by Kat Mizera
“Hi.” Renee sat on the edge of the bed and held out her arms. Daisy fell into them and burst into tears.
“I’m so scared,” she sobbed.
“I know, honey.”
“I don’t know how it happened. We always used condoms.”
“This is why I wanted you on the pill. Shit happens. There’s nothing wrong with being doubly protected.”
“I didn’t want to gain weight,” Daisy sobbed.
“I never have and I’ve been on them for years.”
She sat and let her daughter cry for a while before finally handing her a few tissues. “You’re going to have to make some hard decisions, honey.”
“I don’t want to,” Daisy whispered. “I don’t want to have an abortion, but I don’t think I can be a mom either. And Zio will want to marry me!”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Renee said softly. “He’s wonderful. Sweet, good-looking, smart, comes from a nice family… I thought you were crazy about him?”
“I am. Sometimes.” She sniffed. “He’s just so…nice.”
“The horror.” Sarcasm dripped from Renee’s voice and Daisy sighed.
“He’s just…perfect. He never does anything wrong. He gets all A’s. He’s an amazing hockey player. He can even sing. Why would he want boring old me?”
“Oh, my love, that’s such a loaded question, but right now you have to think about what you want. Not what he wants, not what I want, but what you want. Do you want to try again with Ben? Think hard, Daisy, because it’s important.”
“Ben is exciting because he’s rich and arrogant and kind of a bad-boy athlete, but at the end of the day, no, that’s not what I want. I know he’s going to use me and dump me, just like last time.”
“And Zio?”
“It’s like everything happened so fast. I love him, he’s wonderful, but I keep thinking he’s going to dump me or get bored or something, and I definitely don’t want to get married because I’m pregnant.”
“If you have a baby, Daisy, you’re going to have to quit school and get a job. You can go to school part-time, but you’ll have to work to help take care of him or her. I can help, but I’m not raising another kid. If you decide to keep it, it’s all you.”
Daisy sighed. “I know. And I’m not ready for all that.”
“You still have to talk about all of this with Zio.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Daisy cried. “He’s so gentle and patient and kind. It makes me feel like a brat. We’ve never had an argument, let alone a real fight. Sometimes it’s like he’s not real. I mean, how can someone never be mad, ever?”
“Jared and I have never had a fight,” Renee pointed out. “Does that mean something’s wrong?”
“To me, it means you don’t trust each other enough to be real. Like he’s always walking on eggshells so he doesn’t upset me. How is that genuine?”
“I don’t know,” Renee admitted, “but I don’t think that’s the case with everyone. Jared and I haven’t had any reason to fight or argue because this is usually what’s called the honeymoon period, where everything is exciting and fun and romantic.”
“Even though he has a kid he didn’t know about?”
“That’s not anyone’s fault but his ex-wife, and since she’s dead, blaming her is ridiculous. We can only move forward.”
“But he’s moving out.”
“We need time to figure out if what we have is serious enough to blend a family. I don’t know how I feel about being a mom to Braden and until I do, we can’t get any more serious than we already are.”
“He moved in,” Daisy said curiously. “And you’re not sure you’re serious?”
“We are, but Braden complicated everything.”
“What’s complicated if he’s getting a nanny?”
Renee blew out a breath. “It just is.”
“You don’t love him?”
“I don’t know, but I know we need to be talking about you, not me.”
“I have to think and…” She bit her lip. “I think I want Zio to go home, so I can get some perspective without him.”
“That’s not fair to him, Daisy. It’s his baby too.”
“He’s not going to want me to have an abortion and that’s my choice, not his.”
“It should be a decision you make together.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“Yours. Always. But that doesn’t mean I won’t point out when you’re being selfish.”
“I’ll talk to him, explain that I need a little space to breathe, figure things out.”
“Okay.” Renee reached out and pushed a lock of hair behind her daughter’s ear. “We’re going to have to go to a doctor, regardless, and make sure everything is okay.”
“Not yet,” Daisy whispered. “I need a little time to think, okay?”
“How far along are you?”
“Probably four or five weeks? It can’t be more than that because I had my period in early July.”
“Some women still get a period when they’re pregnant, but you’re probably not very far along. Are you feeling okay?”
“I feel fine. I just had some really weird cramping a few days in a row, but it stopped now.”
“We’ll talk more about this tomorrow, but how about we get something to eat? You want me to cook or we can order in?”
“Let’s order in. I don’t feel like doing anything.”
“Okay.” Renee hugged her tightly. “I love you, kiddo. You know that, don’t you?”
“I love you too, Mom.”
Renee headed downstairs to call for takeout, but she wasn’t nearly as calm as she’d let Daisy think. The idea of her baby having a baby at nineteen was heartbreaking on so many levels. Giving up college to become a young mother was hard and Daisy didn’t seem keen on letting Zio be a big part of her life, which was unacceptable.
Her already complicated life was about to get even more so and she didn’t have a clue what to do about it. She had to focus on Daisy, which meant she would have even less time for Jared and Braden. She’d kept him at arm’s length as if she’d known something like this would happen, and sadness washed over her. How on earth were they going to hang on to this relationship when everything around them was coming apart?
29
Jared and Renee toured the house he wanted to rent the following morning. With everything going on at the house, he’d opted to work from home today. Nothing was time-sensitive so he wasn’t going to kill himself to get to the arena or be away from the house all day. He’d contacted the agency and said he wanted to give Dot a thirty-day trial, so she was starting next week.
“This is a lot of space.” Renee was talking to him, bringing him back to reality. “But the bedrooms are a good size and the pool is lovely.”
“Yeah, it’s fine. I just need a place where Braden feels comfortable, with enough room for Dot.”
Renee nodded. “Makes sense.”
She’d been really withdrawn since Daisy’s pregnancy had been discovered, and while he didn’t blame her, he hated that she didn’t feel she could open up to him. What the hell had they been doing all summer if she couldn’t talk to him? For some reason, he’d just assumed they would be together. Not because he needed a mother for Braden, but because they’d clicked. He’d been with his share of women since his divorce and no one had ever impacted him the way Renee had. Yet the minute they were faced with adversity, she balked.
“When can I move in?” Jared asked the owner.
“We’ll be out by the end of the week,” the woman said, nodding. “My husband has already moved to San Francisco and the kids and I will be joining him next week. We’ll be out by Saturday at the latest. I have to find someone to haul away the rest of this stuff. We moved everything we’re going to take but everything that’s left is going to Goodwill or something.”
“I’ll take it,” Jared said. “I can write you a check right now.”
The woman waved a hand. “You’re saving our asses by ren
ting it for a year. You can have this stuff. If you want the furniture, we’ll be gone Thursday afternoon. I’m going to take the kids to a hotel for a couple of days.”
“Great. Get me the paperwork and I’ll meet with the realtor to sign everything.”
They walked outside and got in Renee’s car. “You’ll need beds,” she said. “And linens.”
“Yeah, and pretty much everything in a kitchen.”
“Didn’t you have that stuff in Boston?” she asked.
“Yeah, but not a lot. I mean, I packed what I could fit in my SUV, which wasn’t a ton. I have my Keurig machine, a couple of frying pans, one big pot, and a handful of baking trays. There are some wooden spoons and shit, but nothing like your kitchen.”
“I can feed you guys for as long as you need,” she said, pulling out of the driveway and back toward her house.
“I’ll figure it out.” He wasn’t sure why he suddenly felt resentful, but somehow, signing the lease on the house was an end to something and he wasn’t sure what or why. The fact that she hadn’t fought to keep them at her house meant something big was missing in their relationship. It had been his idea, but deep down he’d hoped she would ask them to stay, say that they could work it out. That hadn’t happened and now he was faced with the enormous task of making a home for his son.
It wasn’t that he wasn’t capable—he could and he would—but it hurt that she didn’t want to help. He’d hired the nanny, so she wouldn’t have to give up anything except some love, but apparently that had been too much to ask. It was early in their relationship, but he was comfortable with moving in and all the other things they’d gone through, so why wasn’t she on board? He had a momentary memory of Elsa leaving when he’d needed her the most and it made his jaw clench painfully.
“You’re quiet,” she said after a moment.
“I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to get everything done,” he admitted.
“I told you I’d help,” she said.
“Yeah, but that’s not your job and obviously not something you really want to do.”
“What does that mean?” she asked, pulling into her garage.
“Nothing.” He got out of the car and walked into the house, just as Braden came racing across the room.
“Jared, they won’t stop yelling.” He was holding his ears.
“What?” Jared became aware of the yelling and grimaced as Daisy yelled a string of expletives.
“What’s going on?” Renee asked, coming in and stopping short as she ran into his back.
“I don’t know.” He exchanged a worried glance with her.
“Daisy!” Renee called out to her daughter. “What’s going on?”
“I’m leaving.” Zio had his backpack on and his suitcase was at the bottom of the stairs.
“What happened?” Jared demanded.
“I’m fucking out of here.” Zio was shaking his head. “She’s crazy and I’m not dealing with this shit.”
“Everyone calm down and tell me what’s going on,” Renee said firmly.
“She won’t talk to me about the baby,” Zio said, throwing up his hands. “I want to be supportive, stand by her side, and she’s just shutting me out, like this is her baby, and not our baby.”
“You fucking asked me if it was yours!” Daisy yelled down the stairs, throwing something that sparkled in the light and made a clinking sound as it landed on the wooden steps. “Well, fuck you for not trusting me.”
“You’re acting like it’s not,” he shot back, his eyes falling on the piece of jewelry that had landed on the stairs. He picked it up slowly and stuffed it in his pocket.
“See what I mean?” she asked her mother, coming to the top of the steps.
“What?” Renee asked in confusion.
“He doesn’t even care enough to fight with me. It’s like he’s made of stone.”
“Daisy, you can’t just cut him out of your life. He’s the baby’s father. The two of you need to get past how emotional this is, and talk about—”
“She won’t talk,” Zio cut in bitterly. “She just wants to argue. That’s not how I was raised and I’m not going to raise my voice to the woman I love. If that’s what she thinks love is, great, but that’s not me. And my Uber just got here.”
“Jesus Christ, Zio, stop being a pain in the ass,” Jared muttered. “She’s nineteen and pregnant—you ever hear of something called hormones?”
“Oh, sure, chalk it up to hormones,” Daisy yelled. “Don’t take any responsibility.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do,” Zio yelled back.
“Oh my god, that’s the most passion I’ve seen in you since the last time we screwed.”
“Please stop yelling,” Jared said to her. “You’re scaring Braden.”
“The world doesn’t revolve around your precious Braden,” Daisy snapped.
“Daisy, that’s enough. You’re being a bitch—stop it.” Renee’s voice was icy.
Everyone froze.
Renee pointed to Zio. “Put your backpack down and go sit down. You’re not leaving until the two of you have talked—without yelling and name-calling. Daisy, get your ass down here and stop acting like a spoiled brat. Jared, maybe you should take Braden for a ride or something. He doesn’t need to see all of this.”
Jared opened his mouth, but nothing came out. She was doing it again and it pissed him off. Every time something serious came up, she summarily shut him out, as if she was the matriarch of their entire world and he was nothing but some kind of guest. Ironic as it was, since he’d treated every woman he’d dated since his divorce like that, it still hurt. He’d be damned if he let her see it, though.
“Come on, Braden. Get your shoes on, buddy. Let’s go get some dinner.”
“I want to stay here,” the boy whined.
“I know, but I thought you might need a new game for your DS, so we should go buy it.”
“Really?” The boy’s eyes widened with delight. “Okay!” He took off to find his shoes and Jared turned to Renee. “My SUV should be here by next week, but I’ll rent a car until then. Tonight, can I use the Mercedes? I can’t put him on my bike.”
“Of course.” Renee nodded absently, handing him her keys.
Renee sat and moderated Daisy and Zio for nearly three hours as they tried to navigate emotional, unfamiliar waters. Daisy was determined to do things her way and Zio seemed incapable of standing up to her. He was a genuinely nice guy and Renee wanted to cry in frustration every time they hit an impasse. She couldn’t do this for them, though, and Zio decided to leave the following day if he could get on the flight to Milan. Daisy decided she wasn’t going back to school this semester, and in the end, they weren’t even talking, though Daisy finally promised she would keep Zio apprised of her decision whether or not to keep the baby.
Renee was physically and mentally exhausted when she finally got to bed. Jared was already there, his laptop open as he worked on something. He hadn’t said more than a few words to her since he’d gotten home and the distance between them was somehow tangible. She wasn’t sure exactly what had happened today, but between Daisy’s meltdown and everything else going on, she didn’t have it in her to start anything with Jared.
“I’m going to work on edits for a while,” she told him, standing in the doorway. “I’m behind so I might have to pull an all-nighter.”
He looked up and something flashed in his eyes she’d never seen before: Annoyance.
“I’m taking Zio to the airport at noon,” he responded as the look vanished. “I wish you’d been able to convince him to stay a little longer. I mean, there’s a baby now. They can’t just fight and break up.”
“I tried,” she protested. “They’re both stubborn and Daisy is definitely not herself right now.”
“You’re really going to let her decide something so important on her own?”
“I can’t force her to make a decision,” Renee said tightly.
“Sure you can. You forced me t
o make one.”
30
“What does that mean?” Renee demanded.
“Nothing.” He waved a hand. “I don’t want to argue. There’s enough of that going on lately.”
“Jared—”
He sighed. “Really, I don’t want to fight. I’m sorry I said anything. We’re all on edge with Daisy and Zio and we shouldn’t let it impact us.”
Renee wanted to protest, because that’s exactly what they were doing, but he was right. She’d gently nudged him in the direction of moving out until it had been his idea and that’s exactly what he was doing. Which was what she wanted.
Right?
She didn’t even know anymore.
“I get it, Renee. The truth is that we’re both older and set in our ways. We found a nice mutual ground when we first met that went beyond sex and we ran with it. Unfortunately, life had other plans for me and you’re not down with being a mom again at this stage in your life. It’s okay. It hurts a little, but I’m not mad because I don’t know what I would’ve done if that pregnancy test had been yours.”
Renee looked down. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to try, because I was getting there. Truly. I adore Braden. He’s sweet and curious and looks so much like you I want to kiss his whole little face. But now my daughter’s life has imploded, and that literally leaves no time for you, much less a little boy that just lost his mother. The truth is, I don’t want to let anyone down, which means something has to give.”
Jared nodded though he wanted to hit something in frustration. “Like I said, I get it. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your letting us live here and helping me get over the hump as a new dad, so to speak. If we’d been at a hotel all this time, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
“You’re welcome to stay as long as you need to, and you know my car is at your disposal until yours arrives. I wish I hadn’t sold Daisy’s, but with her gone for four years, I didn’t want it to just sit around. Now I regret it.”
“I put your name as an emergency contact when I registered Braden for school,” he said slowly. “I’m going to add Dot, but would you prefer I took you off?”
