“Should I go?”
“Of course not. I didn’t mean you.”
After another drag Danny said, “Here, hold this,” and he handed me the joint.
Danny sat down beside me and began to play his guitar. I stared at his graceful fingers dancing across the strings. The most beautiful melody came off the instrument as he played, “For the First Time,” and Danny gave me a flirtatious grin that melted me.
The first time? Our first time? Now I was the one who needed something to take the edge off. I glanced at the joint. What the hell? I brought it up to my lips, inhaled, and …broke into a coughing fit.
Laughing, Danny put down his guitar and rubbed my back. “Easy, Eli. Don’t inhale so deeply until you’re used to it.”
“Right,” I choked out.
Danny handed me a water bottle. I took a few sips. Then Danny took another drag and handed me back the joint so he could continue playing. I took another, albeit smaller, hit and didn’t choke this time.
The combination of music and pot; I couldn’t help smiling. After a few more hits, Danny took back the joint. Then he tapped it out in a ceramic ashtray.
“Why’d you do that?” I asked in a dreamy voice.
“Eli, you’re enjoying it too much,” Danny smirked. “I don’t want you wasted.”
Danny turned his attention back to the guitar, but I started giggling, unable to stop.
“See what I mean?” Danny laughed, “I’m turning you into a delinquent, Eli.”
“No you’re not. I’m not. I’m just feeling...”
“Me too,” Danny replied, and he put down his guitar.
Then Danny took my face in his strong but gentle hands and crushed his lips to mine. His probing tongue entered my mouth, tangling with my own, exploring.
Two hearts beat rapidly as one. Danny’s hands moved under my sweater, gripping my back. Skin against skin; this was hot. I’d wanted this all day.
“What am I going to do with you?” Danny whispered by my ear and I shivered.
“Whatever you want, I’m yours.” I wanted Danny so badly.
“This was not in my plans,” Danny said softly, withdrawing his hands.
I turned away, unable to hide my disappointment and quietly cried.
“Eli, don’t cry.” Danny said gently, holding me in his arms.
“What do you expect? Because I don’t know what your plan is. Neither do you. I was just going along and once again I’ve made wrong assumptions and I’m getting hurt. Maybe I shouldn’t have come here tonight. Sorry I intruded.”
“Don’t say that. Eli, you’re never an intrusion. You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever known.” Danny sat up straight. His sapphire eyes masked deep conflict. “Damn it, Eli! I didn’t want this to happen. I’m falling in love with you and I don’t want to be.”
Danny was falling in love with me! He didn’t want to be. I was as confused as Danny. Tears fell again. Danny held me and let me cry. When I wouldn’t stop, he held me closer and stroked my hair.
“C’mon, Eli,” he said tenderly, “Don’t cry. I thought you’d be happy hearing that I’m in love with you.”
“I am. It’s what you said next. You don’t want to be.”
“I want to be. Just not yet.”
“I always thought when a man told me he was in love with me it would be followed by, you know, love.”
“And all the problems of the world would be solved? You’ve been watching too many Miranda Jordan films, Elizabeth. We’re not fictional. I’m a real man and you’re a real woman. It’s more complicated in real life.”
“No, you’re what’s more complicated. I have never met anybody as complicated as you.”
Danny lifted my chin up to look directly at me. “It keeps me from being boring, doesn’t it.” I smiled. “You wouldn’t want a boring boyfriend anymore than I want a boring girlfriend.”
“What I’d really like is a boyfriend who’s consistent and makes sense.”
Danny cuddled me to his chest. “I know,” he said softly. “I just can’t make promises yet.”
“Daniel, what am I going to do about you?”
“Love me?” Danny gave me an impish little boy grin. “Love me despite my flaws?”
“Why do you have this power over me?” I blurted out in frustration.
“Because you love me?”
“It’s so unfair.” I adjusted myself onto my knees so I looked directly into the deep blue eyes that always melted me. I reached for Danny’s hands.
“Danny,” I trembled. I’d never confessed my love to a man. “You are the most infuriating man I have ever met. You drive me insane. I should tell you to go to hell, but I can’t, because I love you.”
I’d never seen Danny smile so brightly. His upturned lips quivered. The effect was electric.
Then Danny stared into my eyes with power and depth I had never experienced. “Elizabeth, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever known, both inside and out. You have the patience of a saint for putting up with me. I’m glad you haven’t told me to go to hell, although you probably should have. Please don’t, though. I’d be miserable without you honey, because I love you. More than anything.”
Danny pulled me by my hands on top of him and tumbled me to his side. My hands clasped around his neck and he held me as close as possible. Our lips parted, joining us together, bound by love.
Danny and I kissed unlike any other time, his mouth forcefully claiming mine. Our hearts beat with an uncontrollable intensity. When we finally broke apart to breath, Danny whispered, “I love you, Eli.”
“I love you too, Danny.”
“I love how that sounds,” Danny smiled, relieved that he’d finally confessed his true feelings for me.
Danny’s kisses intensified. His hands crept beneath my sweater, touching every inch of my body with purpose. I gasped from the excitement, and I thought I would die when Danny lifted my sweater over my head and dropped it on the floor.
My fingers were shaking. I clumsily unbuttoned Danny’s shirt. Then his fingers deftly unhooked my bra and pushed it off my shoulders. I finally removed his shirt.
I had seen Danny without a shirt before, but this was overwhelming. The sight of Danny’s sculpted chest and the realization that it belonged to me, made me shiver. My bare skin against Danny’s tingled. Never had I felt these sensations.
Danny’s hands were all over me. There was no stopping. I didn’t want him to. Danny had one hand around my back, holding me, and his other hand cupped my breast. I arched my back pressing against Danny’s hand, encouraging. I’d never felt such electricity.
Danny’s forehead nearly touched mine as I held his face, masculine with stubble. He looked at me in a way I had not seen before; pure love.
Powerful emotions had overtaken us. Without words, I knew how he felt. It was the same for me. It was impossible to contain the love I wanted to share with this incredible man.
“Tonight’s our night, babe,” Danny whispered.
Danny stretched his arm across me to reach a drawer in the nearby desk. I giggled as he crushed me while his fingers found what they were searching for; a foil condom packet.
“It might hurt a little the first time, but I’ll be gentle,” Danny promised.
I was soaring with happiness and shivering in fear. I wanted this so badly, but the unknown frightened me.
Our lips smashed together again, increasing our desire, while in the distance we heard Cam and Shane return to the suite.
My inexperienced hands struggled to open the button of Danny’s jeans while his expertly opened mine. While I fumbled with his zipper, Danny pushed my jeans off and I eagerly lifted my hips, making removal easier.
Danny grinned as he stared at me lying on the bed, now wearing only a pale pink lace thong. “God, you’re gorgeous, Eli,” he whispered. I smiled brighter than ever, before kissing Danny again.
Finally, I had Danny’s jeans open. He took my hand and guided it to him. I couldn’t believe I was
doing this. My heart beat even more rapidly. I freaked, but in a good way. I’d never seen a naked man before! Or felt one! I had no idea Danny would be so large, or so hard. How would he fit? This was going to hurt.
Without knocking, Shane bounced into the room. “Hey Danny, you should have…”
Danny collapsed on top of me, shielding my nakedness from Shane’s view.
“Don’t you know how to knock?” Danny scowled.
Shane turned crimson realizing for the first time that it was me laying beneath Danny.
“Sorry. I didn’t …,” he stammered.
“Can’t I make love to my girlfriend without you barging in?” Danny snapped.
“Girlfriend? I ... It was unlocked,” Shane answered awkwardly, and he quickly backed out of the room.
Our mood had been broken. Danny lifted himself off of me so I could breath again. He propped himself on one elbow and clasped my hand. I enjoyed watching Danny’s eyes take in my unclothed body, enjoying me fully, while I stared at his.
“Why didn’t we do this last night when our parents were at the theater?” Danny asked.
“You were still being stupid?” I teased, and I pulled him to me for a kiss.
“Tonight isn’t our night after all, baby.”
“I guess not.” I smiled at Danny. I was disappointed, but I didn’t want Danny to think I was disappointed with him.
Danny kissed my hand and held it to his heart. “Eli, it will be our night very soon. I promise. And I will make it perfect for you. We’ve waited so long. What’s another few nights to get it right?”
CHAPTER 32 - ELIZABETH
Saturday dawned as the most awkward day in what had become the most frustrating week. To my dismay, Danny had not found a time when his roommates were sure to be out of their suite. Worse, after declaring our love, I had barely seen him.
Danny hadn’t dined with our group more than a couple of times. I hadn’t seen him in the library. I hadn’t seen him in The Cellar, either. He hadn’t come to my room, or invited me to his. It was all very strange.
Danny sent me text messages. All they said was, “I love you” or “I have your car.” Nice to know, but not insightful.
I couldn’t exactly ask Shane or Cam what was up with their roommate. How would it look if Danny’s girlfriend didn’t know where he was? Cam and Shane would assume something was seriously wrong between us. And in the back of my head that concerned me the most.
After that magical evening, I wondered if there wasn’t something already wrong in our nascent relationship. Had Danny changed his mind? Was he having second thoughts?
I could have called, but it was important for Danny to know I would give him his space when he wanted it. He shouldn’t think I was one of those clingy girlfriends.
Tonight was the formal. It was absurd when you thought about it. Chloe was going with Cam as friends. Shane was going with someone I didn’t know, and Rachel was going with a group of film department friends.
I, the only one with the boyfriend who sent love text messages, was home with no plans. Forget the formal. It was Saturday night. Danny should at least have made other plans with me, if for no other reason than as a peace offering.
Faced with watching everyone primping, I decided to go off-campus. The nearest decent mall was an hour away, near Albany. Retail therapy would do me good. I could jump-start my Chanukah shopping.
When I arrived in the snow-dusted parking lot, my car was gone! “Daniel!” I growled. Angry, I speed-dialed him.
“Hi baby,” he answered cheerfully.
“Where is my car, Daniel?” I demanded.
“Don’t you want to know where I am?” Danny asked innocently.
“I know where you are. You’re in my car, which I want back. Now!”
I sounded like a spoiled brat, but I was desperate to leave Donnelly.
“I’m running an important errand. I’ll be awhile,” Danny explained.
“Great!” I answered sarcastically. “What am I supposed to do? I’ve got to get out of here, Daniel.”
“Eli, calm down.”
“I can’t. All anyone is talking about is the formal. Then you’re not with me. I don’t even know where you are.” My voice was rising to near hysteria.
“Take my car,” he suggested.
“Why didn’t you take your car? Then I would have mine.”
“There’s three inches of fresh snow in the parking lot,” Danny pointed out. “Uh, yeah Eli, you can’t take my car either then.”
“We’re in upstate New York! Why don’t you get a car that’s not so useless?”
“Eli, chill, honey.”
“I will not chill! It’s Saturday! Did you ever think I might want to use my own car on a Saturday, Daniel?”
“I did. But this is important. You’ll see tonight.”
“Tonight? You never asked if I was available, Daniel.”
“Elizabeth, you’re my girlfriend. It’s Saturday night.”
“You never asked me to keep myself free.”
Danny took an exasperated breath before continuing.
“I didn’t know I needed to. I thought it was a given that my girlfriend spends Saturday night with me,” he pointed out.
“I’m still angry about the formal.”
“I know, babe. I’m trying to make it up to you.”
“You are? Then I can’t wait to see you,” I said gleefully.
“That’s my girl,” I could hear his smile. “Thanks, Sweetheart. I love you.”
“I love you too, Danny.”
An afternoon spent in the library was preferable to watching Chloe and Rachel primp. Neither had been sympathetic when I bemoaned not attending the formal
“What does it matter?” Rachel said in an uncharacteristically harsh tone. “Everyone knows you’re with Danny. So what if you don’t show him off one time.”
That hurt. I didn’t think I went around “showing him off.”
“Danny isn’t any boyfriend,” Chloe added. “He’s the hottest guy at Donnelly and he’s crazy about you. That’s all that matters.”
They didn’t get it. All the other girls at Donnelly who had boyfriends were spending the afternoon getting their hair and nails done so they would look perfect tonight. I had never been one of them. I wanted to be one.
The library was relatively empty, and I settled into a distant cubicle wanting to keep hidden. Distracted, I concentrated on tonight’s date with Danny instead of my books. Once I got past my disappointment over the formal, Rachel and Chloe were probably right. In the long run what did it matter?
It mattered when I heard a girl whisper to her friend, “Look. It’s Elizabeth Jacobs.”
“Then maybe it’s just a rumor, and she isn’t dating Danny Newman,” her friend replied in a hopeful whisper. “He might be available.”
Enough! With uncharacteristic boldness, I strode over and tapped on the cubicle wall to get their attention. When the girls realized it was the object of their gossip, they froze them in place. Yeah girls, you’re so busted.
“Excuse me,” I said politely. “I couldn’t help but overhear. Since you wondered, I’m here studying. Finals start next week, and I expect to ace mine. As for my boyfriend, he’s definitely not available.” And he wouldn’t want you if he was.
I returned to my cubicle, smirking over their embarrassment and armed with renewed resolve to make tonight’s date unforgettable.
There was under an hour left to prep for Danny when I returned from the Library. I had no idea what we were doing or what I should wear?
After examining my wardrobe and rejecting several choices, I selected a short denim skirt and the yellow and white print silk top Danny selected at Bergdorf’s. I pulled my hair into a ponytail held by a yellow ribbon. It would accentuate the drawstring neckline I would enjoy having Danny untie. Finally, I dimmed the overhead light and lit some candles. There! Ready!
Seven o’clock came and went and I found myself pacing. I knew Danny wouldn’t sta
nd me up, so why was I such a bundle of nerves?
Danny said he was making up for us missing the formal, but how? There was only one way I could think of. But what was he planning that required an all day disappearance?
The knock on the door that I had been waiting all day for finally came. My heart caught in my throat and I grinned. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door. There was my love, looking like a G.Q. model; male perfection in a ski jacket.
Danny, his backpack on his shoulder, was carrying a large shopping bag. He entered, closed the door and locked it. Danny was wearing the biggest grin ever. I threw myself into his arms. His glee was infectious.
Danny’s rosy cheeks were cold from the December air and smarted as I took them in my hands. “I missed you so much,” I murmured, and I kissed him.
“This is the welcome I was hoping for.” Danny grinned.
“You’re ice cold,” I said, and he shrugged.
I lifted Danny’s cashmere scarf from his collar, pressed the length against his cheeks and kissed him again. Danny smiled as the fringe tickled. “How’s that?” I asked.
“Baby, I feel warmer already,” he answered.
Danny kissed me and moved into the room. I watched as he gently placed his backpack on the desk, barely avoiding a candle. That was not the fire I wanted to start tonight.
Meanwhile, the sizeable shopping bag remained on the floor.
“Petrossian? You went to New York?” I asked in disbelief. I was dumbstruck by the shopping bag from New York’s finest caviar purveyor.
“Sorry I’m late. There was traffic,” was all Danny answered.
He was so nonchalant, as though it was a typical weekday commute.
“You went to Petrossian?” I repeated as Danny removed his jacket and scarf and hung them on one of the colorful metal hooks affixed by the door. Underneath he was wearing a white dress shirt with jeans and loafers.
“Preppy looks nice on you,” I said as I touched his softly stubbled cheek.
Danny pulled me into his arms and brushed an errant lock of hair off of my face.
“And Santa Monica socialite looks beautiful on you, Elizabeth,” he quietly laughed as our lips met for another kiss.
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