Evan’s stunned expression gives way to a huge smile and I glance up at the nurse who is leaning over me, making slow swipes at the skin near my eye. Evan mumbles something and she laughs.
“Your friend here sure has been keeping this floor entertained.” Her body shakes as she laughs. “This may sting but hold still,” she says as I study her face, finally able to see her.
The wrinkles around her blue eyes bunch up and her eyebrows lower as if she is sympathizing with the prickles of pain flaring up from my eyebrow to my cheek bone.
“Fortunately, this pretty little face of yours wasn’t damaged too much, but it does look like you just got punched in the nose.” Her thin lips curve into a kind smile and her eyes fill with compassion as I sputter out a laugh at her assessment of my injuries.
“I was.”
Her brows rise as her face hovers a few feet above mine. She laughs, then a soft touch brushes over my hand and a pressure is eased off of my fingertip and then replaced.
“It sure must feel like that.”
I huff out a small laugh, realizing she doesn’t think I’m being serious.
“So, can you tell me how you feel?” She goes on.
Evan starts to pipe up, but quickly stops. “Oooww! You don’t have to kick me. I thought you were supposed to be helping people.”
The nurse grins and I get the idea that I may have been here longer than a day.
“How long …” My voice garbles as I glance over at Jake, hoping for another drink. The straw immediately finds my mouth and I guzzle down more, needing something wet.
“Careful. We don’t want it coming back up. Throwing up is not good in your state.”
Jake pulls it away from my mouth with her words and I snap my attention back up, quickly glancing at the name Stacey in bold print on her badge before my eyes land back on her face.
“How long have I been here?” I barely get out. And where is here?
Her face brightens with a sympathetic smile, “Three days, sweetie, but it has been very eventful. The doctor will be here to fill you in soon,” Nurse Stacey pauses, looking at me for confirmation that I understand, I assume.
“Ok,” I rasp out, shocked that I have been in a hospital for that long.
I wish I had a mirror above the bed so I knew what I looked like or the extent of my injuries. Holy shit! Three days and I have no memory of it!
“For now, let me check over a few things. I would prefer if you don’t move around too much, but could you move the fingers on your left hand for me?” Her words surprise me, but it must be standard after an accident to make sure everything is functioning properly.
“He moved his fingers earlier,” Jake announces as I twitch each of my fingers, mechanical with each movement.
“His feet moved around under the sheet when he woke up, too,” Evan adds, my level of confusion growing by the second.
Do they think I am paralyzed? Am I paralyzed? I think as I instantly move my feet underneath the rough, coarse sheet.
“Oh, that’s good. Doctor Raynes will be glad to hear that. Are you comfortable or are you feeling a lot of aches and pains?” She asks like I’m a child with their first booboo.
I think about the question for a moment and focus on my body. My mind still comes in and out of foggy thoughts, but my skull feels as though someone smashed a two-by-four over it, especially my neck. The skin at the base of my skull is wound so tight it may split and my head is throbbing.
Breathing in a large breath, slivers of pain vibrate through my ribcage and deep inside, making me very aware that something must have slammed into my side during the wreck. The pain is dull and muffled somewhat, but still hurts like hell. With each deep gulp of air I breathe pain slices through every inch of me as if shards of glass are coursing through my veins. I immediately shallow my breaths in an attempt to ward off that horrific pain.
My left arm seems to have plenty of feeling and moves like my joints have been put on ice, but they still move with minimal pain. In an effort to wiggle my other hand, a sharp piercing jolt shoots across my neck and down my arm.
“My …” I clear my throat, “right side, my neck and right shoulder,” I tell her instantly. “My shoulder and side hurt pretty badly.”
“Ok, I’ll let the doctor know.”
She messes with a few more things beside the bed and out of my line of sight before leaving the room. I take a couple more drinks of water, thanks to Jake, before feeling confident enough to dive into questions.
“What happened exactly?” I flash my eyes back and forth between Jake and Evan, pissed that I cannot bend at the neck. “What is on my neck?” I spit out, sounding extremely annoyed.
“It’s a brace, dude. You’ll get it off soon,” Evan answers, but Jake quickly jumps in.
“Try not to move your neck for now. The brace is to stabilize your movement so no damage is done while your shoulder is healing. The doctor told me that any further trauma to your spinal cord could …” he trails off, but I keep my eyes on him.
What the hell is wrong with my shoulder and what the hell happened to my spinal cord or what could happen if I move my neck?
“Well, it wouldn’t be good. Just try not to look around much.” I raise my eyebrows, a tight and stiff tug festering up on the side of my face where the nurse was fiddling.
“Don’t do that either.” Jake jets around my bed and disappears to the other side of the bed.
“No, it was in the other drawer,” Evan says as I hear a couple sliding and clicking sounds, which I assume would be the drawers Evan is referring to.
“Are you sure you should do that already? He looks pretty rough.” Evan’s statement lights a bulb in my head, making me want to bolt up and see what my brother is searching for.
“A mirror?” I ask, not all together sure if I want to see or not.
“Yeah, here it is,” Jake says near my ear. “You look pretty beat up, but the doctor said you shouldn’t have any scarring on your face. Most of it was just minor bruises and cuts. Do you want me to show you?”
Wishing I could nod my head because my words are stuck in my throat, I gurgle out a response, “Mmhuh.”
“Geez, this is a bad idea,” Evan says as Jake draws a mirror up in front of my face.
My eyes zoom to the image staring back at me, but I’m not sure if he is holding it right, because surely this isn’t me.
Both of my eyes are swollen and black with streaks of yellow spread out beneath the sockets. My left eye has a cut that extends from my brow to my cheek bone and it looks as if it’s been smeared with some sort of shiny substance, glue possibly. My nose is twice its original size and flaming red along the ridge with shades of blue and purple at the sides. It’s a mess of colors and at any given moment I expect to hear a chorus of horns honking and bells ringing as the circus comes to claim me.
Moving my gaze over my cheeks, I see dozens of nicks and cuts, several with small bandage strips holding them shut. Sticking my tongue out to make sure this is my reflection, I run it over my cracked up, dry, flaking lips and breathe out a sigh. A couple more nice-sized cuts stand out on my forehead and another along my chin that also looks like it has been glued closed.
“Wow,” I whisper, wishing this is nothing more than a dream.
I STARE AT MY bruised and banged up reflection for quite a while without anyone saying a word. I don’t think Evan or Jake knows what to say; I wouldn’t know what to say in their position. There is so much I want to know, yet I cannot find the words. The few memories that have surfaced have me jumping out of my skin. The aroma of burnt rubber mixed with the sounds of crunching metal, glass and bones make me wish I could tear the thoughts right out of my head.
“I know it looks awful,” Jake starts with a shaky voice then stops.
“Yeah, you seriously look like a piece of crap, but I think what may be on your brother’s mind is …” Evan pauses as Jake drops the mirror and moves into my line of sight.
He doesn’t let Evan fi
nish, “I thought you were dead.” My little brother’s eyes fill with tears and it is at this moment that I finally think of something other than my pain.
“I thought you both were dead. I thought I …” Jake looks at me through exhausted, bloodshot eyes and I just now see the toll this has taken on him.
My brows lower, reminding me of the cuts on my face. “Jake, I’m going to be fine. I’m so sorry.” I can’t imagine what he is feeling; what this did to him, knowing he may be alone. We’ve all felt that, I did only minutes ago, yet he felt it times two. “Have you seen Tristan?”
“I’ve seen him, but he hasn’t woken up yet. You both have been in and out of surgery since you got here, so it’s been hard going back and forth between you two. I’m keeping tabs on him and the doctors are keeping me up to speed.”
Feeling as if a weight is suddenly pressing down on my body and pulling me under, exhaustion starts to set in and I slowly blink my eyes in an effort to stay awake.
A clicking sounds behind Jake and I hear an unfamiliar voice call out, “Good afternoon Mr. Michaels. I’m Doctor Raynes. I hear you have finally decided to join us.”
Jake steps aside and a dark-complected, older gentleman with salt and pepper hair and deep brown eyes walks into my line of sight. His mouth tugs at the sides with a small smile as the same nurse from before comes up beside him. She flashes me a kind smile that somehow raises my spirits despite all that has happened along with my level of tiredness and confusion.
They both walk to the side of my bed and paper crinkles again. Jake and Evan take their seats on either side of me and the doctor’s voice rises up as he walks to the edge of my bed by my feet.
“I hear you are able to wiggle your feet and hands. Do you feel any numbness in your arms and legs?” He asks as he flips the sheet off of my left leg and proceeds to slide one hand under my calf and places the other at the bottom of my foot.
“Can you lift your leg at the hip and bend your knee for me.”
“Yeah.” I do as he says with ease then repeat as he walks to the other side of the bed and grabs my right leg.
“It doesn’t feel numb?” he asks, but doesn’t wait for my answer. I am beginning to think he is speaking just to hear the sound of his own voice. “Good. Any tingling sensations?”
I chuckle to myself, just as Evan snickers loudly beside me. Oh yeah, I have sensations all over my body; it’s called pain.
Even though all the silly questions are frustrating me, I refrain from being a smartass and answer the doctor with as much honesty as I can, “Not that I can feel, but I am pretty tired.”
“You’re going to wear out pretty fast. You’ve been through a lot not to mention the anesthesia from your surgery this morning is still in your system. I’m not sure if your friends have filled you in at all but you sustained several severe injuries during the car wreck. Do you remember anything?”
“Yeah, I think I remember most of it. It’s sketchy but I’ve remembered clips here and there, more than I want to remember,” I say, widening my eyes to stay awake.
“Careful, honey. You keep busting this cut open.”
Cool fingertips swipe along my brow and I glance up to see Nurse Stacey tending to my eye wound again.
“It’s good that you are remembering. However traumatizing the event was, any source of memories with the blow you took to the head is a positive sign. When you were brought in, you had a large gash at the top of your scalp. The impact, either from being thrown from the car or possibly the landing, also put a significant amount of strain on your neck causing swelling around your spinal cord. With inflammation like yours it is typical to see temporary paralysis and sometimes even permanent. Although you have been unconscious or under anesthesia over the course of the last few days, when you were somewhat lucid you exhibited absolutely no movement in your limbs. I will order another scan in the morning to ensure that most of the swelling has gone down.”
I struggle to hang on to everything that he says. “What’s wrong with my side? I have a sharp pain when I take a deep breath.”
“Ahhh, yes. First I want to say that you are a walking, talking miracle, son.” He smiles again and moves to the side of my body that has been hurting. Positioning his hand above the right side of my chest he begins to explain, “One significant and nearly fatal injury that sent you immediately into surgery was a scrap of metal that was lodged in your right ribcage only centimeters from puncturing your lung. When the EMTs arrived on the scene, you had stopped breathing …”
A deep sigh comes from Evan’s side of the bed and a blur of movement darts up in my peripheral vision. “I need to step out for a sec,” Evan announces suddenly.
The door snaps shut behind him and Jake stands up.
“I’m going to go check on him, Judd. I’ll be back,” Jake says then races out the door, leaving me even more puzzled.
After Doctor Raynes explains all of my injuries to a point where I have no idea what exactly is wrong with me, he leaves and finally lets me rest. It takes no time for sleep to grab hold of me and pull me away.
The next morning goes by quickly with me being wheeled into room after room for scans and lab techs coming and going drawing blood and checking my vitals. Of course, I always have the company of Jake and Evan when I return back to the room.
The doctor checks in once, drawing a picture of positivity in terms of my condition and I try to stay focused but my attention wonders to Alyssa. With the chaos of everything, I haven’t had time to call her yet or even ask Evan or Jake if they’ve called her. The fact that she is not here leads me to the conclusion that they definitely have not. She would be here, if she knew what happened. She has to think I forgot about her.
My ears tune back to the doctor, who stands by the bed giving a more in-depth assessment of my injuries.
“… extensive amount of damage to your shoulder. The break in your collar bone and damage to your rotator cuff alone will take six to eight weeks to heal, but you may very well always experience a little discomfort in your shoulder. Hopefully we can get you back to a 100% before you know it.” His words immediately make me think of my scholarship.
“I’m supposed to leave for UCLA in a couple weeks for freshman football training. Will I be good to go by mid-semester?” I ask, worried that all my hard work has now been washed down the drain.
The doctor sighs and presses his lips together in a frown. “Honestly, I don’t think football is going to be a good career to fall back on with the level of damage your body sustained. We see a lot of the same injuries in relation to sports, such as a torn rotator cuff and a broken collar bone, but you had it all and another blow could cause irreversible damage. I will put my recommendation out there by saying you definitely should not play, but the final decision is up to you. With that said, you will by no means be in stable enough condition to play this fall. You will also have to do physical therapy for a while to get your arm back to working order so I will not be able to release you. Give your body time to heal.”
He gives me a sympathetic look and adds, “I would recommend you take a year off and then you have a tough decision ahead for next year.” He smiles then exits the room, leaving an awkward silence behind.
I can’t play football? That’s all I’ve worked towards. I sacrificed my entire high school social life all for that scholarship and now I may have to kiss it all goodbye.
“So you transfer to the local college and get to hang around for another year. That’s not so bad. By next year, you’ll be good to go and can transfer.” Evan tries his best to lighten the dark news that the doctor just delivered, but I still feel as though I’ve been told I’ll never walk again.
“Judd, call them and let them know the circumstances,” Jake says.
My world is spinning out of control and all I want to do is hear one voice; she’s the only thing that can ground me right now; she’s the only thing I’ll choose over football.
“Jake, can I use your phone?” I ask, desperate to spea
k to her after what seems like an eternity.
“Oh, actually I needed to talk to you about that. I just didn’t want to bring it up with everything going on.”
“What?”
“Tristan has been getting behind on the bill the last couple months and I had called him the day before the Fourth because the phone company said they were disconnecting our lines if the bill was not paid by the fifth,” Jake grits his teeth as he delivers this news.
I blow out a frustrated breath at Tristan’s irresponsibility, but then quickly stifle it, remembering that he is laid up in a room just like me, hearing about life-changing injuries and possibly facing the same hellacious dreams that I have. It’s only a phone, but considering we are both racking up some serious medical bills at this point, the last thing we need is to add reconnection and late fees for our phones to the tally of bills.
“Yeah, so not only is your phone gone … but if it had survived the wreck, we have no service,” Jake adds.
“Actually, seeing how both of yours and Tristan’s checks for your work this summer were also destroyed in the wreck, I was going to run out to my grandfather’s office and re-cut you both a check today. If you want, I can swing it by here for you to sign, then Jake can go cash it and pay to get your phones turned on.” I want to shrug my shoulders in question of how I’m supposed to afford a new phone at this point, but he goes on, “He could just pick you up a cheapy phone while he’s at it to hold you over til your upgrade,” Evan chimes in, bringing a whole new level of questions to my mind.
“I didn’t even think about how we are going to pay for all this. Am I on the company insurance yet?” I look at Evan as he stands near the foot of the bed.
“Don’t worry about that. I think it has all been taken care of, right?” Evan and Jake share a look and my brother nods.
“Ok, yeah … go ahead. Cash my check and get your phone turned back on. I’ll worry about mine when I get out of here. While you’re gone, can you get my laptop so I have something to do here?” Jake nods again as they both turn to the door.
Catch My Breath Page 18
