest shifter. You couldn’t cause as much pain to someone if you ripped out their heart. Mates are interconnected on multiple levels and losing one kills something within you.”
“How do you know this?”
“My father went through it.”
The words were whisper soft, but the pain was evident, making her want to go to him. There was more to the story, but something told her the topic was closed.
Before she could say anything, he spoke. “The emotions of a shifter can be felt by others within a clan. Ambrose left his lion pride when he mated and now with her dead, the clan has rejected him, making him a lone shifter. Right now, he doesn’t have the energy to block his emotions from those he’s around, and because of this, we’re able to feel it.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Come here.” He held his hand out to her. “Take my hand and I’ll show you.”
Not knowing what to expect, she crossed the space to stand in front of him and looked down at his hand as if it was a snake that might attack. “How will this work?”
“We’re mates, and once the bond is cemented, my emotions will be accessible to you.
Through that bond I can open you to those around us or my clan, which could keep you safe if we were ever in a difficult situation. Now it will allow you to get a hint of what’s happening with Ambrose. You don’t trust him, but this might make you feel more comfortable with him.”
“Or it could have the opposite effect.” She wasn’t sure she wanted to know anything, but she slipped her hand into his. At first, all she felt was the soothing current that arose every time they touched. “Nothing’s happ…” The words caught in her throat as a flood of emotions rushed into her. It was as if she was standing on the beach, and wave after wave slammed into her until she wanted to stumble back out of the surf.
Grief that tightened her chest came first and nearly knocked her over with the force behind it. The tightness eased as the rest came, until she could almost see him holding his daughter and the gratefulness radiated toward her. That little girl meant everything to him and he’d left her behind out of fear he’d hurt her. The connection gave her an insight she’d have missed by just looking at him. He was a good man and Carran was right, Ambrose wouldn’t have attacked her if he was thinking straight. Focusing on that, she dug deeper, holding Carran’s hand tighter as if that would make the connection stronger. Something was there, something red.
Carran pulled his hand out of hers. “That’s enough.”
“What…” She stumbled back a step and let her hand fall to her side. “What was that?”
“Nothing.” He rubbed his hands down the thighs of his jeans but wouldn’t make eye contact with her.
“Don’t tell me it was nothing. It was…” She didn’t know how to describe what she’d seen and felt. It was like a living Hell.
“That’s just it, Brooklynn.” He looked back at her, sadness gleaming in his eyes. “It’s nothing. The void of everything that ever mattered to you. Once the beast takes over, it’s said your world turns red. You’re full of rage, your thoughts are so jumbled that you can’t make sense of them, and everyone seems to be coming after you. That’s what you saw. If I didn’t end the connection, you’d have felt his paranoia, his fury, and his need to inflict his misery onto everyone else.”
“Have you…ever…” Uncertain whether she wanted to know, she stumbled over her words before falling silent.
“Been close to going rogue?” Instead of giving her a chance to answer, he continued, “No. There was a time when I thought I’d go mad with guilt and regret, but I kept a tight hold on my tiger.”
Chapter Nine
Memories of those day sprouted in Carran’s thoughts like weeds in a garden. No matter how he tried to pluck them, they continued to pop up. Losing Cas had almost broken him and even to this day he didn’t know how he’d managed to keep his tiger under control. All he’d wanted to do was give in to the beast and let the pain, grief, and regret pass him by. It was something he would always carry with him, but instead of letting it consume him, he let it fuel him to help others. When he found the Alaskan Tigers, it gave him a cause. Now that he was one of the Elder Guards, he was finding a new reason to carry on.
If I could wrap my fingers around that promotion…
He longed to be part of the Queen of the Tigers’ Guards. While he had the backing of Felix, the Captain of Tabitha’s Guards, he needed Ty’s as well. He hoped this mission would prove he was ready to be a permanent addition, not only a temporary fill-in.
“How does he regain complete control?” Brooklynn questioned, not quite meeting his gaze. “You said Ambrose’s lion is still on the surface and the control he has over his beast is still frayed.”
“That’s different for everyone and it also depends on how much the beast was let off the leash. For Ambrose, being around people like himself has helped. More than that, being reacquainted with his daughter will bring him back to the right path. He’ll fight it so he can be with her.” He stood and he took a step closer to her before stopping. The desire to touch her ate at him, even for just a moment, but he resisted. He had to give her space to figure things out. “You’ve been through a lot and tomorrow…well, we don’t know what it will bring. Why don’t you get some sleep?”
“One more thing.” This time she closed the distance and came to stand right in front of him. Her chest pressed against the front of him and she rose up on her toes to press her lips to his cheek. “Thank you for coming after me.”
“Carran, phone—it’s Ty,” Taber hollered from down the hall.
Ignoring him for the moment, Carran told her, “No need to thank me.” This time, he didn’t stop himself from touching her. Slowly, he ran his hands up her arms until he got to her shoulders. It wasn’t enough for his beast and he wanted to lift her into his arms and kiss her until she wrapped her legs around his waist.
“Carran,” Taber called again.
“I’m coming,” he snapped, dropping his hands from her shoulders. “If you need anything, I’m across the hall. Don’t leave.”
“I won’t.” When he raised an eyebrow at her, she added, “You have my word. Even if I wanted to, where would I go? The wolves are after me and who knows who else from my department. Right now, I’d rather live than run away.”
Leaving the room, the weight of her words hung in the air. Run away. She still saw them as people she needed to escape. His mate couldn’t wait to get as much distance between them as she could, while he wanted nothing more than to push her down on the bed and claim her. He had only known her for a few hours, yet she was already overtaking his thoughts and his body ached for her touch.
He needed to stay focused on the situation with the Donovick pack. Once he handled that, he could worry about convincing her that she was right where she needed to be, with him, and claim her as his mate.
“Mine.” He growled as he rounded the corner to the living room and almost walked into Taber.
“I thought bears were notorious for being the grumpy ones.” Taber held the phone out to him.
Carran had been around the Brown brothers long enough to know that they could live up to the grumpy bear comments, but they were a great addition to the Alaskan Tigers. Ignoring Taber, he brought the phone to his ear. “Ty?”
“After you didn’t answer your phone twice, I called Taber. This is urgent. The pack’s Alpha demands a meeting now. He’s unwilling to wait until morning as arranged.” His Alpha didn’t bother with greetings and got straight to the point.
“Fuck.” Carran moved farther away from the living room and into the kitchen.
“It might be for the best. From what Raja has gathered, the pack has some troublemakers. Donovick was one of them, but the Alpha, Randolf, is respected and keeps a tight rein on his wolves. His pack wants to know what happened and he can’t give them the answers they seek.”
“Are you sure they want answers, or are they after blood for their two dead?” Carran leaned against the counter and caught sight of Red as he entered the kitchen.
“I’m going with you.” Red came up next to Carran. “I won’t have you paying for what I’ve done.”
“Red and Taber are to accompany you,” Ty added when he heard Red. “They want his side of the events.”
“Why Taber?”
“The wolves see him as an unbiased party because he’s not a tiger and didn’t kill either of the wolves.” Ty paused and in the background Carran could hear Tabitha’s voice, but he was unable to make out what she was saying. “Does she still have the tracker?”
“She doesn’t know it, but yes. How…forget it.”
The book. He had no doubt that he owed it to the book. Handed down through generations of Tabitha’s family, that book had been leading them when it came to uniting the tigers, and it had saved their asses once already. Saved his mate, too.
“Make sure she keeps it.”
Tabitha’s words were clear and struck fear into Carran’s soul. “I’m not leaving her—”
A button clicked, putting him on speaker phone and Tabitha’s voice came through. “You’re not taking her to meet the wolves. We don
’t know what the meeting will hold and you’re not going to take her into a situation where all of you could be killed. The situation is delicate and she’s unfamiliar with our ways.”
“You’re worried she might increase the tension.” Carran shook his head. “That’s not a good enough reason to leave my mate behind so she can be kidnapped again.”
“Fine, then it’s not a logical suggestion…it’s an order.” Ty growled. “She’ll stay with Tad and the others—six of the best—and Ambrose. I think they can keep her safe.”
Only so he wouldn’t alert Brooklynn, Carran suppressed a growl of his own. A direct order from his Alpha didn’t leave any room for him to go against it. He’d have to leave her with the others. If anything happens to her… He didn’t want to think of the possibilities, but he knew if anything happened to her while he was gone, either him or whomever caused it wouldn’t make it back to Alaska. One of them would be dead.
“It’s a precaution, Carran, that’s all,” Tabitha added.
“Like it was when you gave the tracker to me.” He slammed his hand on the counter, making the glasses rattle in the drying rack. “I should have known the moment it was handed to me that something would happen to take her away from me.”
“I knew it was a possibility, but that’s all,” Tabitha defended.
“You’re upset about this, but she will be safe, and you can check on her,” Ty said. “Now you have forty minutes before the meeting. Don’t go in there hotheaded and pissed off.” He clicked off before Carran had an opportunity to argue.
“She’ll be safe.” Tad leaned against the archway separating the living room and kitchen. “You have my word.”
“And if something happens to you while protecting Brooklynn, what will Courtney and Milo say about that?” They all knew the risks when they went out on a mission, but as more of them found their mates, Carran understood the possibilities on a new level. He witnessed what losing a mate had done to his father, and now with Ambrose. If it happened to one of them it would make them weak as a whole, giving their enemies an opportunity to attack.
Alaskan Tigers Box Set 3 Page 7
