by Lia Black
"Please, Veyl. Don't push me away." Kaidos raised Veyl's hand again and kissed it.
Veyl sighed. In reality, this might be their last night together. His chest ached to think about it. But he also worried about Kaidos' response to his once perfect body now showing the remnants of bites, bruises, and being so pitifully weak and thin. His diet—when he bothered to eat—had been mostly liquids.
Perhaps it would be better to be rejected if this truly were the last time they would have together, although he knew in his soul that Kaidos was not that kind of man. He nodded his head slightly and closed his eyes. "Kai..."
"Would you feel better with just a candle burning?" Kaidos suggested.
Veyl nodded again, silently appreciating Kaidos' compassion. He watched Kaidos walk across the room to douse the flames in the oil lanterns, taking off his shirt as he did. Veyl looked at the many scars that had broken up the tattoos on his back. He wanted to touch them, to get to know every one of them, because he'd not yet been given enough time to memorize them all.
Veyl was wearing a simple muslin nightshirt. The ship's surgeon had been by earlier to remove the stitches and he hadn't bothered to get dressed. He loosened the ties at the throat and let it drop to the floor, standing naked and vulnerable, waiting for Kaidos' reaction when he turned. Kaidos hadn't seen his body since prior to the attack by Lirin, and he wondered if he would be horrified by what he'd see.
Kaidos turned around and hesitated for a moment when he saw Veyl. Most of the bruises had faded to yellow, and so were not extremely visible by candlelight. But there were a lot of them in places where it made what had occurred disturbingly obvious.
Veyl felt his heart being squeezed in his chest as he tried to measure Kaidos' reaction. "Does it repulse you?" His voice was barely a whisper, as he feared anything louder would cause it to crack.
Kaidos' features softened. "No, Veyl, no... It saddens me to know that you were hurt, it angers me that it happened at all, but you are still, and always will be, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."
Veyl took in a sharp breath. He'd been reminded his entire life how beautiful he was, but this was the first time he heard it with such sincerity that he actually believed it. He swallowed back a lump rising in his throat and blinked back tears that slicked his eyelashes, lowering his gaze as Kaidos crossed to him.
Placing his hands gently on Veyl's arms, Kaidos leaned in to kiss him. Veyl fanned his hands over Kaidos' chest, feeling the heat and his heart beating through it as his big hands slid over Veyl's back, pulling him closer to the hardness pressing through his breeches.
"Let me touch you..." Veyl begged. They had been here before many times over the journey, and each time Kaidos had given him a sweet suffering smile. He wouldn't let Veyl touch him until he could reciprocate, and he wouldn't do that until Veyl was healthy enough to handle it.
"Later. Right now I want to touch you." Kaidos stepped back and took Veyl's hand. Veyl hoped he couldn't feel it shaking.
Kaidos led him to the makeshift tub. Veyl slowly lowered himself down into the bath; the water settled just under his ribcage. There was room to sit cross-legged, but certainly not enough space to stretch out. He felt Kaidos dribbling warm water down his back and shoulders, squeezed from a large sponge, and he sighed.
Kaidos, while not necessarily methodical, was thorough, and the gentle circular motion of the sponge and the soap soon had Veyl relaxed.
"Tip your head back; I want to wash your hair." Kaidos' lips brushed against Veyl's ear and the gentle caress made him shiver.
He did as Kaidos asked; tipping his head back. Kaidos poured warm water slowly through his long hair, then began to massage his scalp, rubbing in something scented like lavender. A groan escaped Veyl's lips. Once again, he felt cared for by this man; this rogue who showed only his rough edges to the rest of the world. It felt so nice that Veyl made himself forget for the moment that this was little more than fattening the lamb for slaughter.
Still massaging, Kaidos moved slightly to Veyl's left side so he could angle his chin to kiss him. Veyl groaned against his lips and he stiffened up below the water.
Kaidos chuckled softly as he broke off from the kiss. "Let's finish your bath."
"Yes, let's." Veyl purred and surprised Kaidos by pulling him into the small tub. Kaidos landed across his lap, his legs hanging out over the rim and his eyes wide.
"I must be crushing you!" Kaidos laughed.
"Mmm, yes." Veyl tipped up Kaidos' chin and kissed him, sucking and then nipping lightly on his lower lip. "I want this beard off." He breathed against Kaidos' temple. "I want your clothes off."
Veyl could feel Kaidos' body tense slightly and he sucked in a trembling breath. He knew he had surprised him when he'd dragged him into the tub, but Veyl was sick of being handled with kid gloves.
"Okay," Kaidos said, "but let's do the beard first."
*~*~*
Veyl was completely, entirely, distracting; and by the gods if anyone had ever told Kaidos that shaving could be so erotic he'd have been kept as smooth as a fish.
A lantern had been set to burn nearby the wooden chair where Kaidos sat. His hands gripped the arms as Veyl straddled his lap and drew a razor over his tender flesh. The sound of the slick blade scraping across his stubble, slicing off the wiry black hairs, should have been nerve-wracking, but somehow Veyl made it sexy. Veyl was only wearing a towel around his hips; he'd braided his damp wavy hair and the ends of it snaked over his shoulder, brushing against Kaidos' belly as he moved.
Kaidos squirmed beneath him, also wearing a towel. His cock was painfully hard. He wondered if Veyl was rocking on purpose--he'd lean back to rinse the blade in a bowl of water on the side table, then rock forward to draw the razor over Kaidos' face. Veyl's expression was like stone as he concentrated on his task.
When he'd finally finished, he set the razor aside and ran his hands over Kaidos' smooth cheeks.
"There you are." Veyl breathed against his lips. He kissed him softly, teasing.
Veyl slid off Kaidos' lap and dropped his towel as he moved to the bed, then lay down on his side and propped his head on one hand, holding the other out to Kaidos.
Kaidos glanced at the cabin door. He'd told Ahrn to stay away and assumed the man would do so, but still he'd felt the need to brace a chair beneath the handle.
He felt strangely self-conscious as he dropped his own towel and stood naked in the center of the room. He was so hard he ached, and the approving look on Veyl's face was making him harder.
"Come here." Veyl beckoned with his hand.
He didn't have to ask twice.
Grabbing the bottle of oil Veyl had used for his shave, Kaidos met him on the bed, laying down on his side and pulling Veyl into a kiss. There was so much he wanted to do—so many ways he wanted to touch and be touched, but circumstances being what they were, he was happy just to be close. He shuddered as Veyl pressed entirely against him, sliding the length and hardness of his body against Kaidos' own.
Kaidos began to contemplate the situation that had led them to this point. Had he not rejected Veyl's advances that night at the inn, would Veyl have stayed? Since then, he'd been thinking a lot about what he'd say—and do—if he ever had the chance. And now he had it, so he wouldn't let it slip away again.
"Okay."
Veyl lifted his head, his lovely face lined with confusion. "Okay?"
Kaidos sighed, unable to meet his eyes. "Okay. I want you to…" He swallowed the rock that had formed in his throat and tried again. "I want you inside of me."
Had he not been so embarrassed by the sound of his own words, Kaidos would have laughed at the expression of complete surprise on Veyl's face.
"You...you're sure?"
"No. I'm not sure. But I'm willing to try it with you." Kaidos blushed then. "I mean, you're the expert...and you'll stop if..."
Veyl pressed up against Kaidos' body, letting Kaidos feel his growing erection. "I can't promise I'll stop, but I will make certain
your body at least is prepared to go forward. So if you don't want to do this--"
Kaidos took Veyl's face between his hands, tipping his head up slightly to meet his eyes. "I do."
"Gods Kaidos, you don't know what that means to me to hear that..." Veyl put his hands on Kaidos' face and pulled him into a deep kiss, and Kaidos responded. He opened his mouth, inviting in Veyl's tongue and following it back with his own.
Veyl's mouth was always so hot and sweet, that it tasted like fresh honey. For his part, Kaidos had been trying hard to learn from Veyl's style of kissing. Veyl's clutching hands and small whimpers as he delved deeper into his mouth convinced him he was doing quite well.
Kaidos slid an arm under Veyl and rolled him so that Veyl was now on top of him. His breath caught as Veyl broke off and moved lower, taking advantage of the new position by running his lips down to taste a nipple. It was a foreign sensation to Kaidos, far more sensitive than he would have expected. He shivered as Veyl sucked the tiny bud, brushing his tongue against it as he rolled the other one between his fingers.
"You're killing me..." Kaidos rasped, and his hips gave a slow upward arch. He hissed at the delightful little spike of pain as Veyl gave his nipple a pinch.
"That would be a shame." Veyl chuckled softly from the vicinity of his navel. He stabbed it with his tongue, and then continued down, avoiding Kaidos' leaking cock lying against his belly. Kaidos gnawed his bottom lip, groaning in frustration as well as arousal as Veyl began to touch, kiss, and lick him everywhere but the one place demanding attention.
"Turn over, please." Veyl said as he knelt between Kaidos' open thighs. He managed to make the request sound like a promise, but Kaidos felt the small warning spark in the pit of his belly.
"I'd rather...can we do it from the front? I need to see you..." It sounded foolish to him, but he wanted to be able to ground himself using Veyl's face in case a memory tried to take over.
Veyl smiled kindly. "Of course. Lift your hips a little."
When Kaidos did so, Veyl shoved a pillow underneath him and returned to his earlier position between Kaidos' legs.
Kaidos gasped and uttered a small cry when he felt Veyl's tongue licking him underneath his balls and moving to the tender pinched hole below. The sensation was like nothing he'd ever felt as Veyl's tongue circled, then pushed firmly inside. Kaidos' hips gave an involuntary jerk and his cock throbbed, producing another thick bead of crystalline precome.
"V-Veyl...I-I can't hold--"
"Shhh..." Veyl's breath against his moistened skin felt like a cool caress. He reached out for the bottle of oil, then sat up, rubbing some between his fingers.
Kaidos gasped, forcing his eyes open wide as one finger slipped inside of him, only just breaching the entrance. With his other hand, Veyl caressed his cock, running feather light touches over its length in a gesture that was both stimulating yet oddly relaxing. Then he pushed the oiled finger in farther, giving a little twist as he did. The result was not painful but more of a pressure, which began to let up as Veyl slowly caressed him from the inside, moving his finger smoothly in and out.
"You doing all right, Kai?" He asked in his soft, breathy purr.
"Yeah..." Kaidos nodded. He took the opportunity to close his eyes and just feel for a moment. He was getting to know the sensations that had become foreign to him, wanting to replace the humiliation of his past with the memory of pleasure he was receiving at Veyl's hands. He remembered what Veyl had told him about that time in the alley, when he'd made Kaidos hurt him: erasing memories. Yes. This was like that, only without the pain or desperation. This was making new memories. Giving his body to a man by choice with his experience and wisdom intact.
Veyl slid in another finger, taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly, as if offering them as a suggestion. Kaidos subconsciously mimicked his breathing and his body relaxed once more. However, by the time Veyl slid in a third finger, Kaidos was begging him.
"Please..."
When Veyl's fingers slipped out, Kaidos winced from the loss, but soon he felt the blunt head of Veyl's cock pressing against his entrance and his body went rigid with fear. Veyl leaned down and kissed Kaidos tenderly on the side of his mouth. "Look at me, Kai."
Kaidos turned his head, his pupils blown wide. He wanted this, but he needed to know it was Veyl--not Lirin--who was making it happen.
Veyl smiled. "Good."
Kaidos followed him with his eyes as Veyl leaned back to kneel between his legs once more. During this whole exchange, he hadn't moved away, but it wasn't until he gave a little push of his hips that Kaidos realized he'd been there the whole time.
"Breathe," Veyl reminded softly as he began to press against the resistance, ever so slowly. "Look at me, Kai--see me."
Kaidos relaxed again, and focused on Veyl's beautiful eyes. The color was so warm; like a sunset—like crackling flames. They were the opposite of those dead, wintry blue eyes that had dismantled him body and soul…
Again, the fleeting memory of Lirin sent a flash of panic through Kaidos and he sucked in a sharp breath, his entire body becoming rigid as stone. He hadn't realized he'd squeezed his eyes shut until he felt Veyl's warm breath pass over his eyelids.
"Shhh…" Veyl brushed a kiss to Kaidos' temple, soothing away a tear that had leaked out. "We don't have to do this."
"No," Kaidos' voice was hoarse from the tightness of his throat, "I want to." He let out a long, slow breath, then nodded to Veyl, his rough fingertips gently skimming down his arms. "I have to."
Veyl's smile was kind, almost apologetic, and Kaidos knew that he understood. Veyl had had been hurt too, they shared this unfortunate history.
Veyl reached down, gently circling Kaidos' tightly pinched hole with one finger until Kaidos began to relax enough for him to slowly work it inside again. Then he repositioned himself at the opening, one hand stroking Kaidos' inner thigh as he circled the rim with the head of his cock.
This time, Kaidos forced his eyes to stay open, and they locked together with Veyl's as he began to breach the outer ring of muscle. Each time Kaidos felt a twinge of pain, he concentrated on what actually was rather than what had once been. This was Veyl. This was a joining and not an invasion.
Once the flared head of Veyl's cock was inside, the pain dwindled to a mild burn. Veyl was slight, and gentle, yet somehow powerful enough that Kaidos knew he would never refuse him anything. He felt a moment of temporary displacement when he realized that Veyl's power didn't come from control. It came from Kaidos' desire to relinquish his own. It was frightening yet freeing at the same time.
"Gods, Kaidos; you feel so good," Veyl told him breathlessly.
"Keep going." Kaidos wanted more—needed to feel Veyl filling him. He concentrated on the slow, stretching down below as Veyl complied. His eyelids fluttered and he let out a deep groan as he was filled completely, and Veyl's pelvis pressed against the spot beneath his balls. His own cock, which had initially begin to soften, now returned to full and eager attention.
"Okay?" Veyl asked breathlessly.
Inside, Kaidos felt Veyl's cock throb. He was feeling good too, yet holding back for his sake. Kaidos knew that feeling well from being enveloped in Veyl's deliciously tight heat.
"Good..." Kaidos smiled, "It's good. Go ahead and move."
Veyl smiled, his cheeks flushing a little from the effort of holding back. "I thought you'd never ask."
Veyl began to move then, not tentatively, but slowly enough that it was obvious he was waiting for Kaidos to adjust to him mentally and physically. While Kaidos appreciated it at first, after a few strokes, the slow pace was almost becoming agonizing.
"I'm not made of glass," Kaidos said to him, He sucked in a sharp breath when Veyl moved his hips in such a way that he hit something inside. "Oh!" Kaidos felt a bolt of lightning zing through him and his cock wept from the sensation. Veyl raised one eyebrow, wearing a satisfied smirk.
"If you're sure..." He said, still moving slowly, but occasionally--purposeful
ly--mashing into that trigger.
Gods—Kaidos had never felt pleasure like that. He knew from Veyl prodding him with fingers or tongue that it was going to feel good—but this was a sensation nearly beyond description.
"Fuck me," Kaidos challenged.
Veyl gave one sharp, deep thrust making Kaidos' eyes roll back into his head and banishing all coherent thoughts from his mind.
"Touch yourself," Veyl said in a low, breathy purr that made Kaidos' toes curl.
Kaidos gripped his own cock, moaning and shivering at how sensitive he was. Veyl lifted Kaidos' legs, bracing them against his shoulders, and began driving into him in a hard rhythm. Kaidos pumped himself awkwardly for a few strokes until he was able to match Veyl's tempo. A delicious shiver went through him as Veyl turned his head and drew his tongue along the inside of Kaidos' knee.
Kaidos watched him through his eyelashes, the pale golden beauty who had him willingly rolled up beneath him; Veyl's cheeks were flushed and he was breathing hard. Kaidos briefly worried that he was overtaxing himself too soon, but another push against the bundle of nerves inside and Kaidos lost himself completely in the intensely pleasurable sensations. His muscles spasmed and gripped Veyl's long, slim cock, drawing out a deep groan from him that went straight through to Kaidos' spine.
"I-I'm going to…I have to--" As much as he'd tried to hold out and delay his own orgasm, Kaidos couldn't compete against the ecstasy that Veyl was wringing out of him when he shoved in and ground against that exquisite place inside. Kaidos felt every muscle lock as all feeling became concentrated below his waist. For one agonizing moment, the pressure inside and out threatened to break him. And then Veyl pushed hard and deep, focusing on that spot that released it all.
Kaidos felt himself unraveling as his orgasm exploded through him, and the world dropped away. He threw his head back in a silent cry and light flashed to darkness behind his eyelids. He came so hard that it hurt, as his nerves tried to register all of the sensations at once. A moment later Veyl followed suit, crying out as he filled Kaidos' with bursts of wet heat, and Kaidos shuddered through even more pleasure as he felt Veyl's cock expanding and filling him with his seed.
