by Lisa Bilbrey
“I’m not ready. I’m … I’m just not ready,” Elle murmured.
“Yes, you are,” Callum insisted, reaching over and placing his hand over hers.
“I’m not,” she argued with a huff. “Everyone will stare at me again.”
“They probably will, but we can’t make them not look, Elle,” Sadie said from the backseat. Once again, she’d insisted that Elle take the front, knowing her leg was sore after falling. “We will do everything we can to keep you safe, but it’s time to go.”
“I know,” she murmured, yet she still didn’t attempt to climb out of the car.
“This is ridiculous.” Derek climbed out of the backseat and opened Elle’s door, offering her a hand. “Trust us, beautiful.”
“I do,” she whispered, and placed her hand on top of his, allowing him to help her out of the car.
Once she had her cane, the four of them headed into the building. Just as Elle knew they would, everyone stopped and stared at her as she hobbled across the lobby to the elevators. It felt just like the morning they’d come to work after Ivy’s wedding, when everyone found out about her relationship with her fiancés.
“Fucking vultures,” Derek muttered under his breath as they stepped into the elevator.
“That they are,” Elle agreed.
The ride to the tenth floor felt like an eternity, and when the doors opened, Elle was unsurprised to find Samuel waiting for them. He had a wide smile on his face as he reached for Elle, who graciously allowed him to help her off the elevator.
“I wasn’t sure you’d be in today,” he said, sliding his hand to her elbow.
“Me, either,” she admitted, before turning her attention to the woman standing behind the front desk.
Greta Lang was an older woman with salt and pepper hair. She was a sweetheart, who had come by and visited Elle several times while she was in the hospital. Elle got the feeling that the company meant a great deal to her, and the people who worked there were more than just coworkers, but family.
“Hey, Greta.”
“Elle,” she said with a smile. “You look amazing.”
“Thank you,” she replied, but inwardly she scoffed. She looked like crap, but she wasn’t about to refute the woman. “You’re keeping everyone in line here, aren’t you?”
Greta smiled. “I’m trying.”
“Good, good,” Elle murmured.
“Well, we should get to work,” Callum suggested, placing his hand on Elle’s back and trying to nudge her forward.
“I’ll, um, I’m just going to work out of the conference room today. More room, and better chairs,” she rambled on.
“Are you sure?” Derek asked.
Elle bit her lip and nodded. “Yeah. I mean, you know, if that’s okay with you, Samuel.”
“Of course it is,” he said.
“Okay,” Derek agreed. “Why don’t you get settled and we’ll bring our work down?”
Once more, Elle nodded and while he, Callum, and Sadie headed toward their office, Samuel escorted Elle to the conference room, standing in the doorway while she sat down at the table.
“It’s good to have you back, Elle,” he said.
“I just hope it wasn’t a mistake,” she quipped.
Samuel frowned. “It wasn’t.”
Then, he turned and walked away, leaving her sitting there.
Derek, Callum, and Sadie joined her a few minutes later, their arms filled with files. They placed them on the table, and took the seats around her. Elle grabbed one off the top, and opened it up, finding dozens of pictures of Alvarez Park inside. She’d been getting updates for weeks about the development, but hadn’t been able to go check out the progress herself, something she hated. Alvarez Park had been the catalyst toward how she and Sadie met Derek and Callum.
“It’s looking pretty good, isn’t it?” Callum asked.
Elle nodded. “But it’s hard to tell from pictures. I’d like to go out in the next few days and check out the progress myself.”
“I’m sure we can arrange that,” Derek said with a chuckle.
She looked up at him. “Why is that funny?”
“It’s not. It’s more of a relief,” he explained. “Feels good having you here with us, Elle.”
“For me, too,” she half-lied. A part of her was relieved to be there, while the other part of her — the part that felt like someone was always watching — was still worried that everything they’d fought for was about to explode right in front of them.
Three
“Oh, God, I need to pee,” Sadie whined, shifting in her seat.
Elle covered her mouth and tried to stop from laughing, but when Sadie glared at her, she knew she’d failed. “Sorry.”
“No, you’re not,” she grumbled, huffing. “How much longer?”
“Five minutes,” Elle replied. “Maybe ten.”
“Great,” Sadie groaned and leaned her head against the car window.
“I’m driving as fast as I can,” Elle murmured.
“I know.” Sadie looked at her. “Are you excited?”
“About?” Elle asked, though she already knew the answer.
She’d been in the hospital, struggling with a raging fever and an infected gunshot wound when Sadie had her first doctor’s appointment. She’d been eight weeks along, and had tried to cancel her appointment, insisted that she’d wait until Elle could be there, but then she started spotting, and the fear of losing the baby was too much. So, Derek and Callum went with her while Ivy stayed at Elle’s bedside.
“You’ll get to see the baby today,” Sadie explained. “Aren’t you even the least bit excited?”
“Of course I am,” Elle insisted.
“Yeah, you really sound it,” she groused.
Elle sighed and looked over at her. “I am. I swear. I’m just … I’m nervous, I guess. Seeing the baby will make it real.”
“And this,” Sadie pulled up her shirt, exposing her slightly rounded stomach, “isn’t real enough?”
“Yes, but …” Elle shook her head. “I’m scared.”
“Of what?” Sadie asked.
“I don’t know. Being a mom. Or at least being the kind of mom the baby deserves,” she rambled.
“What are you talking about? You’re going to be a great mom!” Sadie insisted.
“No, I won’t,” Elle argued. “I won’t be able to carry that baby because I have to use my cane, and I won’t be able to get down on the floor and play because it hurts my leg. Everything hurts my leg, and it won’t get any better.”
“You don’t know that,” she said. “The doctor—”
“I know what the doctor said,” Elle snarled, tightening her grip on the wheel. “Rehab doesn’t work. It just makes my leg hurt more.”
Sadie sighed, but didn’t offer a rebuttal. Elle’s doctor had done everything she could to convince her to continue with physical therapy, stating that the more she worked the damaged muscle, the faster she’d heal. But the pain had been excruciating, and left her sobbing for hours afterward.
After just a few session, Elle refused to go anymore. Derek, Callum, and Sadie had begged her to keep trying, but she didn’t see the point. It wasn’t like her leg was suddenly not going to be a damaged mess.
Elle parked in the lot in front of the Women’s Health Care building, and shut off the engine. However, instead of climbing out, she turned and reached for Sadie’s hand.
“I love you, Sadie. You’ve been mine for a long time. I just … I feel like there’s this dark cloud or something over me. Every time I start to think I’m okay, someone or something drags me back down. And I hate feeling like this. I want to be happy and smile all the time. Goddamn it, I want to make love to you without hurting!”
“And you will,” Sadie insisted. “Now, I really need to pee, so can we go in?”
Elle laughed. “Yeah, let’s go, preggo.”
Sadie scowled and muttered something about her not being funny, but climbed out the car. The two of them head
ed inside the building and took the elevator to the fifth floor. While Sadie checked in with the receptionist and was escorted into the back so she could pee in a little plastic cup, Elle settled on an uncomfortable sofa.
“I feel much better,” Sadie declared with a snicker as she sat on the sofa next to Elle.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you walk that fast. Not even when my mother almost caught us together in the pool.”
Sadie’s smiled. “You were being naughty; had me pinned against the side with your fingers inside me.”
“Well, you kept pinching my nipples,” Elle rebutted. “You know how sensitive my nipples are.”
“I do,” she admitted.
The elevator chimed just before the doors opened, and Elle and Sadie looked over as Callum and Derek stepped off. They paused and looked around the room, smiling when they saw the women and immediately headed toward them.
“Thought we were going to be too late,” Callum grumbled, sliding onto the couch next to Elle and leaning over to kiss her cheek. “Traffic was a bitch.”
“It’s okay,” Sadie told him as Derek sat next to her, sliding his arm around her waist. “We’ve only been here a few minutes. How’d the meeting with the Andersons go?”
“Ugh, not great,” Derek quipped. “They’re refusing to compromise, even though we showed them the zoning laws that make it clear that we are unable to build their three-thousand square-feet house on land that will only allow twenty-two hundred square-feet.”
“Think we’re going to have to let the account go,” Callum added. “We hate to, but if they aren’t willing to work with us, then there’s not much we can do, you know?”
Elle nodded. “Can you do that, though? You’ve been working on their house for what? A year and a half?”
“Almost two,” Callum said. “But they’ve fought us over everything, and we get it. This is their dream home, and they’re pouring everything they have into it, but maybe we’re not the right fit. Maybe they need to find someone who can take what they want and make it a reality.”
Elle pressed her lips together before saying, “Maybe … never mind.”
“Maybe what?” Derek pressed, causing Elle to look at him.
“I was just … Well, maybe if I looked at their specs, and, I don’t know, tried something new for them, we could keep their account. But forget it, it’s a stupid idea.”
“No, it’s not. It’s perfect. I think we’re too close to the account, and you’d be able to look at it with fresh eyes,” Derek rambled. “I can email everything to you when we get home.”
Elle smiled and nodded. “Sounds good.”
“Sadie Williams.” As her name was called, the four of them turned and looked toward the door leading to the back, where a short, chubby brunette stood. She had a huge smile on her face, and a file pressed against her chest. “Are you ready, honey?”
Elle lifted an eyebrow and looked at Derek. Honey? Who the hell did this woman think she was, calling their fiancée ‘honey’?
“More than ready,” Sadie replied, standing up. She turned and held her hand out to Elle. “Coming, sweetie?”
“I am.”
Elle, Derek, Callum, and Sadie followed the woman through the set of double doors to the back, where they stopped next to the scales so that Sadie could be weighed.
“How are you feeling? Still nauseous?” the nurse asked, sliding the markers on the bar. “Oh, you’ve gained four pounds.”
“Ugh, thanks for the reminder,” Sadie grumbled, stepping off the scale. “And the nausea hasn’t been too bad. Mostly just at night. I’ve been tired, though. I can’t seem to get enough sleep.”
The nurse nodded and made a note in Sadie’s chart before gesturing for her to sit on a red, plastic chair, which she did. Then, grabbing a blood pressure cuff, the woman wrapped it around the top of Sadie’s arm and started squeezing the black bulb at the bottom of a long tube.
“So, are you going to introduce me to your girl, or are you enjoying the way she’s glaring at the back of my head?” the nurse asked, laughter lacing every word.
Sadie grinned. “She’s sexy when she glares, isn’t she?”
“Sadie!” Elle exclaimed, bringing her hand up to her chest and shifting her eyes to the nurse, who looked highly amused.
“It’s okay, baby, she knows I’m teasing. Michelle, this is my beautiful, amazing, and strong fiancée Elle.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Michelle said, but she didn’t bother looking back at Elle. “Blood pressure is kind of high. You worried about something?”
It might have been Elle’s imagination, but it seemed that Sadie’s eyes flittered to her before she replied with a firm, “No.”
Michelle hummed, but didn’t say anything as she stood up and directed them to follow her down the hallway and into a large examination room. While it had the standard bed, cabinet, sink, and curtain, there was also a small sofa, warm engaging pictures on the wall, and the lights were softer than normal. It seems more like a spa than examination room.
“Dr. Kemp will be with you in a few minutes.” Michelle shifted her attention to Elle, before adding, “Just relax.”
As she walked out of the room, Michelle closed the door behind her, and Elle blew out a heavy breath. “Well, that wasn’t awkward at all.”
“She’s really nice,” Sadie said.
Elle gave her a forced smiled. “I bet.”
Sadie sighed, but didn’t say anything as she moved and sat on the table. “These rooms are always so cold.”
“Need me to warm you up?” Derek asked, wrapping his arms around her.
“Thank you,” she murmured, and Elle suddenly felt uncomfortable.
“Hey,” Callum said, drawing her attention to where he was standing next to the door.
When Elle looked up at him, he reached his hand out to her. She felt her skin warm as she took the few steps to him, letting her fingers crawl across his as she took his hand.
“I was thinking and, yes, I know it’s a dangerous past time, but it’s been a while since we’ve had a night out. How about we go out tonight? Hmm? Dinner? Maybe dancing? Could be fun, right?”
Elle nodded. “Not the dancing part. I mean, I can barely walk without falling, but dinner could be nice.”
“Oy, what about us?” Derek hollered, drawing their attention to them. “Don’t we get to go out with you, or are we left to our devices?”
“Of course you can come,” Elle murmured. “I mean, if you want or whatever.”
“I want. I really, really want to come with you, beautiful.” Derek did nothing to hide the double meaning to his words, especially with the way he let his eyes drag down the length of her body.
Overwhelming heat filled her cheeks, but before she could say anything, a knock came from the other side of the door. Callum and Elle moved as the door opened and Dr. Kemp walked into the room.
Yasmin Kemp was a tall, thin woman, with extremely curly, black hair and bright, blue eyes. She smiled as she looked from Callum and Elle, over to Derek and Sadie.
“Good afternoon,” she chirped, closing the door behind her and walking over to the cabinet. She laid Sadie’s chart on top of the counter. Leaning against the front, she turned to Elle. “You must be the infamous Elle.”
“I am. It’s nice to meet you,” she said.
“You, too. I’m glad to see that you’re back on your feet. I know they missed you at Sadie’s first visit. It’s always a special one for families.”
Elle felt her shoulders tense. “Yeah, I know.”
“Well,” Dr. Kemp said, turning to Sadie. “How are you feeling? Michelle noted that you’re still a little queasy at night.”
“A little,” Sadie replied. “I usually have a couple pieces of toast and then I feel better. It’s the exhaustion that I can’t seem to get over. I’m tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get.”
“That’s not unexpected. Now that you’re into your second trimester, it should be easier. At
least, until you’re into your third trimester,” the doctor explained.
Sadie nodded. “That’s good to hear.”
“Why don’t you lay back on the table, and we’ll get some measurements?” Dr. Kemp stated, turning to the sink and washing her hands.
While she pulled a couple of paper towels out of the holder, Derek helped Sadie lay back on the table. Elle felt helpless as she just stood there, so she tightened her grip on her cane and hobbled over to the side of the table, taking Sadie’s hand. Her lover gave her a sweet smile as she squeezed her fingers.
“I’m just gonna push your shirt up and slip your pants down a little,” Dr. Kemp said, walking over to them. Sadie’s baby bump seemed bigger when she was laying on her back, more pronounced. “You’ve definitely popped.”
“No kidding. None of my pants fit anymore. At least not the ones with an actual button. Gonna be living in the land of elastic waistbands, I guess.”
Dr. Kemp smiled, but didn’t say anything as she pulled out a long measuring tape and began placing it on her stomach. Every couple of minutes, she’d make a note in Sadie’s chart.
“Everything looks good. Right on schedule,” she finally said. “How about we take another peek at your little one? Would you like that?”
“Yes,” Elle said before Sadie could utter a sound, causing everyone to laugh. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Dr. Kemp laughed. “If my wife were pregnant, I’d want to see our baby, too. Give me a few minutes to get the ultrasound cart.”
Dr. Kemp walked out of the room, closing the door behind her, and Elle turned to Sadie. “Her wife?”
Sadie smiled and nodded. “She’s a lesbian. One of the reasons I felt she was the right fit for us. She and her wife, Isabel, have been together since they were seventeen. They were married just after California legalized same-sex marriages.”
“And how do you know all of this?” Derek asked. “Doesn’t seem like the kind of information that doctors usually share with their patients.”
